Jdoublenn Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Does anyone else wish their ex would reach out despite what happened? Or feel so utterly worthless at times because they left you like you were nothing at all? I fell asleep for an hour and woke up feeling horrible. YES YES YES. Everyday of our breakup I thought this way. Trust me though, even if they act like it, you're not easily forgotten.
jjgitties Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Today was really really bad. I dont know why? I can't explain it. I felt like crap knowing I will never see her or hear her again. I really need to grow the **** up.
Jdoublenn Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Today was really really bad. I dont know why? I can't explain it. I felt like crap knowing I will never see her or hear her again. I really need to grow the **** up. Less about growing up and more about overcoming this tough point. ((hugs))
Logo Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 What are you looking for Logo? It's WAY easier for guys to get girls imo. You can go older, you can go younger etc. Are you in your 30's? Me and my friends find that it's the opposite problem - not enough guys, but tons of girls left over. Tell me where those women are. Perhaps it depends on the part of the country or world you live in. I’m not looking for anything out of this world, just someone who can be my best friend, someone I can trust, someone with a good head on her shoulders, who’s smart and open minded, kind, and someone I can be physically attracted to. I don’t think it’s much of an ask. 1
Beachead Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 (edited) YES YES YES. Everyday of our breakup I thought this way. Trust me though, even if they act like it, you're not easily forgotten. She sure made me feel she did. Worse, it's the feeling that she chose to. Edited December 21, 2017 by Beachead
wishyouneverleft Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 She sure made me feel she did. Worse, it's the feeling that she chose to. Trust me, he's right. Psychologically speaking, if she doesn't, its because she's suppressing the negative feelings. Whether she used you or genuinely felt something is something your gut would have to tell you. If (and I mean IF because people go to the grave never looking themselves in the mirror and stuck in the same behavioral patterns until death) she wakes up and finally looks in the mirror, quietly opens up that jar of emotions she's learned to suppress and avoid, her world will come crashing down. They don't call them emotional breakdowns for nothing. I hope you can take solace in that. I know for a fact my ex is going to pop in a few years. By what I hear some of it already surfaced. 1
todreaminblue Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 i can do this , I am a different person now than the woman he left I am never going to be his second best...i am worthy of more than that.....i forgive him for all the past......i care about him he is the father of my girls....he has a good heart but him and i were not meant to be ..... i want what he cant give me...marriage and fidelity...deb 2
wishyouneverleft Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 I have never taken this long to get over a woman. This love thing is completely tormenting me. How long until I stop thinking about her? How long until the longing that things would be different subside? Its so embarrassing. She was perfect for me. Not perfect in the sense that she had no flaws, no, her imperfections were my perfections. I miss her like mad at times. I have nothing to look at, nothing left for months, and yet she still lurks in my heart. I go back and forth with regret and resignation on this matter. Regret sometimes that I ever gave her a chance and let things get so deep, and sometimes I resign and accept what happened and look at it with a blissful outlook on this whole experience that in my 30s at least I felt unconditional love. 1
VisionL09 Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 It's been almost 14 weeks since my ex broke up with me and i've noticed that i always get a really strong urge to contact her whenever i feel negative emotions not related to our relationship or breakup. like for example, the other day, i felt really stressed out and i wanted to run to her. It's like i got so used to her being my "happy place" and i start to really really miss her whenever life hits me with its bullsh*t
todreaminblue Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 when its over said and done, one day you wont feel that heart break, you wont feel you missed the one.... you will look at them they will look at you, and there will be nothing but memories between you two. no heart flutters no excitement no pain, the day you realize what you lost is what you gained. the love goggles come off when you realize how time flies, some loves are meant to last and other loves meant to die, and after time has flown, you just might know what was right was done, the love you felt no longer there, no heart flutters, not one........deborah took over a decade for me to find this out.....and im glad that today happened..now i know..deb 1
amaysngrace Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 I have got to say....I coped this week! Not on an emotional level, well that too, but on a wood-sawing level!! I had to cope wooden baseboards for my family room and they really turned out quite well for a first timer. I'm a pretty good coper I hope you are too! 1
