fieldoflavender Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Well I mean you can if you really want to. But if you're not over the person, maybe it's not a good idea. If I were you, either you go after the person with a real effort to get back together, but if they're made it clear they don't want to be with you, or you've made it clear to yourself you shouldn't be together, then don't do that stuff until you're fully over it. And depends on how they treated you overall too. Like with may ex, he doesn't deserve anything even if I'm over him. I'm over the terribly stupid phase of wanting to get back together which lasted 5 weeks too long, but I'm not over the anger. That may take quite a long time to get over meh. 1
fieldoflavender Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I find that every time I'm stressed these days, when other things in my life aren't going well, I wake up in the morning with anger towards him and his family. I get he's out of my life now, but I guess I still have a lot of residual anger. Oh well? Time will heal. I can only be stronger so I will see the warning signs earlier before someone blindsides and stabs me in the back again. 1
divegrl Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I will not check your Instagram. I will not check your Instagram. I will not check your Instagram. I will focus on myself. Take care of myself. Know my self worth. And know that I will not put up with your nonsense. You disappearing for 3 days was wrong. Don't tell me that I'm crazy for being upset about this. This is psychological abuse, and I refuse to put up with this again. I am very angry right now. 1
BryanSmiley Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 Hi BryanSmiley, I remember you, thank you for reaching out! I guess I have to post more then How are you doing? Liesbeth I'm doing alright. Had another short failed relationship which I'm trying to process more lightly, and have almost a smile/laugh about it. It's hard though. She was kinda the opposite in terms of, she love bombed early. It's been a real roller coaster of things to learn and handle differently if they were to occur again. I hadn't tended to see my work ex much the past 6 weeks. In many respects that's good, but it does suggest my instincts of her dating someone else in work are probably right. She's avoided walking past me with him one time which looked guilty to me. But he's married. I'm just saying to myself, just smile and politely, emotion less say Hi and walk on by. But I spotted her from a distance today, and I know what you're going through - literally just that has a jolting feeling back to negative feelings. It's horrid working with an ex, I totally empathise. Try and immerse yourself in something else and day by day take pride in there being progressively less emotion, and more physical and mental distance between you both. That's positive and what you need. Remind yourself you are okay, and as for where you are now you should not want him back, it's not healthy for you. Once you keep reminding yourself you are on a positive, proud path having learnt the 'ugly' side of someone, you'll gradually feel less when seeing him at work. I wish you the best in the coming weeks and I'm sure you'll appear then as a 'established member' so would be good exchange insights down the line still perhaps.
Chilli Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 l did a very dumb thing, put her fav song on repeat while l worked on my deck. F@ckkkkkk
fieldoflavender Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 I think I'm falling into a different danger zone. I keep thinking other people would do - but I must not settle again. That's what got me into the mess last time. Have to depend on myself for things =(
Amas5750 Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 Im having some pain. Its saturday and I feel alone. Im exhausred. I neeed to rest up today. I went for a walk. I had breakfast out. Why am i alone? I dont understand n feel its so unfair 2
EthanSPK Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 Today I feel like throwing up, literally. Everytime I remember something related to her, I feel something revolving in my stomach. Even more, I hate the idea of sex, it disgusts me. Hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few weeks, who knows.
fieldoflavender Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 I think it's like an investment. I'm thinking of investing and thinking about risk. We all took risk with these relationships and put our blind faith and trust and sometimes we got good returns, but in the end the stock CRASHED and BURNED, and we all got majorly screwed over. And lost all our capital - aka for women, years of youth, and for everyone else, time and money. Yay? Not. Well at least that'll teach us to be so trusting with our capital next time. We should protect the things we worked so hard for like our livelihoods and beware of ****ty stocks to invest in. investors beware?
Chilli Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 Probly not a bad way to go Field. l notice most people invest in bad no brainer stock. Don;t buy that garbage anymore. Although l invested in the best stock out there and l'm here too, but at last it was the best.
Chilli Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 Ahh , stock as in choosing relationships l mean.
tnt41 Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Up & down. Beyond ready to move on but not there yet. In that halfway stage of getting to know other people but not being mentally healthy enough to get to know anyone too well.
EthanSPK Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 After a shower and a cup of coffee, I'm feeling awesome. Spent the whole day in bed hating myself and the universe... or maybe I was feeling too lazy to do something useful, who knows.
