vickyp Posted March 17, 2018 Posted March 17, 2018 Today I'm feeling abit mad/upset with everything. I really just want to call and rip into him. I'd say how on earth someone could play games with me for almost 3 years. All the lies of us moving forward in life, getting married, kids, buying a house etc etc. What was the point in all of us? To say these things, then laugh behind my back? I've had 3 long term relationships. Either I was the dumper or the dumpee, and when they ended it civil. We all had closure. This one tho, had really did my head in. I can't get over how someone would lie/ play games this whole time with me. I really don't get it. I'm leaving for Europe in 2 weeks. You would think I'd be excited. But I'm not. I just keep thinking over and over how someone could do this to me. When I was open honest loving and never gave a reason to doubt my love. I won't actually call. That wouldn't be a smart move on my end. I guess it's just the cold,devil like dumping that hurts. 1
hurtsbadjusthurts Posted March 17, 2018 Posted March 17, 2018 When you look at the list of the things people recommend you do after a break up. I've checked off the list. Should be pleased with that. I don't feel it. Hasn't made much of a difference for me. Went out as usual today. Just to get away from it, have a coffee and clear my head. I remember thinking to myself "What the hell are you doing?" "How messed up are you that you need to do this to cope!" I really felt alone. I've felt lonely at times since the break up. But today sat there looking next to me and seeing no one there, crushed me. Having to fight every urge not to reach out. Something has to give.
anonymousbear00101100 Posted March 17, 2018 Posted March 17, 2018 When you look at the list of the things people recommend you do after a break up. I've checked off the list. Should be pleased with that. I don't feel it. Hasn't made much of a difference for me. Went out as usual today. Just to get away from it, have a coffee and clear my head. I remember thinking to myself "What the hell are you doing?" "How messed up are you that you need to do this to cope!" I really felt alone. I've felt lonely at times since the break up. But today sat there looking next to me and seeing no one there, crushed me. Having to fight every urge not to reach out. Something has to give. I'm here too. I quit all my vices, I'm in better shape, I'm hanging out with friends, my life is looking better for the most part, but nothing can shake the overwhelming loneliness I feel in general. I think waking up early/going to sleep early is a big thing, so a larger percentage of the day is looking forward to doing things and less time waiting to sleep. Find something to do late at night, like go to the gym or coffee shop. That way you have something to look forward to and you don't have long stretches of time alone in your apartment just waiting for the next day. That's what I try to do. Still, the loneliness is really hard to get past. 2
Mac0908 Posted March 18, 2018 Posted March 18, 2018 (edited) I'm here too. I quit all my vices, I'm in better shape, I'm hanging out with friends, my life is looking better for the most part, but nothing can shake the overwhelming loneliness I feel in general. I think waking up early/going to sleep early is a big thing, so a larger percentage of the day is looking forward to doing things and less time waiting to sleep. Find something to do late at night, like go to the gym or coffee shop. That way you have something to look forward to and you don't have long stretches of time alone in your apartment just waiting for the next day. That's what I try to do. Still, the loneliness is really hard to get past. This is basically where I'm at to a T. Overall I'm doing well, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still 33, single and alone most weekends in a world where most friends are married or in relationships. That's why having her for that short period of time was so very nice. It was everything I had ever wanted ever since the end of my LTR many years ago and it was then taken away from me in an instant. Just seemed so very unfair, in the most serious of ways I mean that. Unfair. Tonight is the first weekend in a while where I've had no plans and it's kind of hitting me hard tonight. Being alone in my apartment for long stretches absolutely is a trigger. I know that. But sometimes, what can I really do? The gym is usually a decent answer I'll admit, but thats basically it. You won't find me alone in a coffee shop. That would means more depression piling on me. Might head to my parents house for the night just to hang in my old room and watch some tube. Beats the feeling of total loneliness at least. Just feeling down tonight in general, but not a lot of it has to do with her and at least that's a good thing. Edited March 18, 2018 by Mac0908
