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How are you coping today?

Riou

By Riou
in Coping

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Chilli Established Member

Chilli

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You let it work itself through l think is best clist, have ta make sure l put the s in that one, :D , sorry couldn't resist.

l'm not all that sure if accelerating it even if you can, is the best in the long run, personally l don't think it is or you end up in something new uncooked as they say , and that usually just ends up in a mess.

Take your time mate , let it work for you.

  • Like 2
Jjun Member

Jjun

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It's crazy to look back at the posts in this thread from years ago.. So many others felt the same pain that I feel now, but upon closer examination they've all posted how they're at their happiest and doing great now.

 

It is day 3 after the break up for me, starting to slowly accept it and trying to move on. It still hurts and I have moments of breaking down and missing him, but I know its for the best.

BG1 Established Member

BG1

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6 months today since the breakup and 5 1/2 months of NC. I'm feeling down for a couple of reasons. There was a terrorist attack yesterday where my family live, thankfully everyone is ok. Apart of me would have wanted my ex to reach to ask if everyone was okay.

The mum reached instead. I did answer briefly. Leave me thinking if that was just her been nice and polite or my ex-wanted to know and asked her mum to reach.

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fieldoflavender Established Member

fieldoflavender

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Today was a terrible day. More and more people around me keep getting hurt, ill, or just not doing well. I'm not sure what it is. And with each subsequent bad thing, I become more stronger of a person not to want him to know any of it. Because he doesn't matter anymore and he isn't looking out for my best interests. I remember when we first broke up - he said, I am supposed to call and let him know if I need help.

 

But a mere weeks after, his demeanour changed and I knew words didn't mean very much. And that would be the last time I would actually seriously contemplate asking him for help.

 

He has helped me a lot during our time together and vice versa. But I'm getting stronger not relying on other people to get my own stuff together. I don't rely on others anymore. I still welcome someone who genuinely cares to take care of me - it would still be nice, but I must always be able to take care of myself first.

 

I sold a gift today. It's ironic - we spent hours and hours looking for it - and he had seemed so happy when I wore it. But alas - now some other girl is wearing it. Meh. Just teaches me that I need someone whose love is not as superficial as the label on that gift. So easily transferable. And I don't need love like that just like I don't need a gift like that.

 

Hard things will continue to happen, but I will become stronger and get through them.

  • Like 2
Amas5750 Established Member

Amas5750

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So after a lonely saturday of my taking myself to breakfast, reading the paper, watching Netflix and crying 5-6 different times....(oh gawd i know it's a bit pathetic at the moment)..

 

I decided to see my ex. I was lonely and we do have some friendship. Had to get my final things from the house too....

 

I feel SO much calmer after seeing him. Actually in a heslthy way for my closure etc. He's such a mess. He is a real hot mess that it actually moves me out of my grief into real pity for him. As a fellow human. He's clearly very depressed and theres cat **** on the bathroom tiles, house stinks, rubbish strewn around, no sheets om the mattress etc

Clearly not doing well which moves me into pity for him and also lets me realise why there was NOT going to be a heslthy future with this man.

 

It takes my rose coloured glasses RIGHT OFF MY FACE. I know that sounds bad. His being a hot mess gives me closure n stops me mourning for this healthy/happy future i once saw..

 

I burst into tears when he said he doesnt enjoy being alive though. For the first time ever he admitted to being depressed. Says he falls asleep at 4pm every day

 

He's not too well.

  • Like 2
Rogo Member

Rogo

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Can't sleep, can't eat. Feel sick all the time.

 

I feel the same way. Exactly. I feel your pain

Logo Established Member

Logo

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Couldn't sleep, my thoughts drifted. I started poking around in my ipad and found this article I had bookmarked after the breakup. It's about the difference between passionate love vs. compassionate love.

 

It was a mistake to read it because it brought back a lot of memories and made me sad for various reasons.

 

 

Sigh.

 

 

It's getting old and tiresome.

 

 

I'm back to my old slow but steady depression resulting from feeling alone.

 

 

Attraction comes from within. Women wanted me after the breakup. Now I'm probably projecting desperation or defeat.

