How are you coping today?

[Jsos91]

I feel like Im backtracking... I've dealt with little phases where she pops into my head a lot but right now its bringing this hopeless feeling along with it. I don't know if its because its been so long now that I just feel ridiculous and without an outlet. I think my friends and family would have a fit if they knew I still thought about her often but not talking about it with anyone might be making it worse as well. Its strange because I feel like she pops into my head everyday, even if only briefly, she's still there and I just don't know what to do to stop it anymore. I feel a bit angry about it all because I was making real progress and I hadn't heard from her in 7 months and then she popped back up again a few times. I was kicking myself for a while for not blocking her but it was 7 months without contact, I truly thought she was gone. At this point, little things bother me.. I was in a coffee shop a couple days ago and a song we listened to on a nice Sunday drive together came on and I just got this sinking feeling... I just never thought another human being could have such a tight grip on me and it makes me want to never experience that kind of love again, its just too hard and too painful to lose. I feel so damn stuck right now.

[Beachead]

Do you think perhaps that people act upon emotion when it comes to relationships. Like they are all enthused at the beginning because of how they FEEL.

 

Also, maybe relationships are sometimes held together by how someone feels, rather than love and commitment.

 

Yes I do.

 

People like that may get into a relationship to escape from the problems of something else. Maybe to escape their insecurities or the pain they feel from another breakup. Maybe it's because their bored, or using relationships as a sole means to avoid being alone. All of which are the wrong reasons because it comes from a place of taking derived from not being at peace with themselves or their life.

 

As a result, people like this end up using the other person as a means to complete them. It's similar to taking some kind of painkiller to quiet the pain down. Eventually the medication wears off and they need to get more of the same dose. Time goes on, the dose does less and less so they start increasing their demand and take more. The other person keeps on giving more and more but it is returned with less appreciation and less love until it does nothing. These people unknowingly become takers because of the lack of love they have in themselves. They either burn their partners out to the point where their partners get tired and leave or they themselves lose attraction and love for their partner and leave when the relationship doesn't give them the fix they need.

 

Alone time to face our demons, fears, and hear ourself think and be free from outside influence leads to self-development. The more you face yourself, the more you learn about yourself, and the better you'll be at choosing what you want and don't want in your life in all categories (Career, School, Relationships etc.) When we're able to do that, I feel we'll start accomplishing more meaningful things for ourself, building our spirit and our life up with our two hands. We coincidently learn we are capable. We become confident in ourself. Proud. Even if bad days rain down on us, and we fail and make mistakes..it'll be all in line with what we want to be doing. I think that'll bring us to a certain level of peace and happiness. We'll meet more people who share in our path and our interests. We'll learn from them. They'll learn from us. We'll realize that there are better people out there for us who care and support. Perhaps it may give rise to a relationship..perhaps not. If it does happen, I'm willing to bet that person will be far more closer to what we want then what we ever got in our past because we know ourself. But even we have no relationship, we can deal with it because we're not chasing love and relationships for the sake of having it and being in it.

 

Someone who has found peace in themselves and their life will likely get into a relationship because they want to share what they've learned and attained with someone else that they care about. They come from a place of compassion, forgiveness, understanding, kindness, generousity and they will likely have no issues giving 80% for a long time even if the other person only has the capacity to give 40% back. It's because they have excess love to give and that excess love keeps them balanced during the tough times in the relationship. But one person can't be like that. It has to be both.

 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who are knowingly and unknowingly takers. In my opinion, that is why a lot of these shorter relationships end up happening.

 

People used to tell me this stuff all the time back when I was 20 and I rolled my eyes. "Yea whatever.." I thought. I went out and lived life my way and time and time again I kept discovering the same issues. But those people who lived and breathed these ideas maintained an emotional balance. Accomplished a lot more. I get it now. Now I'm the person preaching it.

