How are you coping today?

[DarrenB]

l wrote a big soppy one here last night then deleted so hopefully this doesn't end up as long.

But l miss my little Italian.

And then there was an Italian show on tonight, sh@t , l really didn't need that right now.

 

Everyone's told me it's no good,they're probably right and l know a couple of good friends are sick to death of me. l wouldn't normally need anyone to tell me anything but , with her issues l'd probably been crazy not to seek advice.

But l miss her anyway.

l miss her humor, personality, life, sexuality, oh brother, this is not good.

No wonder l didn't ask that girl her number the other day, l'm in no shape to be seeing anyone else right now.

 

Hang in there fella, every cloud has a silver lining

[DarrenB]

We live in a world full of judgement, hatred and neglect... every waking day is a reminder that no matter how small a gesture could be towards someone it could mean a lifetime of gratitude to them

[MeadowFlower]

Maybe it's time for a change in how I am.

[Chilli]

One day she was in the lounge head in her hands crying badly, l said what's up babe, she said what's become of the world , it's just so fkd,

The news was on in the back ground.

 

Must admit , it is getting harder and harder to go about life these days and not let all the ugly out there get to ya.

[Ronnys93]

I'm getting back to being myself. Even have a date on Saturday and eye flirted with a waiter the other night. Things are going well!

[Microwave]

Woke up today really missing her, had 3 days of feeling great now I feel like I'm back to square one with no hope.

 

I'm starting to lose track of how many weeks it's been since the break up. The only positive I can take is that my anger towards her is gone. Just left with of feeling of "well this is how things are now".

 

The hope of any reconciliation is long gone and although I know I dodged a bullet it still doesn't take the pain away. My heart sayes I'm always gonna feel this pain forever but my head knows this will pass.

 

I just wish I didn't have to walk away from being part of something I thought I'd be apart of for the rest of my life.

[Earlybird2016]

Around a year and a half. Improvements in every aspect of life apart from the pain, which only gets worse.

 

Dated two girls for a while, both wonderful, both a significantly better fit than the ex in terms of personality, interests, physical appearance etc. Ended things with both because I started to despise them for not being her.

[Liesbeth]

Hey,

 

 

I've been reading with you guys and it has helped me a lot. But today, I really feel like I need to vent (sorry for the long post).

 

 

He broke up with me 5 weeks ago. At first I went completely crazy, getting emotional, begging him to take me back. Then I realized that that was doing no good for me and I initiated NC. Broke it after 6 days because I heard all kind of rumours about him and wanted to check in on him. He replied immediately (kind, but distant). I knew immediately it was a huge mistake to contact him as it put me back down. So now I'm again in NC and at day 14.

 

 

Most of the time I'm coping, although it hurts a lot and I miss him. Since the BU he is acting like a total jerk. And now I just heard that he has someone else. That part was hard to swallow so quickly after BU. But it got worse, as apparently that new person was already in the picture 5 weeks ago. I guess he just hung onto our relationship until he was sure he could have a shot with her. So now I'm angry at him (for being such a jerk and not even being able to tell me in my face why he wanted to BU) and at myself (for not realizing that he was such a jerk). But the worst part of it all is that I would most likely take him back if he would just apologize and say he loves me. Why is it so difficult to let go of someone even though it is 100% clear that he is no good? I deserve better!

 

 

Writing this really brings relieve!

[Stuck2532]

Around a year and a half. Improvements in every aspect of life apart from the pain, which only gets worse.

 

Dated two girls for a while, both wonderful, both a significantly better fit than the ex in terms of personality, interests, physical appearance etc. Ended things with both because I started to despise them for not being her.

 

Hang in there, dude. No one will be her, but she's no longer in the picture and you are only holding yourself back. Don't put her on a pedestal. Moving on should be all about you.

 

On my end, my A with the OW ended over 2 years ago. We go to school together and I do everything I can not to run into her - going the long way to class, parking at a different parking lot, not studying in the library and studying outside in the heat instead. I struggle, pretty much daily, but managed to not make contact for months by deleting her number. She would sometimes text me randomly to ask school-related stuff.

