How are you coping today?

[Beachead]

I see this site as an emotional crutch to be honest. You can use this forum to talk about your day.

 

Me too.

 

It's certainly a good place to share and be around people who feel what we feel. We get to hear about all kinds of situations and we get to learn. Made me feel like I'd get through my own situation and be okay. I received a lot of help on my own thread but a lot of my healing came from sharing and helping others on here. Took the loneliness away and for that I'm grateful. I've felt more humanity on here in the last 3 months than I have most my life.

 

So I will remain loyal and contribute as much as I can and return because it is certainly a special place. Even if I'm doing well and out living my life. I'll come back and share as much as I can to help those who are struggling.

[igotoverit]

Me too.

 

It's certainly a good place to share and be around people who feel what we feel. We get to hear about all kinds of situations and we get to learn. Made me feel like I'd get through my own situation and be okay. I received a lot of help on my own thread but a lot of my healing came from sharing and helping others on here. Took the loneliness away and for that I'm grateful. I've felt more humanity on here in the last 3 months than I have most my life.

 

So I will remain loyal and contribute as much as I can and return because it is certainly a special place. Even if I'm doing well and out living my life. I'll come back and share as much as I can to help those who are struggling.

 

 

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

[Beachead]

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

 

Why do you say that?

[inmyownworld]

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

 

I like you . But hopefully you can find people IRL too that can help you. My one friend has been invaluable in this time.

[igotoverit]

I like you . But hopefully you can find people IRL too that can help you. My one friend has been invaluable in this time.

 

 

 

Awe, thanks. I am logging off because I need to spend some time IRL. I am making some chicken and my son is going to stay in tonight and hang out at moms with mom tonight which is cool .. I will be spending the rest of today IRL.

[hurtsbadjusthurts]

Weird day for me.

 

Started by missing my Ex(But not in an all consuming way, just miss her)

 

Then Followed by anger(More i thought about it, I'm damn angry about the whole situation, its been utterly ridiculous and how its made me feel)

 

Next came the confidence(Started feeling good about myself, realised even with whatever faults i have i'm a good person, i'm attractive. "If you don't want me, fine but i'll show you")

 

To finish off crushing sadness and tears, Lots of tears Lol(Not sure why? just hit me, hard! I think it was because i sealed a good bit of business today. First thing i used to do whenever i got a bit of success was to tell my ex)

 

Now i just feel like laughing, This whole thing as been crazy.

 

To think i was alright yesterday! Lol

 

Makes no sense? Anyone else like me? Lol

[maybejune]

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

 

Don't think that way. I like you, and I am sure other people here like you too. Sometimes we don't get replies, I think it's normal because my story is boring and the way I tell my story is boring too. I appreciate everyone replies to me and made me feel I have support here.

[igotoverit]

I don't want to connect with a male for friendship. I am only seeking platonic female friendships and I am only seeking these friendships where I plan on moving too. I know life is going to improve come summer and have come to the conclusion that my area may be contributing to my loneliness. I have also met a few females that gave me a bad impression on the area I am in. I have a few neighbors but I am kind of a loner and they are married with families. I don't go out with them as they are more like acquaintances. I have one neighbor with three kids and I pass my sons stuff down to her when he's through with them. I have a few I can turn too.

 

 

I know what I have to do and in time this particular person will be just a distant memory and I look forward to that day. I am just disgusted and feel gross.

[Beachead]

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

 

You've done alright by me as well. You're an open-minded person. Don't sweat the people that give you a bad vibe. You're here to learn and grow and become a better human being. Let the judgements come and brush it off like dust. I personally use a difference of opinion or perspective as an opportunity to practice my patience and understanding. How to remain calm in an unpleasant situation. How to diffuse tension. Skills that can come to use anywhere at anytime in life. There is always something to learn. Kids do this naturally because they don't have an ego or prior biases. They are like human-size dry sponge absorbing everything around them. That's why they learn and grow so much so quickly. And that's how I attack my life. I try to stay fluid and open minded and keep my ego in check though I can't do it nearly as well as those little 4 footers. But as long as you continue to remain open-minded as you have, you're going to learn and grow everyday.

[igotoverit]

You've done alright by me as well. You're an open-minded person. Don't sweat the people that give you a bad vibe. You're here to learn and grow and become a better human being. Let the judgements come and brush it off like dust. I personally use a difference of opinion or perspective as an opportunity to practice my patience and understanding. How to remain calm in an unpleasant situation. How to diffuse tension. Skills that can come to use anywhere at anytime in life. There is always something to learn. Kids do this naturally because they don't have an ego or prior biases. They are like human-size dry sponge absorbing everything around them. That's why they learn and grow so much so quickly. And that's how I attack my life. I try to stay fluid and open minded and keep my ego in check though I can't do it nearly as well as those little 4 footers. But as long as you continue to remain open-minded as you have, you're going to learn and grow everyday.

 

 

 

You are very wise. I find your advice very insightful, helpful, and this one was an eye opener. It is so true about the bruises. I appreciate your advice, I said it before, you give some of the best advice I've read on this site and I personally appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done without your responses. I am sure you have helped many!!!!

