How are you coping today?

[Chilli]

l think we're both deciding if this is it or not.

l know l'm trying to try life here without us while this has happened and l think she's doing the same in her new town, actually we're both in new towns.

Sadly without even considering any other issues, admittedly it'd just be soooo much easier for both of us to just not take it any further, especially for her.

And l'm pretty sure that's where a lot of her things were coming from subconsciously and l know it was for me too.

[Inya]

I have to go to the mall today, or I better say that I have to be there as soon as they open, later on it's way too crowded for me. It's ridiculous how much I avoid people. Yesterday a walked 2km through high wet grass just to avoid a few people on the main path, people I don’t know, they don’t know me. Why then? They don’t look at me, they don’t even see me, I'm invisible to them, why they bother me so much? I used to work with people and all kind of demanding annoying clients from hell and I really enjoyed it. I don’t recognize myself any more.

See you later if I make it…

[Chilli]

love the way you avoid , have done myself many times when not in the mood.your just not feeling strong right now is all, it's understandable.

but l love people with quirks none the less .

[Chilli]

l'm very close to cracking right now and that probably means that she is too.

l miss her so much.

 

l keep asking myself but what about this and what about that , our moving dilemma , it's big.

But on the other hand it's like look , just effg work it out , forget about that bs.

on the personality things though , l think l've worked it out . and l'd be will to take the gamble.

 

Sh@tttt.

[BryanSmiley]

I have a few good days and then see her and feel either terrible for seeing her, or normal because it’s familiar.

 

Then it haunts me for a few days again. It’s more now becoming self torture and I think there’s a lot of that to it.

 

We all have 5 mins, a few hours, a day, week, month, where were of happier mind.

 

But then consciously or sub consciously we beat ourselves up with memories and thoughts.

 

What’s lacking is to me in this cloud I’m usually in seems to be 3 steps...

 

1. Acceptance

2. Betterment

3. New surprising love interest

 

I carve out and feel those steps the odd clear short period of clear happier thought - but I’m not ready for it.

 

Chin up my friends, you’re a good soul.

[Inya]

Chilli

would you please stop complicate things. You two have a chance to make it work, I don’t have it. If I did I would move mountains. Do something and be happy!

[Chilli]

Ahh inya , thanks darlin. l've always said l would too , and so did she. Would you move to the other side of the world ? , just wondering

But l;m so sorry you don't , most likely l don't either tbh,

Edited May 25, 2017 by Chilli

[Inya]

"To move mountains" pretty much covers that, Chilli.

If the essential obstacles didn't exist...I would move to his country (2000 km distance) immediately, no questions asked. To the other side of the world? Yes. One of our desperate talks was to take the first flight to South America and disappear. Even the North Pole in winter time would be perfect, just to be with him...but I'm nuts ya know...

[Chilli]

"To move mountains" pretty much covers that, Chilli.

If the essential obstacles didn't exist...I would move to his country (2000 km distance) immediately, no questions asked. To the other side of the world? Yes. One of our desperate talks was to take the first flight to South America and disappear. Even the North Pole in winter time would be perfect, just to be with him...but I'm nuts ya know...

 

 

oh man , me too, love the way you think.don't ever change.

that would be perfect, l'd effg love it, maxo enonomninity , the ultimate

l don't really care about ties or whatnot but of course except for my daughter , so yaknow, l try to be a grown up these days, haha.

 

but gf doesn't have any ties, but here's the thing, she says she'll live on the moon if she has to.

yet l've finally got a great house now after my divorce and it's in a really nice spot , but she couldn't live in a town this size.

So l guess there must be some decent size cities up on the moon l never knew about then, right.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Chilli

[Gillys]

Not the best day but it could be worse. I keep thinking about reaching out to my ex to see we can meet up during my vacation next month. No clue why I keep thinking about it as we haven't spoken in 6 months and last I heard (6months ago) she was still with her new bf. I tried to a plan trip to visit friends on the opposite side of the country as my ex to reduce my temptation to reach out, but everyone is working on the days I'm off.

[Swizzy]

My partner and I have been together for only a year. She's 38 and i'm 28. She's very active in sex and obviously has enough experience to know what to do in bed. Even though I'm younger and only been with one woman for the last ten years, apparently I'm the best she's ever had.

