homecoming Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 Feeling strange - my ex and I were attending classes together. The school got shut down because of the virus, and so that's it. We won't see each other again. We weren't speaking anyway, but I still feel like it's just a bit rubbish. I keep expecting (and maybe hoping) that my ex would say something, but no. Nothing. Feels horrid to know that someone doesn't even care enough to reach out to you, and that you don't mean anything to them. I myself had considered reaching out - due to it being the end of uni I just felt sentimental, and, wanted to send a short 'goodbye' message. But yeah. What's the point, really. 1
preraph Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 No point. You'd hate yourself for it later, letting your dignity go like that. It's for the best, I'm sure. 1
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 (edited) 39 minutes ago, preraph said: No point. You'd hate yourself for it later, letting your dignity go like that. It's for the best, I'm sure. He's right! Don't reach out and stay nc. I will never break NC again! Edited March 24, 2020 by Realitysux 1
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 (edited) Well I feel like s***! First I had contact with this guy which led me to go on a date when I wasn't ready which left me feeling worse about myself. I tried to be friends with him and text him, he text me yesterday but he's taking a long time to respond tonight. Why did I allow this guy to try to manipulate my life. I had to work with my boss today and when the boss wasn't around, another girl was talking to me non stop but as soon as the boss came back then she went silent and I was like am I missing something socially? We're talking about vitamins! And we're sitting in his car? Then I was at work and this guy kind of got mad at me but this same guy loved me on Friday and text me so I was like how did I go from having tons of people to no one in one weekend! Then I said oh well, what can you do? Just keep going and try not to think about it to much. Make some goals and try to achieve them. Maybe people really don't like me anymore. I can't change that .. I am trying! Edited March 24, 2020 by Realitysux 1
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 (edited) Okay, he's texting me back! Again, jerk f***ed my head up so ignore the jerk. Edited March 24, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 A little no contact goes a long way! I feel great this morning. I'm on my way to work and I don't have any trim to do today which is a nice change. I'm going to a 6 floor building to finish up. Hang mirrors, doors and other odds and ends to finish up the job. Nice way to end before the government shuts us down! I didn't take the meds yesterday and I still feel somewhat normal. I talked to the guy from the weekend and we are good so I don't feel rejected. I think I need to start looking at people with more compassion instead of jumping to omg this guy was right, no he wasn't. He was wrong actually. He was very wrong and I am not going to allow him to affect my life any longer. Even though he is behind the female friend I have, I don't know what to do about that!
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 I'm doing better. I started my day off by looking at something suspicious that I thought was then but I was ignored. I started to think about how I reacted during this. I mean the reality is that I was rejected by this person over and over again. He never liked me and if he did then this never would have happened. I'm starting to notice them back out now and instead of feeling like what did I do now, I should have done this, I should have done that, there was nothing I could have done. Nothing I could have done could change their mind about me so let them go! They don't like my job now but I'm enjoying the work and the people I work with and the fact were still open and working .. 1
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 I've got bruises all over my thigh and blisters all over my feet but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Some people are meant to do it while others aren't ... 1
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 And I'm going to take this opportunity to figure out what kind of person I want to be. I definitely want to be clean so I am cleaning my room and my house. I also want to do things that I want to do not for anyone else approval and I really feel like I have that freedom now. I don't care that the gyms and tanning salons are closed either. The guy should have left a long time ago and who he's with and what he's doing is really not a concern to me. 1
Realitysux Posted March 25, 2020 Posted March 25, 2020 I'm feeling pretty fantabulous and normal today with out any medications! I don't feel depressed at all and if the gyms were open then I would go. I don't care what anybody says! You can beat it without meds!
Will87 Posted March 26, 2020 Posted March 26, 2020 Week 6 of breakup but found out she cheated on me and that’s why she left 3 days ago. Im angry, betrayed, love her, hate her, miss her. 1
Realitysux Posted March 27, 2020 Posted March 27, 2020 (edited) I'm doing okay, but I blocked everyone associated to this guy and I'm going to start meeting people in person only. I'm not putting myself in a situation with dating since what happened the last time (Saturday), I am going to go to work and home for a bit and I'll continue to stay offline. I told him that I don't want his help but he wants to give his help anyways. I am tired of this guy now. I can not take any more of him. Edited March 27, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 27, 2020 Posted March 27, 2020 (edited) 53 minutes ago, Realitysux said: I'm doing okay, but I blocked everyone associated to this guy and I'm going to start meeting people in person only. I'm not putting myself in a situation with dating since what happened the last time (Saturday), I am going to go to work and home for a bit and I'll continue to stay offline. I told him that I don't want his help but he wants to give his help anyways. I am tired of this guy now. I can not take any more of him. Okay and I'll just get this out. For the last two days and tomorrow, I've been sent to my bosses house. He's a great boss and I am happy to be working with and for him but I'm spending the majority of my day drinking beer and making fires in the pit. We told him today we're done and he said "I'm going to get you to come tomorrow too. I want to bring some more stuff to storage and I'm going to get you to rake my lawn just this one time" I'm getting kind of tired of drinking during the day and today I did get a bit tipsy because we had a few. It was time for me to leave and they wanted to sit and have another beer .. were going on the boat in a few more weeks and I'll drink with them then and enjoy it but I don't really feel like doing it tomorrow at all. I'm not allowed to tell anyone else about it and I'm not allowed to share any of the pictures but i don't really know what to think. I mean, he's a good looking guy and single and successful but considering all of my previous s*** with men, I'd like to keep this relationship professional only!! I was nervous to go inside and use the bathroom when he was inside just because I didn't want to be in that situation. These days I get somewhat nervous around attractive men and he can see that so he looks at me then looks away real quick like maybe it makes him nervous and eventually he's going to think I like him and its just the situation I'm in that's making me nervous. He's paying me a full day to do f*** all and drink. I need to heal on my own before I get involved with a man. I just don't want to be in an awkward situation with any man period. Although, he is going to build a house in the country and a bigger shop and ultimately have everything I want for myself so I could be using this time to land this guy only I'm too insecure that there is no way that I could do that. I'm going to leave work and come home depressed tomorrow too ! And more so since I blocked all my friends. Edited March 27, 2020 by Realitysux 1
Realitysux Posted March 27, 2020 Posted March 27, 2020 (edited) Maybe when the gyms open and society is back and I give myself a few months in the gym and getting healthy and s*** then I can revisit my boss! I do kind of like him and wouldn't mind hooking up with him .. which is wrong considering I'm there to work. Edited March 27, 2020 by Realitysux
Sinful Posted March 27, 2020 Posted March 27, 2020 Well, I had a little relapse. I was bored and browsing on social media and up popped a photo of my ex together all smiles and in love with the guy she left me for. It sickens me that she could be that sinister and vile. I see now that she used me and had this planned out for quite some time. There's not much of a lower form of human being than what she is.