Beachead Posted March 18, 2018 Posted March 18, 2018 (edited) I'm with you guys on the loneliness. Some days I don't have time to think about it. Some days it's like quiet background music. And every now and then, it just rings in my face. Got a large list of friends who are in LTR's now, many who have married and engaged. More on their way as well. For that empty feeling to permanently go away, someone new and special enough has to walk into my life and show me why investing in them is worth the risk of heartbreak again. And that's just how it is. I feel a lot of anger at times towards it all. So when I catch myself thinking like this, I delve into my own life and block the rest of the world out, and try to make it purposeful and meaningful because if I sit there and wallow, it'll just get worse. Atleast this way, there will be change and maybe that change might bring something good. And so between the two, one has a chance for a potentially better future, the other has a guaranteed destination to suicide..and yes I have battled those thoughts. I choose the one that keeps me alive because at this point, if my other option is quitting, then I don't have a damn thing to lose anyway, so I might as well chuck my fears, take risks, go all out and see what happens. And from that standpoint, I ended up freeing myself from needing a partner. That's how I deal. Wish there was a cure in regards to the loneliness/emptiness but unfortunately I think we have to find our own. - Beach Edited March 18, 2018 by Beachead 1
Mac0908 Posted March 18, 2018 Posted March 18, 2018 (edited) For that empty feeling to permanently go away, someone new and special enough has to walk into my life and show me why investing in them is worth the risk of heartbreak again. And that's just how it is. I feel a lot of anger at times towards it all. So when I catch myself thinking like this, I delve into my own life and block the rest of the world out, and try to make it purposeful and meaningful because if I sit there and wallow, it'll just get worse. Atleast this way, there will be change and maybe that change might bring something good. And so between the two, one has a chance for a potentially better future, the other has a guaranteed destination to suicide..and yes I have battled those thoughts. - Beach I didn't know it went that far for you. I'm assuming you've had much more heartbreak other than the most recent situation from 7 months ago? If so just know that I'm in the same boat. I have it all (good home, good job, relatively good looking, nice car, good family and friends, etc) but for many years I've struggled to find the RIGHT girl to stick around. I've had flings end badly for one reason or another. I've had to end some, and vice versa. I've had girls I've been into after a couple of dates that just weren't into me, and vice versa. It just doesn't seem right sometimes. 33 years old sitting at home on weekends while all my other friends are out with their respective significant others. This has gone on for years now (when I have nothing going on I mean). I basically look forward to work on Monday's when this happens. The good news is I share these thoughts with some other people my age so I know I'm not alone. It just is what it is. I just didn't think it would go on this long. I'm sure you didn't either. It gets to a point where you can't help but want to surrender. Dating is absolutely the most mentally exhausting thing there is. 6 years for me now. Honestly I don't know how I still do it, especially after what I just went through, when I thought I finally found someone great once and for all. People can come on here and bash me in some posts and tell me I need to get a grip, etc, but they don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through. So I have to try and ignore those posts. We must both have more strong emotional endurance than anyone else we know to keep going and at least we can look at ourselves and be proud of ourselves for that. I know I am. But yes for the lonely feelings to go away completely, someone special has to come into our lives. It's just that simple. I've been well aware of this and that's why I was thrilled to have someone who I thought was special, even for a short time. It's why I tried to save things as much as I did, even if that wasn't exactly the best action to take. I'm only human. We're only human. It's what we crave at this point in life. Edited March 18, 2018 by Mac0908 1
hurtsbadjusthurts Posted March 18, 2018 Posted March 18, 2018 Here's my take on it. I can't remember the exact quote. But it struck accord with me. It was something along the lines of "If you want friends you'll find none. If you're are prepared to be a great friend to someone, you'll find lots. Once we broke up, a lot of people left my life. I realised my support network was not what it was, or needed. I needed more good people in my life. So i've done just that. I'm prepared to be a good friend. And so far have met some really cool people. It's the same for me with meeting someone. I don't think you can ever go out there preempting things. If you go out looking for someone to be in a relationship with you won't find one... If you're a person who it would be amazing to be in a relationship with, finding someone isn't a problem...(You'll find too many) My mentality has been to be open to meeting the opposite sex. I don't look for anything or expect anything. After being in a relationship for five years what ever happens with another person is a worthwhile experience. It's a learning curve. I've met more women so far than i ever thought i would, its really surprised me(Mainly surprised because i refused to use tinder. Won't do it!). Wish i was in a better head space to appreciate it.
