How are you coping today?

[JDPT]

We all have to place our hands on the burner enough times that we learn that more harm will come than good.

 

I think I have gotten to the place where I am comfortable with the fact that my ex would have to contact me, because I am not getting in touch with him again to have him ignore me and start my healing process from square one again.

 

I'm sorry, though, that you're hurting.

 

Same here. I would rather jump off a bridge than ever contacting my ex. This time around my pride is kicking in big time. Again, I would rather eat dirt than contact her, I rather be tortured in a chamber than contact her, I would rather paper cuts than contact her, well you get the idea. I had a weak moment last night, or perhaps a bored moment?

I'll be sure to be more vigilant and diligent with regards to keeping NC.

Luckily, and to my surprise I am not hurting. I would actually have to agree with whoever that guy is, she is indeed a nice piece. I suppose it's time for the next person to enjoy her, I can live with that.

[AnyaNova]

Okay.

 

My levels are going down more than I'd like. I've taken another dose of oral (b12, guys, get your minds out of the gutter ), and am going to curl up with that and lie down in the dark. No later than 8:30 or 9:00.

 

Then I will begin that assignment and do the best I can with it, so I have something to turn in.

[JDPT]

Okay.

 

My levels are going down more than I'd like. I've taken another dose of oral (b12, guys, get your minds out of the gutter ), and am going to curl up with that and lie down in the dark. No later than 8:30 or 9:00.

 

Then I will begin that assignment and do the best I can with it, so I have something to turn in.

 

Pace yourself, a little rest is always good before starting a new school assignment. I think you are doing everything you possibly can to keep your B levels within range.

[AnyaNova]

Pace yourself, a little rest is always good before starting a new school assignment. I think you are doing everything you possibly can to keep your B levels within range.

 

I am. I really hope these crashes become a thing of the past.

 

I should have known one was coming on at the gym. That blankety blank stupid song "Let Her Go" that I have to admit I actually secretly like, but I hate it to, because it is so close to what my ex very well may have been feeling right after our last night and I knew something was up when I had to make a big deal of saying something about how sick I was of that song...

 

because otherwise, I would have started crying right there. Even with the big "cover" it was a very close thing. I don't figure my trainer probably wants to deal with crying women and long involved tales of bizarre and inexplicable relational ends and confusing exes.

 

I am doing my best. I have taken enough oral B's, that if I can absorb any of them, I will be awake all night, but at least I will get my assignment done. If I can't, then I will get my assignment done through a thick veil of stupid oxygenated red blood cell deprived tears.

 

I know this deficiency took years to build up (like starting perhaps when I was about two and had major failure to thrive until at least four or five when I finally began to catch up--physically that is, never had any problems thriving intellectually). You know, now that I think about it, I can remember as early as 8 having these strange episodes where I would be sad and crying and have no clue why I was crying and trying to cast about for a reason.

 

So I know it will take a long time to provide my body enough to not have these crashes (that come with other nasty symptoms like numbness, sharp pains and coldness of my hands and feet and stuff), but I am just really tired of this.

 

Apologies. I think I should probably just title each of these with a low b vitamin rant warning.

[AnyaNova]

Assignment DONE!

 

Due assignments: Score this semester

 

Me: 2

 

B Vitamin deficiency: 0!!!

 

Take that stupid brain fog, depression, and cognitive impairment. Even when I'm cognitively impaired, I'm pretty good!

[ithappenedagain]

I must say... Today wasnt too bad!

 

Got approved for a new apartment today, although I am still weighing my options as to if I want to live in the same area as her. (I think I might)

 

Outside of the normal early morning thoughts of her, and then the late afternoon early evening anxiety rush (seems to happen when the sun goes down) I got by today pretty well.

 

Heres to hoping for another good day tomorrow!

[bubblesbursted]

Worse than ever...2nd day of Nc and i feel sick. Dont want to get up from the bed. Just want to stay and cry whole day. Cant wait for the time when I would actually start feeling better.

[iouaname]

I was talking to some mutual friends tonight and went on a little mini-rant about my ex. I feel it was justified but at the same time, I know that nobody comes out looking good when ranting about an ex. A little disappointed in myself because the fact that I ranted just shows that I care - which, I don't want to anymore.

 

Oh well. I'm no longer in communication with him and since I feel that I've OFFICIALLY let go of a desire to reconcile, I guess it doesn't matter what he thinks of me.

