scooby-philly Posted February 25, 2020 Posted February 25, 2020 1 minute ago, Beachead said: @scooby-philly Sorry to here that Scoobs. If the driving time pisses you off right now..then I'd bet the act of actually driving will cause you to resent her and therefore expect something in return for going out of your way, should you choose to do it. Worse, you're in a position where you shouldn't share your frustrations with her because you two just met. Being its online and the beginning, who knows how she might receive the tone. The resentment, expecting something in return, and not being able to express freely won't make for a good start. For that reason alone, I'd say, let this one go and continue searching for something that'll be more mutual. Oh yeah. Already moving on my friend. Just expressing frustration. But crazy stuff like this is expected with online dating
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 2 hours ago, scooby-philly said: No, it's not really okay for a 6.5 hour drive. I'm saying that I'd only really, ever possibly consider it if it were like someone I knew for a long time or we had met irl but even then, it wouldn't be my preference. But on top of that yes, it's about someone saying their x (or in x location) when they're really 3 (or in 3 location). The use of number/letter to show how different they are. Yea it wouldn't be ideal. But if you lived in a small town with fewer options.. If it's just a standard connection rather than a special connection that doesn't happen everyday, then maybe it would be different.
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 1 hour ago, scooby-philly said: Oh yeah. Already moving on my friend. Just expressing frustration. But crazy stuff like this is expected with online dating Scoob don't give up just keep moving forward YOU GOT THIS 1
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 33 minutes ago, simpycurious said: Scoob don't give up just keep moving forward YOU GOT THIS Thanks friend. I agree. Just a new thing I've never seen before lol. 1
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 Thanks for all of the messages today. Still feeling great. Hit a bit of wall late afternoon, but back to normal(ish). Just amazing how we all take certain things for granted. Like who would think a decent 38yr old man could have such a hard time finding a decent woman and starting a family. But...staying positive and hopeful. 1
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 @scooby-phillywhat OLD provider are you using?
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 14 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: @scooby-phillywhat OLD provider are you using? Just started using match
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 15 minutes ago, scooby-philly said: Just started using match Do you get heaps of girls from which to choose?
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 We can't just choose people, they have to choose us too. 1 1
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 9 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: Do you get heaps of girls from which to choose? Just started back up two months ago and just started really using it a month ago. There doesn't seem to be a ton of people on it, and I don't apply too many filters, lol. But again, my comments yesterday were out of sheer frustration - but I'm past it already. 9 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: We can't just choose people, they have to choose us too. I agree with you 100%. My problem has been that I stay just because they chose me in the short-term.
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 2 hours ago, scooby-philly said: I agree with you 100%. My problem has been that I stay just because they chose me in the short-term. @scooby-philly I wasn't directing the statement I made at you, lol. I've been a bit disappointed about something to do with a guy.
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 4 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: @scooby-philly I wasn't directing the statement I made at you, lol. I've been a bit disappointed about something to do with a guy. Gotcha - well, sorry to hear about your disappointment.
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 4 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: @scooby-philly I wasn't directing the statement I made at you, lol. I've been a bit disappointed about something to do with a guy. Did you voice your displeasure?
The Outlaw Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 I'm just wondering how long my 'feel good' mood will actually stick. For some reason or another, they never really seem to for very long.
MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 @simpycurious, it isn't the thing to do in this case.
MeadowFlower Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 23 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: I'm just wondering how long my 'feel good' mood will actually stick. For some reason or another, they never really seem to for very long. It can be up and down sometimes. Sometimes it's good to not focus (you might not be) on whether or not we're happy. And to not strive towards being happy. Rather, just live, just be. Do things we enjoy, but not focus on how we feel, all the time. 2
The Outlaw Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: It can be up and down sometimes. Sometimes it's good to not focus (you might not be) on whether or not we're happy. And to not strive towards being happy. Rather, just live, just be. Do things we enjoy, but not focus on how we feel, all the time. I always go on history and it just repeats itself. And it's a feeling I just can't shake.
Beachead Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) @The Outlaw I'd say forget perpetual happiness. I never knew such a thing and I don't think anyone does. As Meadow said, life is ups and downs. Good times come and we feel good and celebrate. Then they go and the bad times come but they don't last either. We cry, we feel frustrated and somehow we get through it...maybe we learn from it and carry some wisdom. Maybe some pain. Old problems are solved we gain experience and wisdom to solve them, and they are replaced by new ones. I don't think there's one person on this earth who does feel this cyclical pattern. It a universal truth or all ages, all cultures, all financial and socio-economic backgrounds. What more can we do but take everything we've learned and all the resources we have at our possession and make the best possible choices we can. Maybe find healthier ways to cope, try to better ourselves for us and for no one else, and stay balanced when the storms hit. For me, its music, workouts and morning coffee...and maybe cookies. And its alright to just lay down and just take a break from trying and just cry and vent it all out. I think that's all we can and should ask of ourself. And that's how it goes. Edited February 27, 2020 by Beachead 1
scooby-philly Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 15 hours ago, The Outlaw said: I'm just wondering how long my 'feel good' mood will actually stick. For some reason or another, they never really seem to for very long. As @Beachead said, @The Outlaw - you can't maintain "feeling good" or "happiness" perpetually. But you can maintain a state of balance where negative experiences or feelings can come and you can express them healthily, and they only last due course and then you're back to balanced and ready for a moment of happiness or joy or another positive feeling. And don't "aim" for happiness. That's what most people don't get. Do what you love. Do some things to push you out of your comfort zone. Help others a bit. And develop some long-term and some short-term goals. Do all of that plus a day job - will keep you busy and then you can look back in six, twelve, twenty-four months and be amazed at how much you've done, how much you've grown, how much you've learned, and how "happy" or content you've become. 1
The Outlaw Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 @Beachead, @scooby-philly, I get ya. And I've been beyond happy for the past few weeks and that's a first for me in years, but I'm only going with past experiences. Lightning does strike first whenever I'm around. 3
scooby-philly Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 21 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: @Beachead, @scooby-philly, I get ya. And I've been beyond happy for the past few weeks and that's a first for me in years, but I'm only going with past experiences. Lightning does strike first whenever I'm around. OH come on dude - stay positive!!!!
Beachead Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, andytuotuo said: I miss her Stay strong man. Remember what we talked about? List out her negatives and the negatives of the relationship and why it wasn't going to work out. Negative reinforcement is key with this. 2
andytuotuo Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Beachead said: Stay strong man. Remember what we talked about? List out her negatives and the negatives of the relationship and why it wasn't going to work out. Negative reinforcement is key with this. Thanks beach! Really appreciate you continuously to checking on me. I have been feeling a lot better this past few days; no more intense anxiety or depression. I just finished a shower when I was thinking about her a lot and now feel better. I can't wait to regain my confidence. Cheers,
scooby-philly Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 2 hours ago, andytuotuo said: Thanks beach! Really appreciate you continuously to checking on me. I have been feeling a lot better this past few days; no more intense anxiety or depression. I just finished a shower when I was thinking about her a lot and now feel better. I can't wait to regain my confidence. Cheers, I feel you. Just had a moment of thinking about my ex as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. I realize that I was my best self in the relationship and that while I got some affection...I deserve better and she would not be the one for the long term. 1
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