fieldoflavender Posted March 19, 2018 Posted March 19, 2018 Today I'm feeling abit mad/upset with everything. I really just want to call and rip into him. I'd say how on earth someone could play games with me for almost 3 years. All the lies of us moving forward in life, getting married, kids, buying a house etc etc. What was the point in all of us? To say these things, then laugh behind my back? I've had 3 long term relationships. Either I was the dumper or the dumpee, and when they ended it civil. We all had closure. This one tho, had really did my head in. I can't get over how someone would lie/ play games this whole time with me. I really don't get it. I'm leaving for Europe in 2 weeks. You would think I'd be excited. But I'm not. I just keep thinking over and over how someone could do this to me. When I was open honest loving and never gave a reason to doubt my love. I won't actually call. That wouldn't be a smart move on my end. I guess it's just the cold,devil like dumping that hurts. I go through it too. I know I shouldn't let the break up and him consume my life, it's almost a year, but it does. There are rarely any days when I don't think about it and feel hurt, pain, anger, and who knows what else. Maybe I don't like to admit it, maybe there is a small part of me that did love him? And still loves him? I don't want to be with him, but the nice image of him that I kind of fell with was a good person. And it's hard to lose that and I'm guessing you also don't have someone else to distract you either. It will all pass....one day. I don't think I will ever forget all this - after so much of our youth and valuable time. We will always have scars, but hopefully they fade with time.
fieldoflavender Posted March 19, 2018 Posted March 19, 2018 Here's my take on it. I can't remember the exact quote. But it struck accord with me. It was something along the lines of "If you want friends you'll find none. If you're are prepared to be a great friend to someone, you'll find lots. Once we broke up, a lot of people left my life. I realised my support network was not what it was, or needed. I needed more good people in my life. So i've done just that. I'm prepared to be a good friend. And so far have met some really cool people. It's the same for me with meeting someone. I don't think you can ever go out there preempting things. If you go out looking for someone to be in a relationship with you won't find one... If you're a person who it would be amazing to be in a relationship with, finding someone isn't a problem...(You'll find too many) My mentality has been to be open to meeting the opposite sex. I don't look for anything or expect anything. After being in a relationship for five years what ever happens with another person is a worthwhile experience. It's a learning curve. I've met more women so far than i ever thought i would, its really surprised me(Mainly surprised because i refused to use tinder. Won't do it!). Wish i was in a better head space to appreciate it. I lost a lot of people after the break-up but I also made a lot of new friends, and also strengthened some friendships. You learn a lot of what friendships truly are about during this time. And you learn to be strong, so that even if you're in another relationship, you will never lose the ability to fend for yourself.
