trustyourself Posted July 28, 2017 Posted July 28, 2017 Just trying to take it day by day. 17 days NC, and its flying by. Still processing. Some days are better than others. Change between anger and longing and still thinking of her every 3 seconds. She left me to be with someone else, yet somehow my stupid brain and heart still long for her. I know I will be better off without her in my life. Its so hard to heal from the toxic and Dysfunctional relationships though. I thought this girl was the one. I am going to be soooo much more cautious in future relationships. I still have a rock in my gut that I have not heard the last from her, and at the same time I am sad that I might not hear from her. Damn.
fieldoflavender Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 I know I shouldn't project, but my date after the break-up is in the field as my ex and reminded me of stuff and I know I shouldn't project, but I couldn't do it. But if I was objective (as I can be), I don't think we were a good match for each other. So meh. But it's still good to try and get out there. I did not feel super sad or longing for my ex. The reasons he is bad for me and all his irresponsible ways have not escaped me. This guy wasn't for me, but he is even more so not for me.
Teany3 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 Yesterday was my first time posting to LS. I had been lurking around for some time and it felt good to get some of that gunk out of my system. Today I am okay. It is amazing that after 9 months the mornings can still catch me or I have to literally "snap" myself back from a massive train wreck of thoughts and memories that collide on top of each other. The can be so real sometimes. Unfortunately though, to this very day, whenever I see a d*** chipmunk scurrying around the front yard I still think of my X - but I know with time these thoughts will ease up. In the meantime, I will keep praying that the medical field will hurry up and create some form of medical procedure that can decrease, erase, or better yet decimate all that comes along with a breakup.
Amas5750 Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 Last night i coped OK. Just moved into a new place. Last night felt that the new environmment is so much healthier. But now its 6am and i feel all alone. Im reminiscing about tiny things he did or said. The weight of it lands on me. I feel like i might never leave this bed As i packed the last of my clothes in the car yesterday.. i looked up the the sky. A sky writer had just wtitten "marry me?". Stab. Ouch Im worried. Im fearful. Part of me is hopeful. Im angry. Im petrified. Im ok 2
JDPT Posted July 29, 2017 Posted July 29, 2017 Dear Ex, Today i'm having a rough day, weekends are so hard for me. I need to take my therapist's advice and start scheduling a busy weekend. I should go on a trip next week just to clear my head and zone out. I shouldn't have replied to your text on Thursday, but I did so it's ok, this is a minor set back and something that can easily be fixed, I guess I just need a bit more time to process these emotions. I projected to feel better today but such is not the case. I understand now that I need a bit more more.
Amas5750 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 The weekends are the hardest. I kept a busy weekend. Yoga. Golf lesson. Journalled. Multiple friend hangouts. Some of the weekend was good. Golf lesson n journalling helped. Friends gave good advice. Still felt red hot visceral pain on and off all weekend. First weekend in the new house . god im missing him now and/or feel totally alone and shattered. I still live close by... just forced a grocery shop. It was the same grocery store where i used to go to happily trawl the aisles n buy food to prepare for me n the ex. I saw all the foods u used to buy for him. Nearly flat out cried in the parking lot carrying the groceries to the car. Jesus it hurts so much and is so confusing. How can the sun be out? 1
Chilli Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Sunday here and pretty cold, so l had a nice slack day in front of the fire with some movies. But , l must admit. things have been biting in lately. We are both very very similar people , almost identical and so l know it will be hitting her about now again too. And l know she'll be going through this all alone too because we're so alike in that way also. But not only , she's just moved across the country anyway, alone, knows no one, wouldn't matter though even if she did they wouldn't hear from here anyway.
