JDPT Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I started conversation with a girl who frequents the local starbucks. I've seen her plenty of times but never found the need to start conversation. She usually comes with her mother, so I started to work on the mother while she was outside and transitioned into talking to her. Conversation went well but I'm not excited about it at all, neither do I expect it to go anywhere next time I see her, it was just conversation but at least gets me to interact with society a little.
AnyaNova Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I started conversation with a girl who frequents the local starbucks. I've seen her plenty of times but never found the need to start conversation. She usually comes with her mother, so I started to work on the mother while she was outside and transitioned into talking to her. Conversation went well but I'm not excited about it at all, neither do I expect it to go anywhere next time I see her, it was just conversation but at least gets me to interact with society a little. Good for you. Its a step! Umm....oops. Can I rephrase that please? But seriously, it is good. Now see, if you weren't in NYC (what is it with you NY dudes? You guys seem so awesome, except for the whole, being in NY thing!) and really far away, I'd be totally interested in meeting you and getting to know you in person. Oh well. It is good though, to have people somewhere in the world, wherever that is who are about in the same place as you when it comes to recovering from this stuff! Keep up the great work. 1
start2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 hi....she broke up with me 05.02.2014....and last time i heard her is from yesterday 07.02.2014..from 13.30...because she called, and asked me if i know any policemen...since her uncle (which is demented) is dissapeared...after that call...2 hours later she sent me a sms...that they found him....and after that we havent heard each other.... when we broke up..she said we are not right for each other...and that it is over forever and that she made good decision....i accepted it...and said that i am not happy that she decided this way...but that i will accept it if she thinks that way...i way NC for 2 day...and than she called about her uncles....but i was stalking her on facebook...to se whether she blocked me...but i am sick of thinking about what is she doing, will she write about me, and what is going in her life......this thinking about her...reaaaaaally hurts....so i deciede today 08.02.2014 from 20.00h that i will stop watching her on facebook....yeah its only 3 hours....and i hope i will stay strong and never look her facebook...and never write her or call her....just hope to stay strong...
AnyaNova Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Crashing today again. But this time my lips are staying really full and pinker than they have been. I think it is just going to take a while to catch up from the damage caused by the places that were diluting the B vitamins. I still got some good homework done and practice for one of my applications coming up (guitar). I am going to experiment tonight with not supplementing and seeing if I can still sing and practice even when crashing. That would actually be good news to have, if I could. Why does my assessment of my love life or lack thereof always get way worse when I'm low? Oh well. I am making the best of this and doing everything I can tooth and claw through all this. 1
JDPT Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Good for you. Its a step! Umm....oops. Can I rephrase that please? But seriously, it is good. Now see, if you weren't in NYC (what is it with you NY dudes? You guys seem so awesome, except for the whole, being in NY thing!) and really far away, I'd be totally interested in meeting you and getting to know you in person. Oh well. It is good though, to have people somewhere in the world, wherever that is who are about in the same place as you when it comes to recovering from this stuff! Keep up the great work. You know, I thought of something a few months ago when I reached a whole new level of agony, or at least I thought I did. I formulated the concept of Heart Broken Anonymous, HBA. A place specifically tailored to those who have had their lives wringed with no impunity, stumped on, and shattered. A place where we can all resonate with the at times unbearable pain we were forced to endure. Somewhere were we can all share our experiences and learn from each other with many chapters all over the world, with the paramount objective of building a network where we can all support each other in times of distress. I personally believe that the motions of going through a break up are utterly neglected. And that there should be more support groups out there for those going through difficult times in life with regards to experiencing a loss of this magnitude. It sounds ideal and perhaps feasible in theory. I suppose it'll be a matter of formulating a plan and vigorously executing it. Or maybe it's just meant to remain in the wishful thinking department lol. I thought you were around my neck of the woods since you mentioned the inclement weather we folks in the northern region have been enjoying this winter. It would be awesome to meet you as well. It would be like meeting someone who knows exactly where you come from and can certainly resonate with the pain and won't get bored with the endless stories about the exes. Actually, one of the members from the UK is planning on coming to the states some time in March. I hope to get together with him, it should be fun. And yes it's a step indeed! towards healing and paving a better life for us. Go team.