 

Today, she texted me after over 2 months of NC. She asked me how I did in one of my classes that ended Sunday. She must've found out from another classmate. I get cold sweats when I see her number in my screen and the picture next to her WhatsApp screen name. She's still so beautiful. I can't shake her. I tried to be aloof and not too friendly, but I'm genuinely interested on how she's doing, I just maintain NC for my own sanity. She told me how she's got a new job and loves it, and how she'll be closing on a house with her boyfriend next month....the boyfriend she started dating after our A ended. I don't know why all this hurts me. I chose to stay in my M and I'm happy with my decision. Actually, things haven't been going this well in my M for at least 3 years. Still, a part of me wishes things were different. I wish that part of me would just wither and die forever. I wish she would stop talking to me, or treat me like an a-hole. Maybe I need to be mean to her for her to go away, but it's just so difficult.

 

Why is she still reaching out to me? To rub in my face how great she's doing? I doubt that. She's not like that at all. My guess is she wants to talk to me and find out how I'm doing. My guess is, in some way, I am present in her mind. I wish I wasn't. No, that's not true. I wish I was, but the way it worked out for us, it will never be possible for us to be together, so yea, I WISH I WASN'T. She has been with this other guy for close to a year, if not longer. Why is she still keeping in contact with me?

[countryfeedback]

Feeling low, guess I've been stuck with this state of mind for over a year. I've lost everything. I can't even go home, Im forced to room up with friends and they don't understand why I can't pull my weight. I don't feel like myself, I don't know who I am anymore only that I don't like who I am right now. I know we both have problems and I tried my best, but it still is what it is. I'm slowly starting to lost interest in people that truly are my friends. I don't know

[Logo]

I've had a good 10 days since I last posted in June. At times I thought of her, but the thought would quickly fade. Then a couple of days ago someone asked me a question and it took me back to the relationship we had. I started recalling details, feelings, how things were in the beginning, how we felt toward each other. And that threw me for a loop. I've been feeling kind of down since then. It'll pass, I know. But earlier today I started feeling angry at ....well, at fate. "Why did things have turn out that way?" I asked myself.

 

But as with any experience, I learned something new.

 

 

It's just that the last few weeks have been hard mainly because I can't seem to be able to find a woman who would go on a date with me, if anything, just to give me hope that I won't have to wait years to find a meaningful relationship again or won't have to wait years to actually meet someone I'd feel strongly about. I talk to as many women as I can, but I keep getting rejections.

 

 

Meanwhile, I'm trying to focus on the good things that I have going for me. I keep telling myself, "At least I have that."

[MeadowFlower]

Feeling a few things .

I messed it up anyway, and you might not have liked me anyway. And I can't compare to her looks. Who can blame you for your possible interest in her.

Why the heck would you choose me anyway.

Edited July 4, 2017 by MeadowFlower

[Amas5750]

Had a "relatively reasonable" day at work.. didnt do my usual howl in the car on my way home from work. The crying came later in the evening. In bed by 6pm cos i have no one to cook for or talk to. Crying cos i feel sorry for myself.

[JinxyWinxy]

So pleased you're feeling a bit like your old self, I feel you've been through it and very brave. I am just 7 days after break up, I hope you don't mind me asking; when did you start to accept it?

 

I am craving that stage, I feel that is the most crucial stage.

 

Sending you good vibe to make to better and whole x

[JinxyWinxy]

Woke up today really missing her, had 3 days of feeling great now I feel like I'm back to square one with no hope.

 

I'm starting to lose track of how many weeks it's been since the break up. The only positive I can take is that my anger towards her is gone. Just left with of feeling of "well this is how things are now".

 

The hope of any reconciliation is long gone and although I know I dodged a bullet it still doesn't take the pain away. My heart sayes I'm always gonna feel this pain forever but my head knows this will pass.

