How are you coping today?

[VeveCakes]

I feel like I am regressing in my getting over things....I partially blame my ex because he was always coming back and leaving my life after our break up...but I mean I did let him.

 

Accepting that there is no hope and I have to forget him no matter how much it hurts is hard. I find myself abnormally obsessed with the memories of him right now.

 

I'm moving soon and I hope this will help me have a fresh start in life...and help me forget about the man I loved so much.

 

This forum helps me in so many ways...I'm really thankful for that.

[DarrenB]

Feeling reasonably happy lately.

 

In fact, I have a date with an old friend. We've happened to come across each other and decided to meet up again after 3 years... May I just also add this girl is extraordinary.

 

[VeveCakes]

Well even more stuff to keep the pain train coming. I see my ex is now on POF and his profile picture is a picture I took of him on one of our last nights together

 

It also says he is "looking for a relationship" when the reason he supposedly ghosted me was because he wanted to be alone.

 

Does the pain ever end?

[sorano]

Well even more stuff to keep the pain train coming. I see my ex is now on POF and his profile picture is a picture I took of him on one of our last nights together

 

It also says he is "looking for a relationship" when the reason he supposedly ghosted me was because he wanted to be alone.

 

Does the pain ever end?

 

I know that pain too well. I made a profile few months ago on a dating site. I am not sure why I did. I tend to stay away from those sites. But browsing along, I see my ex on there. she was smiling, holding up a drink, looked to be in a fun environment. It was kind of a hard pill to swallow. But I can't do anything about it. I know its over. I know she wants to be with someone else. I gave it my all. I did the best a man can do. A gentleman, a protector, a lover, and a friend. It just wasn't good enough.

 

I would have given this person the world, but, she would have still rejected it. which in a way, is a blessing for me. The pain is still real, its still there, and I just have to man up and go head to head with it when it comes at me. I hope you have a speedy recovery and that you bounce back.

[VeveCakes]

Thank you. It hasn't been speedy but slow and drawn out but it's my own fault for engaging in his games.

 

Part of me thinks he is on there because we had a falling out a few weeks ago when he was playing mind games and I had enough. He changed all his pictures so it has been within the last week he went back to reactivate his account. He is a bit attention seeking so I was wondering if he wanted me to see it and get bothered. My profile is hidden so he won't be able to see me on there or see that I know.

 

It just sucks he used the picture I took. It was an awesome night together. My heart is in pieces

[sorano]

Thank you. It hasn't been speedy but slow and drawn out but it's my own fault for engaging in his games.

 

Part of me thinks he is on there because we had a falling out a few weeks ago when he was playing mind games and I had enough. He changed all his pictures so it has been within the last week he went back to reactivate his account. He is a bit attention seeking so I was wondering if he wanted me to see it and get bothered. My profile is hidden so he won't be able to see me on there or see that I know.

 

It just sucks he used the picture I took. It was an awesome night together. My heart is in pieces

 

Your very welcome. I totally understand. Blocking and no contact is the best way as you very well know. But when you come across a pic of him or her, like we did on a dating site, it just sucks. All the memories come coming back.

 

Its been almost a year for me. I am doing better. But I guess the holidays are really killing me. Its my first time dealing with a break up, having no gf, for these holidays coming up. She said a lot meaningful things and powerful words to me during the christmas, thanksgiving, etc. so it just opened up that wound again.

[sorano]

If you ever need to vent or talk, I will always listen and try to help. Everyone is in the same boat. why not help.

[VeveCakes]

Thank you... I was doing good but then of course the last few weeks he came back to me and we were talking all day every day. Then we had a falling out...and I basically told him to stop effing with me. So now we are here...I am adamant about staying NC now... but frig this makes it hard.

[sorano]

I know sometimes people think getting back together is the answer, and that you or he will make changes, figure out what went wrong, etc. I would love for that to happen, at times it does, but usually, it just doesn't work. You end up getting hurt even more. You also expect certain answers and actions as if you were back in that relationship but when it doesnt happen, its painful. no contact is best.

