iouaname Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I have been *fuming* all day. Last night, my friends put together a group chat for my birthday and someone invited my ex into the chat. Fine, not a big deal. I'll survive. However, about midway through the chat - once it had stopped being about my birthday - he decided to randomly start dishing out details of his sex life, showing pictures of the girl he's having sex with and saying things like "she's stupid, but I do it because she's hot" A new group text was started without him, and all of my friends were really supportive, agreeing that it was pathetic and unnecessary, and that he was clearly lying because he has a habit of doing that. It was so cringe, but I was fuming at the disrespect. A few days ago, I told him being friends wouldn't work out (because of that exact type of behavior) and then he goes and pulls that on my birthday? For what reason? I handled it okay, though. I was fuming so I bitched about him in the chat once he was gone, but I had half a mind to send him a message personally bitching him out for doing that. I refrained, and I'm doing fine now - which just shows me how far I've come.
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 He wanted to annoy you and so did one of your friends? Nothing to get worried about. He disrespected himself actually. Have a better day today. (Did you get the present i sent yet? Crystal, very rare) I have been *fuming* all day. Last night, my friends put together a group chat for my birthday and someone invited my ex into the chat. Fine, not a big deal. I'll survive. However, about midway through the chat - once it had stopped being about my birthday - he decided to randomly start dishing out details of his sex life, showing pictures of the girl he's having sex with and saying things like "she's stupid, but I do it because she's hot" A new group text was started without him, and all of my friends were really supportive, agreeing that it was pathetic and unnecessary, and that he was clearly lying because he has a habit of doing that. It was so cringe, but I was fuming at the disrespect. A few days ago, I told him being friends wouldn't work out (because of that exact type of behavior) and then he goes and pulls that on my birthday? For what reason? I handled it okay, though. I was fuming so I bitched about him in the chat once he was gone, but I had half a mind to send him a message personally bitching him out for doing that. I refrained, and I'm doing fine now - which just shows me how far I've come. 1
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Happy birthday Chris. Keep going, your advice here has been massively helpful to me and others. Rough day so far today. We share a birthday and today is that day. Trying to stay busy and keep my mind off her but I still find myself looking at my phone, hoping for some message from her. A "happy birthday", a "how are you doing?"... anything. I know it's not going to come though and I'm just dwelling in the past hoping it will. I knew this day was going to be hard for me and I told myself I would be over all of this by this point and in a better spot. Wrong as usual. Just need to get through this day. Last year the holidays were great with her, and now this year the complete silence from her after 5 months NC feels like the final nail in the coffin
iouaname Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 He wanted to annoy you and so did one of your friends? Nothing to get worried about. He disrespected himself actually. Have a better day today. (Did you get the present i sent yet? Crystal, very rare) aw, you shouldn't have :love: I think the friend was just trying to be thoughtful and get a lot of people into the chat, I don't think he expected my ex to do what he did. In fact he was one of the ones that was grossed out about it. I don't know if my ex was trying to annoy me or if he's just completely clueless, but I'm glad that I didn't let him get a reaction out of me. I know that I would regret it if I had. 1
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Good for you Darling. Lets not give them anything. aw, you shouldn't have :love: I think the friend was just trying to be thoughtful and get a lot of people into the chat, I don't think he expected my ex to do what he did. In fact he was one of the ones that was grossed out about it. I don't know if my ex was trying to annoy me or if he's just completely clueless, but I'm glad that I didn't let him get a reaction out of me. I know that I would regret it if I had.
k10k Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Hating my phone right now... For three weeks it has been agonizing to look at it every single time it bleeps or rings or just stays silent.. a feeling of longing washes over me, no message, no call, no "i'm sorry, i made a mistake, i want this to work". It's just a sad reminder of him not been around anymore... especially at the times of the day when he used to call. 1
H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Hating my phone right now... For three weeks it has been agonizing to look at it every single time it bleeps or rings or just stays silent.. a feeling of longing washes over me, no message, no call, no "i'm sorry, i made a mistake, i want this to work". It's just a sad reminder of him not been around anymore... especially at the times of the day when he used to call. I have gotten the same feeling about my ex gf from time to time. It's a sucky feeling. Stay strong and try to keep busy.
k10k Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I have gotten the same feeling about my ex gf from time to time. It's a sucky feeling. Stay strong and try to keep busy. Thanks H245 - going out soon, and I'm leaving the phone at home so that I don't think about it 1
realfriends Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Good on the outside. Mentally I'm a little hung up. I miss hugging her. I miss holding her hands. I just want to look her in the eyes and tell her I love her. I wrote down all the things that I would ask her if she came back. The list was long and brutal. Yesterday was the 60th day of NC for me. I wonder why she literally hasn't said anything to me. Sometimes Im thankful, sometimes all I want is to know she still thinks of me.
jphcbpa Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I wrote down all the things that I would ask her if she came back. The list was long and brutal. . Would you be willing to share this list? 2
H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks H245 - going out soon, and I'm leaving the phone at home so that I don't think about it I should probably start doing that as well. 1
Xemyd Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I didn't contact you last night like I wanted to. I know I need to keep NC. Instead I decided to fall asleep in the jersey you got me. My team won last night, too bad the jersey wasn't lucky when it comes to you.