[igotoverit]

I feel like s*** today. I prepared a nice chicken dinner and I am trying to think positively about the future but everything was so misleading and then painful. I almost feel like I am wanting to move because of my experiences as a result of this person. I keep thinking offline about how he is just leaving work and going to pick up his gf as he spends time with her not even caring that I struggled to move on. Had he just been a responsible adult or even remembered his age and mine, he could have left the games, been straight forward and I wouldn't be suffering as I am right now. I feel bruised.

[inmyownworld]

Weird day for me.

 

Started by missing my Ex(But not in an all consuming way, just miss her)

 

Then Followed by anger(More i thought about it, I'm damn angry about the whole situation, its been utterly ridiculous and how its made me feel)

 

Next came the confidence(Started feeling good about myself, realised even with whatever faults i have i'm a good person, i'm attractive. "If you don't want me, fine but i'll show you")

 

To finish off crushing sadness and tears, Lots of tears Lol(Not sure why? just hit me, hard! I think it was because i sealed a good bit of business today. First thing i used to do whenever i got a bit of success was to tell my ex)

 

Now i just feel like laughing, This whole thing as been crazy.

 

To think i was alright yesterday! Lol

 

Makes no sense? Anyone else like me? Lol

 

I'm sorry. Sounds like you are having a rough day. I definitely have had similar ones. I usually go to bed early hoping that tomorrow will be better. I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

[inmyownworld]

I just feel sad and lonely today. I don't know if I should try to even think about dating or just wallow a bit more. My gf said she will give me until March to wallow. I hope it's not that long. The cold and snowy weather doesn't help at all.

[hurtsbadjusthurts]

I'm sorry. Sounds like you are having a rough day. I definitely have had similar ones. I usually go to bed early hoping that tomorrow will be better. I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

 

Thanks for the kind words. Do feel really low today, its hard. So just reading a few nice words has made a big difference. Thank you.

 

Time just seem to be going so slow. Not sure that i'm really living atm, feels like everything is stuck. Also realised at some point today i don't think i've really smiled in a long time(Honestly cant remember the last time i did). Let alone feel happy, not even for five minutes :-( I think about her practically every moment. It hurts a lot.

 

 

Thank god for this thread and you guys! Hope everyone is okay?

[maybejune]

I feel like s*** today. I prepared a nice chicken dinner and I am trying to think positively about the future but everything was so misleading and then painful. I almost feel like I am wanting to move because of my experiences as a result of this person. I keep thinking offline about how he is just leaving work and going to pick up his gf as he spends time with her not even caring that I struggled to move on. Had he just been a responsible adult or even remembered his age and mine, he could have left the games, been straight forward and I wouldn't be suffering as I am right now. I feel bruised.

 

It's hard when those things come to you mind, they can simply ruin a good day.

 

You have us here listening to you, we understand your struggles, your feelings. People, are not the way we thought they are, they are out of our control, they don't think about us at all. And that's it.

 

Do you want to listen to some meditation music? It may help you get over the anxiety at this moment.

[clist8511]

Just thought I would drop in and see how everyone is, I hope we all managed to achieve at least one thing, no matter how small, today.

 

Sending love to all x

[clist8511]

Man, this is horrible.

 

With every day that passes, I worry more that she's finally met someone. I think it was better when I thought she was already with someone else. I daren't get in touch with her in case she has met someone, by now.

 

 

The worst thing is that it's nothing to do with me if she has. I'm not a close friend, I'm not her partner, I'm not a relative; she doesn't have to (and won't) tell me anything if I were to ever ask.

 

I still run over in my mind what she must have meant by "just like you, I'm taking it one day at a time" - I hope it means she misses me but then I realise whether or not she does, it doesn't matter. She's not coming back.

 

Sometimes I feel like just 'to hell with it' and telling her - "I want us to try again, I love you, I miss you" but... that's not an approach that works with break ups. I know that much. It's up to them to come back. The dumpee has no power. I think shall I pretend to be friends? Then I'd have some company at least, but the last time we tried that she flirted with people on her phone in front of me and she went home and I felt lonely and rejected. So that isn't an option.

 

What is the answer? I wish I knew what it was.

 

I went for my first run today. I felt great at the time and I am proud of myself for doing so but now I've just hit bottom. It's always like this at night. Always.

[Beachead]

You are very wise. I find your advice very insightful, helpful, and this one was an eye opener. It is so true about the bruises. I appreciate your advice, I said it before, you give some of the best advice I've read on this site and I personally appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done without your responses. I am sure you have helped many!!!!

 

I appreciate that. As long as it serves you in some positive way, that's all that matters to me.

 

Stay strong

[clist8511]

I am using this site as practice. People don't really like me on this site but I can learn to pick my personality up and connect with people more in real life.

 

I like you too. You've given me some thoughtful and insightful advice.

[igotoverit]

Thank you all. I have been offline a bit more today. I have been self reflecting. I have DBT therapy tomorrow. As far as meditation goes, I am not quite ready for it. I have already talked about this with both my counselor and DBT coaches. Neither think it's a good idea until I have conquered mindfulness. Which would be easy if I didn't have this cloud over me.