Amas5750 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Its 5am and ive tossed n turned for the last few hours. The pain and anger and confusion are great. I feel almost like life has left me behind. All my mates are married etc Im really, really hurting. Im intensely scared n feel so alone. I feel like a shell. I feel like i cant deal with this level of pain
Knight23 Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Lying on a sofa, feeling kind of stupid. The best thing for me right now is to get up and do something. Just feels like I don't have the energy for it. I know she isn't worth it though. I have to keep telling myself that. Slipping into old habits is one of the last things I wanted.....
fieldoflavender Posted July 30, 2017 Posted July 30, 2017 Does anyone feel very frustrated how public your break up was? At least mine was. I posted it on social media thanks to my ex (oh post it! post it!) when I was on vacation. And now thanks buddy/a-hole, my parents keep getting phone calls from friends asking about it. LAST time in my life I ever post anything personal on social media. And wtf to the lengths people go to to snoop on your personal life - it's like they love watching news about bad things that happen in the world so they can go "oh I feel so happy and content with my own life." Meh. Zen zone. Whatever. I am living for myself. It's embarrassing as hell, and I feel like I'm withdrawing from contacting people because I don't want to talk about it.
Amas5750 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Things are better this afternoon as opposed to this morning. Working on this presentation and having to learn new things for the medical presentation helps. You cant learn new things and think about it. 1
Liesbeth Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 (edited) Just trying to take it day by day. 17 days NC, and its flying by. Still processing. Some days are better than others. Change between anger and longing and still thinking of her every 3 seconds. She left me to be with someone else, yet somehow my stupid brain and heart still long for her. I know I will be better off without her in my life. Its so hard to heal from the toxic and Dysfunctional relationships though. I thought this girl was the one. I am going to be soooo much more cautious in future relationships. I still have a rock in my gut that I have not heard the last from her, and at the same time I am sad that I might not hear from her. Damn. H trustyourself, I feel you. My ex also left me to be with someone else and I also find it difficult to stop thinking about him and longing for him. Today I woke up with the feeling that our relationship was the best thing that ever happened to me and that I should try to get it back. I know it was a dysfunctional relationship, leaving me a shell of who I really am. Still, I can't seem to convince my heart to let go. Does anyone have any tips on better coping with these moments? It feels as if at those moments, all I can think about are the magical moments we had in the beginning of our relationship and the hurtful moments are just gone. Edited July 31, 2017 by Liesbeth typo 1
Nogan Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I keep dreaming about my ex. Wish I wouldn't. I don't think about her as much as I used to
Jsos91 Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 I feel a bit off this morning, it's upsetting because it feels like I've taken a step backwards. Anytime I feel depressed it feels like I've take a step back and I wish I wasn't so hard on myself. I've been on some dating sites just to see what's out there, I matched with some pretty attractive girls but the conversation just feels so hollow. I think that's kind of shown me that I'm not ready, I keep just missing the deeper more meaningful talks we had so small talk just feels bleh. It's not good when I'm feeling like I'm comparing other people to you so I think I need more time before I start talking to other girls, I know it has to feel like a clean slate.
Xiomn Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 Been single for two years this month, it's been one year and 11 months that I started actively trying to go on dates and look for someone to develop a serious relationship with. Dated about 5 or 6 different people in that time, All lasted no longer than a month each time. Last one was so close to feeling like something was going to happen which she aided in giving the impression of then found out she used for me sex while she already had a boyfriend. When she caught on I was on to her she deleted and blocked me off everything like I never existed. Been accustomed to being single for a while now but after that last incident she gave me temporary fake love and gave me temporary few days of depression and loneliness after. 1
Little-Wolf Posted July 31, 2017 Posted July 31, 2017 1 week since we met up and we're on the road to being official again. He calls me his girlfriend, although I told him I want him to ask me out properly and to make a little more effort in regards to romantic gestures and such. (He's only ever bought me flowers once...) He said he agreed and that he needed to start treating me more like a lady. He also told me I have so much more of a backbone this time as I told him I was not prepared to put up with half of the sh*t he put me through. He said that me saying that only made him want me more and that we both grew so much in the 32 days apart. Aside from that, everything is wonderful. We've seen each other a lot recently, so I'm adding some space between us to work on my university stuff. I've been re-introduced to his Nan (he lives with her) but neither of us are ready to meet the parents again haha! So far, taking things wonderfully slowly. We're communicating more and being more honest about the things that didn't work. Peace and love to all those suffering today. I really, really hope you guys have a happy ending. 3