SadNLonley Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Yesterday was the 60th day of NC for me. I wonder why she literally hasn't said anything to me. Sometimes Im thankful, sometimes all I want is to know she still thinks of me. Im at 65 days NC. I think the same thing. Why hasn't HE broke down and contacted me? Is he thinking of me? Did he miss me at the Holidays like I did him? Does he cry at night while he's alone? So many questions about him. I wish my brain would just turn all those thoughts off.
SadNLonley Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Yesterday was actually a good day! I was feeling up, I didn't think about him all day like I usually do, I was thinking of what my therapist said the night before to make me feel better. To top that all off, I didn't cry once or even think about it. Why can't that last? Today, Im not crying yet, but I have thought about him alot and pretty much keep asking myself why he didn't love me enough to make this work. It really is hard to accept when you though you met the man of your dreams, and the man of your entire future. Luckily, I dont really have the urge to reach out to him. I am definitely at the point that I know it will have to be him to reach out to me. We all know he won't, but at least I have it set in my head it wont be me. 1
jphcbpa Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 saw an attractive woman while having lunch. went up and introduced myself to her. felt good to feel nervous. felt alive. she said she has a b/f, I just smiled and thanked her. i really did not care, it was about getting out of my comfort zone. 1
xUnknown Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 saw an attractive woman while having lunch. went up and introduced myself to her. felt good to feel nervous. felt alive. she said she has a b/f, I just smiled and thanked her. i really did not care, it was about getting out of my comfort zone. That's all you need to do. Its tough (well for me) after being out of the game for like 2.5 years, but it just takes a bit of confidence. Nice job. 1
AnyaNova Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Saw my ex or his exact doppelganger on my way to class. I wasn't expecting that at all. Just got another dose of b12 not that long ago, so I'm alright with it now. When it wears off, I won't be. In a few minutes, I will probably go ahead and post that last thing I have been saying I will post on the post here thread and then, save that absolute last, just to say that I've found someone, that will be all I will post there. He's probably telling himself it didn't mean anything. That it was nothing. Perhaps I should start telling myself that too. I just wish I could believe it. On the other hand, there are some pretty good OkC prospects (I know, right?). My classes rock (and even though I don't get a full fledged research project *frowny face*, I get a partial one (basically we do everything but actually do the experiment). In very short order I won't have a lot of time to spend here and that will be good. I'm tired of thinking about him. He isn't thinking about me. He isn't missing me. He doesn't want to try again. He's probably found some petite blonde who doesn't really care if he is himself or not. And frankly, at this point, if he did want to try again, he'd have to make me believe that he was very, very serious about the whole thing.
jphcbpa Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 That's all you need to do. Its tough (well for me) after being out of the game for like 2.5 years, but it just takes a bit of confidence. Nice job. thanks 5 weeks out on NC and BU it felt funny, but it was about pushing myself. I have said that i am not going to get on any dating sights and actively look for now (met the ex on match)...I want to give myself time to heal and grieve the BU, learn about me ect.....but if I am out an about and see someone I find attractive, I will approach.
H245 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I was ok until I broke down and responded to my ex's inquiries about me blocking her on FB. I kept it brief but it hurt to realize she showed no concern for how I felt regarding her and the situation.
JDPT Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Not too bad today, feel relaxed and calm, as I wait for my fractured tibias to fully heal so I can get back to the gym and make up for times loss. 1
AnyaNova Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Not too bad today, feel relaxed and calm, as I wait for my fractured tibias to fully heal so I can get back to the gym and make up for times loss. Yes! Thank you! Gym. That is what I need to do. Hopefully, it will help! Apologies!! I know you can't and I am sorry. But thank you. 2
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Mate, take it easy on your legs! Not too bad today, feel relaxed and calm, as I wait for my fractured tibias to fully heal so I can get back to the gym and make up for times loss. 1
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 if we can meet up in NYC then i need you walking!
JDPT Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Absolutely- I'm really taking this time to rest and fully heal. We should be good to go to NYC. It can certainly be frustrating at times but I'm coming to terms with the fact that I need to take it easy and let my legs heal and in due time I'll be back at the gym. 2
realfriends Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Would you be willing to share this list? No problem. I honestly believe I can forgive you but I have doubts that we would be able to work. First, a lot of your actions at the end of the relationship make me scared. Im scared those were your true colors. You were selfish, you chose him over me. I don't know how things can work, ending things by telling me "I don't know if your the best for me". How can you know I am now? Did you try every guy out? How do I know you just won't run out of my life again when things get hard. You won't even try to work on them. How and why should i trust you? How do I know you won't do the same thing. How do I know you learned your lesson? How do I know you are in this for the long run? I feel as though i am just a back up plan. Thats all I will ever be now. You will just be settling for me. You once thought there was better out there, what makes you change your mind? I know that those things sound selfish and that I'm bringing up the old relationship, but I will be selfish. I won't let my heart get stomped on again by the same person. 1
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