How are you coping today?

[Logo]

The end of this year is near.

 

Let the grief, sadness, hardships and other various struggles and predicaments subside and relinquish.

 

You may have lost love this year, but you will regain another in time. You may have faced some personal problems which have affected you this year, but you will subdue and arise from them.

 

Be humble, seek peace and friendship. You have a lot to offer to this world of obscurity and your existence is meaningful, therefore persist in being yourself and become your own successor.

 

Happy New Year

 

 

DarrenB,

 

For a young man -- and I mean that very respectfully -- you have a lot of insight and emotional maturity. I'm sorry you had to go through the heartache that your ex caused you.

 

Let 2017 be a fresh new start.

 

Let it be a year of good health, happiness and prosperity for all those whose exes were carelessness with their hearts.

 

 

It's easier said than done. But I will try to work on it.

 

I'm still drifting from sadness and nostalgia to hope and optimism.

 

Sometimes I find solace in the sadness I feel about the good times we had, about what could have been.

 

I feel that once I let go, I will be suppressing certain feelings that I should be allowing to fade away slowly and gradually.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I'm finding today a little hard. I've been thinking back over the year and I can't help feeling sadness. 2016 was not the greatest. I lost my grandpa earlier in the year and more recently I lost a friend from highschool to suicide. Then going through 2 separate heartbreaks by losing men I had loved in the same year on top of that. There were good times, of course, but they seem to be overshadowed by all the losses I have experienced.

 

A part of me craves to have my ex contact me just to wish me a happy new year, to give me one more hit of validation that he still thinks of me. I need to let that go and make my own validation. Like getting over any addiction, the longer I go without it the less I'll feel I need it. Time, time, time. I WILL get there. I refuse to keep letting someone effect me so negatively. I will make my own happiness because no one else can. I know that I'm strong, even if I haven't felt like it lately, and I will get back to a place of strength, peace, and confidence.

 

I have been getting flashes of what I will eventually be without this constant pain and it gives me hope. It gives me hope that this won't last forever and that I will move forward.

[DarrenB]

DarrenB,

 

For a young man -- and I mean that very respectfully -- you have a lot of insight and emotional maturity. I'm sorry you had to go through the heartache that your ex caused you.

 

Let 2017 be a fresh new start.

 

Let it be a year of good health, happiness and prosperity for all those whose exes were carelessness with their hearts.

 

 

It's easier said than done. But I will try to work on it.

 

I'm still drifting from sadness and nostalgia to hope and optimism.

 

Sometimes I find solace in the sadness I feel about the good times we had, about what could have been.

 

I feel that once I let go, I will be suppressing certain feelings that I should be allowing to fade away slowly and gradually.

 

Thanks, Logo. Appreciate that. It's alright, it's an experience I'm sure all of us will have to encounter atleast once in our lives. I'm just thankful I've been given the opportunity to move past it and to not resort to anything considerably idiotic.

 

Just remember, it's completely normal and fine to drift away from a healthy state of mind. There's nothing wrong with it; reminiscence can benefit you in some cases, hopefully you will reach that full potential where you're fully inclined to move past your own ex. For every pessimistic thought you have, cancel it out with an optimistic one. Works wonders for me personally.

 

Like I say, when the time's right you'll be able to surpass the entire situation and thrive in what you do best in life. Don't ever lose hope, only lose negativity and memories of those who are now considered obsolete and who serve no purpose or benefits in your current life.

 

Take care and have a great evening/night.

[DarrenB]

 

I have been getting flashes of what I will eventually be without this constant pain and it gives me hope. It gives me hope that this won't last forever and that I will move forward.

 

 

My sincerest commiserations and condolences.

 

What I can suggest to you, is perhaps take a reminiscence of the tragedies and sorrow of which you have endured this past year, and attempt to build a foundation in your mind to not let it occur again.

 

The pain, suffering will not last forever, I guarantee you that and with confidence. Again, when you are essentially ready, you will too surpass the difficulty that you face and the hardships that appear. For every negative, there is a positive, and even if there isn't you can create a positive by yourself when need be.

 

Hope you have a good evening/night and enjoy your New Years.

[sorano]

Tonight's status. Not celebrating New Years. Just another day. Feeling good and content. Worried,sad,jealous? Not one bit. I got my food, drink, some dessert and my tv. It's all I need. Feels good

[DarrenB]

Tonight's status. Not celebrating New Years. Just another day. Feeling good and content. Worried,sad,jealous? Not one bit. I got my food, drink, some dessert and my tv. It's all I need. Feels good

 

Enjoy yourself nonetheless Sorano

[sorano]

Thanks darren. Hopefully you had a good new years and may next year bring you better things.