 

- Beach

Edited July 14, 2018 by Beachead

[Realitysux]

I am loving my username right now. I feel awful. I make plans but they never turn out. There are always so many obstacles but I guess that's life. I noticed when I am happy and things are going well, I could care less and feel very content being single. When I think of dating at this point, it seems exhausting. Having said that, I have a male friend I am prusuing. I'm not trying to date him but I am trying to build a friendship with him. To stay on topic, when things aren't going well, then I feel the sting of the last one and find myself realizing how happily he moved on and assume this person doesn't have troubles. Every so often I have these flash backs but they haven't happened. I can see him clearly smiling, flirting, and with someone else. Is that normal? I have a therapist but I don't know how to even bring this up so I thought it would help to talk to you all a bit first. Is anyone listening? Is this anger or unresolved feelings of resentment given the way he treated me. I guess I feel defeated. Any thoughts?

[Beachead]

I am loving my username right now. I feel awful. I make plans but they never turn out. There are always so many obstacles but I guess that's life. I noticed when I am happy and things are going well, I could care less and feel very content being single. When I think of dating at this point, it seems exhausting. Having said that, I have a male friend I am prusuing. I'm not trying to date him but I am trying to build a friendship with him. To stay on topic, when things aren't going well, then I feel the sting of the last one and find myself realizing how happily he moved on and assume this person doesn't have troubles. Every so often I have these flash backs but they haven't happened. I can see him clearly smiling, flirting, and with someone else. Is that normal? I have a therapist but I don't know how to even bring this up so I thought it would help to talk to you all a bit first. Is anyone listening? Is this anger or unresolved feelings of resentment given the way he treated me. I guess I feel defeated. Any thoughts?

 

I'm listening.

 

How long as it been since your breakup?

 

It sounds like you've healed to a certain degree if you can have good days where you enjoy being single but there is some damage from the relationship/break-up, that your heart and mind are working on still. The feeling of exhaustion from dating and the flashes you are having suggest this.

 

I would stay cautious around people I have feelings for or hope to have something with, at this time. You have expectations on the down low with this guy, which means you're already thinking about being with him. It may or may not work out so there's risk. Given your current state of mind, you may want to honestly ask yourself, if you have the strength to handle something not working out.

 

- Beach

Edited July 15, 2018 by Beachead

[Realitysux]

@ Beached,

 

Thank you for your response. You are bang on!!! I think I'm even struggling that my current plan for life in general isn't working and that I have to alter things a bit. I don't think I've completely healed from the "break up" that happened last year. I was going through a lot and he was quite mean about it. He pretty much told me I had become an ugly fat pathetic looser and his exact words were that I was his last choice on earth. I was trying to sort through my problems and he told me that it would take me to have these problems in the first place. I've since then, built my confidence back up, but that was hard to hear. The guys not for me but I guess I have some work to do to get to indifference.

[Beachead]

@ Beached,

 

Thank you for your response. You are bang on!!! I think I'm even struggling that my current plan for life in general isn't working and that I have to alter things a bit. I don't think I've completely healed from the "break up" that happened last year. I was going through a lot and he was quite mean about it. He pretty much told me I had become an ugly fat pathetic looser and his exact words were that I was his last choice on earth. I was trying to sort through my problems and he told me that it would take me to have these problems in the first place. I've since then, built my confidence back up, but that was hard to hear. The guys not for me but I guess I have some work to do to get to indifference.

 

Well good riddens then though I can certainly understand that it's hard let go of people we cared about. Like you, I still feel pain for my own situations.

 

If you feel disconnected with your general life plan, you'll likely rely a lot more on relationships/friendships and people to fill in those unhappy gaps. Try to take your pain and anger and use it to map out one that is truer to you and then go after it.

 

What helped me was alone time and a lot of journaling. We're constantly bombarded by other people and their ideas and having to work and hold up a busy life in this day and age means we can barely find the time to be alone. Alone time is important. I'm not talking about a week off. I'm talking about months off.

 

Seeking solitude meant I could hear my own voice again as well as my own thoughts after a period of time. I started to journal them out. It was about anything I wanted to talk about. Career which involved education and moving away. How I felt about society. How I felt about myself. What I was grateful for. All the things I had accomplished and wanted to accomplish. The kinds of people and personalities I admired and didn't admire. Who I was and what kind of person I wanted to be and the sacrfices I might have to make today in order to be that person tomorrow. Writing helped me see what was in my head and I made a lot of healthy decisions for myself from it.