[Eclypse]

How do you deal with finding things of theirs around the house? I had thought myself as mostly over her then I stumbled on a valentines day card she wrote to me a few years ago. She said how lucky she was to have me and how happy she was that we'd be spending our lives together. I totally lost it and started bawling my eyes out right then. I wish things had been better. There's a reason I broke up and I feel it was the right decision... but goodness that shook me deep when I found that. I don't cry often at all.

[ayudorama]

Yesterday night I felt everything at once. All of the emotions, mostly conflicting ones. After all is said and done, I truly miss my best friend. Losing someone I love in the romantic sense of the word, that I could live with. Losing my best friend.. It's a struggle.

 

Today I feel better. Most of my days now are spent feeling either nothing, or gratitude. Fluctuates between these two states. Don't know why those tears surfaced the night before. Almost thought I had a relapse.

[H245]

Worse than ever...2nd day of Nc and i feel sick. Dont want to get up from the bed. Just want to stay and cry whole day. Cant wait for the time when I would actually start feeling better.

 

I've felt your pain not too long ago. Going on a month BU and 5 days NC. All I did was lay in bed when the BU first happened. I did not have any motivation in life to do a single thing except lay in bed and be depressed and cry as well till 3-4 in the morning. If you read my threads you can see everything I went through since the Fall. I felt so hopeless, but now, I do feel kinda hopeful as the pain is more tolerable. It's still there, but it gets lesser and lesser. These forums help as an outlet over trying to contact your ex so be sure to post here often.

 

As for how I am coping today? I'm sick and missing work for a second day in a row now. And I am currently debating to skip trivia tonight from meetup.com since my ex has signed up as well. But I also begin to feel I need to face her head on and show that she does not affect me and that I am making positive strides to get better whereas she is not.

[ithappenedagain]

Well it has been a week since I moved out.

 

What a LONG week it has been

 

I miss her dearly, but am slowly accepting that she isn't coming back.

 

Why is it that I still have her on a pedestal and am blocking out the bad things about her that I didn't like!?!?

[k10k]

We hung out on Saturday and yesterday, I thought there was perhaps a chance. But he phoned this morning and stated that he felt guilty (yes, he is already dating and sleeping with someone else) and he didn't want to us to just go back to old patterns. I gave it one last try to attempt to work on our stuff - but he just said that I need to let go now. "I don't think you will be able to change and it will be unfair of me to expect that" "I love you but I know that this won't be healthy for either of us" "I'll miss you but I know that distance will bring clarity" - all valid points I guess.

So here we go again, I went from hopeful back to sad in the space of a few hours. Back on the NC emotional rollercoaster ride.

[jphcbpa]

Well it has been a week since I moved out.

 

What a LONG week it has been

 

I miss her dearly, but am slowly accepting that she isn't coming back.

 

Why is it that I still have her on a pedestal and am blocking out the bad things about her that I didn't like!?!?

 

write her a letter (DO NOT SEND IT). write about all the things you did not like. keep adding to the letter as things come to you. process it with a close/trusted friend. this will help you take her off that pedestal and see the R for its real value. it will bring clarity

[Saurren]

Coffee is my friend!!!!!!

[JDPT]

Not too bad today. I had a follow up appointment with the doctor with regards to questions I had about my fractured tibias. Luckily, I saw a different doctor who put my mind at easy and was easier to talk to. He took his time to address and explain certain things that the other idiot doctor neglected to straighten out to me. I'm diligently using my crutches everywhere I go. And for some reason Gd uncomfortable when people hold the door for me. Clearly, I say "thanks" with a smile. I suppose I can't wait to heal so I can get back to business.

[AnyaNova]

Just pulling out of a pretty bad vitamin crash.

 

Had my b12 earlier, but it is taking awhile for them to work and my head is hurting like nothing else.

 

My mood is taking a little longer to flip this time, but sometimes when I've sunk down really low, that happens.

 

I can't wait for this part to be over.

 

It is exhausting. Positively exhausting. I'm exhausted.

 

And even though I've had my shot, my brain is still in that primal mode. I want the candy bar (this time I really mean a candy bar, the gluten free dark chocolate raspberry, that I think if I can muster up the energy to go to the store, I will buy myself one), I want the other candy bar (but not so much the ex this time. Possibly the crush. I just want someone that I am emotionally close to and intimate with to snuggle with). I want a nice big meal. And I want to curl up and do nothing with my cat.

