Sinful Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, Realitysux said: Was that for me? I already stopped talking to one and the other one, I'll prob end up cancelling. I just got approved for this salad bar I'm going to open and my new job is going well. The truth is, in this isolation I read all these sayings about having sex through the corona virus. I didn't want to sit here wasting time thinking about him while he was off doing that. I already admitted I was jealous before. I don't think being pushed into a relationship by him is going to help me much either! He told me to go and find another man and move on so I've asked him to leave me alone and stop trying to assist me. It's not rocket science. We all want it and he was writing to me too! Yeah, this isolation is making it much harder cause there's just not a lot to do and your mind easily starts to wonder. I know my ex is shacked up with her AP doing everything imaginable. I just try not to think about it. I try to keep myself busy with work and stuff but it's still hard. Trying to stay off social media as much as possible has also helped me a lot. 1
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 6 hours ago, Sinful said: Yeah, this isolation is making it much harder cause there's just not a lot to do and your mind easily starts to wonder. I know my ex is shacked up with her AP doing everything imaginable. I just try not to think about it. I try to keep myself busy with work and stuff but it's still hard. Trying to stay off social media as much as possible has also helped me a lot. I woke up this morning and the guy set up a dating site for me! Thank you for your help eh? WTF
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 I'm doing okay. I have a lot going on and I just got approved for a part time business, I'm on a waiting list for space so I'd rather spend the isolation kind of designing my business plan and establishing some goals. My mom would really benefit off this too! I have to get out of a coffee date and as crazy as this sounds, I'm going to tell him I'm in quarantine because of the virus and I'm in self isolation for 14 days.
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) So I woke up and realized that this guy made me a dating profile on a Spanish website and he himself is Spanish. I don't feel to good about that! I went into work and this guy called and said he had symptoms of the Corona virus but I think he might be trying to get out of work. We all got sent home from work today to monitor how we are feeling. I cancelled the date. Considering he has told me to date, I can't go on a date so today I'm starting nc. I am offline completely and trying not to peak. I need to pick myself up again and focus on my strengths .. the more I talk about it, the more I dwell and feel regret and question all my choices in 7 years. I'm trying not to compare myself to any of them and take care of those in my life. I'm doing okay! Bored but okay. Waiting for my neighbor to go get groceries. I think my food bill just increased because everyone is afraid to run out of food. I'm only going to keep my mom happy! I don't think I need anymore food Edited March 20, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Everyone is just buying food! Grocery store every day!
2BGoodAgain Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 53 minutes ago, Realitysux said: Everyone is just buying food! Grocery store every day! crazy part is... the baking/cake aisle is FULL... at least it was yesterday. 1
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Well I crashed into a depression today after I had contact with them. I feel blah
Realitysux Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 I think this is my last post for a while. I'm okay now. I'm feeling pretty positive. I'm heading out to have a coffee with this guy, going to home Depot, then heading out to the country for some beer, a fire, and maybe play some quitars and music. I am getting out of the house and tomorrow, I'll spend the day cleaning up and getting organized for the work week. I don't really think about the past as I have a great job, side business I am working on and when I profit off that, then I'm going to build a house. I'm working on my driving situation and moving forward. The gyms and tanning salons will be open again at some point, same with hair salons and malls but if I can afford to do this after I spend all my money at the grocery store! Our fish had babies and one managed to survive which was very sweet .. little tiny fish swimming around!
K.K. Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 24 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Not up to par. Aww cheer up.
The Outlaw Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 40 minutes ago, K.K. said: Aww cheer up. I’ll be OK.
AIJ Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 Could we have picked a worse time to be going through a heartbreak? I'm so painfully bored, there's NOTHING to do. My one main gripe with my ex was the fact she was always so busy to the point where I felt like I was at the bottom of her list of priorities.. would've been interesting to see how creative she could become with her excuses as to why she hadn't texted back in 3 hours given the current situation. I'm edging closer and closer to breaking NC, rationalising these thoughts with 'what's the worst that could happen?'. I know in my heart I DO NOT want her back, she was not good for me, I spent almost every minute of every day feeling incredibly anxious just because I always felt like I was on thin ice with her. I hate this.
