scooby-philly Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 @The Outlaw - Dude - you okay? Cause basically, that was my point...lmfao. I ignored all of the bad stuff because I though I couldn't get the good stuff anywhere else. So...that's a lesson learned for me about my worth and my wants/needs. And yeah - I'm dreading remote work for the next several weeks - not because of the social isolation per se (I am introverted). But because my company did a restructure 3 months ago and I'm on a new team and every likes to pretend like they're experts when most of them are trash and either are lazy....or work "hard" instead of "smart".
scooby-philly Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 @The Outlaw - I am completely better off. Even the little bit of me that's still depressed, sad, thinks about her - it's just because I blame myself and sugarcoated things for so long I can't look back and think about the bad stuff, especially conditioned, as I was, to not follow my own pursuits, life, etc. and to cling to people just because they said, at that moment, "yes".
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) The coronavirus is making things worse for me and making it harder for me to get past this stage! Edited March 18, 2020 by Realitysux
The Outlaw Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Yeah, if it keeps up I'll need an endless supply of alcohol. It's getting out of hand. And worse when you're more at risk. 1
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Yeah, if it keeps up I'll need an endless supply of alcohol. It's getting out of hand. And worse when you're more at risk. I really hope he's alone. After everything he's done to me, I keep thinking he's with his new girlfriend and they are keeping themselves quarantined together. I can't work out or do anything to keep my mind healthy. Its making me feel depressed! Edited March 18, 2020 by Realitysux
The Outlaw Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Easier said than done, just try to relax, man. Best thing you can do is keep a cool head with everything.
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) I m having urges to send him an email about what he did to me and how I end up all alone for a game while he didn't! I want to cry but I don't have the ability to cry over this. Just the feeling like your on the verge of crying which is worse because crying at least releases it. It's so painful! Edited March 18, 2020 by Realitysux
The Outlaw Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 I know. But IT will pass. It always does. It just takes time. Send him the email if you wish. Let it out. It’s better that way. Say what you want if you feel it will grant you release. And hang in there. 1
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: I know. But IT will pass. It always does. It just takes time. Send him the email if you wish. Let it out. It’s better that way. Say what you want if you feel it will grant you release. And hang in there. I sent it. I said "I hope you are both not quarantined with women you locked down after I end up alone because of you. You sent someone to my gym. I avoided the gym and finally went back but now it's closed. There goes my chance at sexy by summer you jerks!" And I feel worse. Edited March 18, 2020 by Realitysux
Beachead Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 5 hours ago, The Outlaw said: Feeling just a little blue today. Stay strong man. We're all together, working through our respective journeys. You have support.
The Outlaw Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 13 minutes ago, Realitysux said: I sent it. I said "I hope you are both not quarantined with women you locked down after I end up alone because of you. You sent someone to my gym. I avoided the gym and finally went back but now it's closed. There goes my chance at sexy by summer you jerks!" And I feel worse. Give yourself time. It WILL get better.
The Outlaw Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 10 minutes ago, Beachead said: Stay strong man. We're all together, working through our respective journeys. You have support. I get you. But sometimes I’m just not sure. I’m always in over my head. With everything. And feel like a fool.
Beachead Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) @The Outlaw Probably because there's this idea you have in your head of what normal is and what life should be. When you compare your life to that ideal, it doesn't match, so you blame yourself. The world (As it is for you) has made you feel that way which makes you put pressure on yourself because of that outside pressure. We need to be far more supportive and understanding of eachother as a collective, instead of being so quick to judge, quick to point fingers and blame, and quick to misunderstand others. More importantly, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections. You're just trying to live as best as you can, given all you know and all available resources at hand. There is no normal. There's infinite kinds of lifestyles and ways to live life and all of them involve struggle and suffering...but also good times as well. Go gentle on yourself. You're imperfect and that's alright. Just do right by yourself and the people you love, for you and not for anyone else. Edited March 18, 2020 by Beachead 1
scooby-philly Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 13 hours ago, Beachead said: @The Outlaw Probably because there's this idea you have in your head of what normal is and what life should be. When you compare your life to that ideal, it doesn't match, so you blame yourself. The world (As it is for you) has made you feel that way which makes you put pressure on yourself because of that outside pressure. We need to be far more supportive and understanding of eachother as a collective, instead of being so quick to judge, quick to point fingers and blame, and quick to misunderstand others. More importantly, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections. You're just trying to live as best as you can, given all you know and all available resources at hand. There is no normal. There's infinite kinds of lifestyles and ways to live life and all of them involve struggle and suffering...but also good times as well. Go gentle on yourself. You're imperfect and that's alright. Just do right by yourself and the people you love, for you and not for anyone else. Agree 100% with @Beachead - In 2 of my ltrs I've found that the women I've dated suffered in one way shape or form from holding onto some sort of "ideal". My ex-fiancee from years ago felt bad that at 33/34/35 she wasn't married and popping out kids yet. She felt unsupported by her parents with her career, educational, and other choices throughout her life and was the youngest, so she got little attention and support. And throughout our relationship she constantly expressed perceived slights because of her gender and was very bitter and angry towards organized religion because she felt slighted growing up - when in reality, and I say this having lived with her and knowing her friends and her family - she was not really facing any sort of real or heavy systematic oppression or sexism or other types of hatred because of being a woman or being agnostic. It was all in her mind as was the "ideal" lifestyle. As for my last ex, since she was so much younger and had no real dating experience previous to me, she was still waiting for "Prince Charming" and to her a great couple never "argued"...which any of us who learned what a good relationship entails, especially the hard way through failed relationships, knows that disagreements and the like happen throughout a "great" relationship. Mix that with her anger and bitterness towards her family and feeling trapped at home and her low self-esteem and her "good girl" defense mechanism, yeah - she was a hot mess and she was (and probably still is) waiting for someone to fix her life/family for her or to have it magically change all of a sudden. But as Beachie points out - so much pressure starts inside of us. None of us are perfect and happiness, contentment, peace, - those things start in our minds and hearts.