Chilli Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Starting to think l've dodged a bullet. lt's not easy being 100% honest about but when l am, well ! 2
fieldoflavender Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 It was a pretty bad stock Chili, you wouldn't be here if you didn't invest in a bad stock. Some look good at first glance and then you realize prices went down down down. That's okay, we just have to be smarter next time. 2
CeciliaCylara Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 I'm feeling stronger as the days go by. It reminds me of when I was in high school and all I had to worry about was me and I didn't have any relationship drama. I was confident and happy with myself. I'm getting that back now, even after losing my first love. I was happy before and I can be happy after. 2
EthanSPK Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 It's been a rough and lonely weekend. Good thing is I had a lot of time to think about how to improve myself. It would be easier if my friends were close. Is it weird if this forum kinda fills the gap? Not completely, but it helps. Makes me feel less lonely. What I want the most is a chance to show that me being more 'light-hearted' is possible, so I can finally meet more and more people and don't feel the urge to crawl back to her. Hopefully she won't message me, I don't want to fall back into her arms again just to avoid loneliness. I know she will say 'yes', but she doesn't love me anymore. And I don't love her either, I'm so disappointed...
Logo Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 Not well. When I’m awake, I feel miserable. I try to distract myself from my troubles instead of trying to resolve them, because once I start trying I start feeling bad about myself. I feel overwhelmed and I self criticize a lot. When I’m asleep, nightmares and emotionally draining dreams haunt me. I can’t seem to find peace.
CeciliaCylara Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 At this point, the best thing I can do is focus on me and move on. He’s already left. He’s already with someone else. The only way he would come back is if he gets better, by himself, and we were meant to be. He needs space for that so I need to give it to him. He’s broken and he hid it well. He has his own battlefield. He has to learn to let go of his inner pain and anger, and it’s going to be a very long journey for him before he does. Don’t worry about him anymore. Don’t enable him anymore. He’ll be fine. My door is closed to him now, but there’s still a doorbell. I still have so many things to do for myself in the meantime. I still have a lot of growing to do before I’m even ready to be in another relationship again. I don’t want to be angry and resentful anymore. I would have built myself enough to no longer hold onto those feelings. I won’t let this experience keep me down. I don’t feel ready to look for someone else yet, but that’s okay. There’s plenty to do on my own, like working on my career, on my drawing and writing, working to own my own house and as many reptiles as I can. The breakup was one of the best things to happen to me because many doors have opened to me after and I’ve learned so much. I stood up for myself and managed to set my own boundaries. I can take care of myself. I can still be happy. I will be happy. 2
galamoosh Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 I'm crying at work going through old photos and wondering how I could have left someone so beautiful
EthanSPK Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 To keep myself distracted from my ghosts, I decided to participate in a new project my university created. It's fantastic. Now I have a chance to meet new people doing what I love. 1
fieldoflavender Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Some lame guy didn't want to return my message because he didn't like that I didn't put a comma in a message from online dating. *rolls eyes* Meh. Next? From same profession as my ex - maybe I should stay away from that profession for a while. I'm stressed about other stuff in life. And been pretty bad, but I hope the other thing in my life will get better and I can move on with my life. And maybe I will feel less anger towards him. MEH!
EthanSPK Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Some lame guy didn't want to return my message because he didn't like that I didn't put a comma in a message from online dating. *rolls eyes* Meh. Next? From same profession as my ex - maybe I should stay away from that profession for a while. I'm stressed about other stuff in life. And been pretty bad, but I hope the other thing in my life will get better and I can move on with my life. And maybe I will feel less anger towards him. MEH! Online dating sucks because of people like that one guy. Yesterday I was laughing so hard while reading Tinder reviews/profiles, everyone's so full of themselves. 1
fieldoflavender Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Yeah seriously, it makes you jaded quite fast. But I've been in this online dating business for like years and years so not a surprise to me. I mean, I should thank the guy - he actually went to his profile to update how he wish people would appreciate his love for the Oxford comma after I messaged him. Saves me an anal-retentive relationship? Better now than 10 dates in. My ex had a great profile and how he wanted a perfect partner in crime blah blah all the lovely crap and nowhere in it did he say he was going to run away all his problems and have his parents at age > 30 years old take care of his break-up. I mean sometimes don't you wish people come with stamps on their head of the things they will do in a break-up or when times get hard? Would save us all the trouble of listening to their lies.
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