[Kayley]

Bit of an up and down day today but at the same time probably the best day I've had since the break up.

 

Woke up this morning feeling sad but I always feel sad in the morning. Getting out of my bed is so difficult but when I get up it gets easier. Posted a little moan in my thread this morning which I think helped me get it off my chest before starting my day. By quarter to 11 I realised I was probably the best I had been in a while. This lasted until about half 3. He crossed my mind a little but I felt indifferent which I haven't felt before.

 

By half 3 I was sad again. Not crying my eyes out sad but sad enough. We had an internet safety talk in work too which didn't help because we met online & that kinda thing came up. It was one of those things that would normally make me laugh & I'd text him about it but instead it made me sad.

 

Called my mum when I was driving home to try to distract me. Then I took a mad notion to listen to some angry break up songs. I've barely listened to any music since the break up. Sometimes I turn the radio in the car off because it's too painful. It actually helped though. I blasted the music, screamed along to the words and cried a little bit too. Kinda fallen in love with Keisha's 'Grow a Pear' and I don't even usually listen to her music. That's my go to song at the moment when I feel myself getting sad. Maybe it'll help my morning blues.

 

Had to go to my mum's to pick some stuff up. Sat with her for a while, feeling okay at this point. My friend was supposed to come over tonight. Was one of my closest friends until this break up. I haven't seen her since he left me. Last time we had plans she just didn't answer my text. She done the same tonight so that started the tears. Played my angry break up songs on the way home and felt a bit better.

 

I've been staying with my mum a lot recently because being home hurts. Me & him spent a lot of time here because he'd had to move back home after working abroad. If I come back here I've been coming back pretty late and just going to bed so coming home earlier was an achievement. I've been keeping busy wrapping presents, tidying etc. but there's been a couple of moments where I've thought I'd normally be texting him now and that's hard. A few times it's crossed my mind what I'd say to him if I texted but I'm not going to text. As much as it hurts me, he doesn't want me. Still difficult to comprehend how it all went wrong so quickly.

 

Not sure I'll ever get over the feeling of it could have been fixed so easily if he had just communicated. I'm trying though, I feel there's been progress today so maybe it'll get easier.

 

Getting fed up with people telling me I need a new man. What's the point? It doesn't take the pain away, just masks it for a little while until that falls apart. I need to heal. I don't want anyone else either. It took me a long time to open up to anyone and my trust has been betrayed all over again. I did let him in too quickly, the first month I was guarded and he was so full on that I let myself get caught up in it and let him in far too much too soon. We moved too quickly but I honestly felt like I'd known him so much longer than I had. I thought that was a good thing but maybe it was part of the problem. Anyway, the point is. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to go back to the beginning with someone else. Not right now....I don't even like the beginning stage. When you don't really know each other...doing everything for the first time etc.

 

Ugh....long post but rambling away helps. I'm conscious now of not talking too much to people about him. They've listened to me for a month, there's only so long they can do that for. I'm so glad for this place right now.

[DarrenB]

Bit of an up and down day today but at the same time probably the best day I've had since the break up.

 

Woke up this morning feeling sad but I always feel sad in the morning. Getting out of my bed is so difficult but when I get up it gets easier. Posted a little moan in my thread this morning which I think helped me get it off my chest before starting my day. By quarter to 11 I realised I was probably the best I had been in a while. This lasted until about half 3. He crossed my mind a little but I felt indifferent which I haven't felt before.

 

By half 3 I was sad again. Not crying my eyes out sad but sad enough. We had an internet safety talk in work too which didn't help because we met online & that kinda thing came up. It was one of those things that would normally make me laugh & I'd text him about it but instead it made me sad.

 

Called my mum when I was driving home to try to distract me. Then I took a mad notion to listen to some angry break up songs. I've barely listened to any music since the break up. Sometimes I turn the radio in the car off because it's too painful. It actually helped though. I blasted the music, screamed along to the words and cried a little bit too. Kinda fallen in love with Keisha's 'Grow a Pear' and I don't even usually listen to her music. That's my go to song at the moment when I feel myself getting sad. Maybe it'll help my morning blues.