[Deadmeat]

I've deleted my Facebook and my online dating accounts. I vouch not to check her social media unless I am fully over her. At which point, I am hoping I won't even have the need to check.

 

I have a lady I see on occasion who adores me. I will be giving her my time, although I will take things VERY slow. We have already been intimate.

 

However, I do intend on keeping my options open and am going on another date with some one else.

 

2016, it's been a ride.

 

2017, I welcome you with open arms.

[HorseLuck]

Kind of expected him to contact me and wish me a Happy New Year, but I didn't think much about it last night while out partying.

 

Off to a bad start since I got pretty drunk, cut my chin open and ended up in the ER. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty calm. I have one main goal for the New Year and I'm going to focus all my attention on it.

[Logo]

I went out with friends last night and had a great time. I did think about her around midnight, but that was okay. I had my friends with me and it was fun.

 

I'm being very picky this time around.

[MeadowFlower]

I saw him at work today and his obvious liking and gentleness with the girl he liked before being in a relationship with me... ugh ☹

[PLT]

Today, I know that total acceptance is on its way. I know there will be further bumps in the road but each day brings me one step closer, be that day good or bad.

 

I sent her a Happy New Year email, which also told her my New Years resolution (well, one of them), which is to stop banging my head against this particular brick wall and move on. We are coming up to the 5 month mark of break up, and almost 3 months since any contact from her, which wasn't "nice" contact anyway. I did everything I possibly could to save the relationship, both pre and post break up. The only thing I can do now is get on with my life without her, whether I like it or not.

 

The other resolution was to get off of Social media. I've never liked it and always found it cringe worthy, but felt I "should" be on it. I'm so much calmer now it's not there and my account is deactivated. It has the fabulous by product of forcing me to actually go and see the people I care about in the real world

[sorano]

Feelin ok today. Just at ease. which is good. I do notice I am once again becoming happy again being alone. I remember 10 months ago my weekends were horrible. I couldnt stay still when she broke up with me. we had a routine and were part of each others life. I do stay away from certain places that we used to go to. But im doing way better.

 

Desire to date again? None. Desire to be with a woman? absolutely zero. Im happy. That's what counts.

[StrangerThanFiction]

So, he messaged me on New Year's to wish me a happy New Year. Had a quick chat and that was it. At first I had a little flush of happiness that I had actually crossed his mind long enough for him to think to send me a message, but afterwards it just made me feel sad. I'm having a hard time accepting that it's over between us and when he did this is just made it harder. I'm trying to remember the reasons why we broke up in the first place and why we wouldn't have worked out as a couple, but right now they don't seem all that bad or important. I miss him so much today and all I want is for him to tell me the same. I just feel so lonely.

 

There's a guy that I met through another friend and he's shown a lot of interest in me. It's flattering that someone thinks I'm so awesome, but it also makes me sad. I just want my ex to feel that way about me and it makes me feel terrible that I can't return those feelings for this other guy. I might never be able to. He's really sweet, intelligent, and has his life together...but I'm just not feeling it. He's not my ex. I hope that one day I meet someone who will love me and I can love in return. Where we just mesh, and he'll actually want to have a future with me....

[Logo]

I don't think I'll ever feel love as deep as I did. I no longer care for people as deep as I did either.

 

I feel the same, especially when I go on dates. I feel as though my emotions were sucked out of me. So I feel little excitement and little enthusiasm when I meet a new woman. I feel like, "Alright, let's get this dating thing out of the way already so we can settle in our ways and get comfortable with one another like boyfriend and girlfriend.

[jennifernyc84]

Not coping well at all. Just this inadequate feeling. Like I have no purpose.

I've barely eaten, I can't sleep. I'm trying to fill the void with work and other activities but nothing helps.

 

We weren't in contact for a few weeks. We decided to give it another try on the 30th of December. He came over, we had sex, then he broke up with me again 2 days later.

 

I'm feeling so used. Like he figured he'd get one last roll in the sheets with me. I'm mad at myself for letting it happen but I still love him so much that if called right now, I'd probably take him back again

[HorseLuck]

Feel a sudden surge of anger. Didn't realize he could still see images on my social media even though i didn't add him back. He saw an image of an injury i posted, and shortly after texted me a Happy New Year. Late wishes. I don't know whether i should feel good or insulted that he thinks I'm worth crumbs. I didn't reply as usual. Guess it's time to block the texts.

 

On the bright side i found the purse I lost with my i.d and cards still intact, the night from the party. It's a miracle. Lol.

Edited January 4, 2017 by HorseLuck

[Deadmeat]

Just when I thought I would get a fresh start to the New Year.