Logo Established Member

Logo

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Sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings and couldn't experience emotions.

 

I wonder how much easier my life would then be.

  • Like 3
Jsos91 Established Member

Jsos91

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So today was supposed to be our wedding day. I've been consumed with thoughts of what I'd be doing right now if we had gone through with it. I've shed a few tears but overall I haven't felt too bad, I think I've gotten to the point where I know this was meant to happen and that it's going to lead me somewhere better. I still love her and I think I'll always carry some love in my heart for her, which is why keeping NC is the best way to go. I've had the thoughts of wether she's thought about me and thought about the day this was supposed to be. I've shaken myself out of it though, no point wondering about her at this point.

 

Cheers to the wedding that could've been, but never was.

  • Like 1
Samantha.Leo Established Member

Samantha.Leo

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I've been trying to put him out of my head. I've been trying to move forward. I'm not contacting him, though, even though I want to so bad. It would be useless because he wouldn't respond anyway. I feel so hurt and used and p*ssed off about the whole thing. Why did I let him under my skin again?! It had been years and I was healed, or so I thought. I wonder if he feels regret or guilt or anything really. I know I have it in my own hands to give myself closure but I can't...this is making me feel like crap and I don't want it anymore. I need to talk to someone, and this is the only place that I can go to about this.

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InAFog Established Member

InAFog

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Weekends are terrible. Have nothing going on & can't stop thinking of them spending their weekend together. Anxiety is back. That's the worst. I wish it could be just sadness, the anxiety is driving me crazy!

  • Like 1
Chilli Established Member

Chilli

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So today was supposed to be our wedding day. I've been consumed with thoughts of what I'd be doing right now if we had gone through with it. I've shed a few tears but overall I haven't felt too bad, I think I've gotten to the point where I know this was meant to happen and that it's going to lead me somewhere better. I still love her and I think I'll always carry some love in my heart for her, which is why keeping NC is the best way to go. I've had the thoughts of wether she's thought about me and thought about the day this was supposed to be. I've shaken myself out of it though, no point wondering about her at this point.

 

Cheers to the wedding that could've been, but never was.

 

Sorry js. damn. !

Logo Established Member

Logo

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Weekends are terrible. Have nothing going on & can't stop thinking of them spending their weekend together. Anxiety is back. That's the worst. I wish it could be just sadness, the anxiety is driving me crazy!

 

 

 

Weekends are the worst. I remember how difficult they were. I used to look forward to Monday to start work.

 

 

In the meantime I made new friends and have been blessed by having good people around me who are nice to me and care about me.

 

 

Make new friends. You won't regret it. Friends are for life, usually.

  • Like 1
Jsos91 Established Member

Jsos91

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Feeling incredibly depressed today. I can understand why but it doesn't make things any easier. Im going on no sleep because I just returned from a road trip and drove through the night, my wedding day was supposed to be yesterday, and the girl I had a bit of a crush on that I went on a couple dates with seems to be ghosting me. All of these factors create this cocktail of hopelessness and longing. I missed her so incredibly much yesterday and my thoughts just kept creeping to what our wedding would've been like and what she would've looked like. Its so much harder because we were so close to it when she ended things so everything had been planned and set. I was doing so well and feeling so good and yesterday really blindsided me in a way I did not anticipate. I actually expected yesterday to be a bit anticlimactic because the whole summer had been building up to it but I really did feel an intense sense of sadness over what could've been. I'm just not quite sure what to do with these feelings today, I think this may very well be the most depressed I've felt about the breakup as of yet. For the most part I've been able to look at everything rationally and really convince myself that I dodged a bullet and that she didn't love me the way I loved her. Thats the tough part though, I really LOVED her and I was so happy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, regardless of all the bull**** I put up with. Yesterday was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and instead Im here, on this forum, with tears running down my face. Life can be such a cruel bitch sometimes.