 

Had to go to my mum's to pick some stuff up. Sat with her for a while, feeling okay at this point. My friend was supposed to come over tonight. Was one of my closest friends until this break up. I haven't seen her since he left me. Last time we had plans she just didn't answer my text. She done the same tonight so that started the tears. Played my angry break up songs on the way home and felt a bit better.

 

I've been staying with my mum a lot recently because being home hurts. Me & him spent a lot of time here because he'd had to move back home after working abroad. If I come back here I've been coming back pretty late and just going to bed so coming home earlier was an achievement. I've been keeping busy wrapping presents, tidying etc. but there's been a couple of moments where I've thought I'd normally be texting him now and that's hard. A few times it's crossed my mind what I'd say to him if I texted but I'm not going to text. As much as it hurts me, he doesn't want me. Still difficult to comprehend how it all went wrong so quickly.

 

Not sure I'll ever get over the feeling of it could have been fixed so easily if he had just communicated. I'm trying though, I feel there's been progress today so maybe it'll get easier.

 

Getting fed up with people telling me I need a new man. What's the point? It doesn't take the pain away, just masks it for a little while until that falls apart. I need to heal. I don't want anyone else either. It took me a long time to open up to anyone and my trust has been betrayed all over again. I did let him in too quickly, the first month I was guarded and he was so full on that I let myself get caught up in it and let him in far too much too soon. We moved too quickly but I honestly felt like I'd known him so much longer than I had. I thought that was a good thing but maybe it was part of the problem. Anyway, the point is. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to go back to the beginning with someone else. Not right now....I don't even like the beginning stage. When you don't really know each other...doing everything for the first time etc.

 

Ugh....long post but rambling away helps. I'm conscious now of not talking too much to people about him. They've listened to me for a month, there's only so long they can do that for. I'm so glad for this place right now.

 

Think of this lovely forum as your own personal sanctuary.

 

Treat yourself; pamper yourself. Watch a nice movie, buy a dog and enjoy a nice glass of wine or cup of coffee on these winter nights. Progression and moving forward will commence when you are completely ready.

[sorano]

Bit of an up and down day today but at the same time probably the best day I've had since the break up.

 

Woke up this morning feeling sad but I always feel sad in the morning. Getting out of my bed is so difficult but when I get up it gets easier. Posted a little moan in my thread this morning which I think helped me get it off my chest before starting my day. By quarter to 11 I realised I was probably the best I had been in a while. This lasted until about half 3. He crossed my mind a little but I felt indifferent which I haven't felt before.

 

By half 3 I was sad again. Not crying my eyes out sad but sad enough. We had an internet safety talk in work too which didn't help because we met online & that kinda thing came up. It was one of those things that would normally make me laugh & I'd text him about it but instead it made me sad.

 

Called my mum when I was driving home to try to distract me. Then I took a mad notion to listen to some angry break up songs. I've barely listened to any music since the break up. Sometimes I turn the radio in the car off because it's too painful. It actually helped though. I blasted the music, screamed along to the words and cried a little bit too. Kinda fallen in love with Keisha's 'Grow a Pear' and I don't even usually listen to her music. That's my go to song at the moment when I feel myself getting sad. Maybe it'll help my morning blues.

 

Had to go to my mum's to pick some stuff up. Sat with her for a while, feeling okay at this point. My friend was supposed to come over tonight. Was one of my closest friends until this break up. I haven't seen her since he left me. Last time we had plans she just didn't answer my text. She done the same tonight so that started the tears. Played my angry break up songs on the way home and felt a bit better.

 

I've been staying with my mum a lot recently because being home hurts. Me & him spent a lot of time here because he'd had to move back home after working abroad. If I come back here I've been coming back pretty late and just going to bed so coming home earlier was an achievement. I've been keeping busy wrapping presents, tidying etc. but there's been a couple of moments where I've thought I'd normally be texting him now and that's hard. A few times it's crossed my mind what I'd say to him if I texted but I'm not going to text. As much as it hurts me, he doesn't want me. Still difficult to comprehend how it all went wrong so quickly.

