Merriweather Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 I would say I'm doing terribly...but I'm not doing as bad as I was the first week. I still wake up sad at the realization of everything. I realized my focus should be, What am I going to do now? What am I going to make of my life now that I'm alone again? But everything I try to do for myself backfires & I don't feel better. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to get on with my life, why can't my emotions just let me?
p87 Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 Realize yesterday that she has a new boyfriend. When she broke it off with me, she told me that she cannot commit to anyone right now, and stupidly, I told her I'll wait, but we have a few arguments later on, and she blocked me. It's been four months, I saw her post on social media and decided to add her back as a friend, but don't know if she will. I felt betrayed but also relieved. In the end, I realize that I'm free and she was just making excuses for herself to get out of a relationship with me. I'm angry but today when I saw her, I said hi and ask her how's she's doing. She wanted to ignore me and hesitate to talk to me, but I know I'm fine. I feel bad afterwards, but I feel like I got more clarity everyday. The fact is that she dump me, and it hurts when she says she cares about me but in reality she doesn't and all she care is moving on and having her new bf now. Felt like I wasted my time the past few months mourning and crying about her when she is out there meeting new guys. Sure call me stupid, but I know for sure I put in my love and effort in our relationship, and I know I deserve better, because I'm not **** and she shouldn't treat me like this after she dump me.
EmilyJane Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 (edited) I am not sure I am coping at all today. My stomach is a mess of knots. It's 8am here and I've been awake for a while but feel glued to the bed. I keep thinking of all my appalling behaviour. It's been running on a loop. Then I think about how to fix it. Then I think about his substance abuse problem and how there is no way to have a healthy relationship. Then I feel so angry and sad. I've made it pretty difficult for either of us to break no contact. So I don't think I will break but the temptation is pretty strong. I'm still managing to keep building my life back ticking along but there is just so much empty time alone in our house. Edited April 3, 2017 by EmilyJane
EmilyJane Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 (edited) Oh dear god now I've got notice the house is being sold. I have literally no security or stability in any area of my life anymore And now I've broken and tried to call my ex. I don't know what I am going to do Edited April 3, 2017 by EmilyJane
airborne3502 Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Oh dear god now I've got notice the house is being sold. I have literally no security or stability in any area of my life anymore And now I've broken and tried to call my ex. I don't know what I am going to do You've got time to react before the house is sold. Take a deep breath and think about the things you have control over, what your options are, and focus on those. You are strong and you've got this. You never would have made it this far if you weren't. Besides, I've got your back. 1
EmilyJane Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 (edited) You've got time to react before the house is sold. Take a deep breath and think about the things you have control over, what your options are, and focus on those. You are strong and you've got this. You never would have made it this far if you weren't. Besides, I've got your back. Thank you. He called back. Saying we will handle it and that he was going to help and stuff. He loves me. I cried the whole time. Managed to be firm I shouldn't have called and we weren't a couple and I was going to rely on my family. That it wasnt ok to be in contact much until he's sought help, cut off talk of reconciliation (no idea if this is even what he wanted) saying there was no way we could explore being together until he's been clean and sober and in treatment for a few months. I suppose at least he's expressed awareness of financial responsibility. He's not doing well. It hurt to hear him suffer. He cried. He doesn't do that. More stuff about having quit weed and seeing our doctor, reminded him his alcohol abuse was the thing that destroyed our relationship. Said he'd only had beer on the weekend. Repeated the same stuff about the clean sober and in treatment boundary because I've heard it all before. Reminded him every time I've needed him the last few months he's been drunk. I cut him off from saying much. I told him anything he thought he'd left unsaid he could email and I would read when I was strong enough. Figured that was better than leaving the phone open. Then I can't get blindsided. Can chose not to read. It was so hard to hear him being full supportive. Why couldn't he do it when I was still there, to save our relationship? Made me so angry sad. Then I just collapsed with a migraine. It's a very specific migraine, my [his name] migraine. Usually induced from interacting with him when he's got a load on. But I did it. Kept the boundary I almost blurred. Deleted record of his call so I don't have the number. Pulled it together. Organised some job hunting stuff. Cognitive testing for government position tomorrow and PhD