AnyaNova Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 You know, I thought of something a few months ago when I reached a whole new level of agony, or at least I thought I did. I formulated the concept of Heart Broken Anonymous, HBA. A place specifically tailored to those who have had their lives wringed with no impunity, stumped on, and shattered. A place where we can all resonate with the at times unbearable pain we were forced to endure. Somewhere were we can all share our experiences and learn from each other with many chapters all over the world, with the paramount objective of building a network where we can all support each other in times of distress. I personally believe that the motions of going through a break up are utterly neglected. And that there should be more support groups out there for those going through difficult times in life with regards to experiencing a loss of this magnitude. It sounds ideal and perhaps feasible in theory. I suppose it'll be a matter of formulating a plan and vigorously executing it. Or maybe it's just meant to remain in the wishful thinking department lol. I thought you were around my neck of the woods since you mentioned the inclement weather we folks in the northern region have been enjoying this winter. It would be awesome to meet you as well. It would be like meeting someone who knows exactly where you come from and can certainly resonate with the pain and won't get bored with the endless stories about the exes. Actually, one of the members from the UK is planning on coming to the states some time in March. I hope to get together with him, it should be fun. And yes it's a step indeed! towards healing and paving a better life for us. Go team. That is a majorly fantastic idea. I'm not sure how you would even begin to implement it, but it is wonderful. I'm in the midwest. We got hit pretty badly too. I think our area got about 13 inches. It would be really awesome to meet! That is awesome that you and he are meeting up. It sounds fun. Tonight I am really starting to crash badly. I am supplementing as little as possible for the next couple of days, because before my next shot, I need to get my levels tested and be sure that I'm not toxic or anything before my doctor will write the next script for more shots. I fought the crash all day and got some really good work done. But now it is time to give in. It is just amazing to me how I can go from a hypercapable woman who can organize and carry off an entire research project, paper, and poster in a number of days...to a mess sitting on the couch paralyzed by trying to figure out what to do for dinner since I'm nearly out of decently healthy food (sorry gym and trainer, deficiency wins this one, I'm getting delivery). I think after dinner I will curl up with my music and sink into the stupid depression. At least I know that I'm not alone. That other people have had a long haul with b vitamin deficiency as well. I just hope it is over soon. And I'm telling the world and God right now, that once I am completely better there had better be all kinds of sunny days and time for me to go enjoy them to the fullest. Even if it is just sitting in the park with my laptop doing my schoolwork! So if we're a team, what are we called? TiBiallyDeficient? 1
brokeNlost Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Having trouble coping today, can't get "them" (my ex and her new bf) out of my head. I thought I have passed this stage already but these stupid feelings keep creeping up on me
JDPT Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 That is a majorly fantastic idea. I'm not sure how you would even begin to implement it, but it is wonderful. I'm in the midwest. We got hit pretty badly too. I think our area got about 13 inches. It would be really awesome to meet! That is awesome that you and he are meeting up. It sounds fun. Tonight I am really starting to crash badly. I am supplementing as little as possible for the next couple of days, because before my next shot, I need to get my levels tested and be sure that I'm not toxic or anything before my doctor will write the next script for more shots. I fought the crash all day and got some really good work done. But now it is time to give in. It is just amazing to me how I can go from a hypercapable woman who can organize and carry off an entire research project, paper, and poster in a number of days...to a mess sitting on the couch paralyzed by trying to figure out what to do for dinner since I'm nearly out of decently healthy food (sorry gym and trainer, deficiency wins this one, I'm getting delivery). I think after dinner I will curl up with my music and sink into the stupid depression. At least I know that I'm not alone. That other people have had a long haul with b vitamin deficiency as well. I just hope it is over soon. And I'm telling the world and God right now, that once I am completely better there had better be all kinds of sunny days and time for me to go enjoy them to the fullest. Even if it is just sitting in the park with my laptop doing my schoolwork! So if we're a team, what are we called? TiBiallyDeficient? I would really need to do some research in order to sort out logistics. I would have to formulate a business plan without the for profit element of course. We are here for each other, expecting nothing in return but our mutual objective, which is to heal emotionally. And we will not allow this emotionally devastating blow to shatter our dreams and goals. We will prove to ourselves