 

As for the girl I was hanging out with, thats mostly upsetting because it was nice to have my attention on someone else and to feel those butterflies again. Obviously I wasn't that emotionally invested but the rejection definitely stings a bit more than it should right now. I just hate dating, I did not want to be put back out in this game again. Although I'm getting the feeling that she was masking the hurt and now that she's fallen off the face of the earth I'm being forced to deal with all of these feelings that had been repressed while I was hanging out with her. I'm simply too exhausted to care about dating right now, its been 3 months, I know I'm capable of finding someone when the time is right. I really don't think that time is right now though. Especially with how much I seem to be struggling, I feel like yesterday knocked me back 5 steps which is incredibly frustrating.

 

I just feel empty, its hard to deal with it when you were truly happy with the direction your life was headed. I need to learn to walk on this new path I've been put on and to do it with a smile on my face. I think its going to be a long process and I hope its worth it.

  • Like 3
Earlybird2016 Established Member

Earlybird2016

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21 months and every day it's worse. Life isn't worth living without her.

  • Like 2
InAFog Established Member

InAFog

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Hard time today. God, how I wish I could stop these thoughts from crashing around in my head!!

  • Like 1
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Boys ??????

  • Like 3
divegrl Established Member

divegrl

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I know cookies!!!!

 

Dating is so annoying sometimes!!

Rogo Member

Rogo

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Been just over a month. Still think about her constantly. Can't get her out of my head. It hurts and now I'm really sick and tired of feeling this way. Depressed angry empty. Just want to scream

  • Like 1
Rogo Member

Rogo

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Ok more venting. What really makes this breakup very hard is first it was out of the blue for me. Second. Mutual friends. Not mutual friends that we both hang out with all the time. But still friends who I and my ex keep contact with. So this one mutual friend (who is how I met my ex) tells me that's she asks about me. Like how I'm doing. Is he ok. She told me that my ex asked if she could look at my Facebook profile on her phone a few days ago. She told me my ex will probably be texting me to have a sit down talk about what happened. (We still have some of each others stuff). I did post on here somewhere what happened. But basically I was blindsided. She was the one I was gonna marry. We talked about it. Talked about moving in together like days before it happened.Invested with each other's kids. The one day I get a vague text. "I'm not happy. Haven't been happy for a while" that's it. Almost 2 years together. And I get a text. It's the mutual friends that is killing me. 2 of them live in the same complex as me which really really sucks. Not that she's out here all the time. It's more when I see them alll I think abut is her. This is driving me crazy. It sucks. It hurts.

 

Wow ok rant over. Thanks for listening (reading) need that rant. Feel a bit better

Amas5750 Established Member

Amas5750

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Wow! Tiny semi glimpses of forgiveness and peace.

 

 

Just semi

.

 

Woke up in physical pain and became furious in my bed as i thought about the injustoce if the whole thing.

 

But some semi glimpses at forgiveness and peace

.

  • Like 1
Logo Established Member

Logo

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My cheating narcissistic wh***e of an ex wil always be just a c**k s***ing b***h. That's the only thing she'll ever be good for. Toward the end I realized what a fake she was; she wasn't smart, she was very immature for her age and thought like a piece of trash. She put on quite the show at first, but the real, ignorant, cheating, betraying, stingy her, finally came out. And what a disgusting picture it was.

 

Kind of like Dorian Gray.

 

 

And these days, many of the women on online dating websites seem to be no different than her, shallow, dumb, ignorant, immature to say the least, and mentally defective.

  • Like 3
InAFog Established Member

InAFog

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The same can be said of men

  • Like 1
Chilli Established Member

Chilli

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Boys ??????

 

And girls :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

wonder if turning gay helps , oh sh@t hold on l can't , damn..

Logo Established Member

Logo

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I feel better now. I poured all my frustration, pain and anger into that post.

 

I did so much for her and what I got in return was an eff you in the face.

 

 

 

 

She would sometimes say things to me that I would never dream of saying to her. Lesson learned. I shouldn't have let her. I should have walked away from her manipulating, lying angry personality. She took her frustrations on people closest to her. What a loser she is. I can't believe I put up with it. What was I thinking?

 

 

Funny, you can treat physical pain by taking pain medication, but emotional pain? Now that's a real dilemma. That, you have to deal with.

 

 

I need to erase her from my memory and look to the future.

  • Like 1
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