How are you coping today?

[RyanO1991]

Felt great over the last few weeks, but found out my ex has been telling my ex-colleagues that it was me who cheated on her.

 

Not sure what annoys me more - the fact that she lied to save face or the fact that most people believe her.

[Kelley]

I have been doing really great, sure I still think of him now and again but I'm not broken anymore. I was watching a show earlier, I don't normally watch it but they had just had the lie detector results and the woman said to her fiance you didn't love me enough. I would never cheat or even think about it because I love you enough. You cheated you didn't love me enough, I always loved you enough. I started to well up because I really felt for her. I loved my ex and it never crossed my mind to cheat either, yet he did on me! It's hard when they don't love you like you love them. I will find someone that loves me enough

Edited November 17, 2016 by Kelley

[Cheryl11111111111111]

Cheating doesn't always mean love. Sex and love are very different but can be mistaken by the fact that having sex with someone you love is different. Each person's view will differ. You never stop being attracted to other people just because you found one person. Attraction is a powerful thing.

 

I realized what I felt was powerless. I was powerless in my role as a parent, employee, person on this planet we can sum up. I felt powerless but today I feel powerful. In all aspects. I even have the salt to remove the leech. It's been hanging off my leg for sometime. Like a reminder of a man long gone. Time to get rid the leach. I am happy about the choices I made even though other's will not like them.

[Kelley]

That's the whole point of a relationship though, you don't cross that line. I agree we find other people attractive in many ways it doesn't mean you act on it. Be single if thats what you want. It's about love and commitment at the end of the day. I do believe it's down to not loving the person enough as they would never risk losing the person they love by cheating.

[NIGHT1985]

Was scrolling through some old pics of my phone and I ran upon some old convos me and her had, and I'm shattered... I'm never gonna get over her.. I'm never gonna find anyone that'll make me feel like she did. How will I ever forgive myself for pushing her away...

[Protec]

Was scrolling through some old pics of my phone and I ran upon some old convos me and her had, and I'm shattered... I'm never gonna get over her.. I'm never gonna find anyone that'll make me feel like she did. How will I ever forgive myself for pushing her away...

 

Hang in there pal. It's tough but don¨t blame yourself so much. Relationships always take 2 people to work. ALWAYS. It took me a while to learn it myself. I kept blaming myself too. And yeah, i still blame myself a bit. There are things i should have not said and not done. But it always takes 2.

 

I know some people hate me for what i am saying now...but, relationship is like a balance board. Other side is out of balance and the other side is too. Other side is lower, other higher right? So whatever the other person does in the relationship, affects the other too.

[starswewillnavigate]

Thought I was doing well but why does he message asking me questions, I reply like an idiot which he reads and doesn't respond.

[sickoflove11]

I can't get myself to block him on things now that it's been so long.. but when I see him with this new girl it really makes me feel badly about myself. I feel as if I'll really be alone forever. And at times I'm really at peace with that, but if someone like him can find someone, there must be something wrong with me. I just feel really low right now and I hope to get past this soon.

[Kelley]

I wanted to share this that I found when I was hurting a lot and it was like it was written to me, I have read it lots!

 

Dear Love,
 I know this is painful, and unexpected, and shocking to you. My advice would be to just stop and be present and breathe in the moment. Be where you are. Everything passes, everything changes. And this too shall pass. As painful as it is now, it will lessen, it will change. And you will move on. You will move forwards.

You say "I just can't stop crying." Yes, my dear one, my sweet little sister, you are grieving. It hurts, I know. Your grief is a testament to your love.

But take your love and focus it on yourself right now. YOU. Don't keep the focus on him. For whatever reason, his choice was to separate from you. It doesn't matter why. Don't waste time trying to figure it out. It is over. Cut your ties completely with him.

You have a choice now too. A choice to believe in yourself in spite of the pain of this break-up. A choice to love yourself, believe in yourself, focus on yourself. Accept yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself unconditionally. Wish yourself love and peace. Everything you have wished for him, wish for yourself.

You utterly and completely deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve a man who wants you as much as you want him. And you will find him - I know it. Trust that he is waiting for you.

