How are you coping today?

[Amas5750]

You were my happy place, my best friend... And you took that away from me all over again. As if the first time wasn't hard enough. I hate you for that. I really really hate you.

 

...

 

Your word stabbed me in the chest cos i kniw exactly how u feel. Ur not alone

[vickyp]

@ vickyp

 

We still kive together for another week.

Plus i still love him. Wonder if low contact would work (no kids)

 

Feelings don't disappear over night. Trust me I know. But at the same time I know my dumper wasn't for me. If he was, then I wouldn't be on this site. Hang in there, it gets better. Don't settle for second best.

[Amas5750]

Woke up twice in a bit of a panic. Couldnt sleep again due to thoughts of being alkne forever and maybe never getting over my ex.

 

My ex was trustworthy and put alot of egfortvin at first. We were only together 1.5 years and the break up was 5 weeks ago

 

I can feel the high stress about it. I need an antacid. Im so tired and worried.

 

I worry i wint trust again and be alone my whole life. Im worried ill be bitter.

 

I defo need a psychologist

[Little-Wolf]

I'm feeling okay.

 

Still absolutely gutted he hasn't called.

I thought he would have by now.

 

My friend and I are booking our Italian getaway next week, just need to wait till payday!

 

Keeping busy... Keeping busy...

[fieldoflavender]

I'm still mad I am stuck with his stuff. I've been too busy to get rid of - but it's coming along. And then I have to sell his stupid gifts that I never wanted in the first place. I actually went to an outlet mall (Where he was apparently too good for it and bought nothing) and while I got amazing deals - and all that stuff he never gave me back. So instead I got incredibly overpriced crap that I never wanted in the first place and now I will never use again because it just represents how hurtful he implied that I was only with him for money.

 

I can't believe I wasted all that time after the break-up trying to prove that I wasn't. Wtf, I don't need to prove myself. Anyone who makes me have to prove that bull**** isn't someone I want to be with. I can make my own living, and make a good living and don't need money that he didn't even earn himself and just feeds off his family.

 

Never again I will find someone from a rich family who spends beyond their means. Disaster galore.

 

I don't miss him anymore, I just wish I stood up for myself. I can apologize for the things I did wrong, but I should not let him and even worse his incredibly crass family hurt me when I was most vulnerable. I don't know what type of person does that to someone. I'm glad I dodged a bullet. I shudder when I think about the many years of my life I could have wasted in this nightmare - and to this I could have brought children into it.

 

I know I should be grateful, but I'm sad of the missed opportunities, the people I gave away because of him, and a whole year of my life wasted, and my innocence lost in believing in beautiful things people tell me.

 

But I guess that's what life experience and reality does to you. But I'm glad I am stronger than ever. And I will live better. And be proud of who I am. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you don't make the same ones again.

[Cora]

I'm not coping well today. It's been a little over two years since my ex left me in the most hurtful way. With no goodbye or explanation. It's been a rough road, but I finally got to a place where I was ok. I even started dating again.....but it's beem just one heartache after another. It's rare that I feel a connection with someone, but when I do I tend to fall hard. Went on several great dates with some really great guys, but they all sooner or later ghosted on me. It keeps happening over and over again. I don't know how much more I can take.

 

This has left me feeling so inadequate...not worthy or special enough to have someone in my life long term. I deleted my online dating profile 2 weeks ago. It's very disheartening and draining. I could not stop crying today because I've just been so sad and depressed. It not only brought back the feelings I felt from when my ex left me, but has also added to the pain. I feel numb. Just going through the motions.

[Amas5750]

Wow! Had a reasonably good day.

 

Started off me crying into my eggs over breakfast with girlfriends. They were supportive n the best. Then we all went into Sydney central and went shopping. It kind of pulled me out of my funk n i could also talk till i was blue in the face.

 

Then cheese n wine with the same girl in the sun in semi suburban sydney. Then 2 hours on the phone with a close friend who i hadnt spokrn to in 8 months & it was like nothing had changed. She supported me and i talked at length n we had some laughs.

 

This was the best day ive had since break up 5 weeks ago. I had some laughs, lots of coffees, wines, deep n meaningful chats.

 

My isolation n loneliness lifted.

[Jsos91]

So far today has been a bit of a rough one. I went out last night drinking with some friends and I've found that whenever I do this I feel super emotional the next day. On my way home this morning I just kept wishing I just got to wake up to you which then led to memories of me waking up and making you coffee everyday. I hate how vivid a lot of my memories are, it just drives me up the wall how real it all feels when I think about it. I'm just so lost as to wether I'm missing you or I'm just missing the comfort of a relationship. I'm just getting so frustrated that I feel good one second and then I'm a mess then next. The happiness, the depression, the anger.. it's just driving me crazy. The fear of never finding anyone I feel the same way about has been getting to me lately as well, I know it's irrational and I'll find someone someday. When I get stuck in a depressed rut I can't believe how negative I feel about everything.