 

I just wish I didn't have to walk away from being part of something I thought I'd be apart of for the rest of my life.

 

I feel you've been through it and very brave. I am just 7 days after break up. Its the saddest time, I know you'll get strong again

 

Sending you good vibe to make to better and whole x

Edited July 4, 2017 by JinxyWinxy

[Deadmeat]

It's been exactly one year since we've been broken up. Im in another relationship now. I think about her now and then. Even when I do I can have a smile instead of being upset by it.

 

For those still struggling, my hearty is with you. It's cliche but it will get better. Feel your emotions. Don't push them away. It's your body coping. When you feel you're ready, stand up and seize the day.

 

With Love,

 

DM

[StrangerThanFiction]

Welp, the ex ended our friendship today. He's been back in my city since May and we've hung out at least once a week (no sex or anything of that nature, btw) from then till about 2 weeks ago. Things were fine, he was happy with his gf, I was exploring the cesspit that is PoF. Then over the last 2 weeks he stopped texting as much and started playing stupid little mind games. I have been planning on letting the friendship slide anyway for quite some time and I don't have the patience for games so I figured I'd just hit it head on and asked him if we were still friends because it felt like we were doing the slow fade. Well, slap me sideways, he loses his sh*t and texts me a huge paragraph basically saying that he's going through some crap so he doesn't have time for crap and that it was stupid thinking that ex's could be friends and maybe we should go our separate ways, and so on and so forth. I agreed and wished him a good life.

 

What I find interesting is that 2 weeks ago when I was telling him about my PoF experiences and he mentioned that after he got together with his wonderful gf that he has to stay faithful to (his words), he had deleted his profile. Why this is interesting is that while I was browsing through PoF yesterday I stumbled across a recently online profile that was his. Hmm. Guess I know what this crap he's going through now is. Either he broke up with the wonderful gf, or he's up to his old shenanigans. Either way, not my circus so not my monkeys anymore. So that's all she wrote on that.

 

I'll admit to feeling a slight pang at this abrupt ending, but I have to wonder if it's more a ding to my pride at not being the one to instigate it than it is actual sadness that this friendship is over. Ah well, I knew this was coming and I should just be relieved that it's all over.

[MeadowFlower]

It will be good when and if something is sorted, and stuff. I can look back at this post and smile when they are.

[Logo]

I go out with friends. I drink. I get a temporary sense of euphoria and then I drive home and as soon as I walk in I think of the loneliness I'm feeling. I think of getting in bed alone, of waking up alone with no one next to me.

 

I'm at the point where I've accepted it's over and I'm struggling to find something new and meaningful. And I keep wondering why it's so darn hard. Have I become too picky? Do I come across as desperate? Or maybe I just need to be myself and just let it happen whenever it does. But my loneliness is prolonging the pain. Sometimes I think back about how loving and caring she was and it breaks my hard that we or I lost that to circumstance that I can't quite put my finger on. Was just bad timing or was it her personality? Maybe it was both.

 

Every time I drive home alone late at night, I think of taking a drive to her place and knocking on her door. But I can't bring myself to do that. There is no going back.

 

 

It's just sad how something good doesn't last long. I've become cynical and desperate.

[Little-Wolf]

I have a date tomorrow and I'm not emotionally or physically anywhere near ready. The guy is kind and sweet and exactly what I need right now, but I feel like I'm betraying my ex, even though he was the one who left me.

 

I want to cancel, but then that's letting him win. The guy knows I've just got out of a long, serious relationship, and still wants to meet me. He says there's no pressure and we have nothing to lose, and I know he's right, but my anxiety is all over the place.

 

Sigh.

[Chilli]

Way too soon for you. Look at what it's doing and it hasn't even happened yet. Take some more time out until your feeling more upto getting out there..

