iouaname Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 So far so good at completely withdrawing from that circle. It's only been two days which I'm aware is nothing, but I'm confident that I can keep it up for the month. I have a lot going on here at school, I have plenty of other people to keep me company and I'm beginning to finally feel content again. I no longer feel anxious or depressed during my spare time. I know that horoscopes are COMPLETE bull****, but for the past few days mine have been telling me to 'reach out' to 'that person' that has been on my mind because now is the right time to do so. I know that that's a mistake, so I'm not even contemplating it - but I do wonder what would happen if I did. I know that it's pointless and that it's not worth the risk, though. I'm finally feeling happy, so I don't want to ruin that.
Real36 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 It's amazing and a little terrifying to know how much my own mind can delude me. Here I am texting him back and wishing that he could just be a better person so that we could actually be together and be happy. But I know that he can't be. Lying is so ingrained into him that it is a second nature. Theses are the times when I go to the cheating sub-forum to read all of the posts from people trying to figure out if their SO is cheating. Some of them are trying desperately to find someone that will tell them that it may not be the case, maybe they really are just busy or the girl who has been texting late night is "just a friend". It took me more than a year to open my eyes. How many clues did I find in that time? I can't even tell you now. I believed lies, I made excuses, I explained away shady behavior. All because I loved a man who did not love me. So why would this man, the one who: set up an account for a hook up site, had a girl over and put away all of my things so she wouldn't see them but then didn't have time to get them back out before I came home, tried desperately to meet up with my co-worker, hit on my best friend's sister, etc. want to talk to me? If I was not good enough for him to treat like a human being then, why does he suddenly want to tell me how wonderful and full of worth I am now? And more puzzling...why does a rational woman like me answer his messages? Why the F do I find myself unable to sleep tonight because I'm wishing that things were different. It makes no damn sense.
iouaname Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 snow day Classes were cancelled. I know I should be excited to have the day off, but I've been working so hard to keep myself busy. I feel like my mood always crashes whenever I have too much free time.
JDPT Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Yep- dealing with yet another snowstorm here in the norther region. However, I didn't allow it to deter me from going to the gym. Thoughts closed my mind earlier and attempted to drag me in like vortex. I started to feel anger and a bit of anxiety by luckily I reroute my thoughts diligently and brought me back to reality. 1
Kevin_D Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Really bad day. I'm working out, hanging out with friends, applying for new jobs and try to connect with tons of girls. For a while, I was feeling better every day, but now things are getting worse again. I had a date with a girl. I knew she was an idiot, but I thought it might be a good idea to "get out of the house". I was in a rather good mood and thought I was looking really good, but she ended the date within an hour. Ouch. So my ex was back on the piedestal. She is better looking, more fun and always enjoyed hanging out with me (just days before she dumped me!). I shared the same bed with a really cute girl about a week ago. It was a great confidence boost. She was really fun to hang out with, so I hoped that we could go out and have a beer sometime, but of course, she ignores me now. Dating after being dumped is a double-edged sword. Realising that I'm capable of attracting hot women really helps, but on the other hand, when they ignore me, I feel like that loser who deserved to be dumped again. I need to try to focus on the positive things. A really hot chick invited me back to her place. She wouldn't have done that if she hadn't been attracted to me. And there must be thousands of other girls out there that would feel the same thing.
realfriends Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Eh. Kinda lonely. I have a ton of homework to do which means I have to stay in. I made the mistake in my relationship of not making many friends because I was comfortable and it has bit me in the ass. I have literally zero girl friends and very few guy friends. No one texts me during the day and I typically just feel alone. I don't drink and don't smoke so typically making friends is harder than it seems. Its not an excuse I just need to find a way to meet new girls and am not sure how. This is also making me miss my ex. My piece of sh*t false hope is kicking in a just wondering when will she contact me. Its been 2 months hard NC and I know its not long and even if she came back, I would probably repress due to it being to early. I just want to feel loved again and to feel important.
smileok Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I'm in a weird place. I'm definitely not as bad as I was, progress did happen in terms of being less sad, I can now have a fun day and feel fine and laugh and stuff. My problem is I can't get past the current stage I'm in, I know all the steps that are advised, I know to keep busy etc but the problem is you can't do that all the time. The break up is no longer fresh, I'm not in shock and I certainly don't expect any contact and will absolutely not be initiating it myself. Do any of you guys know what I mean? It's a weird stage, I'm not overwhelmingly sad but I'm not progressing like everyone told me I would. The sadness is still there as soon as I'm not busy and it's always on the back of my mind at the minimum. Ahhhhhhh this mess. 1
AnyaNova Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Snow day! Which means that I have an extra day or two with my presentation. I was prepared (I have found a completely unable to be proven inverse correlation between how prepared I am and how likely class is to be cancelled, I was prepared, and ergo, class was cancelled), but I still thought that I'd like just a day or two more to really really get it so solid. And now I have it!!!! Only trick, is that I planned my B vitamin shots specifically. And now I will be running low on Thursday when I present because I can't get one until Thursday afternoon and the presentation is in the morning. Ugghh! When I'm low I lose at least 20 to 30 IQ points (I'm not kidding!). It is truly a great day and I am going to celebrate by going back to bed for a bit. 1
Xemyd Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I feel like I'm doing ok... I'm slowly becoming fine with the fact that he's never coming back, but I have dreams of him every night. Dreams of him coming back, sending me apologies, telling me he screwed up and if he would have just stuck it out for two months, we'd be fine because he's home now. I have dreams of us just hanging out, doing normal stuff, grocery shopping, going for walks, for dinner. At least my subconscious is happy.
