Sweetfish Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 sorry, I am totally out of the loop on any of that.....and have no idea as to the significance of those numbers or what they designate. I was simply referencing "blazed" as to what it was and does it help....sorry for my ignorance 420 is regards to smoking weed. Getting blazed also refers to smoking weed.
Logo Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 To anyone who is heartbroken. Who has tears streaming. Who's heart has been shattered. My wish is this may bring you hope and joy. There are stars you haven't seen, and loves you haven't loved. There's light you haven't felt and sunrises yet to dawn. There are dreams you haven't dreamt and days you haven't lived. Nights you won't forget and flowers yet to grow. There is more to you than you have yet to know. G.C I sincerely hope, one day, everyone on this forum has their heart filled with love and joy. Thank you. Words of inspiration. This was encouraging. I don't know why. I've become cynical lately, but I went out tonight and I socialized and met some new friendly and nice people and I had a good time. So your words came at the right time. They're very encouraging. 2
Soak Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Pretty angry (and disappointed) today. 'Ex' blocked me on facebook after 8 weeks of NC... Just another spiteful move on her behalf, makes getting over her easier as she is mean. I was doing really well up until that. I am determined to get back on track. Have finally decided it is over for good... I can do better.
Soak Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Applied for three jobs today and appeared in a training video Yaaay Emily :bunny: That's great Emily.. Have been reading your posts and find you inspiring. May good fortune continue to find you
anynomous34 Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Today had a lovely discussion with a couple of people .. the conversation stemmed on ex lovers and failed attempts in moving on.. in turn we discussed the various ways of coping.. each of us expressing different methods... led me to create this thread ... with this question... How do YOU cope successfully..? "Do tell!" *grabs pen pad*
Knix Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 My first breakup was HARD. I was so in love, together for two years and he cheated/ended things/dated someone else within a week. For a few weeks I was inconsolable, couldn't eat/couldn't sleep, just obsessed about getting him back (because I was feeling so low) and cried most of the day. Then my dad did something I'll never forget, he pulled out his wallet and handed me a few hundred dollars "Go get your hair done". This wasn't something I was even considering, I walked into the hair salon with puffy red eyes and dirty blonde hair, and my hair stylist made me BLONDE, like bombshell blonde. I left that day with a whole new outlook... I went and got a new wardrobe, got a (rebellious ) nose piercing and starting loving myself again. It didn't fix everything right then and there, were still moments where I would cry and be sad.. but it was the start to new beginnings. 1
anynomous34 Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 My first breakup was HARD. I was so in love, together for two years and he cheated/ended things/dated someone else within a week. For a few weeks I was inconsolable, couldn't eat/couldn't sleep, just obsessed about getting him back (because I was feeling so low) and cried most of the day. Then my dad did something I'll never forget, he pulled out his wallet and handed me a few hundred dollars "Go get your hair done". This wasn't something I was even considering, I walked into the hair salon with puffy red eyes and dirty blonde hair, and my hair stylist made me BLONDE, like bombshell blonde. I left that day with a whole new outlook... I went and got a new wardrobe, got a (rebellious ) nose piercing and starting loving myself again. It didn't fix everything right then and there, were still moments where I would cry and be sad.. but it was the start to new beginnings. I love this idea.. I'm thinking i should do the same.. or go on a little trip or something... Thanks for sharing
Knix Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Making big changes after a breakup really heals things. Take a trip, get a new hairstyle, get a tattoo... whatever it takes
Soak Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 get a tattoo Just don't get their name tattooed on you or anything 1
divegrl Posted April 22, 2017 Posted April 22, 2017 Today I needed a reminder We all faces seasons of feeling unloved and lonely, that sometimes feel impossible to get out of. But remember Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused. Because I spend my solitude with You. We are never alone. Have joy my friends!!!!!!