[Liesbeth]

I'm on day 22 of NC today, he broke up with me 6 weeks ago. I have days where I have been fine (trying to eat well, sleep enough, go for a jog/walk, meet with friends), however today is awful. My mind has got me on a bad track and I can't seem to escape. My ex is a coworker and I find it very hard to see him on a daily basis. I have not have any projects with him over the last few weeks so I can stick to the NC, luckily. Lately, I have the feeling that he disrespects me and is making fun of me behind my back, joking with other co-workers. It is driving me insane as I have no idea whether he is in fact disrespectful or whether I'm just going crazy (which is wat he is insinuating). A couple of things he does or did are:

• he broke up with me via text and we never talked (in person) afterwards - we did e-mail/text shortly after the breakup
  
• I asked him for a conversation and in the beginning he told me he also wanted to talk to me in person, so I asked him to pick a time and place and when the moment was there he just told me he did not want any drama - he nevertheless kept promising that he would talk to me if that would help me
  
• he said he wanted to help me dealing with the breakup, but I really don't feel it that way
  
• I asked him to return my old cell phone (which I needed for old numbers), he said ok, but he never gave it back
  
• he does not look at me when he passes me by at the office
  
• he says no 'good morning' when entering the office, nor goodbye when leaving
  
• when having lunch (with other co-workers) he either asks questions to anyone but me (thus ignoring me) or when I talk about something, he starts talking through it with another colleague
  
• Tuesday when joining the lunch, the table got akwardly quiet, so I keep thinking that he was badmouthing about me - in the meantime, I have not told any coworker anything about us as we agreed to keep it secret and professional (and not talk about us in the office)
  
• he is seeing someone new (I heard it from at least 5 different co-workers) and apparently he already was talking about her before we even broke up
  
• he does not respond to purely professional e-mails
  

I do not want him back at this point. I understand that our relationship is over and I know that I had a big part in us ending as well. I just hate how he treats me. Especially as in our last e-mails he told me I was a wonderful person and he really wanted me to be happy and to help me get through. He even said he wanted us to be friends once we both have dealt with the breakup. It makes me feel really bad and I have a hard time putting this next to me. I feel as if he never really cared at all (being together with someone else so soon). I know I should focus on me and not focus on what he is doing as it is probably because him dealing badly with the breakup, but it is so hard. I don't understand, he dumped me, he is in love with someone else, then why can't he just act normal to me. I don't expect him to come and talk to me, just a little decency. Somehow he makes me feel crazy for expecting that and somehow he always really makes me doubt myself and my actions. Right now I just wish I could make him disappear, so that I can heal. Anyway I have an appointment with my psychologist, so I hope she can provide me with some insights.

 

 

Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading if you do. It helps me to know that I'm not alone out there.

[Spartakooty]

Doing Ok I think. Still can't quite understand why I think about her so much. Went on a date this weekend...yep...still not ready.

[Cora]

I feel numb. I can't sleep. I just stay up all hours of the night analyzing every little detail in my head. Was anything real? Did I imagine your feelings for me all in my head? You were so good to me...so sweet and so kind and then nothing. This silence is killing my soul. I miss you so damn much! Oh how I want to write you a long text stating how you've made me feel...how much you've hurt me. Oh how I want to just drive to your house and confront you. But I refrain because what good would that do? I wonder who the lucky lady in your life is now? The one who kisses your lips and gets to gaze into those big beautiful brown eyes of yours. I wonder if I ever cross your mind or has she taken my place completely in your heart? I wish you had the decency to be a man and tell me to my face that it was over, even after I point blank asked you to be honest with me. Instead you just faded away...no goodbye, no explanation, you ignored my contact like I'm some thorn in your side and you've gone stone cold silent on me. The worst torture anyone could ever endure. You must have thought so little of me to not even tell me goodbye. That makes me feel really ****ty just so you know...and I hope and I pray that no one you care dearly about ever does this to you! I hope you never have to feel this pain...

[Amas5750]

Thank god i'm having a reasonably good night.

Oh thank god

Broke up exactly 3 weeks ago.

Tonight is the first night i have not felt wretched beyond comprehension.

I feel a bit of numbness and maybe a tiny but of peace

Thank god