How are you coping today?

[divegrl]

Yes I've seen Eternal sunshine. I feel you my friend; to just erase all the pain.

 

I know this is so hard, but this pain is teaching you. Helping you grow.

 

Big hugs today.

[Chilli]

Have 2 dates in a row today and 1 tmrw I really don't even wanna go on , but I can't back out this late

 

 

'Ahh, and we want a full report too ok.

Hope they're nice and nerdy, glasses and all.

[Logo]

I haven't yearned to be with her in the last few months like I do tonight.

 

I've got some stuff going on in my personal life that's causing me a lot of stress and I think of our time together and how she used to be a source of comfort.

 

 

So tonight I feel lonely and emotionally exhausted. I know. I know. How could I possibly miss someone who cheated on me? Well, tonight I do.

[Amas5750]

Was a bit angry this morning at the golf range. Whacking the s#$+ out the the golf balls. Angry that this happenened and angry that he changed his mind and angry/scared that my future is unknown.

 

Then was more relaxed (if a little hollow) at my friends sons 2nd birthday party. Hurt that these lovely couples are here with their babies and i had to break up with my partner cos he wouldnt have a child with me. Pure grief but somehow contained and i was able to fairly freely just have reasonable chats to various adults at the party. There was good finger food.

[bummer]

one year and change! just ended a 8 month long super supportive and normal relationship because... i'm still wrapped up in the past!

 

lessons learned:

keep meditating, why did i stop?

 

dont jump into a new relationship just because you WANT to be normal again. how soon is too soon? for me, it's still too soon.

 

dont let the past just languish and haunt. I let it simmer then fade and thought I was great. but no, i was "coping" or "ignoring" but never closed the door myself or got the tidy bow my head needed. I never let the pain go! I never stopped telling myself I love her!!

 

So, she, the demon one, figured out i was single again and wham! she broke a good stretch of NC and i jumped at it. we had dinner and rehashed all the anger, all the pain, and all the apologies. turns out she did keep and finally read some of the desperate letters i wrote at the end. she admitted emotionally cheating on me long before it ended with a guy who ended up dying at the same time we finally broke up. Geez. Anyways, this breakup/meetup was much cleaner than the numb and messy original breakup. much better than the infrequent rant texts. we had both reflected, failed forward, and while I honestly said I still liked her, she didn't keep the door open.

 

So now, in person, eye to eye, we ended it as clean and honestly as it should have been over a year ago. I have much better clarity from her, that I must let go and move on, and now it's time to realize inside myself that I should have been stronger and let go long ago. it was always in my power to give her up but i selfishly thought holding her in my thoughts was okay. It is not okay.

 

So last lesson: when it ended, it ended. dont spend months secretly wishing it wasnt over. END IT.

 

so as for coping, I think i'm failing forward slowly and it feels good.

[JDPT]

we've been light messaging back and forth. I'm right down the middle, at 50% whether I want to work things out with her or not. I'm being realistic and realize that things can either go either way. I put myself out there and now it's a matter of waiting and see how she chooses to reply. I'm moving on with my life meaning not holding my breath until she decides to address what I sent to her.

[Jsos91]

Felt kind of good and bad today. I was hungover and underslept which didn't help. I was out last night, made out with a really attractive girl. I didn't fell guilty or bad about it either, I actually felt pretty good. She's no longer the last person I kissed so it feels like a big step forward! The bad part of my day was when I got home from work and the silence and loneliness hit me pretty hard. I started getting stuck in those thoughts about what her and I would've been doing if we were still together. I cried a bit and kind of just let myself feel it, I can't repress it and I have to face my feelings. I also need to be aware that it's nothing specific about her that I miss, it's the comforts of the relationship. I just want to get past the wedding day and then it's a completely new chapter that I can start that hasn't been touched by her.

[Logo]

then it's a completely new chapter that I can start that hasn't been touched by her.

 

 

I know the feeling.

