How are you coping today?

[keiji]

My ex-girlfriend moved back to he country a month ago. She didn't even say goodbye. Last week there was a terrorist attack in my home town, which was also her town for over five years. My office is located five minutes from the scene in an area I visit almost on a daily basis. I honestly thought she'd ask if I was alive. I was wrong.

Edited August 22, 2017 by keiji

[trustyourself]

I am having a terrible day.

 

She has been on my mind all day and I feel like I am back to square one. I almost cried on my drive home today.

 

It has been almost 6 weeks of NC, bar one text she sent me a few weeks ago that I did not respond to.

 

I hate this. I am missing her so much today, even after the horrible things she put me through.

 

I just want these emotions and memories to fade and be gone.

 

She is already out dating, and I feel like a prize idiot for being stuck with all the loss and pain.

 

I really thought I was turning a leaf with this whole thing, and now I am feeling like this again.

 

Im tired..

[stixx]

I talked to my ex daily and she is over twice a week.

 

She wants me to meet a gal that is great and have fun. Wishes me the best since she says I am a really great guy. We was just like oil and water so w called it quits. Big deal. She is a great friend to me today. The best a friend can have.

 

The ex isnt always around. We just great friends and I really love her.

 

I do need to move on, but every gal I meet has kids,,,smokes weed for some darn reason/drugs, divorced, drinks heavy, etc.

 

Not many regular/normal woman to just be casual with at age 40-45 for a guy. Just dead beats.

 

Its ok. Football starts soon so I just gather with my FB dingbat buddies and we have fun.

[Amas5750]

****ing angry as hell.

 

Why the **** would this happen to me? Im a good person, how the **** can i be so hurt and shatteted when love has worked out all around me for other people.

 

Why the **** did my lover fall apart and detach.

 

Ive done nothing but help others my entire life

 

Now im angry as ****ing hell at the injustice of it

 

Distressed at the thoyght that ill never be abke to get over him. Pissed off beyond belief.

[BluesPower]

****ing angry as hell.

 

Why the **** would this happen to me? Im a good person, how the **** can i be so hurt and shatteted when love has worked out all around me for other people.

 

Why the **** did my lover fall apart and detach.

 

Ive done nothing but help others my entire life

 

Now im angry as ****ing hell at the injustice of it

 

Distressed at the thoyght that ill never be abke to get over him. Pissed off beyond belief.

 

You know...

 

To a certain extent I think the anger stage helps us to get over these relationships that hurt us.

 

So hang in there and embrace the anger within reason and maybe you will get to a better place and over it before too long...

[Rogo]

I am having a terrible day.

 

She has been on my mind all day and I feel like I am back to square one. I almost cried on my drive home today.

 

It has been almost 6 weeks of NC, bar one text she sent me a few weeks ago that I did not respond to.

 

I hate this. I am missing her so much today, even after the horrible things she put me through.

 

I just want these emotions and memories to fade and be gone.

 

She is already out dating, and I feel like a prize idiot for being stuck with all the loss and pain.

 

I really thought I was turning a leaf with this whole thing, and now I am feeling like this again.

 

Im tired..

 

I'm pretty sure my ex is dating too. Not totally sure. Maybe just for sex idk. That hurts a lot. I feel the exact same way you do. I'm here in pain a wreck and she is probably enjoying life and happy. I miss her so much. Think about her all the time. And just want the pain to go away already. Been about 6 weeks NC as well for me.

 

I hate this

[trustyourself]

I'm pretty sure my ex is dating too. Not totally sure. Maybe just for sex idk. That hurts a lot. I feel the exact same way you do. I'm here in pain a wreck and she is probably enjoying life and happy. I miss her so much. Think about her all the time. And just want the pain to go away already. Been about 6 weeks NC as well for me.

 

I hate this

 

Hey Rogo,

 

I actually saw her out on a date, and that is why she texted me a couple of weeks ago. "I'm sorry"

 

That should have instantly made me go cold towards her, and I felt like it definitely numbed me. But that has worn off now, and I feel like crap again. I feel a bit better today, but I still miss her. I thought it was just the companionship, but I am okay being alone. I miss her, or who she used to be at least.