meeting on campus. Tried to do some logic puzzles as prep for a bit. Points only for effort there. I'm still managing to achieve two things a day to build a better future. But it still feels like dragging myself through molasses with leg weights on. It's 10pm here. I am so so tired of hurting and struggling. But at least I've got my dog and have somehow inspired the support of strangers I think my biggest weakness is when I get big shocks I forget my own power and diminish it by wanting someone to rescue me. But that is my job and I wouldn't like it very much if someone else just fixed things for me. I don't know. Maybe I'm being to hard on myself and it's normal to seek reassurance and support so that you can keep fighting. I'm so tired. The constant misery and lonely quiet is oppressive. I miss being held while I went to sleep. Waking up with this big warm person wrapped around me protecting me and snoring in my ear Sorry for long ramble. Going to try fall asleep watching Archer Edited April 4, 2017 by EmilyJane
airborne3502 Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Thank you. You're welcome. He called back. Saying we will handle it and that he was going to help and stuff. He loves me. I cried the whole time. Managed to be firm I shouldn't have called and we weren't a couple and I was going to rely on my family. That it wasnt ok to be in contact much until he's sought help, cut off talk of reconciliation (no idea if this is even what he wanted) saying there was no way we could explore being together until he's been clean and sober and in treatment for a few months. I suppose at least he's expressed awareness of financial responsibility. He's not doing well. It hurt to hear him suffer. He cried. He doesn't do that. More stuff about having quit weed and seeing our doctor, reminded him his alcohol abuse was the thing that destroyed our relationship. Said he'd only had beer on the weekend. Repeated the same stuff about the clean sober and in treatment boundary because I've heard it all before. Reminded him every time I've needed him the last few months he's been drunk. I cut him off from saying much. I told him anything he thought he'd left unsaid he could email and I would read when I was strong enough. Figured that was better than leaving the phone open. Then I can't get blindsided. Can chose not to read. It was so hard to hear him being full supportive. Why couldn't he do it when I was still there, to save our relationship? Made me so angry sad. I said a prayer for you when you said you'd called him. I knew you were going to be going on this ride and that it was going to be a bumpy one. Then I just collapsed with a migraine. It's a very specific migraine, my [his name] migraine. Usually induced from interacting with him when he's got a load on. But I did it. Kept the boundary I almost blurred. Deleted record of his call so I don't have the number. Way to rally! High Five! Pulled it together. Organised some job hunting stuff. Cognitive testing for government position tomorrow and PhD meeting on campus. Tried to do some logic puzzles as prep for a bit. Points only for effort there. Beats curled up in the fetal position every time. I'm still managing to achieve two things a day to build a better future. But it still feels like dragging myself through molasses with leg weights on. "It ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit...and keep moving forward...how much you can take...and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" - Rocky Balboa It's 10pm here. What are you in OZ or something? Great Britain? Favourite instead of favorite was my first clue. I am so so tired of hurting and struggling. But at least I've got my dog and have somehow inspired the support of strangers You give a lot of yourself in the form of helpful advise to others. karma is paying you back. I think my biggest weakness is when I get big shocks I forget my own power and diminish it by wanting someone to rescue me. But that is my job and I wouldn't like it very much if someone else just fixed things for me. I don't know. We all want that. Usually we want the rescuer to be the person that delivered the shock! Maybe I'm being to hard on myself. YES, you are. and it's normal to seek reassurance and support so that you can keep fighting. Yep. I'm so tired. The constant misery and lonely quiet is oppressive. Hopefully soon, you will be able to rest your troubled soul. I miss being held while I went to sleep. Waking up with this big warm person wrapped around me protecting me and snoring in my ear My ex put off a lot of heat and I miss sleeping with my hand on her big butt. Fortunately, there is no shortage of girls with a little junk in da trunk. Sorry for long ramble. Going to try fall asleep watching Archer No apologies necessary, and if you really can't sleep, try watching "2001: A Space Odyssey." I've yet to successfully make it through it... 1
Osmium13 Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Jeez, this just goes on and on. Bumped into to you unexpectedly this morning. Your caffeine-deprived brown eyes were softer than usual and it caught me off-guard. Predictably, I fell right into them. It seems that every time I think I've got a grip on these feelings, you show up... planting yourself back in my mind and rooting like Japanese Knotweed. I'm still half-heartedly trying to convince myself that all those "signs" I'm picking up are just my imagination playing tricks on me. I hope I'm wrong.