2BGoodAgain Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 perhaps it's b/c of the coronavirus event going on globally... or mebbe i'm just in a better place today... but somehow my problems don't seem that much worse compared to those who's passed away or close loved ones who are grieving of those who have passed away... at any rate, focus first on survival and then worry about all the fluffy stuff that appeared to destroy our lives just moments ago... perhaps a blessing in disguise... a temporary reprieve... from the realities and complexities and incredible depth of our sorrows... for the moment, numbed into silence by the realities of potential danger around us. I hope you all are well....
AIJ Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 It's all starting to become a bit of a struggle again. This whole social distancing/self-isolating is absolutely killing me. My routine used to be gym - uni/work - football/assignments - sleep, gym in the mornings would give me that boost to go on and comfortably make the most of the day but now I just feel lost. I have no motivation, I'm spending the days in bed watching YouTube. The thought of breaking NC is cropping up more and more but the logical part of my brain knows it isn't going to get me anywhere.
central Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) On the plus side, friends invited us out last night to celebrate closing on our new home, which has been in the works for over a year. On the downside, I am beginning to wonder if we can afford the new house given that the economy is collapsing and so are the markets that fund my retirement. And we probably can't or shouldn't get together with friends any more. Worrying won't change much - I'll just hang in and do the best I can. We have great neighbors who will help if they can, and we'll help them as well. Edited March 18, 2020 by central
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) I honestly thought I'd be depressed and venting for much longer but I'm okay today. There were a couple of moments during the day when I wasn't satisfied with myself but that's why you improve. I I think I felt relieve that China is back up and running today. It gave me hope that this is only temporary. I'm only going to work, home and the grocery store. I'm actually going to walk over to the pharmacist in my pajamas . I just got home after a ten hour work day, I had a shower, put my PJs on and I'm staying in bed and relaxing tonight! I've just been making friends with that women and leaving him out of it. Edited March 18, 2020 by Realitysux
Realitysux Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Yes this virus sucks! I made a dating profile and I posted my picture to see if I can find someone to connect with. I keep reading these sayings about how "if there is nothing to do but stay inside, expect babies in 9 months". It made me realize that's what hes doing after everything they put me through all these years and I don't want to think about him anymore! We will see what happens.
The Outlaw Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 (edited) Far better. Far less tense. Relaxed. Edited March 19, 2020 by The Outlaw 1
Realitysux Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 The guy from a few weeks back texted me. He didn't think I was interested because I didn't text him and I didn't think he was interested because he didn't text me! We are talking again. I'm not saying it will turn into anything but I'm currently talking to two men! Both successful, both nice so far. We will see how it goes!
Realitysux Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Sinful said: i wouldn't rush into anything. Take it slow. Was that for me? I already stopped talking to one and the other one, I'll prob end up cancelling. I just got approved for this salad bar I'm going to open and my new job is going well. The truth is, in this isolation I read all these sayings about having sex through the corona virus. I didn't want to sit here wasting time thinking about him while he was off doing that. I already admitted I was jealous before. I don't think being pushed into a relationship by him is going to help me much either! He told me to go and find another man and move on so I've asked him to leave me alone and stop trying to assist me. It's not rocket science. We all want it and he was writing to me too! Edited March 20, 2020 by Realitysux
Watercolors Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Went to a walk-in counseling center the other night for support about some things. And the team-lead (a licensed social worker) was really rude to me. After I shared my story, his response was, "How'd you get yourself into that mess?" Not an appropriate response for a licensed social worker. He obviously was taking his bad day out on me, i.e. kicking the dog. Really pissed me off.
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