maybejune Posted March 19, 2018 Posted March 19, 2018 I'd like to think every time he showed in my dream, I would distance a little bit from the breakup, I could have a little more inner calm, so when I had the odd dream couple of days ago, I tried to convince myself it would be another step I made to free myself... It stayed briefly, until tonight, I was doing laundry, I saw my travel bag I used in my last trip which was a disaster and I lost him when I came back. I have been telling myself he had been long gone before I broke it off, he never saw me as girlfriend, he couldn't treat me worse ... But when I recall that trip, the argument we had before my trip, his calls and unanswered calls, why he couldn't remember the date I came back and he had to ask few times, why he didn't call me and never explained to me... I shouldn't let myself fall in love with him, and I shouldn't beat myself up 6 months after breakup. But I still feel it's so unfair, I know love is not about fair, but I have never done anything wrong , why he hid me like secrete, why he never wanted to share life with me, why he lied and led me to believe he was serious with me. Had I known he was playing , I wouldn't invest and treat him like my partner, I am not a player but I can definitely set my expectation low and put minimum effort, instead of all in... I don't want to count on the days/months. I really want to have the state of mind being ready to go out and have fun with guys. Everyday when I wake up, I start to have the fear that I will get sad any moment when my mind turns to him who had never thought about me for a while.
Realitysux Posted March 19, 2018 Posted March 19, 2018 I'd like to think every time he showed in my dream, I would distance a little bit from the breakup, I could have a little more inner calm, so when I had the odd dream couple of days ago, I tried to convince myself it would be another step I made to free myself... It stayed briefly, until tonight, I was doing laundry, I saw my travel bag I used in my last trip which was a disaster and I lost him when I came back. I have been telling myself he had been long gone before I broke it off, he never saw me as girlfriend, he couldn't treat me worse ... But when I recall that trip, the argument we had before my trip, his calls and unanswered calls, why he couldn't remember the date I came back and he had to ask few times, why he didn't call me and never explained to me... I shouldn't let myself fall in love with him, and I shouldn't beat myself up 6 months after breakup. But I still feel it's so unfair, I know love is not about fair, but I have never done anything wrong , why he hid me like secrete, why he never wanted to share life with me, why he lied and led me to believe he was serious with me. Had I known he was playing , I wouldn't invest and treat him like my partner, I am not a player but I can definitely set my expectation low and put minimum effort, instead of all in... I don't want to count on the days/months. I really want to have the state of mind being ready to go out and have fun with guys. Everyday when I wake up, I start to have the fear that I will get sad any moment when my mind turns to him who had never thought about me for a while. Why don't you just call him and explain to him that although this might not be his expectations on how you handle this, but that you are struggling, and you need some answers to help you move on. Then when he doesnt, or if he doesnt, you can log back on here and we can talk about what a jerk he is. He seems like a big jerk but I don't have the answers you are looking for. Only he does! I guess its easier for me since I am not ready to date. I have some things in my life to sort out first. I don't know what dating would be like after what you went through, but having answers right now seems like an okay thing.
vickyp Posted March 19, 2018 Posted March 19, 2018 I go through it too. I know I shouldn't let the break up and him consume my life, it's almost a year, but it does. There are rarely any days when I don't think about it and feel hurt, pain, anger, and who knows what else. Maybe I don't like to admit it, maybe there is a small part of me that did love him? And still loves him? I don't want to be with him, but the nice image of him that I kind of fell with was a good person. And it's hard to lose that and I'm guessing you also don't have someone else to distract you either. It will all pass....one day. I don't think I will ever forget all this - after so much of our youth and valuable time. We will always have scars, but hopefully they fade with time. Hi champ No I haven't dated anyone. In fact I really don't want too right now. I do enjoy my alone time at the moment. I think it's just the questions that I can't get over. One for example, why bother being with me if you had no intention of being long term? I think the pain and scars disappear when your with the person your meant to be with. Hang in there. Remember there's no time limit to get over someone. Work on you and the rest will fall into place. 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted March 20, 2018 Posted March 20, 2018 My friends and family have been telling me that I give my heart away too freely, and that I fall in love too easily. They make it seem like some sort of flaw. Well, it's not like I try to. It just happens. I've even tried holding myself and my feelings back, but you know what? It just feels unnatural and it ends up making me miserable because I'm not being true to myself. It's just a part of who I am. And sure, it's led to me being hurt and having my heart broken numerous times but I'd rather feel with my whole heart instead of being emotionally stunted and afraid of my feelings, like my most recent ex. Don't get me wrong, I get afraid of my feelings too sometimes but that's when I take a step back and really examine them instead of running for the hills. Or I try to. Sometimes I do subconsciously try to push the other person away when I feel they're getting too close and I'm becoming too vulnerable. It's a work in progress. But at the end of the day I can at least say I put my all into a relationship. I hold out the hope that I'll meet someone who's the same. That maybe then I'll see why none of my other relationships have worked out. I don't know. I have to have that hope or else what's the point in even trying?