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) If this lasts months, I'm going to loose my mind. I am so bored! I am tired of sitting at home alone. I was at my bosses today drinking some more, I really didn't do it to impress anyone, I'm a social drinker and there was nothing else to do. Sitting there without drinking would have been a long day! I learned that I didn't like doing that and I'd rather be working. Then I got rid of a friend I had for more than ten years because he had a gf and I didn't think it was appropriate to be texting him. He asks me for photos and his comments are a little bit inappropriate. I am so used to loosing people lately, doesn't phase me. He also will never visit me again and he's a waste of time. I needed to get rid of him and I did. I'm a big believer in what goes around, comes around so I figured if I respect his relationship then I'll eventually have my own. I have been single, what seems like the longest on this forum, I'm not going to go chase men or look for it, but I'm sure it'll will happen one day. I will also never log onto a dating site and pick up a man, they just want sex and it is such a waste of time. I thought I picked someone who shared similar goals as I do but that was stupid. I can not wait for the gyms, churches and tanning salons to open up so I can get back at it. I'm only killing time for a few weeks. I blocked douche bags which is good. I'm on one same outlet but I'm not going to let it get to me! That motherf***er can kiss my ass. Edited March 28, 2020 by Realitysux
Will87 Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 I’m not coping, i can feel my anxiety getting worse as soon as I wake up. I need help
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) I'm independent, I'm intelligent, I'm strong so why the f*** do I need a man? I sure as hell do not and the virus is not forever. One day society will be back open. I am not going to sweat it, i don't really fear the virus since I have the immune system. I am ready to build a life on my own! To hell with anyone else. I am getting really tired of reading threads and so I'm back to the coping forum! I'm irritated because if you want something then kudos and go get it but I'm not responsible to be what you want me to be. If you want something then go find it and don't make it my problem! Edited March 28, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 I am a lot stronger then I have ever given myself credit for. I really don't give a rats ass what the hell this guy wants.
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 Jose, joe Zay, Fabio,darcelle,Dan, scott, Steve, Dee, short dude, cottage bitch, whoever else ... f*** you 1
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) I woke up so angry! Can you tell The women text me but I'm so bored and I need friends because my mom is insane! I hate coming home and hide out in my room as much as possible (my mom is staying at my house ) A few years ago, I met with this Indian man and I remember thinking that I wanted to reconnect with him so I engaged. It was a bad experience. He was telling me move on and his eyes were like you are a f***ing idiot. I was asking myself why are you having real people involved and here we are doing the same thing only I'm not doing anything for him. I read this s*** and I feel mortified and empty and I also come across people in a better place then I am too! I'm tired of feeling the same drop from the same guy all this time later. He doesn't like my voice, or my laugh, or my appearance and now he wants to try to manipulate me into feeling better .. it is the worst feeling and I can't even describe it! Yuck .. yuck I picked up another job tomorrow but if course there's another man because women in the trades have to deal with the men! I should warn you that's the most interesting part. How to manuver around all the men you work with because they all want to get laid. I have the experience and someone always wants to get in your pants! It was the worst experience and I'm dragging my ass out of it. I guess I don't have to be so lady like since I'm back in the trades for a couple of years .. it's not a waste of time, the field experience and the fact you can follow plans can get you a really good desk job if you do your resume the right way. Edited March 28, 2020 by Realitysux 1
preraph Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 Do not neglect to keep your boundaries. If you have a good thing going with an employer, be pristine (stop drinking at his house) and don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Even if you want to. I had to navigate a very difficult sexist business years ago and once I got into a job that became my top priority, I didn't mess around with any of them at all. So one didn't get mad because they found out I did Guy 1 but rejected them. Yes, that seems to matter. Be professional to the point where they will feel wrong crossing that line with you. 1
Realitysux Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, preraph said: Do not neglect to keep your boundaries. If you have a good thing going with an employer, be pristine (stop drinking at his house) and don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Even if you want to. I had to navigate a very difficult sexist business years ago and once I got into a job that became my top priority, I didn't mess around with any of them at all. So one didn't get mad because they found out I did Guy 1 but rejected them. Yes, that seems to matter. Be professional to the point where they will feel wrong crossing that line with you. Oooh! Damit. Yea, that makes sense. I'm in the same situation with the job I start tomorrow too! Yikes. I'm going to have to work on that whole boundary thing. Edited March 28, 2020 by Realitysux
preraph Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 Easiest way is tell them you're involved with someone and if they want to know who, just tell them it's too soon. I mean, maybe you could have one drink and then tear out of there ahead of everyone else. Have your own transport. 1
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