[freebird31]

Saw my exs mom at a local store a few days ago. i passed right by her but luckily she didn't see me. Last time I ran into her was in February when she said hello. I brushed it off and didn't think about it for the next couple of days. But right now it's really on my mind. And so is my ex. So many memories just came flooding in. At least he apologized a year ago. It's been a little over 4 years now. This is not something I think about often. I did think of him a month ago though as well. When I hooked up with someone. I started crying because he came into my mind. I already know I'm a little messed up. At this point I just cope with it. I've met so many ****ty guys after my ex. I can't believe how many *******s there really are it's incredible. And the times I give a "nice guy" a chance are the times when I let my guard down. They turn out to be jerks or not interested. I don't know what's up with me. But tonight I don't feel as stable as I would normally. i just feel so discouraged. The older I get and the more guys I date I just realize it's pretty hopeless. I think I'm happier being single and alone rather than have distress caused by just another jerk. I just want to be alone.

[Miss Spider]

its 5am, I haven't slept, and I just finished an entire bag of mini kitkats. how do you think I'm coping

[Stuck2532]

its 5am, I haven't slept, and I just finished an entire bag of mini kitkats. how do you think I'm coping

 

I hope you're sleeping by now. It's hard to re-wire our brains to NOT think about that person. Is there anything you like to do? Hobbies? Taking up an activity could help you stop thinking about your usual go-to thoughts. Pick something you like, something you've always wanted to do but never did. I took up skateboarding two months ago. I've fallen a few times and my shins turned purple from trying tricks way too soon. But, I love it. I've lost a tiny bit of weight from the exercise, and I spend more of my free time just thinking about skateboarding and not about her.

 

I actually came on LS today because I thought about her all morning. I have to go to a school event on saturday and I know she will be there. It's not a huge event so I'll probably run into her and I'm dreading it. I don't want it to be awkward, but it hurts me when she's all friendly with me. I can't help but be friendly back and it just makes me remember everything and all the reasons I liked her so much. I wish she would just stop talking to me altogether.

 

I hope you are all coping well today.

[trustyourself]

I had a pretty ok weekend.

 

She was on my mind every now and then, but all in all, it was night and day to last weekend.

 

Went to a farewell on Friday after work, and there were so many good looking girls around. A lot of them were giving me the eye or a smile, and it made me feel good about myself.

 

Saturday was another day of hanging out with friends at several spots and then ended up back at my place on the patio. There was a woman there who was a friend of a friend. She seemed interested in me, but I don't think I am in the right spot to go there right now.

 

She hung out until everyone left and it was just me and her. I think she was waiting for me to make a move, but I couldnt. We just talked and then I walked her to her car.

 

On Sunday I was checking out Snapchat (I had posted some stories) and noticed that my ex had looked at my storyline, which is strange, because I unfriended her.. Suprisingly it did not really bother me all that much. Maybe I am starting to heal..

[Brokenheartedman12]

Not good not good at all, I was nc for 6 months. One day she messaged me to meet up after confronting her about a video she posted with my name in it, ever since we hung out got drunk one day and had make up sex, a few days later we kissed again. The wound has been sliced back open and I have been depressed everyday since . She's on my mind 24/7 wondering why she wanted me back in her life. I use to go to bed with this girl every night and wake up next to her every morning

[Chilli]

But so why did you break up then.?

[anduina]

Regretful and relieved in equal parts.

[Jsos91]

I'm doing okay today, I felt kind of numb at work.Thoughts and memories flooded in when I left work, something about stopping at the grocery store to buy a meal for one got to me as well. I cried on the drive home and felt a bit better once I got there. I'm going out with a girl I kissed the other night in a couple days, I'm getting the impression that she's just looking to have fun and that suits me just fine. I'm not looking for any type of real emotional connection right now, mostly because I don't think I'm capable at this point.

[Brokenheartedman12]

But so why did you break up then.?

 

Jealousy always arguing over stupid stuff one day we said enough, when we rekindled she seemed all happy we hooked up than I started getting needy

[fieldoflavender]

I'm confused as to what I want. Maybe I should be alone for a while? I need to act on my rule not to say his name every day. I keep talking about it and it's not good. I'm sure with time, these people will fade out of our lives. I don't even want to be with him anymore and I could barely remember what he looks like sometimes but it's still hurtful.

[Logo]

I feel angry. I'm mad at her for ruining a beautiful thing we had. I think she was born a cheater.