Cora Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. Hit a dark spot today. Maybe I don't deserve to keep anyone in my life. Maybe I'm damaged goods. Perhaps I'm just a stopping point on a mans journey to take from me what they need until they find their love. All these thoughts flood into my mind....maybe I'm not interesting enough, pretty enough, intelligent enough, funny enough, mysterious enough, outgoing enough, exciting enough, thoughtful enough, positive enough etc. I keep thinking back to him. Wondering why he chose her over me? What did she have that I didn't? When did he meet her? How did he meet her? Was it love at first site? Why did she deserve him and I didn't? What did she do so right in her life to get the one man I adored and loved more than anything? What made him think so little of me and so highly of her? And why did he not respect me enough to give me a goodbye? Was I not even deserving of that? So many questions I will never get the answers to. I'll never get closure from him. I know in the grand scheme of things all this does not matter. Doesn't stop my mind from wondering though and doesn't stop my heart from yearning. I miss him everyday while I'm not even remotely on his radar. What a cruel world this can be....to live with a broken heart.
EmilyJane Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) I said a prayer for you when you said you'd called him. I knew you were going to be going on this ride and that it was going to be a bumpy one. I totally didn't. I figured he would just ignore it and was quietly thankful he didn't answer and then deleted number and didn't recognise it when he called back. I mean it's not like he didn't have the chance when I was still there to hang on to me by doing the right thing. What are you in OZ or something? Great Britain? Favourite instead of favorite was my first clue. Oz. What you mean still have the letter u in the alphabet? Usually we want the rescuer to be the person that delivered the shock! I don't think the things I usually get the impulse to be rescued from are like that, I mean what am I going to do ring the agent/owners up crying and asking not to sell the house? Hopefully soon, you will be able to rest your troubled soul. So totally not tonight. It is 9.30pm and I've just taken the last psychometric test for today and omg I am so wired on caffeine. Which I usually can't drink because it makes me not sleep. What an intense day. I have been preparing and taking tests some 1.30pm. Probably need to eat or something. My brains are so overused they are melting out my ears. It's seriously the weirdest feeling; completely wired but totally mentally exhausted. I think physically too underneath. It's going to be a looong night My ex put off a lot of heat and I miss sleeping with my hand on her big butt. Fortunately, there is no shortage of girls with a little junk in da trunk. Dude I have no idea at all how to reply to this. Like... No apologies necessary, and if you really can't sleep, try watching "2001: A Space Odyssey." I've yet to successfully make it through it... Omg has anyone? I remember watching it in from first year film class and coming to the conclusion it was not intelligible without taking the acid the director was clearly on. Edited April 5, 2017 by EmilyJane
airborne3502 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I know you are physically and mentally exhausted right now, but working out can really take the edge off things. When I leave it all on the gym floor, I'm usually too tired to devote any energy to feeling bad. It's a wonderfully euphoric and equally blank state of mind. You should try it. If you don't have time, make it. Problems seem a lot smaller, and the physical improvements are a nice perk. I was a personal trainer for 15 years, and I've seen even the most broken clients rise from the ashes of their heartbreak like The Phoenix. It's kept me sane this last month, in conjunction with boring strangers to death on this website. Yesterday was the one month anniversary of break up day. I'm feeling pretty good overall, despite being subjected to the Kobayashi Maru scenario. PS. I loved Australia, and loved Australians when I visited there. I saw Sydney, Melbourne, and Cairns. I particularly enjoyed Tjapukai. I'm deadly with a spear now! NASM, AFAA, NCSF certified personal trainer 1