 

All the crap she put me through and I still cannot hate her. WTH?

 

I have been trying to date other girls, but I am not ready. I have a great time, but I feel numb inside. I hope that fades, and I can move on.

 

Hang in there bud. I read something here that really resonated with me on this forum. "You had a life before her, you can have one after her"

 

I will be forever changed by this girl, but i hold on to hope that i can move on and find someone and that we truly deserve each other. I hope you can too!

[Rogo]

I guess 1 day at a time. Push trough each day. And hope this pain and emptiness goes away. Hopefully sooner rather than later. But I know in my mind and heart it will be later. I know this is going to take a while

[clist8511]

I thought I was coping and I have been, but I feel like I've been running away from my pain a little bit. I signed up to three different dating apps/sites - why I did this, I don't know. I don't want to be with anyone. I think I just wanted a distraction, but I've closed them all, now. It wasn't helping, and I'm not ready. All it made me do was think about her and upset me if someone didn't reply to a message - my thoughts would go down the route of "I'm never going to meet anyone!" and I'd start wishing things would have worked out with me and the ex.

 

I can't do that to myself. I had to delete them. I just want to be left alone by all those women, by relationships. I don't have it in me to fully trust another person, anymore. I have been told all sorts of things; that people will be there for me no matter what, that I'm the love of their life, etc. None of it was meant. It was all false. I can't go through hearing things like that again and then having it taken away in such a brutal way. I've had enough of lies and of pain. I just want to be left alone.

[fieldoflavender]

I think I can't just deal with anymore. At first I didn't want to be alone, now I just want to be alone. I don't want anyone to bother me =(

 

Circumstances are preventing that and I am not getting the space I need. And I am burning out from work. I don't know what to do sigh.

 

Sometimes I still blame him for making me feel so terrible but he's not there anymore. At this point, there's all this boiled up anger. I hate him. It will fade slowly I guess. But I truly hate him so much. What a waste of my life. And to be humiliated like I was. Why would I ever trust such a loser?

[Rogo]

The constant thinking of her. 24/7 is killing me. The longer this goes on the harder it gets. Not knowing what happened is wearing on me. Throwing away a relationship with kids involved with no reason. No talking abut it. Nothing. Having trouble dealing with it. Another bad day

[Rogo]

Hell I feel we should hang out at a bar and talk. We all seem to have the same problem. Just a thought. Lol. Just trying to bring a smile on your faces. It did to me.

[vickyp]

It's been 3 months of nc for me, and it's been a battle. I feel sad at times and questions of " how can he do this to me" runs threw my head. I don't miss him, but do miss the the feeling of being with someone. I've read post where people ask would you ta your ex act. I've been thinking about that question the last few days, and my answer would be no. Like others of said it will be good for a while then the same pattern would happen. I keep reminding myself why would I want to be with someone who left me 3 weeks afer my dad died and called me dumb cun# loser on a regular basis. I have been looking at myself lately and I can tell I am not the same person. Meaning I lost myself while being with him. I was more direct back then only wanted the best for myself, where I find with him I just settled for anything. Example a job I knew I would of hated. I'm slowly trying to get back to myself but it's a battle too. I really hate him for this to me. If my ex were to reach out to me I don't know if I'd respond. A part of me wants to tell him to go where the sun don't shine and the other half of me is to leav it alone. I guess I'm just scared of the the future holds. I mean here we were talking about moving in together traveling getting married and it's all gone. Like I wasted my time with a horrible person when maybe I could of been with someone who loved me. I haven't thought about dating, I'm totally not ready for that. I wish I had a Crystal ball to see what the future held. Bc I'm scared as sh## right now

[InAFog]

Was doing really well last night & today. Really felt him fading away. It was sad as hell, but it was a horizon. Saw that he had been active in a dating site. He's creeping on her already! Hate to say it, but it made me happy. Happy that they aren't as happy as he makes them out to be, or what my mind makes them out to be! Or maybe not even together anymore.... It made me feel good to think that maybe, just MAYBE, he's doing some mourning too. Or he's just a dog, which is most likely.