 

The collections agency gave me a ring today to inform me of an outstanding parking violation I still had to pay. I got the ticket on my 3rd date with th ex and being so deep into our date I totally forgot about it.

 

The whole call set me back. it was such a fun day. We spent the whole day on an adventure at the downtown strip. We even went into an open house pretending to be a couple. I'll never forget her sense of adventure...man what a trip.

 

Just a weak moment today I guess. She'd a few tears and now I'm back up and ready to tackle the day.

 

Thanks for reading.

[VeveCakes]

Im feeling good.

 

Finally did the block on everything.

 

Left the ex in 2016 where he belongs with the rest of the ****.

 

Happily enjoying 2017 already.

[DarrenB]

I've come to the sudden epiphany that a lot of people especially within the city/vicinity I live in, they lack mostly:

 

1) Morals

 

2) Aspirations (Either due to genuine, continuous procrastination or perpetual laziness and a lack of effort to better their life)

 

3) Self-respect

 

4) Common courtesy

 

5) Monogamy

 

I understand that people with the above traits can be found literally anywhere, but I noticed that it's particularly common where I currently live.

 

It's discouraging and demoralizing because a lot of my friends and acquaintances have taken upon this whole mindset, my ex especially. They've essentially ruined various things to experience short-term escapades that in all honesty, aren't even worthy of considering let alone taking action upon them.

 

Lastly, I don't know why people return and are so eager to start conversing with people again that treated them like utter s*** and disrespected and hurt them to such extents.

 

:lmao:

[PLT]

I wish she'd contact me.

 

Or maybe I don't. If she hasn't changed, which I very much doubt she has, then her contacting me will only make things worse. I'm flip flopping a lot at the moment, and have been since the holiday period started. I still think about her every day, but its less obsessive now, so I get periods of respite from it. I've not been very tearful at all, which is nice. It's more like every day starts with a long sigh, followed by sad resignation to it all. She knows how I feel. If she gave a damn she would contact me. She hasn't, so she doesn't.

 

I lost some friends over New Years Eve. I won't go into details but I had known these people for over 20 years and because of some things that happened on NYE, the trust built up over those 20+ years I had in them is broken. So I now have no one to call a best friend. and no real friends. I'm not sure how I got here. I've always had friends, long standing ones. I have great sisters, and great kids, but I feel so alone in the world, and I just don't know where to go from here.

 

I have a sort of steely determination and just get through each day any way I can. Sometimes I look back at the end of the day and feel I have accomplished something. Often though, I don't. My only accomplishment is still being here. I struggle to see any sort of future with any real happiness in it. I'm just going through the motions, day after day.

 

I have momentary spikes of looking forward to various things, but they are short lived.

 

I feel like such a loser. How the hell did my life come to this, and how the hell do I even start picking up the pieces and rebooting my whole life at age 45? I feel like my life is already over. I keep hearing "You're still young!" Well I don't bloody feel it. I feel as though I have lived for 3 lifetimes already.

 

Trying to end with some positivity or I'll go to bed with all these negative thoughts. I have made plans (at least in my head) for things that I am going to do once it starts getting a little warmer. Sort my pushbike out so I can go out on it, buy a couple of tennis raquets so me and sons can go have a knockabout at the park with courts. That will help my activity levels at least, but not with my lonliness. Other positive is I haven't contacted her since I sent an early HNY email last friday. Final positive is I took my younger son to the panto earlier and as always it was good, silly, chaotic fun, and he enjoyed it.

[Minneloa]

I feel better after going home for the holidays and surrounding myself with old familiar faces, places, & things. Mostly, I gained some perspective, being away from the neighborhood I share with my ex. I actually thought today, "I guess the universe gave me all the relationship I can handle right now." So that was a breakthrough, feeling some acceptance and gratitude for what we did have, however limited.

 

Part of me wishes that he would keep reaching out, but more of me knows that we have run our course & that missing someone doesn't change enough.

 

Progress!

[Logo]

Chugging along, feeling like there are no eligible women around me. Everyone is married. A dry spell.

 

I feel like I do on cloudy, foggy, gray, rainy days.

 

I talk to women I'm attracted to and they're either years younger or married or they give me a fake number. Thanks for getting my hopes up. I dodged a bullet on that one I suppose. Fake and immature.

[MeadowFlower]

I'm not sure what to say PLT, but keep going. And don't feel like a loser. Maybe think of it as a new chapter in your life. Keep going

[StrangerThanFiction]

I am so confused right now. I have no idea what's going on. I know what I need to do to move past this bump in the road...but do I have the strength of will to actually do it?