StrangerThanFiction Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 Overall, I've been doing very well. I've been getting out a lot with friends and have been working hard on self improvement, both mental and physical. My outlook on the future and on my life in general is satisfyingly positive. The only somewhat dark cloud is the fact that within the next week or so I'll be finding out if the ex will be coming back out here and I'll have to see him again. I find myself with mixed emotions regarding this. If I'm honest, a part of me wants him to come back. It's the lonely, insecure part of me that still hurts over being left for someone else, that questions why I wasn't good enough, and that seeks validation. It's the part that wants him to come back and see how much I've changed since he left and regret his decision to take up with this other woman. Thankfully, this is only a small part of me. The other part of me, the larger part, hopes that he doesn't come back. Hopes that he stays out of sight even if he isn't totally out of mind. Despite my sadness over the break up, my life has moved on without him and the place he had in it no longer exists. I'm looking forward to meeting someone new one day and I wouldn't go back to what we had even if it was on offer. So that's something at least. I won't deny that I still miss aspects of our relationship, and him, but on the whole I know that it wasn't what I really wanted and I wouldn't have been happy in the long run even if we had continued on. Unfortunately, knowing this can be empty comfort when I'm feeling lonely sometimes, but I know it will get better and the feeling will fade out completely one day. We've talked a few times since he told me he was with someone. He's made semi-veiled implications of a sexual nature towards me on more than one occasion. On one hand it gave me a little shot of validation and a little voice in my head saying "ooo, he still wants me!". On the other, it disgusted me that not only would he think that I would consent to be his side chick but the fact that he would be talking to another woman like that while he was in a relationship at all. It really reinforces the type of man- and I use the term loosely- he is. He's nothing more than a selfish man that is never happy with what he has and who undoubtedly did the exact same thing while we were together. So I guess we'll see what happens. 3
GeekLover Posted April 23, 2017 Posted April 23, 2017 Overall, I'm going pretty well. Today I'm just feeling angry and I'm obsessing over his cowardness. If there's any denial left, it's this-that I can't believe he ended things the way he did, that he was unable to do it to my face, and that most of the reasons he gave either contradicted each other or his recent actions pre- and post-breakup. Also, a good number of the reasons he gave were the first I ever heard from him. In fact, he always told me the EXACT opposite up until thw dump. I guess I'm just trying to forgive myself for believing he was the man I always thought he was. To forgive myself for supporting him through so much of his own life hurdles and to expect the same treatment when I finally had one of my own. Silly me. To forgive myself for taking him back after he dumped me the first time. That was probably my biggest mistake. I'd be WELL over it my now. Damn. 4
sorano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 no my friend life does not suck...maybe, there are moments that suck but LIFE IS A BLESSING and something to embrace and be a part of I hope that whatever is weighing on you gets easier soon Just how I feel at times. Life is not easy. Yes, it could be worse. But for me, when it rains, it pours. Nothing lasts forever, which is good. so any pain, sadness, suffering, whatever, will always come to an end and be better. 2
sorano Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 so, I still have no desire to date. Its just not for me. My cousin told me on friday, why not try again. You will never know unless you try again. so I made a profile on a dating site. This of course, is just to test the water. To actually see if I still have it in me. I sent out 25 emails. I got back 15 emails. Got all 15 numbers. Its carnage lol At the end of the day, I feel nothing. No desire to even meet any of them. It was a good experiment. Hey, at least I still got it 2
Earlybird2016 Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 15 months post break-up, alternating between numbness and crying/panic attacks (mostly the latter). 13 months of therapy, leaps and bounds of self-improvement in all areas (physical, mental, career etc). Recieving plenty of interest from the opposite sex but repulsed by the the thought of being with anyone but her. Haven't initiated contact in 14 months, and responded occasionally to her "Hey, saw this and thought of you" type texts. No real improvement in mood. She's engaged to the guy she left me for, so I'm accepting that there's no way back. Also accepting that, for me, that means there's no satisfying way forward either. 3
Logo Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 so, I still have no desire to date. Its just not for me. My cousin told me on friday, why not try again. You will never know unless you try again. so I made a profile on a dating site. This of course, is just to test the water. To actually see if I still have it in me. I sent out 25 emails. I got back 15 emails. Got all 15 numbers. Its carnage lol At the end of the day, I feel nothing. No desire to even meet any of them. It was a good experiment. Hey, at least I still got it I was about to write to caution you about online dating for the letdown that it is, and then I read that you got 15 responses. That's great. When I send out 25 or 30, I usually get 2 or 3 and maybe one phone number if I'm lucky. Maybe the pictures I put on my profile don't do me justice. I don't know. Met someone this past weekend, I'm going to ask her out. Let's see if I get a date out of it. The last person that was all over me one day, disappeared on me when I asked her out on a date.