EmilyJane Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) Been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. Hit a dark spot today. Maybe I don't deserve to keep anyone in my life. Maybe I'm damaged goods. Perhaps I'm just a stopping point on a mans journey to take from me what they need until they find their love. All these thoughts flood into my mind....maybe I'm not interesting enough, pretty enough, intelligent enough, funny enough, mysterious enough, outgoing enough, exciting enough, thoughtful enough, positive enough etc. I keep thinking back to him. Wondering why he chose her over me? What did she have that I didn't? When did he meet her? How did he meet her? Was it love at first site? Why did she deserve him and I didn't? What did she do so right in her life to get the one man I adored and loved more than anything? What made him think so little of me and so highly of her? And why did he not respect me enough to give me a goodbye? Was I not even deserving of that? So many questions I will never get the answers to. I'll never get closure from him. I know in the grand scheme of things all this does not matter. Doesn't stop my mind from wondering though and doesn't stop my heart from yearning. I miss him everyday while I'm not even remotely on his radar. What a cruel world this can be....to live with a broken heart. It is not you. Being left for someone else or having them replace you immediately is the most emotionally brutal of all break ups. It's not how good well-adjusted men and women do things. You don't need closure from him. And I doubt he's capable of if because it would mean being aware of behaviour. Relationship jumpers don't usually do what they do because of the women they are with. I doubt they even know the next one all thst well and they've usually been prepping the next one since the close of the honeymoon phase started setting in. Don't let his choices be the benchmark you compare yourself to. You are not less of a woman than the replacement - the reverse is usually true. And even if it weren't it's not like it's only possible for one woman in the world to be funny smart etc. Take closure for yourself. Edited April 5, 2017 by EmilyJane 3
EmilyJane Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I know you are physically and mentally exhausted right now, but working out can really take the edge off things. When I leave it all on the gym floor, I'm usually too tired to devote any energy to feeling bad. It's a wonderfully euphoric and equally blank state of mind. You should try it. If you don't have time, make it. Problems seem a lot smaller, and the physical improvements are a nice perk. I was a personal trainer for 15 years, and I've seen even the most broken clients rise from the ashes of their heartbreak like The Phoenix. It's kept me sane this last month, in conjunction with boring strangers to death on this website. Yesterday was the one month anniversary of break up day. I'm feeling pretty good overall, despite being subjected to the Kobayashi Maru scenario. PS. I loved Australia, and loved Australians when I visited there. I saw Sydney, Melbourne, and Cairns. I particularly enjoyed Tjapukai. I'm deadly with a spear now! NASM, AFAA, NCSF certified personal trainer So this is weird, I was actually online when you posted this but when I replied to Cora the thread for me had two posts in a row, yours just was not there. It's a bit complicated with my injury and horrible immune system at the moment, I had an appendix flare up three weeks ago so I'm only just cleared for excercise. It's been really frustrating TBH. Accepting that my body has changed and can't be like it was before. But even without that I would not excercise at 9pm. I just don't. I try to have wind down time in the evenings. 8pm has always been my excercise cut off time. But I have signed up for a training and nutrition schedule at my gym. I've actually got the first weights session with the excercise physiologist this afternoon.
daisywoozy Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 It's been 2 weeks since I last saw him, when he came to drop off my stuff. It wasn't a bad departure really, I got out what I needed to say and it seemed to resonate with him I think, as he had watery eyes by the end of it. Critical, but compassionate, is how I viewed it. And he hugged me, I gave him a kiss, and told him if he really wanted to get to know me, to hit me up cause otherwise I wouldn't be contacting him. But today is his birthday, and all week I had gone back and forth with the idea of wishing him well or keeping no contact... This morning, after having a dream of sobbing over him (I guess I must be repressing my emotions for them to be so violent in my dream), I told myself no. I would not do it. After class, I broke and ended up texting him happy birthday anyways. Happy birthday, hope you can enjoy some cake or that elusive chess pie! (Once in a coffee shop together he pointed out their chocolate chess pie he wanted to try. Next time we came in, it was all gone and so he never got to try it.) I probably regret texting him, cause waiting 4 hours for his reply gave me a huge headache and wasn't worth it. But now his number is erased and I can hopefully forget about it all.