 

Started to build a plan. It was a slow process which didn't happen overnight. It took years and years for me to become disciplined. I would imagine someone interviewing me and asking me what my plans were in life and what I have accomplished and I would practicing responding out loud. I'd also practice responding to personal criticisms my brain was so good at creating because of my lack of confidence at the time. Sounds like madness but trust me, it helped me focus. That plan is burned into my head now because I have spent so many years constantly writing it down and talking about it.

 

Yes, I do get weak and I do feel pain over the people I once cared for and loved but it's the plan that gets me out of the slump. I automatically return to it like a reflex and go back to work. It is a guide, a medium to channel all my pain into, a blueprint/outline for my life and I can always make edits as I carry on.

 

It's completely tied to love, partners, happiness, coping and everything. If you are living a life that is closer to your heart, you'll likely be far more at peace. You'll emanate this. People are attracted to these things, and because you're doing you, it'll likely be more suitable people for you. But that should never be your sole focus. Even though you want to be loved and accepted, everything you do has to be for you. Many people never learn how to do that. Hell, it took me all my life.

 

Sorry for the long response. Hope it provides some merit.

 

- Beach

Edited July 15, 2018 by Beachead

[Realitysux]

No need to apologize, I love your response. In fact, I am one of the many people who love reading all of your responses. It sounds like you have done a lot of work. I'm maybe a quarter into where you are. I've gone back to school. I tried as an in class student, but found it hard to be at school, at work, and attend to life. I chose to be an online student and I am chipping away at it. I have goals career wise, house wise, and I would like a cottage but not much further then that. I do have a lot of work to do.

[Beachead]

No need to apologize, I love your response. In fact, I am one of the many people who love reading all of your responses. It sounds like you have done a lot of work. I'm maybe a quarter into where you are. I've gone back to school. I tried as an in class student, but found it hard to be at school, at work, and attend to life. I chose to be an online student and I am chipping away at it. I have goals career wise, house wise, and I would like a cottage but not much further then that. I do have a lot of work to do.

 

I appreciate that.

 

Good thing here is you got goals, you're open minded, and through your setbacks, you have been figuring out what you don't want as well as what you do. It's all growth and wisdom.

 

Regarding most categories in life apart from things that are out of our control such as a loved one dying or health problems, failure to me is like opportunity wrapped up in a ball of sh*t. We have to train ourself to notice it shining through but once we do..what a skill to possess. I know it doesn't mean problems will go away or hurt any less but it will certainly mean you will be far better at taking care of yourself when the tough times do come.

 

Why is this important? Problems will always be there in life. So when we learn how to extract wisdom/knowledge from our adversity each and everytime imagine how much we'll grow. It's a life changer.

 

- Beach

Edited July 16, 2018 by Beachead

[JP92]

I'm annoyed and feeling a little hurt.

 

Maybe this isn't the appropriate place to post this but would like some feedback. I got fed another breadcrumb today and I am sick of it. I would like to reply and tell her to leave me alone forever as she continues to prolong my healing process but I am also thinking I should just continue to ignore her.

 

If anyone has followed my story, I blocked her cell phone # and she contacted me through her friend's #, she contacted me on a gaming app, and she had another friend send me her social networking site that I didn't know existed. The last part hurt me the most because I caved and checked up on her posts and I was moving on just fine when I thought she didn't have any social networking site. Just seeing her photos and her happiness set me back a lot. As reminder, she dumped me via text message out of the blue just hours after we spent time together and was pretty mean about it. It was a total blindside and left me tremendously hurt.

 

She has never once shown 1% interest in ever getting back with me but she seems hell bent on easing her guilt/having me as that 2nd option if all her future relationships fail. Either way, I get hurt more and never fully heal.

 

How can I get her to stop? Ignoring hasn't helped.

 

It was a simple meme sent to my email....while that's harmless on paper, I know I am the type of sucker to over-analyze breadcrumbs only to get hurt more in the future. I can't just change my email and it's so easy to create new email accounts no matter how many of them I block. It all needs to stop all together since she isn't remotely interested in getting back together.

 

This woman has hurt me enough. I wish I had never met her.

[Beachead]

I'm annoyed and feeling a little hurt.