sorano Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 I’m done with relationships. So much effort since the breakup and nothing, zero, zilch to show for it. And on top of all that, my last 2 relationships had ended badly, leaving me picking up the emotional pieces. I’m content being alone. Push comes to shove I’ll just rub one off every once in a while and life goes on. That’s it. **** this whole thing called partnership or relationship. Every normal eligible female my age has already been married or has children. The proverbial ship has sailed. It’s time to be realistic and admit that romance like that in the movies is just that, fiction. Perhaps it exists, but for one reason or another it’s not in the cards, just wasn’t meant to be. I don’t even feel like going to any New Years Eve party. Might just stay at home and watch Netflix. Logo whats up. Hope all is well. Im sure you read my posts on here. I said this a while ago. For me, relationships are over. Done. Finished. I am with you and agree with you 100% The last relationship, I gave and gave. I gave it my all. I tried to be the best man and show this person that good people still do exist. True gentleman. someone that would listen to you, be your rock, ask you how your day was, stand behind your decisions and make sure you are happy. Maybe those traits are not sought after. Maybe I gave it to the wrong person. Or maybe I just gave too much and didn't put myself first or love myself more. I don't know the answers anymore. I just know, there is nothing else to give. I do not have the energy or motivation to go through this again. some say you must get up and try again. Get back out there. Is that a rule set in stone? No. why are we forced to believe that we must get married. Have kids at a certain age. Its not a rule. For those who want that, god bless. I hope you get it. But its not mandatory. I cannot go through the stupid dating process again. Talk, meet, have a drink, exchange numbers, meet the friends then family, go out to eat and spend money, etc etc. You know the game. And that's what it is. A game. Its the same stupid cycle that we all go through with different people. same lines, same ****. I put all this effort into a relationship to just get dumped and thrown away like an old pair of sneakers. Not a F given. They don't even know you exist anymore. I understand that you cannot force anyone to love you. If that person is not happy, they leave. I just have a hard time when someone talks to you about marriage, having kids, saying how you are different than any other man and how you changed them, etc etc etc etc etc etc blah blah blah. They made you feel like a king. Out of nowhere, bam! You are gone. No more. I cannot do it. New years eve is all hype. Dont worry. its just another day. The sun will rise the next day, people will forget there resolutions and go to work. Once 10pm hits, I will be in bed. watching tv. The ship has sailed for me and I am done. I cannot nor do I have the energy to put forth into another relationship. Prayers to all who are struggling during the holiday season. I am not telling everyone to give up. This is my decision and how I feel. 4
Wuku Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 2 years today since we split up, and at last I’m feeling better about it. It’s taken all this time to really come to a level of acceptance and indifference. We very occasionally text now, it’s always polite and friendly, and I’m pleased about that. She is moving away and will start a new life, and I wish her well. She will always have a place in my heart, I will always carry a torch for her, but I feel I can move on now. I still have moments of sadness, but they are fewer and further between now, and I am finally healing. Good luck to everyone else here! 1
sorano Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 You know what I am excited about? Getting my new job. Buying a house and starting bodybuilding again after getting my torn shoulder treated and my back situated. I was thrown a few injuries and now I am back on track. supplements all lined up on my counter. I can restock a vitamin store. seeing those supplements lined up is sexy. My friday night date, well, is 130lbs. Makes me sweat. No its not a woman. Its the dumbbell on the last rack that nobody uses because its too heavy for them. Next week is my vitamin doctor appointment. Getting the good stuff. intravenous vitamins. Testosterone shots and IGF1 shots. All legal and prescribed by my doctor. This is what I am excited about. Not taking a woman out for a drink. They don't deserve it and can go inhale water for all I care. 1
jjgitties Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 Dear diary. So, today is much better. I think the fact that she unfriended me really helped a lot. I was constantly dwelling on should i and how would it be interpreted if i unfriend her and what will she think of me as a real ******* for cutting all contact and unfriending her on FB after we used that so much to communicate. it also removed the temptation to just randomly click and make up some excuse to start chatting with her again and go back to square one. and the constant appearance of her on my list of messenger friends was really driving me crazy. the best thing that happened to me last two weeks was her unfriending me. i hope she didnt unfriend me because her husband discovered the FB and messenger chat history. there was really nothing naughty or sexual in the chats. just a lot of chatting about personal things like the past music, movies, dreams, aspirations, hopes and stuff like that.