 

But here it is the weekend again. And even if he's not as happy, he's still with her. Doing the things we used to. I hate it!!!

 

Keep focused on the horizon! The goal!

[fieldoflavender]

Except you guys seem to be more into thinking about your ex in a way like you can't forget them. Well I haven't forgotten either, but it's more like random bursts of anger - I think I feel like he never got what he deserved for all the crap he did. Yes I played a role too and I'm paying for it but he gets to get away with it just because his family is made of money and he never really has to work hard for money. He never will understand what it actually means not to have things handed to you on a silver platter.

 

I'm more disgusted at myself that I thought I could live a life with someone like that. What was wrong with my brain?

[fieldoflavender]

It's been 3 months of nc for me, and it's been a battle. I feel sad at times and questions of " how can he do this to me" runs threw my head. I don't miss him, but do miss the the feeling of being with someone. I've read post where people ask would you ta your ex act. I've been thinking about that question the last few days, and my answer would be no. Like others of said it will be good for a while then the same pattern would happen. I keep reminding myself why would I want to be with someone who left me 3 weeks afer my dad died and called me dumb cun# loser on a regular basis. I have been looking at myself lately and I can tell I am not the same person. Meaning I lost myself while being with him. I was more direct back then only wanted the best for myself, where I find with him I just settled for anything. Example a job I knew I would of hated. I'm slowly trying to get back to myself but it's a battle too. I really hate him for this to me. If my ex were to reach out to me I don't know if I'd respond. A part of me wants to tell him to go where the sun don't shine and the other half of me is to leav it alone. I guess I'm just scared of the the future holds. I mean here we were talking about moving in together traveling getting married and it's all gone. Like I wasted my time with a horrible person when maybe I could of been with someone who loved me. I haven't thought about dating, I'm totally not ready for that. I wish I had a Crystal ball to see what the future held. Bc I'm scared as sh## right now

 

 

I agree with this line - I feel sad I was thinking about all those grandiose plans of building a life together with a horrible person - and could have used that emotional energy, time, and investment to be with someone who actually cared about me. I am overall ready for dating - I am attracted to other people, but the trust and rejection part is hard. And I'm way too busy with all this crap falling apart in my life to date right now. So I guess I'll give it 2 more months.

[Amas5750]

Cried a few times this morning. Mostly around the 'promise' of him and our future n how it fell apart. Also that im scared cos i dont know which way to go or if i can take care of myself without a man (which is crazy- i have a great job, sensible, good supportive friends n family).

 

 

Then i sat n drew in the sun for an hour. Drank peppermint tea. It was very lovely. Felt uplifted

[freebird31]

It's weird how a few weeks ago I wrote a post out about how my ex was on my mind. After I saw his mom. But lately I haven't been thinking about it. And if I do think of him, I honestly laugh. Crazy how the emotions came back so intensely though ...and now they have faded again. I would never reach out to him again like I did in the past. And make a fool of myself. At this point in my life I would rather move forward or just be alone. I'm honestly good with that.

[freebird31]

Some other guy I used to date for a couple of months actually got in touch with me. He just got out of a relationship a month ago. And wants to hang out with me over drinks. Sorry bro but I've come a long way trying to make some peace in my life and doing good for myself. Doesn't sound like the greatest idea to get close with someone who just got out of a 2-3 year relationship. Nah no thanks. So I was just pretty straight forward and told him maybe we can get a drink when his break up isn't so fresh. I was pretty transparent. But I honestly do not care.

[Fever of love]

Weekends are the worst.

 

Been together 22 years, shes been gone 9 weeks and it still hurts like the first day, life is so empty.

 

Waking up early, start missing her and wondering where she is. In bed with her new man, probably.