MeadowFlower Posted March 20, 2018 Posted March 20, 2018 It's kinda cool to get that portion of feeling of not caring. 3
Beachead Posted March 21, 2018 Posted March 21, 2018 (edited) I didn't know it went that far for you. I'm assuming you've had much more heartbreak other than the most recent situation from 7 months ago? If so just know that I'm in the same boat. I have it all (good home, good job, relatively good looking, nice car, good family and friends, etc) but for many years I've struggled to find the RIGHT girl to stick around. I've had flings end badly for one reason or another. I've had to end some, and vice versa. I've had girls I've been into after a couple of dates that just weren't into me, and vice versa. It just doesn't seem right sometimes. 33 years old sitting at home on weekends while all my other friends are out with their respective significant others. This has gone on for years now (when I have nothing going on I mean). I basically look forward to work on Monday's when this happens. The good news is I share these thoughts with some other people my age so I know I'm not alone. It just is what it is. I just didn't think it would go on this long. I'm sure you didn't either. It gets to a point where you can't help but want to surrender. Dating is absolutely the most mentally exhausting thing there is. 6 years for me now. Honestly I don't know how I still do it, especially after what I just went through, when I thought I finally found someone great once and for all. People can come on here and bash me in some posts and tell me I need to get a grip, etc, but they don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through. So I have to try and ignore those posts. We must both have more strong emotional endurance than anyone else we know to keep going and at least we can look at ourselves and be proud of ourselves for that. I know I am. But yes for the lonely feelings to go away completely, someone special has to come into our lives. It's just that simple. I've been well aware of this and that's why I was thrilled to have someone who I thought was special, even for a short time. It's why I tried to save things as much as I did, even if that wasn't exactly the best action to take. I'm only human. We're only human. It's what we crave at this point in life. I hear you man. Yea I've been through a lot, mostly things outside of relationships out of my control. Was diagnosed with a chronic Autoimmunse illness at 10. That basically changed everything for me. A lot of health problems have been a big part of my family along with financial problems growing up, failed marriages and everything. It is what it is and nobody can do anything about it but it did affect me tremendously growing up. My confidence and self-esteem was nearly non-existent. I didn't even have any self-identity because I spent about two decades of my life wanting to be accepted and loved. Even created a persona to fit in. I pretended so well for so long, I ended up convincing myself that's who I was. I ended up making choices that caused more problems in my life down the road which slowed me down. Things like choosing the wrong kind of people to be around me. Prioritizing other peoples lives over my own. Tolerating more bs than I should have. That translated to bad friendships, bad partners. Deep down inside, I wanted to get my life together. But something new would come and slam me right into the ground again. I can't explain the number of times I've laid in my bed not knowing how I was going get through it all. I'd lay there thinking and thinking; where do I begin? How do I do this? There were days I just felt completely lost. Got to a point where I had felt I had gained nothing after all those years. Felt like I had no real friends. No woman to back me through all this. I had wanted it for so long. Put all my worth on the acceptance and love of others so not having that meant everything was lost. And even though that wasn't true, I was so done that it felt true and I was ready to quit. I've been there. Some people have made some comments about my advice being inciteful, compassionate and what not. It's because of all of this. Edited March 21, 2018 by Beachead 2
StrangerThanFiction Posted March 21, 2018 Posted March 21, 2018 I've been feeling really sad the last couple of days. My ex will be moving out of the province on the first of next month and I have mixed feelings about it. Why? Well, because I'm an idiot and have kept in contact with him since we broke up. We've hooked up a few times and he's spent a couple days at my house. Stupid, stupid, stupid. L bombs were dropped on both sides. He even asked me to move out there with him. When he was drunk though, of course. The insane part is that I seriously considered it for about 5 minutes before reality came crashing back in. We're not together, and even if we were I've only known him for about 3 months and then broke up with him because he treated me like crap and I refused to put up with it. But here I am now picking his drunk a** up from the bar and sleeping with him like I used to when we were together. So what really have I accomplished? The thing is is that now that we're not together we're back to being like we were before things went sideways. We talk, we laugh, etc. Maybe it's because there is zero pressure because we know that everything will end on the first when he leaves. And I'm sad about it. I'm going to miss him. But on the other hand, that's about as much closure on a relationship that you can get. I know I should end everything before that time comes because the only time he ever seems to want to see me is when he's drunk, so that's a pretty sign of what this actually is to him, but I guess I just don't want to leave it like that. Ugh. We'll see what happens.