 

Maybe this isn't the appropriate place to post this but would like some feedback. I got fed another breadcrumb today and I am sick of it. I would like to reply and tell her to leave me alone forever as she continues to prolong my healing process but I am also thinking I should just continue to ignore her.

 

If anyone has followed my story, I blocked her cell phone # and she contacted me through her friend's #, she contacted me on a gaming app, and she had another friend send me her social networking site that I didn't know existed. The last part hurt me the most because I caved and checked up on her posts and I was moving on just fine when I thought she didn't have any social networking site. Just seeing her photos and her happiness set me back a lot. As reminder, she dumped me via text message out of the blue just hours after we spent time together and was pretty mean about it. It was a total blindside and left me tremendously hurt.

 

She has never once shown 1% interest in ever getting back with me but she seems hell bent on easing her guilt/having me as that 2nd option if all her future relationships fail. Either way, I get hurt more and never fully heal.

 

How can I get her to stop? Ignoring hasn't helped.

 

It was a simple meme sent to my email....while that's harmless on paper, I know I am the type of sucker to over-analyze breadcrumbs only to get hurt more in the future. I can't just change my email and it's so easy to create new email accounts no matter how many of them I block. It all needs to stop all together since she isn't remotely interested in getting back together.

 

This woman has hurt me enough. I wish I had never met her.

 

Keep ignoring her. Those breadcrumbs will stop but expect it for little while longer and know that they are insincere. Just an attempt to bait you into engaging with her so that she can satisfy whatever it is she's looking for. She'll leave you in the dust again, feeling worse, should you respond. She's already shown how little she cares about you thinking you'll come running back because of a meaningless message. Right now, you know you did everything you were supposed to. Let her stew.

 

- Beach

Edited July 16, 2018 by Beachead

[OngoingThoughts]

So after weeks of stringing me along, we finally initiated NC for the summer. First day she broke it by texting she did still love me. I didn't reply. The second day she suddenly used social media again (even though she hates posting) to show me she's doing something I had planned for her a while ago. It hurt so I muted her on the social media so I won't see the updates on my feed. But I honestly don't understand what she's trying to do anymore since she is the one that broke up with me.

Edited July 16, 2018 by OngoingThoughts

[Mac0908]

Had my best friends wedding last night. Amazing time. As confident as I am and as well as I've been doing, at 33, going to another wedding solo just isn't an easy task. Still, it was fun. I even had a friend (girl) that was cool enough to slow dance with me at a few points.

 

When we were dating all those months ago, I'll admit I had visions of my ex ending up as my date to this day. This was the very last wedding out of my main circle of friends' weddings, and seeing as how I ended up going solo to every other one over the years made bringing a date here sort of a "goal" of mine for a while. But even with all those thoughts throughout this year, the reality is, I didn't even think of the ex at all throughout this wedding. Just another great sign that proves to me I really am over her. It's more just seeing everyone else at my table and on the dance floor with a significant other and wanting that relationship more than it has anything to do with her anymore. Funny moment came when the photographer asked me if a random girl in front of me was my gf and I laughingly said no, yet in the back of my mind and in my heart I ached.

 

Of course I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be sweet validation if she came back to me begging for some kind of second chance. I'd never give it to her but it's just something I guess I subconsciously crave. The craving to also restore the dignity I lost all those months ago after how I acted after the blow off. But I know that's not happening and I know I have to continue moving forward. Staying afloat so to speak until someone comes into my life that I deserve.

Edited July 16, 2018 by Mac0908

[Beachead]

Had my best friends wedding last night. Amazing time. As confident as I am and as well as I've been doing, at 33, going to another wedding solo just isn't an easy task. Still, it was fun. I even had a friend (girl) that was cool enough to slow dance with me at a few points.

 

When we were dating all those months ago, I'll admit I had visions of my ex ending up as my date to this day. This was the very last wedding out of my main circle of friends' weddings, and seeing as how I ended up going solo to every other one over the years made bringing a date here sort of a "goal" of mine for a while. But even with all those thoughts throughout this year, the reality is, I didn't even think of the ex at all throughout this wedding. Just another great sign that proves to me I really am over her. It's more just seeing everyone else at my table and on the dance floor with a significant other and wanting that relationship more than it has anything to do with her anymore. Funny moment came when the photographer asked me if a random girl in front of me was my gf and I laughingly said no, yet in the back of my mind and in my heart I ached.