Realitysux Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, AIJ said: Could we have picked a worse time to be going through a heartbreak? I'm so painfully bored, there's NOTHING to do. My one main gripe with my ex was the fact she was always so busy to the point where I felt like I was at the bottom of her list of priorities.. would've been interesting to see how creative she could become with her excuses as to why she hadn't texted back in 3 hours given the current situation. I'm edging closer and closer to breaking NC, rationalising these thoughts with 'what's the worst that could happen?'. I know in my heart I DO NOT want her back, she was not good for me, I spent almost every minute of every day feeling incredibly anxious just because I always felt like I was on thin ice with her. I hate this. Don't break NC. Please don't do it. I woke up with a migraine and sick to my stomach from contact and I am right back to square 1. I am so bored and nothing is open for me to even go to pick myself back up. I'm misserable and hiding out in my room tying to entertain myself with light humor! I might be off work for 14 days and if that's the case, it's going to be extremely hard for me to get back on track. I feel so bad and I would definitely go back if I could and just never broken nc in the first place .. I can't go to any other subject here besides coping or I'm triggered. It's just a reminder for me and I begin to dwell on all my choices. I will never break NC again. Well even though I'm in touch with a mutual friend but I do enjoy talking to her. Edited March 22, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) Yes I know I'm back but the date yesterday, I mean it was a date in the corona world, left me feeling worse about myself. At first I was kind of interested. We went to light a fire and the fire pit was surrounded by his trucks and trailers so we had no room to sit around the fire. He wanted to watch Netflix and I was like well do you want to have a camp fire. He was like sure! Then I seen the fire pit and I was like you do know I was coming over here to sit around the fire! We end up going inside for the fire and I was nervous because it was my first time out with a guy in ages, because I was on line. We talked, I was bored, then we went on the couch and he put his arm around me. We cuddled for a bit and the next thing you know that guy was on top of me trying to bang me. I said this is way to soon so he got off and we talked and I said why don't we go to home Depot. Well that was the end of it! I felt drained when I got home and then I read more from this guy and tbh, today I am a mess. I never should have moved to this city of all the cities I could have went too. Edited March 22, 2020 by Realitysux Headache
Realitysux Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) I'm last on my bosses list because I'm a women and I'm new there. I feel like s***! I'm really sick of this guy telling me move on, go find someone to be their priority, I'm feeling so down. I am going to be alone forever and my thirties are almost over. If I could go back, I never would have applied for that job. I wish I could go back and just not work at that stupid office! At first, the online application wasn't working. I called them and this guy helped me send my application through. God was probably saying don't apply for that job!! Or what if I got the other one .. this is what happened and it sucks. I don't want to go to work, I want to say f u but I'm getting paid so that's what matters. Edited March 23, 2020 by Realitysux
preraph Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 Once all this virus stuff calms down, keep looking for another job while you're still employed. It's easier.
FMW Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 There seems to be more bickering within the threads than normal. I guess a lot of us are kind of crabby right now! Uncertainty and extreme change in daily life can do that I guess. 1
simpycurious Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 6 minutes ago, FMW said: There seems to be more bickering within the threads than normal. I guess a lot of us are kind of crabby right now! Uncertainty and extreme change in daily life can do that I guess. When I am out and about, I see people smiling and generally being more gracious and kind. I do believe the crisis has put THINGS in perspective for many. I love this time of year with temps in the 70s and later this week maybe the 80s. All and all, it was a GOOD day.
FMW Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 We actually had snow for a while this morning! Later I got out and walked, to breathe fresh air and move (something our local "rules" allow). I saw others out but seemed we were all intent on keeping our distance. Interactions at the grocery store this week have been mixed, but mostly it seems people are kind of twitchy and irritable. Maybe when the warmer temperatures and sun arrive things will be better!
Realitysux Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) 26 minutes ago, preraph said: Once all this virus stuff calms down, keep looking for another job while you're still employed. It's easier. I was venting. My current job is a carpenter but I'm last on my bosses list. That's because I am new and a women. I like working there. It keeps me busy and it keeps my mind off everything. This guy who recently set me up with a dating profile and logged into my email to activate it then deleted the email, he said I need to find a man that prioritizes me. He should not be giving me advice, it does not feel good! Considering my life changed so mich, I regret working at the place I met this guy and I'm not always negative but I tend to be on this forum. Edited March 23, 2020 by Realitysux 1
Realitysux Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, FMW said: We actually had snow for a while this morning! Later I got out and walked, to breathe fresh air and move (something our local "rules" allow). I saw others out but seemed we were all intent on keeping our distance. Interactions at the grocery store this week have been mixed, but mostly it seems people are kind of twitchy and irritable. Maybe when the warmer temperatures and sun arrive things will be better! I hope we can enjoy a summer without the corona virus. I live in Canada, the nice weather doesn't last long to begin with and we are loosing it to this virus! Edited March 23, 2020 by Realitysux
simpycurious Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 12 minutes ago, FMW said: We actually had snow for a while this morning! Later I got out and walked, to breathe fresh air and move (something our local "rules" allow). I saw others out but seemed we were all intent on keeping our distance. Interactions at the grocery store this week have been mixed, but mostly it seems people are kind of twitchy and irritable. Maybe when the warmer temperatures and sun arrive things will be better! That's great that you got out and about FMW. The cool air is great but it's too LATE in the year for that (for me anyway). I would be so OVER the cold by this time of the year. It's time for the water, the sun, etc..........
Realitysux Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 I've decided to go back on my medications today. You can beat if without them but it takes a lot of work, and focus, and I'm not feeling like I'm strong enough with everything going on. I woke up just depressed pushing myself out the door to go to work!
Realitysux Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) With all the contact I've had with this person, I'm trying to pick myself up too. People don't have to like you, most are to caught up in their own life to be thinking about you, but even if they don't like you, it doesn't mean you are not a likeable person. It's if you like yourself and I'm more down about myself because of my choices more then anything! I'd love to sit in bed today but I'm going to push myself out the door in less then 15 minutes to go to work! Edited March 23, 2020 by Realitysux
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