Mac0908 Posted March 21, 2018 Posted March 21, 2018 (edited) I'm shocked how I'm now just a few days away from 2 months of NC. Not sure if its a good or bad thing how it feels like it was just the other day when we had our final exchange. It now seems to get more clear than ever before that I really was more of a rebound than I thought I was, and that she may never ever reach back out in any capacity, even if it were to just get any guilt she may have had off her chest. But that's perfectly fine by me. I've been healing very well without that and will continue to do so. However, I'm still at a standstill at 90% healed. Not sure how long the final 10% will take. It might just be there until another woman comes into my life who is special enough to make me care again. I don't know. All I do know is that there is a void in my life at this stage that needs to be filled. It's that simple. I'm 33 and have been ready for something serious for a while now. With regards to my "ex", at least I know that I don't care if I never hear from her again, I don't even think of checking her social media anymore, and whenever I (now rarely) go over the story in my head at the end of it I know I did absolutely nothing wrong. Still, regardless of all my thoughts, that small ounce of hope still lingers... Edited March 21, 2018 by Mac0908
kheratha Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 Well...5 weeks strict NC...I really don't know if I'm gonna be better..till now I'm not...I feel lonely..and deep down I still feel the hope. He is not the kind of guy who's coming back..he never did and I know he will never will..I just hoped that I could cope much better..but I am not..maybe coz I am not young anymore..and I had enough... Anyway is nothing I can do..he said he doesn't want me to contact him..so maybe that's why is easy for me to stay NC...I just ask myself how long I will be so sad...and lonely...
TeddyPSmith Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 Well...5 weeks strict NC...I really don't know if I'm gonna be better..till now I'm not...I feel lonely..and deep down I still feel the hope. He is not the kind of guy who's coming back..he never did and I know he will never will..I just hoped that I could cope much better..but I am not..maybe coz I am not young anymore..and I had enough... Anyway is nothing I can do..he said he doesn't want me to contact him..so maybe that's why is easy for me to stay NC...I just ask myself how long I will be so sad...and lonely... This is me. I’ve noticed several things that help. They by no means take away the pain but offer some moments of solace. First, I’ve compiled an exhaustive list of her negative qualities. I add to it often and read it when I long for her. Along that vein, I also talk to friends and family about these things and they help reinforce that she was not the superstar that I think she was. Next, I cry. I cry about 3 times every day. I don’t try to restrain or restrict my tears. I cry and yell at her. I argue with her out loud (I’m by myself). I scream at her and curse her out. I cry a little more then put in some visine and get back to business. This is so therapeutic for me. I’ve found someone that I can text with that’s going through something similar. It helps that she’s attractive . We support each other and it’s made a world of difference. I also go to therapy once a week. I find that psychotherapy fits me best (as opposed to other modalities). I also listen to audiobooks regarding things I uncover in therapy. Podcasts also help a ton. I hope you can find a way to practice any or all of these things. I’ve still not accepted the loss and harbor a fantasy that she will come back at some random time. She probably won’t but it hasn’t stopped me from keeping the hope. 2
aminae7 Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 Im plugged into my music, drinking my coffee and working hard. Work Hard Play Hard I say. I can't believe I found this forumn, its awesome. I read a lot but not post all too much. I've made the steps to get over my ex. I blocked him on linked-in, deleted him on the rest of it. 1
anonymousbear00101100 Posted March 22, 2018 Posted March 22, 2018 I can't stop comparing my life to hers. I've been no contact so I don't actually know what she's up to but I'm sure her life is great living on the beach and going to festivals. I wish I was one of those people who could focus on themselves. I just feel like she's having so much more fun than I am while I'm stuck at school.
