The Outlaw Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 20 hours ago, K.K. said: Why you irritated Outlaw? Hope you’re ok. @The Outlaw I can't say here, but I'm fine, don't worry. It didn't involve me but just got under my skin.
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) I'm chill but absolutely exhausted. I work myself to nearly to death and won't stop for lunch, take a break or even a breather. But luckily for me, no more of that until Monday. Edited January 31, 2020 by The Outlaw 1
K.K. Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 15 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: I'm chill but absolutely exhausted. I work myself to nearly to death and won't stop for lunch, take a break or even a breather. But luckily for me, no more of that until Monday. Nice!! A long weekend. You sound like you need that.
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 1 minute ago, K.K. said: Nice!! A long weekend. You sound like you need that. Sure do.
K.K. Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I partook of the alcohol the other day. It was fun lol.
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 Just out of curiosity, what'd you have, @K.K.? I still haven't touched any whiskey because I remember what happened the last time I did.
K.K. Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I just had beer. Lots and lots of beer. Lol. I was hungover though. Not toooo bad but still. I don’t drink liquor or whisky. Maybe vodka. But I rarely drink so I just stick with beer. Are you still on the wagon? Or just with whisky?
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I only drink when I'm feeling it, which I haven't lately. Last time I had half a BIG bottle of whiskey by myself on a Saturday night. Passed out for a bit. Had to crawl to and from the bathroom to throw up multiple times and more than once and was hungover half the next day. Good times, though. First person I told at work wondered how I was still alive after that much. What a night. 1
sothereiwas Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) I've never had a bad hangover or been so drunk I got sick. Partly genes and partly restraint I guess. Edited January 31, 2020 by sothereiwas
scooby-philly Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I've been drunk in my life. But never with the intention of getting drunk. I don't need "lubrication" to have fun, be myself, open up, or anything else. It's always been the result of just having a good time and always in a context when I didn't need to worry about being "responsible" - like driving home or to the point where I was grossly sick or what not. 1
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 It was brash stupidity on my part. I WAY overdid it.
scooby-philly Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 As for me - been a tough two days. I was broken Sept/Oct - getting better in November into mid December, hit a wall over the holidays, got better in the new year, hit another wall over MLK weekend and then got better. And now hit a smaller wall today. While her image is burned into my head, I don't think I miss her. I'm not constantly recalling things she said or did for me or stuck on anything in particular. I think it's my inner child finally being free enough (because adult me is doing so much self-car this time around) to realize that I've put my life on hold for her and in the end got nothing, I've given so much to others instead of pursuing my own wants and needs and interests, and I've been attached to people out of fear I would lose them, not because I knew I meant a lot to them. So I think it's partly just the freedom to grow and the pain of realizing how much I had to learn and how much I have to support myself and my own dreams. But learning to unleash the power that's inside of me to help get me to where I want to be in life. But self-care for tonight. 3
scooby-philly Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 Feeling so much better today. Helping others and responding to posts on here and also just talking to people - yeah - helps me so much. Still not 100% healed, but hopefully I've hit the last wall and if I haven't, I know I can deal with it. 1
2BGoodAgain Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, scooby-philly said: Feeling so much better today. Helping others and responding to posts on here and also just talking to people - yeah - helps me so much. Still not 100% healed, but hopefully I've hit the last wall and if I haven't, I know I can deal with it. don't think of it as a target... 100% healed... etc... just live your life... grow and be a better human being not b/c of her, but for yourself... and someday, you'll realize you haven't once thought about her or her impact on your life or etc...and when you realize this and actually think about her, you realize it's just a memory.. that you had to actually think to remember, and she won't even be a lesson for you to reflect on... just realizing that the lesson that you integrated into your life... was from your experience with her... at that point, i guess you could say you're 100% healed... but constantly thinking about it, is a unrealistic and self defeating goal of sorts. hang in there... you'll have more ups and down, and walls that suddenly hit you... but it'll get better each time.
scooby-philly Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 agreed - I've been so much better now than I was 3-4 months ago 1
Beachead Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 @scooby-philly The ups and downs of healing eh? I went through a break in 2015. I couldn't imagine a life without her. She left overseas for med school a couple months after we started a relationship. Didn't take long for the Long distance and the workload to end us. She dumped me broke my heart. I was devastated and angry and spent every night of everyday hoping she'd come back. It took all the energy I had to focus on my life and put her in the back of my mind. I thought I'd never stop thinking about her..that's certainly what it felt like. Well, after long while..I did. Next went through another. 4 months after me and that ex parted ways, I still had a very difficult time imagining myself ever coming to a point where I'd not think about her. Well, a day came when I forgot to think about her. I was on vacation, I was enjoying my time. I was preoccupied with the scenery, the people, the air, and making sure I got a chance to get behind the wheel of the car we took on our road trip. It only occurred to me that I hadn't thought about her in a week, after I had came home and had a chance to relax. Funny thing is, there was an ex before both of these exes. Same process. The commonality amongst all 3 experiences is what felt so miserable and excruciating at that time..eventually calmed itself down. What felt like this incredible dependance on their attention and company, released itself little by little. I had to really apply myself in the beginning to put them out of my mind and I had set backs, but time and life lived accumulated and took over the heavy lifting, and allowed me to relax more and more. It translated to better nights slept, more days smiling. The beginning of noticing other women without comparing them to my exes. Eventually, I just flat out forgot to think about them. Consequently, I found myself letting go without forcing. It was an involuntary process. Two ways to look at that is: 1. Damn Beach, you suck at relationships. All those exes. How miserable. 2. What was the end, wasn't the end. It led you to something new each time. What you gained in wisdom from the past, you brought with you into your future. Personally, I like the second outlook. - Beach 1
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 Totally exhausted from not enough sleep and I'm struggling to even stay awake and it isn't even 5 in the afternoon here yet. Other than that, I'm good.