 

Of course I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be sweet validation if she came back to me begging for some kind of second chance. I'd never give it to her but it's just something I guess I subconsciously crave. The craving to also restore the dignity I lost all those months ago after how I acted after the blow off. But I know that's not happening and I know I have to continue moving forward. Staying afloat so to speak until someone comes into my life that I deserve.

 

Glad you got a slow dance atleast and you had a good time and the best part of reading that story is you didn't think about your ex. That is a massive win for you.

 

Keep on keeping on

 

- Beach

[JP92]

Had my best friends wedding last night. Amazing time. As confident as I am and as well as I've been doing, at 33, going to another wedding solo just isn't an easy task. Still, it was fun. I even had a friend (girl) that was cool enough to slow dance with me at a few points.

 

When we were dating all those months ago, I'll admit I had visions of my ex ending up as my date to this day. This was the very last wedding out of my main circle of friends' weddings, and seeing as how I ended up going solo to every other one over the years made bringing a date here sort of a "goal" of mine for a while. But even with all those thoughts throughout this year, the reality is, I didn't even think of the ex at all throughout this wedding. Just another great sign that proves to me I really am over her. It's more just seeing everyone else at my table and on the dance floor with a significant other and wanting that relationship more than it has anything to do with her anymore. Funny moment came when the photographer asked me if a random girl in front of me was my gf and I laughingly said no, yet in the back of my mind and in my heart I ached.

 

Of course I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be sweet validation if she came back to me begging for some kind of second chance. I'd never give it to her but it's just something I guess I subconsciously crave. The craving to also restore the dignity I lost all those months ago after how I acted after the blow off. But I know that's not happening and I know I have to continue moving forward. Staying afloat so to speak until someone comes into my life that I deserve.

 

Mad props to you for being able to keep her out of your mind at the wedding. Definitely inspiring as I still haven't had a day where she isn't in my mind a lot. I can't wait to get to that stage. Revenge fantasy is something I often think about because the idea of a person experiencing the pain you felt that was caused by them is soooo satisfying. Glad you had a good time at your friend's wedding and are over your ex. Great to read. I went so block crazy and altered my email settings so much after the last breadcrumb I was fed that the only way I could hear from my ex again is if she showed up at my door. Didn't expect it to feel so good to know that I can't see or hear from her. I was lying to myself all this time and knew deep down I left the email part open in hopes of some deep confession. No more false hope forever. It's over.

Edited July 17, 2018 by JP92

[maybejune]

Bad -- I checked his Instagram (after 7 months of absolute NC), of course, he went to winter ski trip and a wedding on a beautiful island. Nothing too dramatic, but it saddened me and I felt my Adrenaline surged, because he never wanted to have any trip with me and deliberately hid me from the same group of ski trip and wedding. My instinct told me there was something wrong there, I remember I kept asking this group of friends, and he didn't want to talk about it. Overall it reassures me, I had an unhappy relationship which I should have ended earlier or never had it from the beginning.

I keep telling myself I should cheer up, I ended it. Even if I want a good bf or a reliable partner, he is not good for me.

 

Good -- I start to learn Ukulele, following Youtube tutorials. My fingertips hurt, but it's fun to play some string-- they are still noise so far, but I am practicing Super Mario now, I will play it well.

-- I went out to shoot night scene of the city, played with my camera and a few pictures came out nice. The weather was perfect, with breeze along the river. I passed by a dog park, those dogs were still getting excited when they saw their friends even though I am pretty sure they meet almost everyday on the walk.

 

I want to write this down.

it has been 20 days since my last post, and I haven't been good since. I stalked him again, and I don't sleep well, pain in my head and heaviness on my chest all come back just like the first month after BU. what's different are, I am used to the pain, and I know I will suffer, I cried a lot then I don't want to cry because it's too tiring. I lost interest in workout and work, almost forgot a meeting this week. I can't focus on my work, I become a mess again.

I wanted to go back to the dating market, but finally deleted the app again, online dating suck like last time. Maybe I will start to meet people IRL, stay away from online dating for now.