 

The last one, I might actually do. I don't have any assignments due tomorrow, and usually if I'm putting off work that I shouldn't I feel bad about it. I don't feel bad. I think my body might actually need the rest after the crash.

 

Ha! So after the crash I want my crush and a candy bar (okay, that is starting to sound like a certain song, but I'm not going there!)

[lovebirds]

I am okay. I love myself, I love my friends, I am relatively happy. And I did not break down the last two times I saw him and could act normal. No crying afterwards!

[Xemyd]

Not coping very well.

 

 

I've suffered from chronic tension headaches for the past 8 years now. Within the last month and a half or so I've noticed that migraines are more common. Normally I get headaches everyday, not overly painful, tolerable, with 1 or 2 migraines throughout the week.

 

Now I've been getting migraines the majority of the time. Migraines 5-6 times a week and a tolerable headache thrown in there.

 

I've gone on prescription meds for them, only I have a horrible reaction to them.

 

These headaches need to stop because as soon as I start feeling the pain I start missing my ex boyfriend. He used to give me the best massages. I've gone to professionals before for massages and they only made my pain worse. But my ex, I don't know how he did it, he's not a masseuse or trained in massage in any way. I want to call him, I feel like asking him if we could be friends with massage benefits. I'm so tired of this pain, and I feel like it is making my break up worse. I've been fairly good with the BU since it happened but now that I'm getting these migraines I find myself losing it, wanting to call him every night...

[AnyaNova]

Not too bad today. I had a follow up appointment with the doctor with regards to questions I had about my fractured tibias. Luckily, I saw a different doctor who put my mind at easy and was easier to talk to. He took his time to address and explain certain things that the other idiot doctor neglected to straighten out to me. I'm diligently using my crutches everywhere I go. And for some reason Gd uncomfortable when people hold the door for me. Clearly, I say "thanks" with a smile. I suppose I can't wait to heal so I can get back to business.

 

I can't imagine having a physical injury like this at the same time as the mental injury of the breakup. Ironically says the woman having vitamin crashes every other hour, i seems.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

And praying for all of us that the God and the universe finds each of us someone so much better for us than our exes. Someone who won't hurt us and devastate us and leave us crying in the dark.

 

Someone who will be there through the difficult times and reminds us of the joy in life.

[ayudorama]

And praying for all of us that the God and the universe finds each of us someone so much better for us than our exes. Someone who won't hurt us and devastate us and leave us crying in the dark.

 

Someone who will be there through the difficult times and reminds us of the joy in life.

Somehow that made me tear up. I'm a huge believer in the power of prayer, Aameen to that!

[JDPT]

I'm not religious/spiritual but I can certainly appreciate your prayers.

[JDPT]

Just got back from the movies. Feeling slightly down due to a scene I saw at a trailer, it really bothered me for some reason. I plan on going to bed soon and I'm confident I'll wake up feeling better in the morning.

[JDPT]

I can't imagine having a physical injury like this at the same time as the mental injury of the breakup. Ironically says the woman having vitamin crashes every other hour, i seems.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

And praying for all of us that the God and the universe finds each of us someone so much better for us than our exes. Someone who won't hurt us and devastate us and leave us crying in the dark.

 

Someone who will be there through the difficult times and reminds us of the joy in life.

 

 

 

I was depressed for two weeks, deeply depressed when I saw the MRI images for the first time and manage the appreciate the severity of my injuries. I couldn't believe it, will I heal fully? will I get to walk normally as I used to without crutches, will I get to run again which is something I love doing. So many question that I ask myself to this day. I try to make the best of it and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that perhaps this is life telling me to slow down and nurture myself because no one else will if I don't.

 

 

I now understand how we take so much for granted. The substantial amount of abuse we at times put ourselves and bodies through. With our BUs the emotional abused we endured yet was sugar coated by "love" and the physical when we don't provide our bodies with proper nutrients or the rest it deserves.

 

 

I'm injured both emotionally and physically. However, I'm so glad I don't miss her or need her. I don't need her to take care of me, matter of fact I never thought of her or had moments of needing her to be with me during these difficult moments. I propel myself forward as I always have in life through whatever adversity, and opposition I will manage to succeed. My mind will heal, my heart will heal, my body will heal and I can't wait for that day when I'm once again strong as an ox to take on the world.

[acidios]

i woke up from the reason that she was on my dreams..i dont know why my mind plays this bad game for me.today is my day off from work and my back is killing me from yesterday's hard work i hope that the rest of my day will be good.