that we did manage to succeeded regardless of so much opposition. And life does go on. Good idea on getting checked out, I've actually been meaning to suggest that to ensure everything is within range, but you have it covered. Every time I get blood work done everything comes back spot on where it should be, then why do I have a deficiency fracture if I'm so on point? And yes the Midwest gets severely hit as we do, so in that regard we know how inconvenient snow can be at times, except perhaps when we were kids and school canceled. Curling up with your music and perhaps the kitty sounds good, minus the depression. I've had my moments today where I had to talk to myself several times, rerouting my thoughts and keeping busy reading articles to lift the spirits. I need to catch those thoughts as soon as they start to formulate and eradicate them from the root. I rushed the refrigerator as soon as I got home a little while ago. The multitasking that took place was epic since I didn't eat anything all day except for my joint juice and vitamin D/calcium pill I had for breakfast. Cup of no fat milk in the microwave, mixing chobani yogurt with a packet of splenda and chopped almonds, taking sips of glucosamine juice, while heating up the pot to have one cup of bone broth, I really don't think it can get any healthier than this. I'm confident my bones will appreciate all this nurturing, talk about calcium and protein overload. I'm now relaxing watching The Pursuit of Happiness, and we thought we had it bad lol. So I'm thinking maybe when I fully heal we can coordinate to meet. Reminds me of the movie I Am Legend when Dr. Neville finds Anna, another survivor in NYC trying to stay alive. Well, we are survivors, never giving up. Team TBD, I like that, can also stand for To Be Determined. Overall it was a good day, I was literally a Starbucks all day, lost count of how many cups of coffee I had. A nice man insisted in buying me coffee as a sign of gratitude for teaching him how to pronounce certain words, he was teaching himself English. I have to be thankful for today. Thank you. 1
JDPT Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Having trouble coping today, can't get "them" (my ex and her new bf) out of my head. I thought I have passed this stage already but these stupid feelings keep creeping up on me Reroute your thoughts and be strong, what your ex does and who she is with is utterly irrelevant at this point. Focus on taking care of you as you are all that matter from this point forward. 1
TrappedWanderer Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Not having a good night. I am wanting...trying...so much to start to move forward. But he took everything away from me. The superficial things-apartment, furniture, city where I had a life and job possibilities-but so much more, my support system. And now I'm stuck, financially, emotionally, physically. And I'm SO mad. But that just turns to sadness. Because I'm the one that took a leap of faith and trusted and loved, and I feel like I'm paying for making a BIG mistake in who I chose to give that to. I want to move forward, I want this to be a good life lesson...a character builder....but right now, tonight....I miss him. I miss the life he had promised me. I know, I *know*, that life would never have really happened, he wasn't honest or strong enough to fulfill the promises he made, but man, I was and I wanted it SO badly. And now, sitting here in my childhood bedroom, spending my days alone job-searching endlessly, it's REALLY hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I miss being the exciting, adventurous, sweet girl that I was before. I miss life, I miss really living. And, though I shouldn't, I miss him...at least the person I thought he was. I miss sharing my life with someone...we had that so fleetingly....I miss feeling whole and planning a shared future. I miss it all.
Blizeow Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Not. Coping. At. All. Not even close. I feel your heartbreak. You're not alone- same boat here. A big hug from me to you.
Xemyd Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'd really love for these dreams to stop. I feel like he's haunting me.
bubblesbursted Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I feel I am starting to heal. I am better than I was 2 weeks ago. 2
JDPT Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 I'd really love for these dreams to stop. I feel like he's haunting me. I actually had a weird dream last night, luckily the ex wasn't involved. I appeared to be somewhere in Miami at a very fancy lounge having a drink with a girl who everyone kept mistaking her for either a model or a star. I just recall feeling the little bit of excitement of having someone new in my life who was also into me as much as I was into her. However, I also simultaneously acknowledge the fact that there might be an end to that and of course that's when I woke up. 1
AnyaNova Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Ugghhhh!!! Seriously crashing badly. I managed to finish the prezi for class. Still have to write a short paper for another but I'm going to take a break. It is really depressing because the presentation is on various structures of the brain. And the chapters have descriptions of what happens to each section and the effects when something is wrong with it. So far, when B vitamin deficient I have noticed nearly all of the effects listed from each part of the brain we are presenting on. It is depressing.