 

And I'm mad that now I can't seem to find a woman that I find attractive and intelligent to go out with me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. But most women nowadays seem to live in Hollywood fantasy world as they search for that "perfect" knight in shining armor. Well, no one's perfect. So immature.

 

Let's all live in the movie The Notebook. Oh the drama. lol **** off.

Edited August 8, 2017 by Logo

[fieldoflavender]

I feel angry. I'm mad at her for ruining a beautiful thing we had. I think she was born a cheater.

 

And I'm mad that now I can't seem to find a woman that I find attractive and intelligent to go out with me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. But most women nowadays seem to live in Hollywood fantasy world as they search for that "perfect" knight in shining armor. Well, no one's perfect. So immature.

 

Let's all live in the movie The Notebook. Oh the drama. lol **** off.

 

I think most women who have been hurt don't believe in that anymore. At least I don't. And I don't believe in the beautiful words (*cough* lies *cough*) men utter about loving someone forever and ever and protecting them and never letting them get hurt either.

[Logo]

I think most women who have been hurt don't believe in that anymore. At least I don't. And I don't believe in the beautiful words (*cough* lies *cough*) men utter about loving someone forever and ever and protecting them and never letting them get hurt either.

 

 

So what's the solution then? Should I start acting like an absolute jerk because then women will think that is the authentic and genuine me and if they can put up with that scope of jerkiness then they feel safe? As in the devil you know type of thing?

 

Really? It has come to this?

[Logo]

I think most women who have been hurt don't believe in that anymore. At least I don't. And I don't believe in the beautiful words (*cough* lies *cough*) men utter about loving someone forever and ever and protecting them and never letting them get hurt either.

 

 

If anything, I should be the one who should be treating women as if they were leprechauns after what my ex did to me. For a while I found it hard to trust women. And these days, I walk away at the first sign of the tiniest red flag.

 

If I had to use one word to describe most women I come across it would be Fickle. Absolutely and unequivocally. They pretend to be nice. They pretend to be interested. They give me their phone number. And then they disappear. Fickle, fickle, fickle.

[Chilli]

l'm just trying to work out why on earth l would ever want another one now.

Why ??????????????????????????????????

Am l insane ?

[JDPT]

I've cried for the second time this morning. I feel good after doing it because I know that every time I cry I pour out a little bit of pain out of me and is cathartic although at the moment it may feel utterly painful. I put myself out there and asked you if you wanted to meet up with me to chat about things and you declined. I understand fully. My intentions weren't to allure you back into a relationship but to set some ground rules and determined what was going to happen from this point forward since everything was left up in the air. I went in at this with a 50/50 mindset, meaning, I clearly knew then and now that this could have gone either way and it did, I was gambling and flipped a coin and I guess lost.

 

It hurts but i'm ok with this. And this is where my healing begins because I know that I gave me my all, I tried and i'm content with trying and knowing that we weren't moving in any direction, such is life and i'm here to embrace it and accept everything that's currently happening because I now strongly believe that this is all happening for a reason and that this all has to happen the way it is because that's just the way things are going to unfold. And now i'm left here to pick up the pieces. I have no regrets, I did what I did because it came from the heart, it came from me and I'm ok with how things are going.

[Wuku]

I shouldn't still be feeling like this a year and a half later. But I still think of her every day, and frequently dream about her to. I had one such very vivid dream last night, in which she had great pleasure telling me she had someone else. It was gutting, and has left me feeling crap today. I know it's only a dream, but they can still be very powerful.

 

I think it's because she contacted me recently via text, and reading between the lines, I got the impression she is with someone new. This shouldn't be bothering me anymore, it's none of my business and I wished her well. But she is the love of my life and I don't know how to stop wanting her. Every time I feel I should be trying to meet someone new, I get the feeling that it just isn't right. She is still in my heart and I don't feel there's room for anyone else. I wonder if I'm ever going to be free from feeling like this, and if I'll ever find someone else, someone I can love like I love my ex.

 

I guess I'm feeling very low at the moment, so many things have gone wrong in the last couple of years and I'm nowhere near where I should and want to be in life, and my future prospects are not looking good either. Life, it sucks sometimes.