Teany3 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 My friend texted me at 4:30am, 6:30am, and 8:30am to try and wake me up and let me know that her ex had stopped by (unexpectedly) and they had the chance to talk and do some other activities. When I called her back she was naturally distraught about all that occurred. You should have heard me. I was giving her advice that made me sound like I'm some type of f.....g guru. I mean advice that should have been written down, recorded, quoted, and taught at universities. Until I hung up the phone. My X was pretty much sitting next to me on the couch (with his feet up) with the way I was thinking about him at that moment. Which frustrated me and brought me back to that dichotomy. But this time it was worse because everything was tumbling around like clothes in a dryer and I couldn't separate them. I was angry, emotional, jealous, sexually inflamed, pissed, and envious. As she told her story and I listened and was giving her advice, I was mostly imagining my X knocking on my door like I have imagined a sad amount of times. I was mentally playing out all the ways that I would handle the situation. But the worst feeling I had was the loneliness. It was so f.....g loud and heavy. D....t it's been 9 months. Will you please just get the f..k out of my head already? I know it's not going to happen. He's not coming back. He is no good for me. And I know I shouldn't be thinking about him and taking care of me and focusing my energy on me and becoming better and healed, NC, and all the other steps in between. I know it. I know it. It's incredible how addictive and potent some people, situations, and relationships you know are bad for you can be. But...to pull myself up and out of the sea of Kleenex, I turned up the Coldplay (loud), danced around my apartment and kitchen while cooking myself something tasty for dinner. Middle finger on both hands to my narcissistic X! 5
Amas5750 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Coping OK today. Some logic can be applied to the situation. I can sort of see ' well he's objectively no great loss because of how he neglected you for the last 6 months and it was his choice' Somehow less fear gripping me. Its still confusing as to why this happened. Im still angry and very mad. But atleast some logic and a *bit* of breathing space 2
Ronnys93 Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I have honestly forgotten how long its been since no contact. Somewhere around 2 complete months now and we're heading into the 3rd month. This feels great! I feel a lot freer and while my mind does go to him at times, it's not protruded with thoughts of him.
Miss Spider Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 (edited) I dunno. I guess I'm fine Edited August 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
Chilli Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 (edited) oops , sorry , messed up Edited August 1, 2017 by Chilli 1
SammySammy Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 I feel great! I'm up early. I'm at peace. Feeling good. Looking good. Totally happy and joyous. Looking forward to having a wonderful day! 4
JDPT Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Seems like another rough day today, it comes and goes. The pain in my chest can become so uncomfortable at times but I know that it eventually the pain subsides. But it's so uncomfortable when I go through it. I was ok until I decided to reply to your text, or as my therapist suggests that the reason why I'm currently in pain is because now that the dust has settle I have more time to think about what occurred. And essentially my mind is playing tricks on me telling giving me an illusion of how "wonderful" the relationship was and the many reason why things could still be worked out. I would have to agree with this I do find myself fantasizing about the past and the what could have been more often. What I do know is that I will continue pushing forward. I will not allow this breakup to destroy me. I have learned so much and have too many resources to allow myself to fall into a state of deep depression and helplessness. I must continue on this journey and continue on doing the things I've been doing. Truth is i'm doing everything that i'm supposed to be doing to heal, it's just a matter at this point to give time some time and allow these emotions and feelings to go through me. 3
Logo Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 Starting to build resentment toward women. I feel unwanted, rejected and discarded. And worst of all, I don't know why I'm being treated this way. I'm nice, I carry an intelligent conversation.... Perhaps my ex screwed me up to the point that I need to start from scratch, like a teenager learning to flirt for the first time. This is really frustrating. What gives? And I have gotten over my ex. She's no longer on my mind as someone I miss or wish that I stayed with. I want to move on, I'm ready, I miss the companionship, I miss intimacy. 1
Chilli Posted August 1, 2017 Posted August 1, 2017 lt's sunny and l can't wait to get out there and finish my new deck
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