AnyaNova Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Kicking some serious butt today! (forgive the bluntness and crudity, it seems to be all my brain is capable of today. ). Despite a major crash and severely limiting the supplementation, I still got a paper done, an application written, a prezi done, an assigned personality assessment, and something else that I have finished but can't remember right now because my brain is suffocating (or it feels like it anyway. ). Now, I am going to go curl up with some music, my kitty, and just, you know, die. Not really, of course. A long term B vitamin deficiency is a hell that I would not wish upon anybody. And even when you know about it, the recovery takes a ton of time and is pretty hellacious too, in its own way, because you have these times right after your shots, where you feel fantastic, and you are reminded of what you are missing out on when they wear off. And apologies JDPT, I will respond to your longer EDIT: response, not email (fun with deficiency and language), unfortunately right now my reading comprehension which normally is fantastic, is at an all time low. 3
AnyaNova Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Sorry guys to post so much today. I have been sitting for the past hour or so in my completely dark bedroom. Still have all the nasty symptoms, but with some time to destress after all the work, I do feel a little better. 2
JDPT Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Kicking some serious butt today! (forgive the bluntness and crudity, it seems to be all my brain is capable of today. ). Despite a major crash and severely limiting the supplementation, I still got a paper done, an application written, a prezi done, an assigned personality assessment, and something else that I have finished but can't remember right now because my brain is suffocating (or it feels like it anyway. ). Now, I am going to go curl up with some music, my kitty, and just, you know, die. Not really, of course. A long term B vitamin deficiency is a hell that I would not wish upon anybody. And even when you know about it, the recovery takes a ton of time and is pretty hellacious too, in its own way, because you have these times right after your shots, where you feel fantastic, and you are reminded of what you are missing out on when they wear off. And apologies JDPT, I will respond to your longer EDIT: response, not email (fun with deficiency and language), unfortunately right now my reading comprehension which normally is fantastic, is at an all time low. Wow, day flew by so fast today. I had delicious kosher Indian food and managed to bite into a jalapeno, of course. It's good to push yourself to the limit knowing that eventually well deserved down time is due. Luckily you managed to get a lot done. Reminds me of a class I took, we had to learn about the four lobes, hemispheres, broca's area, wernicki's area, corpus callosum, and diagnosing certain speech impediments, that's all I can remember for now. At times I feel like trying a B super shots just to know how it feels. Sometimes you just need to walk away, clear your head and do absolutely nothing in order to come back with new ideas and implement creativity.
kart180 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Pretty good but the week flies by so quick. 1
iouaname Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 kind of sad tonight I've been doing a good job of keeping busy, but sometimes I guess I get sad or feel 'weird' about being truly over him. I've also been talking to someone really nice the past few days, but I'm worried the insecurities from my ex are going to keep me from truly giving this guy a chance. Maybe I'm intentionally trying to push him away?
freebird31 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 My heart knows my ex still cares for me. It's a feeling that won't go away. I know my exs feelings for me have not faded, I know. It's unexplainable how I know. But I do. But even knowing this, I still ask myself what I need to do. I have asked God to give me some sort of sign, to help me to show me what direction I need to go. If it is to move on, I will and I won't ever look back. Or if it's to wait it out and remain patient ? Maybe God is trying to teach me what patience is. To wait for the right time for another chance for me and my ex. And even though I know if we get back together, It is true we might not end up being each others soul mate. We might now last many years it get that serious. But at least the next time that we are together, things can end differently. We will have had the chance to live out the relationship properly and end it properly. Things don't feel like they're over. I'm still waiting for God to give me a sign...to show me what I need to do. Whatever it is, whether it is to wait or to move on and forget my ex, I can do it. I can do either . I still have great feelings for my ex I dream of him all the time. I miss him. I want him back. But if it that is not the path, I won't go against what is meant to be. So, I am just waiting:/ for some sort of sign...maybe I need to pray harder.
Moe96 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Full NC for 3 weeks broke up 3 months ago, today I find out she was at another guys house. Felt devastated. Yesterday was her birthday too. Feel devastated. Felt like all the healing I've been doing went down the drain. Now I'm just thinking about her. Coping went from improving on myself to self pity.
RDawg Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 Feeling a bit weird today. I had sex this weekend with a friend of a friend. It's been four months since I got dumped. This girl took pity on me and joked about giving me a mercy porking. She slept over on the sofa Saturday night and on Sunday morning she climbed into my bed and gave herself to me. I really didn't see that one coming. It was fun. And I actually don't feel guilty like I thought I would, but don't really know what to think about it.
uku383 Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 My wife left me four months ago and I want us back. At the end of last week we met with a financial planner. My wife had briefed them about separating assets. I sat through the entire meeting, hardly saying a word, feeling as though I was going to vomit. After the meeting I asked my wife when she stopped loving me. She said just before our son was born. He's now four and a half. That means that for all of those years she's been either pretending or trying to fix things by herself. We moved house in that time, and tried repeatedly for another baby. All the time she didn't love me! Doesn't sound like there's much hope. I'm feeling gutted right now. I've been trying to get a job (was laid off mid last year) but I'm writing crap applications - it's just so difficult to get motivated about anything. I really need to turn this around, but it's so hard. I'm hurting so much and I miss my family terribly.
Author Riou Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Coping fine and moving forward in life. 1
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