 

No eplxantion, she was gone in a whirlwind, and now I dont even know her address- shes gonna ghost me, after 22 years!

 

She denys theres someone else involved, but you know... that would explain the address thing, she clearly wouldnt want to tell me if she was moving in with some other bloke.

 

Man this hurts. IM a 51 year old guy, been with her sonce I was 29, Idont know anything else. Its like my cells are programmed- my concious mind understands shes gone, but when I hear neighbours come into the building, I momentarily think it's her...

 

Im not even over her. I just wish sed come home.

[Rogo]

Except you guys seem to be more into thinking about your ex in a way like you can't forget them. Well I haven't forgotten either, but it's more like random bursts of anger - I think I feel like he never got what he deserved for all the crap he did. Yes I played a role too and I'm paying for it but he gets to get away with it just because his family is made of money and he never really has to work hard for money. He never will understand what it actually means not to have things handed to you on a silver platter.

 

I'm more disgusted at myself that I thought I could live a life with someone like that. What was wrong with my brain?

 

I feel kinda the same regarding not getting what she deserved. (She for me). I mean really, I get a text message out of the blue. I was kicked to the curbe. Thrown out like a piece of trash. How someone can do that I just don't understand. Hell 1 day before this happened I had flowers sent to her work. She was so happy. Well that's what it seemed. We had 3 weeks of vacation planned. Lots of stuff we were supposed to do. With each other's kids as well. To throw all that away. She definitely didn't get what she deserved for doing this. I'm the one suffering. This is where I hope Carma comes back and kicks her to the curb. Throws her out like trash. That's my point fieldoflavender. She's not gettting what's she's deserved. It sucks im suffering and she's not.

[vickyp]

Except you guys seem to be more into thinking about your ex in a way like you can't forget them. Well I haven't forgotten either, but it's more like random bursts of anger - I think I feel like he never got what he deserved for all the crap he did. Yes I played a role too and I'm paying for it but he gets to get away with it just because his family is made of money and he never really has to work hard for money. He never will understand what it actually means not to have things handed to you on a silver platter.

 

I'm more disgusted at myself that I thought I could live a life with someone like that. What was wrong with my brain?

 

I can forget him. But I wont forget the lies and name calling and how he made me put my guard down to only break it. I don't miss him at all. I'm guessing just more mad at myself for not ending it sooner, and maybe I could of been with someone decent now.

[vickyp]

Cried a few times this morning. Mostly around the 'promise' of him and our future n how it fell apart. Also that im scared cos i dont know which way to go or if i can take care of myself without a man (which is crazy- i have a great job, sensible, good supportive friends n family).

 

 

Then i sat n drew in the sun for an hour. Drank peppermint tea. It was very lovely. Felt uplifted

 

Hang in there. It does get better. Just focus on you and do things that make or made you happy. I'm 3 mths nc and I don't cry or miss him. Just mad at myself.

[Soolaimon]

I'm not coping well today.

 

Still angry and upset that my ex has not been in contact about my sick little dog. It wouldn't have meant I would think we would suddenly get back together, it would have just showed that he cared at least a little bit. I guess he doesn't at all. I wanted someone to speak to about this, and he hasn't reached out, and I'll be damned if I ever make the initial contact.

 

My heart is broken. I feel I am constantly getting worse, not better.

 

I totally understand, I am new here and started reading from here before I post my saga

[Soolaimon]

Today i was flat and s*** at my job. Felt the loss all day. Cried intensely on the way home.

 

I move out in 2 days.

 

Cried to him at 5pm at home. He's soooo not as affected as me (5 weeks post break up)

 

Then we hugged and a little bit snuggled. I query lose my dignity a little- asking for a hug.

 

I just love the feel of him .

 

I think im still partially in love, or alot in love QUOTE]

 

How do you cope with the hugs knowing that it is over? I would do the same, take any hug I could get as I am weak and still love the guy to bits but my heart would be melting and breaking at the same time, it's so hard.