 

Not sure I'll ever get over the feeling of it could have been fixed so easily if he had just communicated. I'm trying though, I feel there's been progress today so maybe it'll get easier.

 

Getting fed up with people telling me I need a new man. What's the point? It doesn't take the pain away, just masks it for a little while until that falls apart. I need to heal. I don't want anyone else either. It took me a long time to open up to anyone and my trust has been betrayed all over again. I did let him in too quickly, the first month I was guarded and he was so full on that I let myself get caught up in it and let him in far too much too soon. We moved too quickly but I honestly felt like I'd known him so much longer than I had. I thought that was a good thing but maybe it was part of the problem. Anyway, the point is. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to go back to the beginning with someone else. Not right now....I don't even like the beginning stage. When you don't really know each other...doing everything for the first time etc.

 

Ugh....long post but rambling away helps. I'm conscious now of not talking too much to people about him. They've listened to me for a month, there's only so long they can do that for. I'm so glad for this place right now.

 

People also told me to go find another woman asap. No. You find someone when you are ready. even if it takes years. slow and steady

[sorano]

To all the single people that had there hearts broken, I hope you have a happy and peaceful thanksgiving. I won't be celebrating it this year but I still wish those who are, have a good one

[Deadmeat]

I'm nearing the end of my grief. I can feel it. There are moments now when it doesn't bother me anymore. I went on a date last weekend and I felt an amazing connection with her. We have another date coming up. And yet...and yet...this makes me extremely sad. I feel like this pain was the last bits that I had of her. It makes me sad that soon it will be nothing but a memory, void of this emotion.

 

I am feeling this unrelenting dichotomy of wanting to fight for her love and giving her up forever. It's the ultimate battle we all face between heart and mind. It's in these final stages I find that I'm at the lowest. Like when you know you have to say goodbye to an a close friend. It's like I dread being happy.

 

I am so close. So close to saying goodbye. God I love you Beth...

[VeveCakes]

Think of this lovely forum as your own personal sanctuary.

 

Treat yourself; pamper yourself. Watch a nice movie, buy a dog and enjoy a nice glass of wine or cup of coffee on these winter nights. Progression and moving forward will commence when you are completely ready.

 

I totally bought a puppy after my break up She brings me endless happiness every day.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

Guys. This is the truth and I swear to god this is the truth. Your pain is there for a reason. Your existence on this planet has NOTHING to do with a person. It feels like it sometimes. Sometimes we ask ourselves if this is the death of me. I spent my entire life derailed. Then this person came and he caused more damaged then when I was derailed. I hate the guy. He still writes telling me he's a good friend and I can't stand the man. Anyone who thinks they have impact on you is delirious. Trust me, dating is the last resort and love is last on the list. I am embarking on a spiritual journey because I found my own secret and I read through books that it takes spiritual teachers to guide you to a place to understand it more. See you in three years, I assure you I will find better. I'll put my life on it. You think high enough of yourself J!

[Kayley]

Think of this lovely forum as your own personal sanctuary.

 

Treat yourself; pamper yourself. Watch a nice movie, buy a dog and enjoy a nice glass of wine or cup of coffee on these winter nights. Progression and moving forward will commence when you are completely ready.

 

I desperately want a dog but I work too much & have like a 45-1 hour commute so it wouldn't be fair

[Kayley]

I seriously want a day where I don't think about him. I'm sick of him being in my head.

 

I mean, he's not in my head every minute of the day anymore but he's there enough. I do all the...put it out your head, think about this everytime he comes up but he's still there...ugh!

[Logo]

I'm nearing the end of my grief. I can feel it. There are moments now when it doesn't bother me anymore. I went on a date last weekend and I felt an amazing connection with her. We have another date coming up. And yet...and yet...this makes me extremely sad. I feel like this pain was the last bits that I had of her. It makes me sad that soon it will be nothing but a memory, void of this emotion.

