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How are you coping today?

Riou

By Riou
in Coping

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Jopes Member

Jopes

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We blame ourselves to much. If someone wants to leave then they will leave. Thank you Facebook for entertainment and comfort.

MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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Maybe I could keep hope locked up securely with thick concrete walls, and not let her out until things are more sure or something. Not regarding the ex, but for things on OLD. :(

Cora Established Member

Cora

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Woke up crying this morning. I miss him and don't know why... But most of all I feel stupid for falling for him and not seeing reality sooner.

  • Like 1
Jopes Member

Jopes

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They are all hurdles and you do get through them. In between the first and second hurtle, the rest seem so impossible. The key is to keep going. To build a bridge full of goals and self achieving happiness, the key to being a good partner is to be your full and complete self. If you are single or in a relationship, these things are a must anyways. The more you get past each hurdle and succeed, that is when it get's easier.

 

So many people will look at you and your situation from their experience and that is when people make false judgment. The hardest part is balancing between an open mind and self protecting boundaries.

 

 

Most people will hurt you. That's just how they are so keep strong and use the right places to vent and reach out to people. your all so lucky your ex doesn't read this. I would love to share more!

DarrenB Established Member

DarrenB

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Losing a battle or losing everything we thought we possessed will bring us moments of sadness, but when those moments pass, we will discover the hidden strength that exists in each of us, a strength that will surprise us and increase our self-respect. We look around and say to ourselves: ‘I survived.’ And we will be cheered by our words. Only those who fail to recognise that inner strength will say: ‘I lost,’ and be sad.

 

- Paulo Coehlo, Manuscript found in Accra.

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sorano Established Member

sorano

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Killed chest tonight in the gym. Felt good. stupid crazy pump. But I sit here pondering. My mind just goes wild at times and I can't control it. still a little angry on how I was treated by my ex.

 

I still dont have ambition to date. I don't even look at women anymore. Just dont care for them. Are all women bad, no. At least I hope. But at this moment, they are the least of my worries and have no cares to give.

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Cora Established Member

Cora

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I had a dream of him last night. I don't know why I'm dreaming of him since he hasn't been on my mind anymore than normal. This dream was different though. I usually have dreams of us still together and happy. This dream was of us now. In this dream I knew we were over. I spotted him in this arcade type place near his home. Not sure why he or I were there as we both don't go to arcades. Anyway, I spotted him and I froze. He walked up behind me in passing. I turned my head away in shame. Not sure why I was ashamed to be seen. I remember thinking my hair is a mess, but that wasn't why I was ashamed. It was probably because I still was not over him and that made me feel bad. I felt like he noticed me, but he didn't say anything. He mumbled something, but I couldn't make it out and I don't think it was directed towards me. Then he was gone. I remember thinking....I wonder what he is doing here at this time of day? Then I thought oh he must just be passing the time on the way to work since he works third shift. This dream seemed so real.

 

I woke up feeling numb and nostalgic. Not sure why this dream was different in the fact that in this dream we were already broken up. Unless it's because I'm finally starting to accept that it's over. That all hope is dead. It's been two damn years since he left me. I should have been accepted this by now! Perhaps I still dream about him because I'm still seeking closure since I got no goodbye from him. Ever since that dream he's been on my mind all day. To top things off, on the way home from work today I passed him on the highway. He didn't notice it was me or if he did he did not care or let on that he knew. I've passed him several times before on the way home. I really should find a new route. But damnit why should I have to change my route for him?

 

I sometimes wonder if he even remembers what kind of car I drive? Probably not. But his is burned into my brain. I remember when he bought it brand new. A Christmas gift to himself he said. I wonder how long these dreams will go on? When will the memory of him and all the hurt finally die?

StrangerThanFiction Established Member

StrangerThanFiction

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I had an amazing time at the event I went to on the weekend. I went with my friend, her bf, and her bf's friend who we'll just call L. L and I hit it off and ended up having sex on the last night. That's quicker than I usually move with men but I had no misgivings about it and I enjoyed myself. My only regret is that we didn't exchange numbers. I did tell my friend that if he ever mentioned wanting it she should definitely give it to him, but so far nada. It makes me a bit sad because he was a really chill guy and we had a lot in common and I really would've liked to get to know him better. Maybe see where things could go. If I don't hear from him, well, I'll try to chalk it up as a bonus to an already epic weekend. Still...he's been on my mind a lot for the past few days.