Jadedbyluv Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 I caved tonight and called him. Knowing that there was a possibility he wouldn't answer and this would set me back, I still did it. And of course he didn't answer. So much has happened in the last few weeks, he's the only person I want to talk to about it all. It makes me sad when I should be happy. I just miss him so much. I miss being able to talk to him more than anything. Don't know why the last few days have been so hard. Ahhh.
DarrenB Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 “You can't say to the spring: "Come now and last forever." You can only say: "Come and bless me with your hope, and stay as long as you can.” ― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Well, I'm doing better than I was immediately after finding out my ex had a new gf. I was a mess after hearing it and I was filled with so much anger, bitterness, jealousy, and sadness. I couldn't stop picturing them together and wondering what she has that I don't. The thoughts just went round and round in my head until it made me physically ill. Out of desperation I turned to the Internet to try to find a way to stop, or at least lessen, these thoughts and surprisingly I found something that actually helped. I found an article by a psychologist that states the brain cannot differentiate between something that's happening right in front of your eyes from scenarios you make up in your own mind. So if you're picturing the ex happy with someone new your brain reacts the same way as if you were actually seeing it right in front of you. She goes on to give a really simple way to stop the obsessive thoughts. Basically: 1)When you realize you're thinking about it you focus instead on something in your physical environment like the color of your couch or the feel of the carpet under your feet. 2)Then you say to yourself, silently or out loud, "What I'm thinking is not happening right now". 3)Then, try to instead think about something pleasurable or positive like an upcoming concert or getting together with a friend or something. Amazingly, it helped immediately for me. It also made me realize how much I had been living in the past and worrying about the future in my mind and how much it had been holding me down. Over the last few days I've noticed that I'm not thinking obsessively about him any more and I've been a lot more present in the moment. At first I thought that maybe this was a form of avoidance but I went in to see a therapist and asked her about it and she said that no, it isn't avoiding processing emotion, it's training your mind to live more in the present and break cycles of obsessive thought. So hooray for healthy coping mechanisms! I also told the friend who had told me about the ex and his new gf that if he hears anything more about him or them I don't want to know, that I don't want to hear it regardless of what it is. He no longer has a place in my life and always being anxious about hearing something else that could hurt me wasn't helping me move on. That brought me a huge amount of relief. Now the only concern I have is if the ex is coming back to my province to work this spring. I have an important document of his that he needs so I may have to see him if he does come back, but I'm thinking about just giving it to my friend to give to him so I can avoid that completely. Overall, yeah, definitely doing better. Still a little sad but it decreases every day and I'm going to an event this weekend that will hopefully be a blast and keep me happily occupied. 1
Logo Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 (edited) Some days when my blood sugar levels get very low I find my thoughts wandering. Yesterday I found myself getting upset about some of the cruel things she said to me in the last few days of the relationship. Those words kept reverberating in my head like a ball bouncing off of walls, back and forth. It's during those moments that I ask myself, "What was I thinking? Why did I stay with her?" And today, some thoughts about our early days in the relationship crept up on me and I thought of those small red flags that I ignored because I thought it wasn't a big deal, people make mistakes, no one's perfect; "Maybe she's got a lot on her mind today and she didn't mean it." But hindsight being 20/20, I now realize that there were minuscule red flags as early as the first week of the relationship. Of course, I'm not psychic and the flags weren't blatant deal breakers, but in hindsight they explain what happened down the proverbial road. Live and learn. I just feel jaded and cynical because I have been very picky since the breakup. Maybe it's a good thing. But I hope I'm not subconsciously looking for the negative side of every person I meet because I think I'm protecting myself and being extra careful. Edited April 7, 2017 by Logo
Jopes Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 I have come to terms with much of the unknown. The questions that I once had, I no longer question but now a ton of new questions stem through my mind to the point I am lying in bed obsessing over it. I have the right medications. I was diagnosed bipolar so anytime I went in with anxiety, they assumed me to be suffering mania and I received these medications and the more I reacted as though I was not getting better, the more those in my life would threaten to take my child away. So needless to say, I end up at the lawyers and now I have the truth be known to all and I am doing much better. This person from my past did not care about me nor did anyone of his friends. I guess I just want to know how to move on and stop thinking about it. I have class on Monday. I have a new client tomorrow. I crashed a lot during this but each time I manage to get back up with a new job. I have stability. I have a future for my son. I have so many reasons to just go work out and forget this whole thing. Aside from the fact, he sent a man to my gym. I not only want this guy to stop showing up in my future but to seriously put this behind me.