 

I am feeling this unrelenting dichotomy of wanting to fight for her love and giving her up forever. It's the ultimate battle we all face between heart and mind. It's in these final stages I find that I'm at the lowest. Like when you know you have to say goodbye to an a close friend. It's like I dread being happy.

 

I am so close. So close to saying goodbye. God I love you Beth...

 

 

 

I know exactly how you feel. I know that feeling. It's a very uneasy feeling. I felt it a couple of weeks go and it made me feel so sad. I felt like I wanted to hold onto and to hang onto something to keep the good memories alive, but I knew and now I know that I must move on. If I start to reminisce, it'll probably come back.

 

And yet, after meeting a few women and not finding a connection, I find myself missing her dearly. Last night I wished I could crawl into bed with her and just hold her and smell her scent. I still wish I could. I thought of contacting her, breaking NC, and clearing the air, maybe professing responsibility for some of the mistakes I've made. But I see no point in doing that after she lied and cheated. Who's to say that I won't come out feeling worse and regressing? It's been more than 2 months since the breakup.

[sorano]

Just want to let out what I am thinking and feeling. At this exact time last year, we were finishing up dessert at my ex gf's parents house. we were just sitting down talking at the table. I met the rest of her family that night. I try not to think about what she and her family are doing now. I feel cheated. But whatever. It is what it is and I can't change the past. I cant go back.

[NIGHT1985]

This time last year I cooked some thanksgiving dishes for the first time, for my ex and our mutual friends. It was one of the best days of

My life. So much love and laughter. Now I can't talk to any of them, but I imagine they're doing all that with her and her new man.. it's a tough night for me

[Pete2304]

This time last year I cooked some thanksgiving dishes for the first time, for my ex and our mutual friends. It was one of the best days of

My life. So much love and laughter. Now I can't talk to any of them, but I imagine they're doing all that with her and her new man.. it's a tough night for me

 

I feel for you I truly do. On xmas eve it's will be the little man who I adore with all my heart 7th birthday then of course xmas day the day after. Because he came about as a result of my wife having a one night stand she's now decided it's best if I walk away all together but I am dreading those two days.

 

Thing is though, you get through it. You did right? I know it aches like hell but this was the first big hurdle and now it's the day after. It doesn't get any easier anytime quickly but you do learn to grit your teeth and somehow cope with days like that.

[Kayley]

This morning was the roughest morning in the last few days. I thought I was in for a bad day but it got better.

 

Still sad. I just want a day where I don't think about him or wonder. But I'm okay.

 

I feel like I was losing my independence with him. I got so used to talking to him every single day that it started to affect my mood. More so just in the last couple of weeks of the relationship. I don't know when that change happened but I regret it because I feel like that's part of what pushed him away and part of what makes it hurt so bad now. I hate that I lost that, I was always such a strong & independent person. That's who he fell for. ThAts who I am and I hate that I let her disappear. I suppose that's what happens when you hide from relationships for years. When you finally find one you don't know how to react....

 

I really wish I hadn't shut myself off for so long. I feel like if I hadn't I'd have made these mistakes when I was younger & wouldn't be hurting to badly now because whether we worked out or not I'd have made better decisions. These things haunt me more than losing him.

[winny]

This time last year I cooked some thanksgiving dishes for the first time, for my ex and our mutual friends. It was one of the best days of

My life. So much love and laughter. Now I can't talk to any of them, but I imagine they're doing all that with her and her new man.. it's a tough night for me

 

It will be okay dear friend... have faith.... I pray for you.

[sorano]

Another tough day. Looks like I am taking a few steps back but, I have to stay strong and cope. Its finally sinking in that, the person who stole my heart, who I loved, is gone. Forever. There were so many things I still wanted to do with her. so much stuff. Now, I can't. Maybe one day this pain will lift. This feeling of tension and unease. I devoted so much time, energy, and love for this person. I gave it my all. Yes, we must move on. Forget the past, and live for tomorrow and the future. But when these feelings just creep back and hit you, you can't do anything about it. You just have to confront them head on and deal with it. cry if you must. write in your journal. Talk out loud. Break stuff. Anything to help you get through this other obstacle.