I revisited my topic, read all the comments which helped me again to calm down and look forward.

Edited July 18, 2018 by maybejune

[Beachead]

I want to write this down.

it has been 20 days since my last post, and I haven't been good since. I stalked him again, and I don't sleep well, pain in my head and heaviness on my chest all come back just like the first month after BU. what's different are, I am used to the pain, and I know I will suffer, I cried a lot then I don't want to cry because it's too tiring. I lost interest in workout and work, almost forgot a meeting this week. I can't focus on my work, I become a mess again.

I wanted to go back to the dating market, but finally deleted the app again, online dating suck like last time. Maybe I will start to meet people IRL, stay away from online dating for now.

I revisited my topic, read all the comments which helped me again to calm down and look forward.

 

Happens to the best of us. Healing is never a straight line. Plus, we're dealing with an addiction. Sometimes we're going to get weak and relapse and sometimes that relapse and the pain it causes us may be exactly what we need to get past emotional plateaus. It's all a process.

 

Stay Strong

 

- Beachead

[maybejune]

Happens to the best of us. Healing is never a straight line. Plus, we're dealing with an addiction. Sometimes we're going to get weak and relapse and sometimes that relapse and the pain it causes us may be exactly what we need to get past emotional plateaus. It's all a process.

 

Stay Strong

 

- Beachead

 

Thank you Beachead!

[anonymousbear00101100]

Well I haven't posted here in four months but it's been a rough couple of days, figured I'd give it another go.

 

It's been about seven months since we broke up. The past couple weeks I didn't really think about her at all. I've been in a great mood, meeting lots of new people, going out on the weekends. I earned an internship at the place I dreamed of working when I first chose my university and one that will give me a huge leg up as a young professional. The internship has turned into a paid position as well. I've talked to a couple of girls, I've hooked up, I've gotten in great shape. I've been really confident and happy for the most part, even if summer with all my of friends away has been boring at times.

 

The other night I messed up. I didn't really eat at all during the day and I drank too much, and ended up being belligerent with some people I didn't know very well. Not in an obnoxiously loud way. Just like clearly I drank too much and wasn't really responsive. When I tried to leave their house I couldn't find the door like an idiot. It was just a bit embarrassing since I didn't really know them, and a missed opportunity to make new friends.

 

I've always been a bit of a perfectionist, and these past couple days I felt like I lost a lot of momentum. I don't even know if these people remember me or care but I feel dumb.

 

It's weird because my problems are only tangentially related to my ex at this point. None of me wants her back. But that need for external validation -- the only thing she really ever provided me -- is back. I found myself thinking about her and missing her a bit the past couple of days as I've struggled with my feelings of embarrassment. The summer is hard because I don't really see anybody Sunday through Thursday, so if things on Friday and Saturday don't go well I feel a bit down all week.

 

I don't know. I guess just needed a place to vent. Hopefully things go better this weekend. I hope everyone is doing better and making progress. It gets better with time.

[Realitysux]

Well I haven't posted here in four months but it's been a rough couple of days, figured I'd give it another go.

 

It's been about seven months since we broke up. The past couple weeks I didn't really think about her at all. I've been in a great mood, meeting lots of new people, going out on the weekends. I earned an internship at the place I dreamed of working when I first chose my university and one that will give me a huge leg up as a young professional. The internship has turned into a paid position as well. I've talked to a couple of girls, I've hooked up, I've gotten in great shape. I've been really confident and happy for the most part, even if summer with all my of friends away has been boring at times.

 

The other night I messed up. I didn't really eat at all during the day and I drank too much, and ended up being belligerent with some people I didn't know very well. Not in an obnoxiously loud way. Just like clearly I drank too much and wasn't really responsive. When I tried to leave their house I couldn't find the door like an idiot. It was just a bit embarrassing since I didn't really know them, and a missed opportunity to make new friends.

 

I've always been a bit of a perfectionist, and these past couple days I felt like I lost a lot of momentum. I don't even know if these people remember me or care but I feel dumb.