Logo Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Feeling lonelier than I have in the last 6 months or so. Went out with friends who were moody and that ruined the evening. I was looking forward to it the entire week. It exacerbated my loneliness. I walked around the bar/club and asked myself, "Don't I deserve to be loved, the way I deserve to be loved?" After the breakup I was determined to forge ahead, find someone that I could get along with, but after a few attempts that led nowhere and a financial crisis, followed by some nasty shutdowns from a couple of women, I took a backseat view to the whole thing. But if you ask me how I feel now, today, compared to the way I felt a month after the breakup, I'd tell that I feel emotionally numb. Back then, I still had hope, I still had good memories to hold onto and say to myself, "I will have that again soon". I have forgotten what it feels like to have a woman's tender touch. I have forgotten how to carry on casual banter just to connect with people. And worst of all, lately I have had this strong feeling that love like the one I had is a once in a decade or once in a lifetime occurrence. It makes sad to no end. I can't focus on anything that I do. I distract myself with meaningless ideas related to my hobbies, mostly indoors, instead of enjoying human interaction. A few nights ago, I watched the movie "5 to 7". It left me in a somber mood, wondering if other women will be 'better' or just 'different'? Her sensuality, her free spirit gave me a new perspective on life. We were happy. Does a bad ending diminish or erase all the great and happy moments we had together? From the movie: "Life is a collection of moments. The idea is to have as many happy ones as you can." ... "Thousands of years ago somebody came up with the notion of impermanence of the beauty and inevitability of change. I'm pretty sure they had just been dumped. I had a long time to consider the value of memory. And the idea that just because something doesn't last forever doesn't mean its worth is diminished. Maybe it was just a rationalization. Easier on the soul than mourning what might have been. A life unlived. I honestly don't know. But I chose to believe in memory. I chose to believe in her. I chose to believe that the bond was never broken and that we carried each other in our hearts. As a secret singularity. There would be other loves, even great loves. But she was right. Only one remained perfect. And as a result, it never quite left me alone. I wondered if it remained perfect for her as well. Or if I was just holding onto an idea."
Logo Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 I have an urge to pick up the phone and call her, but a second voice in my head is telling me, "You're going to beat yourself up afterward for being a doormat".
Jopes Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) Its 4am. I couldn't sleep thinking about all the truths one must learn to live with. I really can not wait to look at the thigs i am looking at and thinking of and don't feel pain. Edited April 8, 2017 by Jopes
Logo Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Stranger Than Fiction, Thanks for the tip about staying in the present. I will try to use it and try to manage my thoughts better. 1
DarrenB Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 I've watched a lot of videos recently regarding relationships; the destruction of them, the demise, the reprisal's, reconciliation and unrequited love. Alot of information within these short videos might seem like propaganda and some may definitely perceive it that way, but to me on a personal level I noticed that a lot of those things and actions were a part of my last relationship. Which to date was 8 months ago. I've realized that all this time, I perhaps had put a lot of the blame on her because well she was in the wrong. But, what I've acknowledged and accepted is that I was likely the main reason why things turned out so bitter, abrupt and left in a final conclusion. I'm certain she fell out of love with me for multiple reasons, I know she found someone else and became promiscuous and she simply just lost interest in me... but I provoked it, I lead her even further away for her to give no alternative. I've come a long way: mentally, emotionally, physically, financially the full Monty. I won't be arrogant and belittling and say I'm much better off now like she'd exclaimed herself, because although I'm in a better place now there is a void and vacancy in my life that only she could fulfill. Without it I am of course a functioning human, but without the function to love and feel it.
Recommended Posts