 

Another positive that came from this was that L completely wiped the ex from my mind. I think what I needed was to again meet someone I was attracted to and could possibly consider dating. I think a large part of what was holding me back was believing that I wouldn't find someone else as attractive as I found the ex. Now that I know it's possible it's given me a resurgence of hope for a relationship with someone in the future. The ex called me a day after I got home from the event and I felt...nothing. When I saw his name on my caller ID I didn't get the usual flutter and was more annoyed than anything because he had woken me up. It felt liberating.

 

So, I guess we'll see if anything happens with L. I'd like it to, but if not I'll just try to be grateful for the positives from the experience.

  • Like 1
Tanyasinclair Established Member

Tanyasinclair

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Today would have been our beloved family cat's birthday, if he were still with us. Funnily I don't even remember how old he would have been now... he passed away back in 2008 or so.

 

I.... also just feel like I miss people. I miss my pets, especially since they were family too.... they were my children, really, in a way.

 

I also miss the simple days when I was a child. So simple were the days when all you had to do to get anything was smile, look cute, and giggle in some cases. When there weren't any worries in the world yet, and all that mattered was the comforting arms of a parent and playtime with your stuffed animals.

 

If only true love could have been found, and if only it could have been so simple as losing a glass slipper and then having the perfect man find you and lead you off to his castle....

  • Like 1
Logo Established Member

Logo

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Another positive that came from this was that L completely wiped the ex from my mind. I think what I needed was to again meet someone I was attracted to and could possibly consider dating. I think a large part of what was holding me back was believing that I wouldn't find someone else as attractive as I found the ex. Now that I know it's possible it's given me a resurgence of hope for a relationship with someone in the future.

 

I know exactly what you mean. I have been feeling the same and I'm waiting for something like that to happen. I'm trying to make it happen and hopefully have someone for the long term.

 

 

I think it's hope, or lackthereof, that keeps us bogged down sometimes. Once you're with someone new, someone you like and see a future with, you drop the past and sprint foreword.

 

 

PS: Good for you.

Gillys Established Member

Gillys

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I’ve been incredibly lonely over the past few days. I’ve been trying to focus on self-improvement for months (NC, removed triggers, new exercise program, books, hobbies, new job). But boy this last week has had a few rough days in it…. I just went for a run and tried to enjoy the beautiful weather here. As soon as I came back inside from my run I broke down and started crying. I wasn't crying over my ex I was just overcome with loneliness. I don’t want my ex back, I know we aren’t good for each other and I especially don’t like the person she has become after I was dumped. I’ve been looking forward to this 4 day weekend for days but right now I feel so lonely and numb. :(

MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

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Will I ever learn :( :(

Never ever EVER be in that position again. Abandon the paths of relationships. Why did I not just stay in my own little world. Well back I go, me myself and I. Note to self: Stay there!!

I should love myself, like myself and be a friend to myself, wether I deserve it or not, wether I suck a bit or not, wether anyone likes me or not and wether I suck to males as a general rule or not.

Edited by MeadowFlower
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DarrenB Established Member

DarrenB

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Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.

If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.

And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.

__________

Paulo Coelho, "Manuscript found in Accra"

Edited by DarrenB
EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

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Today is a hard day.

 

My ex has had a breakdown.

 

I let him come over for dinner twice.

 

Because contact with me keeps him stable according to the doctors.

 

But it's so hard on me.

 

I keep the boundary of being seperated and he needs to work on his stuff.

 

But it's complicated because he is just so so so sick.

 

Last year we were away on a romantic Easter break and looking at engagement rings. This year I was helping him bathe. That is how sick he is. I'm scared I will get a phone call he has killed himself.

 

I am so sad at what my life has become, of what other people find so easily. All I want is a job and a partner who wants a family. Before I can't have children.

 

But I'm so miserable I'm making it even harder.

 

I'm so very lonely and scared.

 

I don't want to miss out on the normal life things. My doctor says I am depressed. I haven't had an episode of depression in so long.

 

So there's no way I can meet anyone else soon because I'm not a catch right now.

 

I'm so sad. Watching everyone else get married and have children. While I'm locked in this sad little storyline.

EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

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I want something good to happen.

 

I'm trying to do things to make things happen.

 

But I'm very slow. I am looking at volunteer work too. Tutoring disadvantaged children. I like teaching and I need to feel like I can do something and making a difference.

 

He left yesterday and I fell asleep for three hours then woke up and cried for four.

 

I've deleted his contact details and just not told him. Figured he can still call in an emergency then but I can have my own space.

 

But I'm not doing well.