 

It's weird because my problems are only tangentially related to my ex at this point. None of me wants her back. But that need for external validation -- the only thing she really ever provided me -- is back. I found myself thinking about her and missing her a bit the past couple of days as I've struggled with my feelings of embarrassment. The summer is hard because I don't really see anybody Sunday through Thursday, so if things on Friday and Saturday don't go well I feel a bit down all week.

 

I don't know. I guess just needed a place to vent. Hopefully things go better this weekend. I hope everyone is doing better and making progress. It gets better with time.

 

Thats normal and I have felt that way to. I am socially awkward and these past few years have taken its toll on me physcially so i look a bit rough. Im so busy with other priotities and putting my finances back into school that i havent renewed my gym membership. I face a lot of rejection on a daily basis and when that happens, I used to miss someone, but I don't anymore. I look at it as an opportunity to claim my life back and to hell with what people think.

 

I'm kind of disappointed in my sister because she did some things she shouldn't be proud of but continues to judge me and insists she's better then us. I felt anger towards her for a long time because she has another family that she's close to and has found a support system that doesn't really include me. In fact, they all think so I'll of me but no one has been in my life day to day to see what I have to deal with.

 

It sucks and that's for sure but you keep moving forward and to hell with what people think. Be strong and stand your ground. Reclaim your life and validate yourself by continuing to work on your success.

[leepetrus]

Met up with ex-gf last week to apologize for the bad breakup and we started to see each other again. She said she was confused because she still hurt from the break up over six months ago and is afraid of me hurting her again. She still loves me but is unable to get back together right now. We went on dates several times, made out, but never had sex.

I called her yesterday to say I'm unable to keep seeing her because it hurt me to keep it casual, since I love her, and that I will be moving on with my life. She understood, respected my decision, said goodbye, and that was it.

 

Although initially I felt relief, right now it aches so badly because I miss her, and I know that she loves me. I try not to keep imagining that maybe our paths will cross down the road but it has been so hard not to. I have so many others preoccupations, so many things I need to deal with this semester, as my father's cancer and my med school admittance test. Still, most of the time the only thing going through my mind is why the hell things had to be this way and why can't we be together even though we love each other? Yesterday was rough, but today feels like an enormous challenge.

[Mac0908]

Met up with ex-gf last week to apologize for the bad breakup and we started to see each other again. She said she was confused because she still hurt from the break up over six months ago and is afraid of me hurting her again. She still loves me but is unable to get back together right now.

 

Confused = A common word a woman will use in place of flat out rejection. Her conscience is trying to tell her she can't be with you, but she hasn't fully grasped it yet, hence the "confusion".

 

She may be in love with you to an extent, albeit small, but a woman who is truly in love with a guy and likes a guy will move mountains to be with him.

 

Sounds like this one is over and I'd begin moving on man.

[JayHarris]

Sad day. Ex handed in her work key today is moving on with a new job. It is good I wont have to see her at work anymore but it still made me very sad. I remember the fun moments we had when I trained her and how exciting everything was when she was pursuing me. Now I am in the same chair at the same boring job and she's moved on with her life and much happier without me.

 

Going to work makes me feel very depressed. Too many memories of moments shared with a person I loved that ended up crushing me.

[lhgirl]

I was out of town a few days and when I looked for you online, you were nowhere to be found. Apparently I am blocked. Why? We had no arguments and i had just seen you a week prior. We have nothing in common so running in to you 'by accident' is more than unlikely. A goodbye with an explanation could have been warranted. After 10 months of good times, bad times, silent times, etc., I never expected to be blocked out of your life completely - and certainly not out of the blue.

 

I'm going to move on and get over this. Today it hurts. But tomorrow will hopefully be just a little better. One day at a time. One hour at a time if necessary. I will get through this - I'll forever be perplexed and confused, but there are worse things I guess.

 

So I will have to write my feelings here - and say goodbye with love. I sincerely wish you well in your life.

[fieldoflavender]

So I don't know if I should bother trying. It seems the more I try, the more it doesn't work.

 

Maybe you guys are right, but I hate giving up.

 

I guess sometimes we do really have to accept failure?

[Beachead]

So I don't know if I should bother trying. It seems the more I try, the more it doesn't work.

 

Maybe you guys are right, but I hate giving up.

I guess sometimes we do really have to accept failure?

 

Right about what Fieldoflavender?