[Amas5750]

Yesterday was good but today im in bed most of the day. Scared to my bones that ill never trust again and repulsed by the idea of another man.

 

Low level anger that it didnt work out but with a higher level of awareness that this man was not offering me ANY kind of a life in the end

[Amas5750]

Today i found and accepted a new place to move into. I started packing books into moving boxes and had floods of tears on several occasions. I socialised after that but i was an absolute shell.

 

You and i laughed n jokes tonight.

I hugged you so many times.

 

I cried so many times tonight.

 

Im lucky my dad is coming to help me move things in a few days to my new house.

 

This was the last weekend together under the same roof.

 

When i was driving home from socialising something within said to me "why are you crying, you should be glad".

[mike.c]

Me and my band were playing a concert yesterday, which kept me occupied and busy for a couple of days, and then the gig itself forced me to get into a different state of mind. Woke up today and we're back to square one. I miss her so much and constant thoughts that I did this to myself and her are killing me.

[vickyp]

Reading these posts is an eye opener. I just can't believe how rude and people are. I mean pretty much these relationship have been long term, the boom they leave. Are people not normal anymore? Is this the new norm, when things get tough to get up and leave? Or in my case have a stupid argument over an article I read, had a disagreement, calls me every name in the book an leaves? Like im the douche bag? And on top of that you he breaks up with me 3 weeks after my dad dies. Is this normal? I've never been the dumpee so this is extremely hard for me. During the week I feel ok since I'm busy, but come weekends, I get depressed my chest is heavy and keep thinking why he would do this? when all I did was love and be there for him. How are people so mean? I just don't get it. I just keep myself keep plugging away vicky. Just keep plugging away. My heart goes out to everyone in this thread.

[fieldoflavender]

Yeah people get very selfish when they are hurting. They don't care about how their actions reflect on other people. All I wanted was to not break up so ugly. But the couldn't give me that. So whatever. I can't do it all myself.

[Finlandia]

Been up and down. Had a nice day at work because I am surrounded by coworkers who care about me and I can have fun with (as much as one can have fun at work) it's a good place to be, but the hours have been cut down due to uncontrollable circumstances. It sucks.

 

But on the flipside, I feel lied to by my ex as he's pulling that hot/cold BS on me right now... First he wants to "understand each other and sort things out" and after a week of radio silence, I ask him if he wants to talk. He says no and *list BS excuse here that apparently takes priority* I'm just thinking...... no. you're a liar and you know you are lying to me. Cut it with this *expletive*, you accuse me of playing games in the past when I have called you out time and time again on your own nonsense and he just... I'm sick of it. I want to kick him.

 

I really want to kick him.

 

A thousand times.

 

In the d***.

 

*phew....* thank goodness for anonymous rants.

[Finlandia]

Reading these posts is an eye opener. I just can't believe how rude and people are. I mean pretty much these relationship have been long term, the boom they leave. Are people not normal anymore? Is this the new norm, when things get tough to get up and leave? Or in my case have a stupid argument over an article I read, had a disagreement, calls me every name in the book an leaves? Like im the douche bag? And on top of that you he breaks up with me 3 weeks after my dad dies. Is this normal? I've never been the dumpee so this is extremely hard for me. During the week I feel ok since I'm busy, but come weekends, I get depressed my chest is heavy and keep thinking why he would do this? when all I did was love and be there for him. How are people so mean? I just don't get it. I just keep myself keep plugging away vicky. Just keep plugging away. My heart goes out to everyone in this thread.

 

True love is dead, yo.

[vickyp]

True love is dead, yo.

 

I don't think true love dies. I think if you find that right person it lives forever. The hard part is, finding that person.

[fieldoflavender]

The other problem is that lots of people pretend they are the right person - but then they show their true colours too late.

[mike.c]

True pain is finding it and then f*****g it all up.

[Logo]

I'm tired and depressed.

 

Haven't been able to go on more than one date in the last 7 months.

 

Don't know where people my age hang out.

 

And most people my age who I find attractive, seem to have children. I contact women on online dating websites and get no responses.

 

That makes me depressed. I'm good looking, in good shape, I'm very educated, smart and knowledgeable. And I think I have a healthy sense of humor.

 

I'm about to give up on relationships and just stop looking.