 

I'm so lonely

 

What am I going to do if I can never work full time again and I don't meet anyone or get to have a child?

 

That's no life.

Edited by EmilyJane
whatnot Established Member

whatnot

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.....slept

EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

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Posted (edited)
Today is a hard day.

 

My ex has had a breakdown.

 

I let him come over for dinner twice.

 

Because contact with me keeps him stable according to the doctors.

 

But it's so hard on me.

 

I keep the boundary of being seperated and he needs to work on his stuff.

 

But it's complicated because he is just so so so sick.

 

Last year we were away on a romantic Easter break and looking at engagement rings. This year I was helping him bathe. That is how sick he is. I'm scared I will get a phone call he has killed himself.

 

I am so sad at what my life has become, of what other people find so easily. All I want is a job and a partner who wants a family. Before I can't have children.

 

But I'm so miserable I'm making it even harder.

 

I'm so very lonely and scared.

 

I don't want to miss out on the normal life things. My doctor says I am depressed. I haven't had an episode of depression in so long.

 

So there's no way I can meet anyone else soon because I'm not a catch right now.

 

I'm so sad. Watching everyone else get married and have children. While I'm locked in this sad little storyline.

 

Now have been to my doctor

 

He says I am in shock.

 

From seeing him like that.

 

I have so many things I should be doing.

 

But I'm frozen and exhausted.

 

Please. Please can something good happen. I don't want to be alone forever. I don't want to be stuck. I know I'm not doing enough to get a job I can do.

 

I'm so tired.

Edited by EmilyJane
brostocow New Member

brostocow

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Day 11 since I came home to an empty house: don't have any idea how I've coped. Hardest 11 days of my life. I miss her so much. I have to stop the constant phone calls and trying to talk to her. It's driving her further away. It's getting on top of me. Now I have work to go back to. I don't think I can do it. Anymore of it. It's killing me, beyond pain I thought was possible.

EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

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My sex drive is going through the roof.

 

Despite the misery.

 

I have no idea what I am going to do about it. I can't date new people yet and I've got to keep dragging myself through fixing my life.

 

It's getting ridiculous. I'm getting turned on by the smallest thing and I found myself staring at two construction workers today. Like really staring.

 

I don't know what to do.

BluesPower Established Member

BluesPower

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Emily, Please don't have anything to do with your ex...`

 

Some of that is kind of normal. Your not crazy.

 

Don't you have any old FB's that you can call up or something?

 

I know it may sound sleazy but you know, people have needs.

  • Like 1
EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

Posted
Posted (edited)
Emily, Please don't have anything to do with your ex...`

 

Some of that is kind of normal. Your not crazy.

 

Don't you have any old FB's that you can call up or something?

 

I know it may sound sleazy but you know, people have needs.

 

Oh dude don't even worry - I really wasn't thinking of my ex!

 

He's not showing up because he wants sex or to get me back.

 

He's doing it because he's scared and suicidal.

 

I don't think he could even have sex right now if he wasn't, he's broken. Like a little kid. There's no way I could want to have sex with him in this condition even if I did get past the past, like he's that bad. He can barely function. I had to help him bathe and get his family involved. It was traumatic.

 

Like there just aren't the words to describe what he is like right now or the sort of complex horror of it.

 

Now I'm not saying that I would be able to say no for long if things were different, but they aren't.

Edited by EmilyJane
  • Like 1
4x4storm Established Member

4x4storm

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I have been no contact with my toxic ex for 2-3 months now since the day we broke up (Yay) :D. She has made no attempt to contact me which is also a good thing but also proves I meant nothing to her. But as I was scrolling through facebook at my old feed I came a across an old comment she left and I noticed she updated her profile picture.

 

Hugging her new boyfriend but dosn't look like the guy she cheated on me with. I immediately ran a hot shower and spent most of it crying on the floor. I started dry retching at the thought of them two the strange thing is i'm not jealous of him but just disgusted with his goatee and greasy looking hair. Just makes me feel sick :sick:

 

I never thought a break up could rock me so hard like this but overall I have been doing pretty well i've been hitting the gym like crazy and seeing results! I also have been on 1-2 dates since the breakup but no keepers yet :)

 

Stay Strong Guys!

  • Like 1
divegrl Established Member

divegrl

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It's easy to be fearless, when I want or need nothing from you.

 

But what I already have.

 

Peace to you my friends.

  • Like 2
EmilyJane Established Member

EmilyJane

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Applied for three jobs today and appeared in a training video

 

 

Yaaay Emily :bunny::bunny:

  • Like 4
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