 

 

I am self reflecting and realizing how important it is to clear yourself from those people who are hurting you.

 

I am trying to redirect my thoughts from him and onto other areas of my life. It's hard to do that when you like someone and like thinking about them.

 

 

I think that's why it would have been easier if we had a conversation and he just told me what was happening. My thoughts wouldn't be all over the place. I'd have had my answer and moved on. I think so anyways.

[igotoverit]

Happy Graduation day to me. I graduated to an established member. yay!

[maybejune]

Yeah, it's a sh*tty feeling. I have that too, except I am very sure my ex is enjoying his time with someone new. Whatever.

 

You know, when your ex doesn't appreciate you and your effort to the relationship, all those good stuff in your head are just your imagination -- I say that to myself. Of course, like you, I hope I have second chance to make it work, but my ex didn't think the same way, he never gave our relationship a chance to work out.

 

I went to gym after work, first time in a month probably. I was sick earlier, and was so beaten down last month, and I still think about my failed relationship during gym class, but I really feel better than last month, my mind is less anxious -- some progress, aha. I will continue going to gym. You will too, right?

 

 

Man, this is horrible.

 

With every day that passes, I worry more that she's finally met someone. I think it was better when I thought she was already with someone else. I daren't get in touch with her in case she has met someone, by now.

 

 

The worst thing is that it's nothing to do with me if she has. I'm not a close friend, I'm not her partner, I'm not a relative; she doesn't have to (and won't) tell me anything if I were to ever ask.

 

I still run over in my mind what she must have meant by "just like you, I'm taking it one day at a time" - I hope it means she misses me but then I realise whether or not she does, it doesn't matter. She's not coming back.

 

Sometimes I feel like just 'to hell with it' and telling her - "I want us to try again, I love you, I miss you" but... that's not an approach that works with break ups. I know that much. It's up to them to come back. The dumpee has no power. I think shall I pretend to be friends? Then I'd have some company at least, but the last time we tried that she flirted with people on her phone in front of me and she went home and I felt lonely and rejected. So that isn't an option.

 

What is the answer? I wish I knew what it was.

 

I went for my first run today. I felt great at the time and I am proud of myself for doing so but now I've just hit bottom. It's always like this at night. Always.

[igotoverit]

Yeah, it's a sh*tty feeling. I have that too, except I am very sure my ex is enjoying his time with someone new. Whatever.

 

You know, when your ex doesn't appreciate you and your effort to the relationship, all those good stuff in your head are just your imagination -- I say that to myself. Of course, like you, I hope I have second chance to make it work, but my ex didn't think the same way, he never gave our relationship a chance to work out.

 

I went to gym after work, first time in a month probably. I was sick earlier, and was so beaten down last month, and I still think about my failed relationship during gym class, but I really feel better than last month, my mind is less anxious -- some progress, aha. I will continue going to gym. You will too, right?

 

 

 

This site is starting to hurt me more then it is helping me. I feel more stuck when I read lines about he's surely seeing someone else and all of this advice has me thinking more about my situation then I thought it would. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read and respond to me but I am going to take a brief break from LS and sometime offline. Away from the pain a short while.

[maybejune]

This site is starting to hurt me more then it is helping me. I feel more stuck when I read lines about he's surely seeing someone else and all of this advice has me thinking more about my situation then I thought it would. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read and respond to me but I am going to take a brief break from LS and sometime offline. Away from the pain a short while.

 

Take care! Don't let other's comment impact you. Everyone has their own opinion, and no need to take them seriously.

[anonymousbear00101100]

She finished moving out yesterday. We talked for the last time for about an hour. She'd gone through some of my stuff while packing and found an open box of condoms and she was upset. She said she also found my Tinder profile and saw a picture of me with a girl on someone's social media. She was pretty upset and thought I was purposefully trying to leave breadcrumbs to make her feel bad. I told her the condoms were a precaution, I'd deleted my Tinder after a few hours and the girl in the picture wasn't who she thought.

 

She apologized and we started talking about how much we loved and missed each other and how hard its been for each of us. We had really good sex. We cried in each others arms for a long while before she finally had to go. I knew all this would set me back but I didn't care.

 

Since then I feel like everywhere I go people are staring at me and hate me. She was always my voice of reason that gave me the confidence to be myself. She always told me how good I looked or how smart I was. Now that she's gone I keep doubting and shaming myself and I can't stop.

 

Even going to the gym doesn't help. I've gone to the same place everyday for years and felt at home. Now I feel the eyes of everyone there judging me and laughing at me.

 

I have no more passion left. I can't bring myself to get off the couch. I'm already way behind in school and the semester is barely a week in. I can't force myself to eat anything or be bothered to clean things around my apartment. No longer do I have a positive outlook on things. I feel so alone.

 

I know all the reasons we broke up but they don't feel real anymore. I don't remember feeling held back because I no longer have the ambition to do the things I wanted to previously. I don't remember any of the negative things about her. She was impossible to be with but I still loved her and she still loved me.

 

I know where I'm at -- bargaining and denial. I know the advice -- take things a day at a time. I hope things start to get better for me. I don't just want to get over this, I want to be a better person on the other side.