 

Examples: She's never had so many orgasms back to back, she often cries after climaxing because it's so intense, and I make her feel and do things she never has before (outdoors, wellness saloon, anal, lingerie, bindings, swallowing etc.). Once, she even came under one minute from just giving her head.

 

But she always wanted to expand our sex life with other people (couple watching, small orgy, threesomes), starting with an mfm threesome.

 

It was all part of a fantasy and we talked about it for a while. Now that our relationship has become complicated, we have so many problems, she decides to finally make this fantasy come true.

 

I know the timing is questionable. She said she loves me and it's just sexual desires. As far as sex with another man, she doesn't believe anyone can top my sex game. The possibility, however, excites her, which makes her even more hornier. I'm not going to lie, the thought of her getting even more off, turned me on.

 

She introduced me to him recently, we had pretty good conversations and drank. Dude was respectful and cautious and my girl didn't do anything without checking with me first.

 

It was a weird experience. I enjoyed the intensity, the dominance, the fight over control between me and him. We both had our momentum with her, more or less. Sometimes she responded more to him, then she'd come back and I was in the "lead".

 

However, I'm not sure, and I'm afraid to ask her, but I wonder if she liked what he did more and why.

 

How can I tell if she's enjoying it more? She's certainly seemed like a total different person, unlike I've ever seen her before.

[Inya]

So l guess there must be some decent size cities up on the moon l never knew about then, right.

 

You are the only one who makes me smile these days, sorry I know it's not funny to you.

If she's willing to move to the other side of the world, would you move to a city or closer to it? Your daughter is grown up, she doesn't need you around as much anymore. But there is something I don't understand, you bought this house while you were together, was it only your decision without discussing it with her? Or she would live on the moon then and later she wouldn't...

I'm a city girl myself, I live in a capital city (born and raised) that is among the smallest and least populated in Europe, no serious traffic jams and it is almost surrounded by woody hills. Nothing is really far, it is walkable, 5km to the center, 20 min walk to the woods. I can have it all...I dont like big cities, never have. And I know he would just love it, we could live here and there... What makes is even harder is that we like the same things, same lifestyle, love to travell and discover everything new...We were perfect match with this perfect connection...

 

Well, I feel like crap this morning, I woke up in the middle of the night, soaking in sweat... I'm not going out today, language school will do...cheer up

[Inya]

I'm in shock...shaking like crazy. We just spoke on the phone, he called me. I never expected to hear his voice ever again and again I forgot to record it...

[Inya]

I don't know how I feel exactly, but I've already cleaned a big part of the apartament, which was (still is) a disaster. He always gave me so much energy. It's very obvious...he brings out the best in me. Damn, I'll never get unspelled.

[Chilli]

Haha thanks ln . nope l don't mind at all,chuckling when l said that anyway.

But **** , that means he's in the same shape you are then.

What are you gonna do , well apart from clean ?

 

Us,when we met l was just looking at this house you see. But it was too early for us to be talking houses really but she did think l should take this house and she saw me being really happy here.

So l thought ok , l'll take it.

l grew up in the city too but it's all way to dear there now.

There are other areas though but my daughters not quite 16 yet so l don't wanna go anywhere just yet.

Your right though , we could just hang out here a few years and finish this house while we're waiting , hopefully make some money on it and then we could move because d would be 18.

F@kkkk.

 

 

ps,swizzy, take that to the right section, we're all trying to cope with break ups here that's what it's about.

Edited May 26, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

Talk is so easy though isn't it.

Reality is though l've moved so many times in my life now and then 3 more after divorce alone, plus starting over financially, starting over yet again now would be a nightmare.

Edited May 26, 2017 by Chilli

[DarrenB]

PRAY, but have patience to wait for your prayers to be answered.

LOVE, and don't worry if people think you are crazy.

TRUST, but don't be naive.

DREAM, and learn how to overcome any fear of failure

[penelopeanne]

I am coping a little better now that I have cut off our social media connections.

I am having less obsessive thinking.