All my love to you.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

We all cry. We all cry but what we are crying doesn't always mean the same thing. You are all annoying to me because you are blinded and not seeing this as anything but what it is. Lies! This morning, I woke up and my house was a bit messy. I wanted to clean it but I hadn't done anything all weekend but write. I was mad. How dare you hack me and who are you and what right do you have. Yea, you have a nother thing comming. Talk about my spirituality, intellegence and life. You hacked my life not a relationship. You can have the relationship. You did so much to me and then I stopped and said .. Let it go!

 

Your mad because he put our friendship into other's hands and you didn't fight for it because deep down you knew something was wrong but why ask. They would lie. SO you did what you could to save yourself pain and they continued to bring you pain. So in the end, you can't be karma. Karma is what is happening to me today. I have a major check coming in. Thank god for the governments view on illness. Let me tell you. Being mentally ill sucks but being normal and having responsibilities with the illness is more hard. However, normal days are ahead and so is love and happiness. Yea, he's making her happy and she's making him happy. If anything, good. Atleast someone get's some love around here. If I could, i'd open my doors to love. it's a beautiful thing. That it is! My love will be big but it wont be today so what is today. I clean my house and work and tan and take care. I go to school and finish. I get my boobs done and dam by next year I am a ten! I am going to plaly with boobs because that's how much I'll love them. It occured to me that is what I want. To be better. to be above average. To be successful you don't need to be perfect but you need to be above average and she is above average as are many other women. SO you hold on. You hold on and wait each day and each day and the world eventually comes back around to you. Sit out a bit. Wait but know your day's ahead and that is when you post. Be a survivor and know some people are loosers and those are the men who hacked me. I feel sorry for you. To bad you didn't pick someone with a higher skill level then you .. In life! i didnt' accomplish> I survived. That happens but your to stupid to realize anything> Is there jealousy and envy. Unfortunatly, yea, I've been the only one in the dark. But he made his bed and he's happy so what can I do? Don't worry. Your life is free of me gomie.

[Protec]

Was scrolling through some old pics of my phone and I ran upon some old convos me and her had, and I'm shattered... I'm never gonna get over her.. I'm never gonna find anyone that'll make me feel like she did. How will I ever forgive myself for pushing her away...

 

Why do you torture yourself? Don't look at old conversations and pictures. You don't have to delete them, but move them somewhere that you don't accidentally see them etc. I know, it hurts to see old pictures...where you are happy. It sucks.

 

My father saw my ex few days ago. But my ex didnt even say hi to him. No wonder. But at least she is alive. I am struggling too, i want to write her so bad. I feel also i can never find anyone like her. Cheating, lying, mentally ill person who didn't take her medicines. I'm still struggling between her good sides and bad sides. She is gone, long gone. She may be even married already.

 

It's just that about year ago i got to know her. It's gonna be a lonely xmas.

[Kelley]

He is keeping in contact for as long as it benefits him. Imagine the shock if you didn't reply, you should give it a go. It's just a text, has he really shown any genuine effort? Texting is lazy!

 

 

Thought I was doing well but why does he message asking me questions, I reply like an idiot which he reads and doesn't respond.

[DarrenB]

I feel more immersed into what the finer things in life are.

 

Your life, your years of living shouldn't revolve around the constant animosity towards things of your past. Nor should you let anything jeopardize your past and present.

 

We long to feel, we long to love and we certainly grieve over our losses. I think acceptance is a key factor in moving forward; particularly when you are overcoming the loss or abandonment of a loved one. Coming to terms with what is commonly known as the bitter inevitable, is ironically what will help you in your process to recovering.

 

It is now over 3 months since my breakup of the girl who was my first genuine love, but of whom I met perhaps too soon. Though, I cannot allow myself to deteriorate due to jealousy or self-destruction. I am missing her, there are days where I am beyond distraught, there are some where I'm completely capable of handling my emotions and feelings. The future and present will prosper, and when the time is right I will be in another significant position to meet another.

 

Even in the darkest hours, the most demoralizing times, there is always going to be a reason to find clarity and balance within yourself and to withstand the obstacles life has to offer and throw at you. It's up to you to guide yourself into a new mindset.

[Logo]

Felt great over the last few weeks, but found out my ex has been telling my ex-colleagues that it was me who cheated on her.

 

Not sure what annoys me more - the fact that she lied to save face or the fact that most people believe her.