GeekLover Posted April 24, 2017 Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) Quote: Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post Last night I discovered through mutual friend he has a new Gf. It made me realize I really do love him SO much. Seriously, THAT? THAT made you realize you love him SO much? You dumped him twice - what are you thinking, third time's a charm? What you're doing is selfish. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I read this in another thread today, and it fully hit me. I gave him his second chance and he threw me away AGAIN. There's no third chance. No F-in' way! After reading this, on top of some other similar responses in the same thread, I immediately chose to BLOCK his A$$. I had just deleted him before...but now he's blocked. Haven't heard from him in 5 months...but just in case... Good riddance! Edited April 24, 2017 by GeekLover 2
Jadedbyluv Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 Sighhh. When will I stop thinking of him every day? When will I stop crying? I've been through breakups but this one has been harder. I am trying to stay busy and active but as soon as I come home, I feel alone again. I start to think back and make myself upset. I miss having him as a friend. We used to talk about everything and I realized how much I needed someone like that in my life. Then when he left, the loneliness set in. For me, it's not so much wanting a relationship anymore. It's just building a solid friendship with someone. I've never had a good support system. Never had anybody who cared as much as I did. I really thought I finally found it then it's just gone. 1
DarrenB Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 'It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory, but when you succeed, you start to realize that you’re capable of far more than you have imagined. Visit your soul; don’t visit your past.' - Paulo Coehlo. 1
mortensorchid Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Just today he sent me a text, we have not spoken in about a month and a half. Right on the edge of taking it public, and then I found a business card for a DEA officer in his bag (he asked me to go into his bag and get his allergy meds, I was not snooping through his things). A Google search the next day gave me the information I was afraid I would find out and I said "Get out". He sent me a few texts since then saying he missed me and he wished I would forgive him. I do forgive him for lying by omission about his past (if I had such a past I would not share that with others, would any of us?), but I can't see him again. He sent me this link today on my phone ... I must resist the urge to see him again. Otherwise I will give in to loneliness and be with him again. And I can't.
Logo Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 Lately I've been thinking about how she changed just a few months into the relationship. I didn't like the behavioral pattern, but I chalked it up to this and that. I thought it was temporary, but things only got worse. It was a slow gradual change, that should have clued me in, but the longer I stayed the more attached I became, and I kept lowering my expectations. Instead of confronting her one day about something that changed in her behavior I thought it'd be better to play it cool and ignore it. But it was a missed opportunity to set boundaries, expectations and set her straight. I won't be repeating the same mistake again. 1
Cora Posted April 27, 2017 Posted April 27, 2017 Whenever I see a picture of him I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I still cannot comprehend everything. To just disappear from someone's life completely, without warning, without reason and without a goodbye and just move on with their life with your replacement as if nothing ever happened, has to be one of the cruelest jokes ever...only it's not a joke. It's very much reality. I've gone through feeling shock, disbelief, sadness, downright depression, anger, to being ashamed, confusion, back to sadness. So many emotions. It's been two years and I'm still cycling through all the emotions trying to make sense of it all. I still have the damn scrabble game we used to play. Has the notepad in there we kept score on with his handwriting on it. Can't bear to get rid of it. It's the only reminder I have of him as silly as it might sound. I haven't pulled out that game and played it since he left. Can't bring myself to even touch it. I'm afraid of being flooded with all the memories. So it just sits on the shelf collecting dust. Funny how I can't bear to get rid of it because of the memories and yet I can't bear to even open the game up because of the same memories. If that even makes any sense. I used to journal about everytime we were together...everything from the first date and on. Since he left I can't open that journal. I can't bring myself to read any of it. Yet can't get rid of it. I never wrote about the ending. Perhaps because it was too painful. Perhaps because I wouldn't know what to write. The ending wasn't clear. He did not make things clear. So it's left unwritten just like his goodbye was left unsaid... 1
MeadowFlower Posted April 27, 2017 Posted April 27, 2017 (edited) I wish I knew where I stood (not with ex), even if it's probably or maybe not going to be great for me to hear. All you people that don't have a relationship or an interest, hey at least you're free in that aspect. No wondering what they think, if they'll get back to you or not, no worrying if you're to their liking, etc. Freedom. Enjoy lol. Edited April 27, 2017 by MeadowFlower 3
MrPlop Posted April 27, 2017 Posted April 27, 2017 Had a date scheduled but she called it off for the second time, something along the lines she woke up from bed late. Clearly not interested or simply no moral character. I said it was fine no worries but she's completely off the list now. 1
MeadowFlower Posted April 27, 2017 Posted April 27, 2017 Had a date scheduled but she called it off for the second time, something along the lines she woke up from bed late. Clearly not interested or simply no moral character. I said it was fine no worries but she's completely off the list now. Yea dude, we don't need that sort of thing in our lives. 1
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