[Logo]

I have been doing well since I last posted here. Then a few days ago I started down this downward spiral and now I'm in tears. It's these triggers that set off an emotional chain reaction that are sometimes hard to snap out of, a phrase uttered by a stranger that reminds me of something, a song on the radio, a place we used to frequent. Yesterday, I spent the night thinking about us. Ha! "Us". There is no "us" anymore. There is only me and someone I used to know. I felt both angry and sad.

 

I can't seem to shake off the feeling of enjoying that comfortable familiarity that we had. It was wonderful. It almost seems like a lot of work to try and get to that point again with someone else.

 

I get excited by the possibility of a relationship sprouting from any positive romantic interaction, but then as quickly as my elation overwhelms me, that person disappears and with that so fade all my hopes and it feels like a punch to the stomach. So I hold onto that safety net that protects me from falling by keeping good memories of the past alive, the past relationship I had with my ex.

 

I feel all alone lately.

 

It was easy to put all the blame on her when we broke up because she cheated on me, but I have and I need to continue to learn from the mistakes I made during that relationship. I beat myself up for some of the things I said and did. I regret saying and doing them. In a few instances, she pushed me to do and say some things because they were normal reactions to what she said and did. But for the most part, I was the one who gave more, if I'm being honest with myself.

 

I lie in bed and I imagine her next to me, how warm and nice her body felt against mine. How good it felt to hold her tight. My mind was at peace. Everything was going to be okay. I remember holding her hand early on and thinking, "I don't know how I'm going to be able to deal with it if or when at some point she leaves me or we're no longer together."

Now I'm restless. I'm still trying to figure out my sleep cycle. I either sleep too much or too little. And the sadness is so strong I feel like I'm full of tears and pain just waiting to overflow.

Edited May 27, 2017 by Logo

[Chilli]

Think l've given myself a serious reminder and reality check earlier of why it all came to a head and couldn't go on.

And that was without even touching on her personality issues. l loved her good side from day one but oh man, the other bits.

You just couldn't put what's left of my future that l went through so much to rebuild, on the line, doing it all over again for her.

What if no matter what you did they just got even worse as the honeymoon dies down.

What if it really is BPD and it's just her. Today l'm reminded why am l here in the first place, sorry to tell myself but that's all why l am.

Edited May 27, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

But it doesn't make it any easier.

[Inya]

I'm trying to figure out what the hell am I feeling. How am I supposed to feel. Happy, sad, fortunate, confused, strong, concerned, optimistic, tragic.. I'm very slow at processing things like this, and what I think and how I feel is never the same, too many conflicts. That's why I have so much trouble coping. I haven't cried yet today, I'm afraid of a storm...

Nothing is new to me, I knew how he felt about me, I had no doubts, we are both miserable, yes he is in a same shape or worst and we have no solution. That's why I'm whining and jumping out of my skin and I will continue bc thats the only thing I can do. But I really didn't expect to hear his voice. And here comes crying...

[Chilli]

I'm trying to figure out what the hell am I feeling. How am I supposed to feel. Happy, sad, fortunate, confused, strong, concerned, optimistic, tragic.. I'm very slow at processing things like this, and what I think and how I feel is never the same, too many conflicts. That's why I have so much trouble coping. I haven't cried yet today, I'm afraid of a storm...

Nothing is new to me, I knew how he felt about me, I had no doubts, we are both miserable, yes he is in a same shape or worst and we have no solution. That's why I'm whining and jumping out of my skin and I will continue bc thats the only thing I can do. But I really didn't expect to hear his voice. And here comes crying...

 

 

Don't worry, chilli can tell you what your feeling if you forget

Hang in there.00

[Chilli]

l know we're both 1/2 trying to make this split work now and l don't blame her. lt's almost a relief .

Alternatively sometimes l think that's even where the personality sh@t might've been coming from , that and being worried l wasn't fully into it.

Subconsciously self sabotaging , snapping and cracking the sh@ts outa nowhere over nothing things. This was so hard on her and so much on her bc she was the one would be moving to the other side of the world and doing most the visiting, putting herself on the line for me even more than l would be.

 

Poor thing was terrified .

Edited May 27, 2017 by Chilli

[Inya]

But it doesn't make it any easier.

 

Yeah it sucks....whose fault is it, whose to blame, who did what, what was the reason for what, what if....and eating yourself up doesn't help one bit. You hang in there too, ok? 00