AIJ Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Coping pretty well. Managed to get myself back on track with my University work, took me around 2/3 months after my last break up to focus on my studies again and I very nearly dropped out of college and didn't make it to University. Music has been really beneficial to take my mind off of her when my mind starts to wander again. Sleeping is slowly improving, starting to sleep most of the way through the night and I don't wake up and have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach anymore. I just get up and go about my day. Appetite has returned. I'm truly shocked how quickly I appear to be getting over this. I still miss her but I've accepted we were not right for eachother and I'd be fine with never hearing from her ever again. 1
The Outlaw Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 I've had somewhat of a 'relapse' if you will. What I touched base on last week may have helped, but everything that happened, and even things I didn't touch base on are still very much there. And with anger in my heart (or what's left of it) it's going to be hard to dismiss if that's even half-way possible. That's the price I have paid for keeping things bottled up for the past few years.
Beachead Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) @The Outlaw 2 hours ago, The Outlaw said: I've had somewhat of a 'relapse' if you will. What I touched base on last week may have helped, but everything that happened, and even things I didn't touch base on are still very much there. And with anger in my heart (or what's left of it) it's going to be hard to dismiss if that's even half-way possible. That's the price I have paid for keeping things bottled up for the past few years. Advice. I know you don't want to discuss things here but really, bottling is what brought you here as you've stated. So then continuing to bottle will continue to yield the same results. To change things, we sometimes have to do what we don't normally do. Maybe for you that's releasing this pain that's taken a hold of you. You've already seen some benefit from doing so with what you have expressed. I'd journal it out for myself or PM anyone here and talk it out. Maybe both. Edited February 1, 2020 by Beachead 1
The Outlaw Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 4 minutes ago, Beachead said: @The Outlaw Advice. I know you don't want to discuss things here but really, bottling is what brought you here as you've stated. So then continuing to bottle will continue to yield the same results. To change things, we sometimes have to do what we don't normally do. Maybe for you that's releasing this pain that's taken a hold of you. You've already seen some benefit from doing so with what you have expressed. I'd journal it out for myself or PM anyone here and talk it out. Maybe both. Already talked to scooby about it and divulged more. But this is something I'll have to work out on my own if it can even be done. I'm in too deep at this point and it really isn't good at times.
MeadowFlower Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 To my future husband, You can stop with the shenanigans and make yourself known. I'm not getting any younger. And Valentine's day is nearly here, so ya know..present. Yours impatiently (but still awesome), Meadow 2
scooby-philly Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 On 1/31/2020 at 4:40 PM, The Outlaw said: Any progress is better than none, scooby. Agreed! I'm actually even better now (except feeling sluggish from two nights of drinking for a friends' b-day!) then I have in a long while. I know the pain still lingers waiting for a hole to open up - but that's okay. The pain really isn't about the ex - it's about me - my foolishness, my wasted energy, time, and money - my loneliness (meaning spending so many years not doing things because no one wanted to do them with me) On 1/31/2020 at 5:22 PM, Beachead said: @scooby-philly The ups and downs of healing eh? I went through a break in 2015. I couldn't imagine a life without her. She left overseas for med school a couple months after we started a relationship. Didn't take long for the Long distance and the workload to end us. She dumped me broke my heart. I was devastated and angry and spent every night of everyday hoping she'd come back. It took all the energy I had to focus on my life and put her in the back of my mind. I thought I'd never stop thinking about her..that's certainly what it felt like. Well, after long while..I did. Next went through another. 4 months after me and that ex parted ways, I still had a very difficult time imagining myself ever coming to a point where I'd not think about her. Well, a day came when I forgot to think about her. I was on vacation, I was enjoying my time. I was preoccupied with the scenery, the people, the air, and making sure I got a chance to get behind the wheel of the car we took on our road trip. It only occurred to me that I hadn't thought about her in a week, after I had came home and had a chance to relax. Funny thing is, there was an ex before both of these exes. Same process. The commonality amongst all 3 experiences is what felt so miserable and excruciating at that time..eventually calmed itself down. What felt like this incredible dependance on their attention and company, released itself little by little. I had to really apply myself in the beginning to put them out of my mind and I had set backs, but time and life lived accumulated and took over the heavy lifting, and allowed me to relax more and more. It translated to better nights slept, more days smiling. The beginning of noticing other women without comparing them to my exes. Eventually, I just flat out forgot to think about them. Consequently, I found myself letting go without forcing. It was an involuntary process. Two ways to look at that is: 1. Damn Beach, you suck at relationships. All those exes. How miserable. 2. What was the end, wasn't the end. It led you to something new each time. What you gained in wisdom from the past, you brought with you into your future. Personally, I like the second outlook. - Beach Beach - we've had plenty of private discussion. I totally agree with you and I don't think like #1 at all. I don't suck at relationships, I suck at picking the wrong woman or at least staying in relationships where it was clear that she was either 1. just wrong for me 2. crazy 3. too young, inexperienced, and immature. So - yeah, I'm 38, I have a good career, I founded and run a successful non-profit on the side, I'm blessed with some really good people in my life, I'm young and I'm relatively healthy. No complaints from me dude. 1
The Outlaw Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 I'm chhhhiiiiiillllllll. But I don't want to go to work tomorrow. That is all. 1 1
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