Beachead Posted March 23, 2018 Posted March 23, 2018 (edited) I can't stop comparing my life to hers. I've been no contact so I don't actually know what she's up to but I'm sure her life is great living on the beach and going to festivals. I wish I was one of those people who could focus on themselves. I just feel like she's having so much more fun than I am while I'm stuck at school. I'd think about it this way. You're not stuck in school. You're growing within it. Go through hell today so that down the road, you can do what you want to do. You can have fun the way you want. Won't have to worry too much about finances because you'll be making far more than you are today. More money means you can reinvest that into your interests. You can travel more. You can do all the things you've wanted to do but couldn't cause of financial restriction. A life that's more of what you want means you'll be a little more secure. More confident. Happier. People will pick up on this and feel an attraction to your positivity and you'll meet more people. Take a small step forward each day and in one years time, those steps will have travelled quite a distance. Edited March 23, 2018 by Beachead 1
kheratha Posted March 23, 2018 Posted March 23, 2018 This is me. I’ve noticed several things that help. They by no means take away the pain but offer some moments of solace. First, I’ve compiled an exhaustive list of her negative qualities. I add to it often and read it when I long for her. Along that vein, I also talk to friends and family about these things and they help reinforce that she was not the superstar that I think she was. Next, I cry. I cry about 3 times every day. I don’t try to restrain or restrict my tears. I cry and yell at her. I argue with her out loud (I’m by myself). I scream at her and curse her out. I cry a little more then put in some visine and get back to business. This is so therapeutic for me. I’ve found someone that I can text with that’s going through something similar. It helps that she’s attractive . We support each other and it’s made a world of difference. I also go to therapy once a week. I find that psychotherapy fits me best (as opposed to other modalities). I also listen to audiobooks regarding things I uncover in therapy. Podcasts also help a ton. I hope you can find a way to practice any or all of these things. I’ve still not accepted the loss and harbor a fantasy that she will come back at some random time. She probably won’t but it hasn’t stopped me from keeping the hope. Thank you and I understand your mindset... Eventually, all this will stop, and we will be able to be happy again:)
anonymousbear00101100 Posted March 23, 2018 Posted March 23, 2018 I'd think about it this way. You're not stuck in school. You're growing within it. Go through hell today so that down the road, you can do what you want to do. You can have fun the way you want. Won't have to worry too much about finances because you'll be making far more than you are today. More money means you can reinvest that into your interests. You can travel more. You can do all the things you've wanted to do but couldn't cause of financial restriction. A life that's more of what you want means you'll be a little more secure. More confident. Happier. People will pick up on this and feel an attraction to your positivity and you'll meet more people. Take a small step forward each day and in one years time, those steps will have travelled quite a distance. This makes sense and is basically what I've been trying to do. Having to constantly work on my weaknesses is tough, especially when there is nobody to validate me and tell me I'm doing a good job. I've been doing so well but today I broke down. This breakup has been relentless in trying to break my spirits. It's so hard to stay positive. I know in my heart that I am going to be really successful in my career and my personal life in the future. Just somedays it's hard to remember that.
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