 

 

That's awful. I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

[picnicinthepark]

I still wake up in the middle of the night from vivid dreams of her. My heart physically hurts from the grief. I haven't heard from her in over a month. I know that things will get better but right now it feels like my world has been turned upside down. I need to focus on myself and love myself -- this is the only way to move on.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

I don't want to ignore and go nc for the simple reason, they may mistake that for me caring.

[Cheryl11111111111111]

That's awful. I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

 

I don't think it's that they believe him, I think when something's going on, the speculate or know but chose to ignore it. They respect your ex's place over yours and that could be it to. I wouldn't take that personally at all. No one has to like you, remember this. No one has to agree with you. They do have to be careful of what they say to you and how they say it. if your not listening and they want to keep telling you, it is their problem.

[Kelley]

Today was the first time I have actually shown some interest in a guy since my break-up! I had a 'moment' with a guy visiting from a different district today. He had a great smile, funny and unfortunately I found out later not single! But it's nice to know I'm now looking at guys I have come a long way! I remember feeling sick when I thought of being with another guy, now it seems quite exciting to get out there and date. I'm not actively looking though, so I will see what happens

[VeveCakes]

Another day consumed with fighting off thoughts of him.

 

Torturing myself looking at his pics I have saved on my phone.

 

Wondering if I will ever feel that way again. I remember I thought I was one of the lucky ones, who had the worst relationship ever and had good Karma come my way and bring me the best one right after.

 

What a joke. Just had more bad Karma with my heart getting ripped to shreds.

 

When will the pain end.

[Kelley]

It will end and you will feel like that again, it will be different, but you will feel love and happiness again. Just take one day at a time, build up your own life and happiness. Your mind will calm down. I removed all the photos from my phone and put them on a memory stick, that is in a box with all the cards he gave me etc. Back then I couldn't part with them so boxed them and they are now in the loft. Maybe think about doing that too.

 

Another day consumed with fighting off thoughts of him.

 

Torturing myself looking at his pics I have saved on my phone.

 

Wondering if I will ever feel that way again. I remember I thought I was one of the lucky ones, who had the worst relationship ever and had good Karma come my way and bring me the best one right after.

 

What a joke. Just had more bad Karma with my heart getting ripped to shreds.

 

When will the pain end.

[VeveCakes]

It will end and you will feel like that again, it will be different, but you will feel love and happiness again. Just take one day at a time, build up your own life and happiness. Your mind will calm down. I removed all the photos from my phone and put them on a memory stick, that is in a box with all the cards he gave me etc. Back then I couldn't part with them so boxed them and they are now in the loft. Maybe think about doing that too.

 

I had deleted all the pics and emailed them to him when we broke up...but recently he was back in contact with me snap chatting me all day every day and I saved a few of those....I don't know if I can bear to delete them. I just get lost in his eyes

[Kayley]

I've had a crap day but right now I'm okay. Not good but okay & I'll take that.

[PLT]

Terrible. 3 months post BU from a 4 year toxic relationship and I'm still crying my pathetic little eyes out. I always considered myself a strong person but I'm falling apart at the seams and nothing I do seems to make it any better. Although I don't think I'm suicidal I often wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. Anything to stop this constant, incessant pain. I keep telling myself it will get better but it never does. I keep telling myself that she isnt worth all this pain but that doesn't make it go away. I keep telling myself I'm better off without her in my life but it all just feels so empty and meaningless now.

[sorano]

Never thought it would happen again, especially since its almost going to be a year since she broke up with me but, the holidays are coming and it hurts.

 

Time went by so fast. It almost feels like yesterday when she ended it with me. Thanksgiving wont be that bad. But I think christmas and new years, will hurt so much. It will be my down fall.

 

I honestly have no desire to celebrate any holidays this year. Just not in the mood. I guess life goes on and this is just another mountain I have to climb and conquer.

[Logo]

I'm starting to reflect more and more on the moments the relationship took a turn for the worse. In the last few days, that was all I could think about. Today, though, I thought about how she treated me in the last few weeks of the relationship.

 

I often wonder how much I contributed to the demise of the relationship. Was it 5%, 20%? I don't know. I do know that I tried my best and approached it with nothing but good intentions and an open heart. And I loved her until the very end, even after I found out that she cheated on me.

 

I'm going to learn my lessons from this relationship and put the self-blame aside.