 

I used to be the outgoing, confident type. Now after so many rejections I'm hesitant, timid and feel defeated. And there are some really nasty, bad, rude, vicious women out there. I hope karma will set them straight.

Edited July 24, 2017 by Logo

[Amas5750]

Today i was flat and s*** at my job. Felt the loss all day. Cried intensely on the way home.

 

I move out in 2 days.

 

Cried to him at 5pm at home. He's soooo not as affected as me (5 weeks post break up)

 

Then we hugged and a little bit snuggled. I query lose my dignity a little- asking for a hug.

 

I just love the feel of him .

 

I think im still partially in love, or alot in love

 

He says hes forcing himself to be numb ir he would feel sadness. He compartmentalises

 

I have Diabetes Type 1 and the stress hormones have made my Diabetes sooo poorly controlled since break up. Like i am getting symptoms and my blood glucose is so high from stress. It gave me a kick up the butt today like "my diabetes is out of order so badly- i need to prioritise my health rather than cry for a man who is not crying about me"

[Phoenician]

Going through hardest seperation , it is under the same roof ;

i am the one who initiated it 3 month back , no regret , but I am missing my wife , not her .

 

it is super hard ; my counselor helped me standing on my feet .

this situation will go for long time , my kids needs me , I love them more than anything in the world .

 

The hardest was going yesterday through marriage aniversary , we didn't even great each other ....

 

The hardest thing is to live with someone you don't love anymore ...

[Phoenician]

Today i was flat and s*** at my job. Felt the loss all day. Cried intensely on the way home.

 

I move out in 2 days.

 

Cried to him at 5pm at home. He's soooo not as affected as me (5 weeks post break up)

 

Then we hugged and a little bit snuggled. I query lose my dignity a little- asking for a hug.

 

I just love the feel of him .

 

I think im still partially in love, or alot in love

 

He says hes forcing himself to be numb ir he would feel sadness. He compartmentalises

 

I have Diabetes Type 1 and the stress hormones have made my Diabetes sooo poorly controlled since break up. Like i am getting symptoms and my blood glucose is so high from stress. It gave me a kick up the butt today like "my diabetes is out of order so badly- i need to prioritise my health rather than cry for a man who is not crying about me"

 

 

I fear this type of ppl , like my ex , they build china wall to protect themselves using bricks colored with heart blood.

 

if he is that type of selfish person , don't look back ; you deserve an affectionate person .

[Phoenician]

I'm tired and depressed.

 

Haven't been able to go on more than one date in the last 7 months.

 

Don't know where people my age hang out.

 

And most people my age who I find attractive, seem to have children. I contact women on online dating websites and get no responses.

 

That makes me depressed. I'm good looking, in good shape, I'm very educated, smart and knowledgeable. And I think I have a healthy sense of humor.

 

I'm about to give up on relationships and just stop looking.

 

I used to be the outgoing, confident type. Now after so many rejections I'm hesitant, timid and feel defeated. And there are some really nasty, bad, rude, vicious women out there. I hope karma will set them straight.

 

good luck!

[Phoenician]

"I no longer hate you ,

nor regret marrying you ,

getting those beautiful 3 angels who makes my life have a meaning .

 

I feel pitty for you , you are sick ,

selfish to an extent that you pushed me away .

 

One day you will regret, loosing a person who "served" you , tried to make you happy for 15 years .

 

to tell you the truth , I no longer care if you regret or not , I am slowly healing from your abuse , passive aggresivness and selfishness.

 

 

May God heal your soul and make you at least a good mother , The last thing I wish is to have my kids love their mom .

[Little-Wolf]

My ex got into contact with me on Saturday. 32 days NC.

 

To make a long story short, he rung me and told he missed me like crazy and that he wanted to see me after work. I agreed and we talked and he admitted what an idiot he was and how much he had missed me every single day.

 

We spent the day together yesterday and it was absolutely perfect. We both agreed we're not going to rush into anything and I've said I'm not getting back with him until he agrees to go to anger management. He agreed and said we have a lot to work on, but that he's so happy I picked up the phone because he thought I wouldnt.

 

He didn't stop complimenting me, calling me beautiful and gorgeous while trying to touch me... We went to the shops and he kissed me, kissed my forehead and had his arm around me the whole time. He even cooked me dinner yesterday and we watched a nature documentary while cuddling. He begged me to stay the night but I stood my ground and said no, that it was too soon and that he can't just click his fingers and I give in.

 

Our 32 days apart have made me stronger. I'm absolutely determined to make things different this time. And hey, if he walks away from me again, at least I know I can live without him.

 

One step at a time... (I couldn't be happier or feeling more smug right now though!)