SixxChick Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 The holidays are upon us. And, for me, it has really been a time of reflection. The magic touch of time has helped me heal from the horrible circumstance of being used in a "relationship" that was nothing but rebound. If it's any consolation to those whose hearts have recently been broken, trust me. Although you may feel bruised and battered, it does get better. Time to be selfish. Time to focus on YOU. On top of everything else, I had a business partner lose it this year and resign in October. Going through everything he handed over to me (including his laptop), I can only describe it as a diary of a madman. After 24 years with the guy, I can see it for what is was and am applying a lot of what I learned in this forum to this circumstance. NO CONTACT. I just need to keep the ship afloat and move on. But, it was just another whack in the head with complete and utter betrayal. What is up with this, and how much more must I need to learn? I already feel as though I have a PhD in this crap. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you feel weak now, don't worry. With the right tools, attitude adjustment and seeing everything for what it is, you will get there. Strength and honor. And, Merry Christmas. 3
whatnot Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 yesterday.....and today.....(I think it's a process?)......yesterday I turned down a deal on a very nice toy. When I did that.....things changed for me.....in a way I'm unaccustomed to feeling. It's kinda like....."This is it. No more toys. Those days are behind me now.....forever" It's both freeing....and different in a way that's......different. I'm changing. 1
divegrl Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 I seem to be alternating between having a good day and then having a bad day. Good day, bad day, good day, bad day. I am really starting to notice that the timing of breakups seem to affect how well I cope. Break ups in the fall/winter, take an especially large toll on me. Probably because I am more isolated, maybe I just have time to ruminate more. Maybe I get a bit of seasonal depression during the winter, and I project these feelings of sadness to the loss of a partner. I just miss him. I been on LS for a while now... and its kinda nice to see how I was in pain and was able to recover. It's been 3 guys now. I feel the pain of not being with him. I feel the pain of not being with him. I feel the pain of not being with him. I feel the pain of not being with him. And I just want it to go away. He keeps popping into my mind. Every time I am mindful of my thoughts. Bring my breath back to my body and try the best I can to focus on the present moment. I just feel extremely lonely right now. I know I am not alone,,, but I feel this way. And it seems like no matter how much I focus on the emotions... they don't seem to subside. But just typing this has made me feel better. 1
fieldoflavender Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 So fed up with online dating. Who else does want to move on and WANTS to get far far away from their ex (and only remembers them when you kind of feel crappy) except there is no one good? I won't say no one better - because to be honest, almost a hobo is better than the crap he was, but our standards should be raised. I wish I tried harder when I was younger to look for someone so it wouldn't be so hard now. People marry for all sorts of reasons, but I really can't just marry for the sake of doing it. Who cares if all looks good on paper but you just want to run far away from the person? I did have the 1 month of - oh I still care about this person etc. but I do NOT care about him anymore! I just want to move on, but it's so hard when the people out there suck. =(
Timshel Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 i can do this , I am a different person now than the woman he left I am never going to be his second best...i am worthy of more than that.....i forgive him for all the past......i care about him he is the father of my girls....he has a good heart but him and i were not meant to be ..... i want what he cant give me...marriage and fidelity...deb You have always been worthy of more than that. Todreaminblue, since my first day on this forum, you have been a light. A Light. Thank You. 2
Chilli Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 There's only 2 people here that know how things went, but there's no one that knows how things were, hell l couldn't even explain it if l wanted to. But , your in my head you little shyt , and l miss you, for all your goods. l made her a card today and sent it, she'll be alone for christmas but now she'll at least have my card. But what's really hitting me, is that l can't replace her. Sure l could be with someone, but just someone has never been what l want.It's biting , hard. And l wonder if she feels it too, She spurted off all this bullshyt of why we shouldn't be, but we both know it wasn't true and neither of us are gonna just strut on out into the world and find this again . We;ll probably never find this again now, we aren't 20 any more , it was a gift from the gods that we should've been bowing down and thanking them for. But it wasn't all perfect , but then you show me what looks like perfect and l'll show you a divorce later on , for sure. l miss her and her ways , l even miss the crazy ones, reflections a strange thing isn't it. So are they thinking of us too right now, and remembering , regretting , have they dropped the act and , do they cry , missing . Sometimes l feel she might be , but l don't know. 2
fieldoflavender Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 There seems so many guys who still remember their ex's. I feel like mine probably moved on VERY quickly or who even knows. He was such a wimp in the end and coward and he never could face his own issues. He would just always run away from them. When I think about it, I get so mad that I dated such a loser. Not even just dated - got engaged to one. I am so disgusted with myself when I think about it. What was I thinking? I wish I could at least have one of those relationships - where you go - oh it did not work out we grew apart etc. No, I always have to end with a nasty bang and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I thought I improved from the first ex, except I downgraded way more. 1
Chilli Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Yeah , dunno , mines only been 5 or 6wks officially and l know she;ll still be talking about me . We'd talked about marriage too , and l'm sorry field,it ain't easy stuff is it. Maybe 3rd time lucky for you eh , there is something about the number 3 in this stuff, it happened for me like that. And hey , at least you didn't end up marrying him eh . 1
What_Did_I_Do Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 I hate this time of year now. Used to be my favourite. Commercials and advertising of families gathered round to celebrate the holidays. Loving couples embracing. I'll hold it together for my adult children but secretly count away the hours till it's all over. I miss him but not the fake promises he made. 62 hours to go. 2
Chilli Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 l'm sorry what did. l hate it to now , dread it. my daughter has to have a split christmas between ex w and me My family are 3hours away and not that l even like driving that on a chritsmas day so l don't , but if l id it'd only be me and my daughter, it use to be our little family.
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