picnicinthepark Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I feel like I'm doing ok... I'm slowly becoming fine with the fact that he's never coming back, but I have dreams of him every night. Dreams of him coming back, sending me apologies, telling me he screwed up and if he would have just stuck it out for two months, we'd be fine because he's home now. I have dreams of us just hanging out, doing normal stuff, grocery shopping, going for walks, for dinner. At least my subconscious is happy. Its been about 3 weeks and I also have dreams of her every night. The dreams are vivid and are usually of the best memories and even some sad ones too. Waking up in the morning is the icing on the cake. It doesn't matter how busy I make myself, I can't control my dreams. I know it will only get better with time but a part of me doesn't want to stop dreaming of her...
iouaname Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I broke my own goal to withdraw entirely from the mutual friends. It's not a big deal, I slipped up and spoke to one of them late last night. It won't mean anything and it doesn't set me back in healing at all, but I still hate that I don't feel strong enough to stick to my own resolutions. It's not a huge deal and I'm just going to continue forward with it like I had planned. For the entire month of February, I want to remain withdrawn from that social circle. Coping pretty well overall. I still think about him from time to time, but lately I'll realize that I've gone a while without thinking about him and that's always a nice feeling.
JDPT Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 The mind keeps busy as productivity increases. Taking things a day at a time. 1
realfriends Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Not really good. Been inside all day due to an exam tomorrow. I feel alone. 1
AnyaNova Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Not really good. Been inside all day due to an exam tomorrow. I feel alone. *hugs*. Imagine how you will feel tomorrow after having blown the lid off of it! 1
JDPT Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I remember those days, trying to study while being depressed and anxious. It was utter torture. 1
Xemyd Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 This breakup is going to cause me to go broke. As my weirdo way of coping, I've started cooking everything from scratch, loving it, but my bank account is hating it. I've been stocking up on groceries to make healthy pre-made meals, spending my afternoon's after class prepping them. I go shopping 2-3 times a week now. I'm also starting to reconsider my career path. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go to culinary school like I originally planned. I have enough restaurant kitchen experience as it is, do I really need the schooling, probably not. See what you're missing out on Ex? You would have been completely taken care of if we had stayed together, if we took that next step to live together. Now you're stuck eating your bland, barely know how to cook, food.
Xemyd Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Its been about 3 weeks and I also have dreams of her every night. The dreams are vivid and are usually of the best memories and even some sad ones too. Waking up in the morning is the icing on the cake. It doesn't matter how busy I make myself, I can't control my dreams. I know it will only get better with time but a part of me doesn't want to stop dreaming of her... I wake up and for a few seconds I'm completely happy, and then I roll over and, oh, he's not there anymore. :/ The dreams really do seem real though...
realfriends Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 *hugs*. Imagine how you will feel tomorrow after having blown the lid off of it! This is what I miss. The favorite thing of my exe was hugs. I don't receive hugs anymore. I miss the touch of another. 2
sportzhl24 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Reminding myself that it is over. That I don't have to worry about her anymore. That she isn't my problem anymore. Surviving. Staying afloat. Constantly in survival mode 1
AnyaNova Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 This is what I miss. The favorite thing of my exe was hugs. I don't receive hugs anymore. I miss the touch of another. I do miss hugs!
Chris715 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I do miss hugs! Anya didn't you start dating someone? Did that not really lead to anything?
JDPT Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Great another snow storm starting tonight. I had a few things lined up for tomorrow but it might be best for me to stay indoors. I pushed myself crutching around today. I had dinner with the family and surprisingly had a pretty decent time. On my way back home I thought of the ex for some crazy reason or perhaps surrounding restaurants subconsciously reminded me as we used to frequent them. Luckily a Rolls Royce phantom on the road distracted me all the way home, I love cars. 1
JDPT Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I do miss hugs! I sort of forgot what those are. But in confident that in time I'll get the feel the warmth of a woman who is worth my time. I'm in no rush at the moment, just trying to enjoy life and allow my body to heal. 1
somedude81 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 It's been exactly two months since my beautiful and amazing girlfriend broke up with me. I haven't seen her or heard her voice since then. These have been the worst couple of months in my entire life. I miss her so much, but I know it's over. There is no reason to have hope. All I can do is try to replace her with somebody else.
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