jphcbpa Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Took myself on a date tonight. Sat outside alone and had a nice meal. I love me. Afterwards I met some guys for fellowship. Good times 1
H245 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Took myself on a date tonight. Sat outside alone and had a nice meal. I love me. Afterwards I met some guys for fellowship. Good times Where did you go? I was thinking of doing the same thing to myself... 1
jphcbpa Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Where did you go? I was thinking of doing the same thing to myself... A Mexican restaurant I have been wanting to try. I have a list of 15 or so that I want to get around to. Mostly they were places my ex and I talked about going to but never got around to it. Not going to stop me. My plan is to try a new restaurant every week alone or I might invite a friend. I will continue to add new places to my list. I love food and enjoy a good meal. I like to often ask the server to surprise me with their favorite dish. 1
H245 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 A Mexican restaurant I have been wanting to try. I have a list of 15 or so that I want to get around to. Mostly they were places my ex and I talked about going to but never got around to it. Not going to stop me. My plan is to try a new restaurant every week alone or I might invite a friend. I will continue to add new places to my list. I love food and enjoy a good meal. I like to often ask the server to surprise me with their favorite dish. That's awesome. I need to start doing this. I need to learn that it's ok to do things alone like having dinner out or going to the movies... 1
ayudorama Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I hope she and God can forgive me for wishing I was similarly blessed with (obviously a different one) such a good man. Maybe that is what I am trying to come to terms with too. What happened between my ex and I was so strange and so painful and such a knife to the heart I don't think that I will ever reach complete acceptance. Likewise AnyaNova, likewise. I feel like a bad person for wanting the same thing. To love and be loved in return by a man who will stay, this time please let him stay. And there are some images of him in his pain and sadness that I will never stop seeing behind my eyes, even if as I find someone else, I only think of them rarely. But perhaps there will always be a tiny splinter that starts with a capital T. You're really speaking my heart today, stranger from halfway across the world. Edit: And oh happy birthday iouaname Do have a good one! 1
realfriends Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) Having another bad day. Im just going to write down everything in no order so sorry. Typically, I run 4 miles around the school, since I live so close to campus and it makes a nice loop. I happen to notice that her new sorority that she joined when I was with her got a house on campus. Everytime I pass it, it makes me just put her up on the pedestal with all the great things she's doing and all the friends she has and it really gets me down (motivates me sometimes to run harder at the end). I probably should change routes. I also always, when I see the type of car she has, always try to figure out if its her car or not (she has unique features on it). I typically don't have anyone that texts me during the day and I compare myself to her who was always texting away. I feel like its hard for me to find new girls since I don't drink and don't club at the age of 21. I then again compare myself to her with all the stuff she does and all the people that she surrounds herself with. I think that theres no point in even trying to get a girl with only about 7 months left until I leave to a new school where I can start fresh. I give myself false hope but subconsciously hoping that around the 6 month mark, shell cave. Once I reach there, maybe ill tell myself 1 year mark. Im holding on to false hope. I then try to remind myself of her true colors that she showed me at the very end of it all. Her selfish way and how power hungry she was. I tell myself I don't know if things would ever work with her. I think she thinks I'm just a back up plan now and will only be second best. I picture her happy getting around with other guys and know that if she does what she wants to do, and even if she doesn't, we could never work. The situation is a loose loose. If she gets around with guys, ill just be a back up plan. If she doesn't, ill just tell myself that shell want to again. I keep myself busy but feel like I need to be talking to more girls. I think that would help boost me. I talk to one, but decided I'm not interested and just want to be friends. I need to kick her off her pedestal and stop giving myself false hope. I know we al go through this and I'm scared that although I realistically tell myself how freaking well I am doing, that I'm on the high point of the sin wave that is probably about to oscillate at the 6 month mark where all my false hope comes crashing down and the realistic point of view comes. She no longer has feelings for me. She no longer loves me. She is nothing but a memory of something that could of been. Just a learning curve and all I was was a stepping stone, to take her where she needed to go. Once again sorry for the incoherent statements. I just need a pick up and know the LS community is always there for me. Edited January 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Xemyd Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Obviously not over my ex, but I've been talking to this new guy for a week, I guess. He flirts with me but I just ignore it. It makes me feel dirty, any thought of doing anything with this new guy kind of repulses me. He seems really nice but I just can't see anything happening. Also found out that the new guy knows my ex so, there's that. :/
jphcbpa Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 saw a woman last night that I was attracted too in a group setting. she said her name, and it is the same of yours. I laughed to myself and in my head said, "no wonder you are attracted to her". Does feel good to have a woman turn my head.
Haydn Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Happy Birthday, take care. Haydn. X it's my birthday! no plans for today. I went out over the weekend and will see friends and stuff when I return to school next week. I'm not expecting a message from the ex, at all, as I don't even think he remembers my birthday and I made it clear I didn't think being friends was working out. I am a bit sad that I'm lonely. It would be nice to finally have someone back in my life who I can talk to and who could have been with me on this today. Just gotta keep pushing through the day, I'm young... there will be other better birthdays and hopefully better boys. 1
AnyaNova Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Trying to balance taking care of myself with my responsibilities this semester. Seeing what physical or emotional stress does to my B vitamin levels, I am really nervous. I am going to make appointments to speak with each of my professors, explain this, and look at the combined schedule of assignments and projects to see where the pitfalls and likely high stress events likely to precipitate a crash are. I am waiting for the shots I got later this afternoon to really kick in. And then I have a few small assignments to go ahead and begin. I am again, at that confused point that always happens as I am lifting out of a crash. It is kind of like a spinning compass that can't quite align for awhile. In one second I'll be missing the ex. In another I'll be looking forward to the future. In another I'll be thinking about the date I have this weekend. In the next I'll be thinking about that crush that I shouldn't have (and probably wouldn't if for one really pesky psychological principle!) and then it will all switch around again. I always lift out of it eventually, and usually not too many hours after getting the shots. So, I am very much hoping that by tonight I'll be done missing the ex again for quite awhile. Its time to move on because he already has and I feel like an idiot sitting here. He is not sparing any thoughts for me. It is time I returned the favor. Apologies for the long post and for going on about the B's. It is just such a huge factor that determines so much about how I feel physically and emotionally, and how well I can think, and how much I am able to do right now.
H245 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Today was so-so. Work kept me busy, but I started feeling down on the way home in this snowstorm. I mailed out my ex's mail to her today as well, except when I came home there was more mail for her. Mainly tax stuff. I contemplated texting her to let her know about it...but instead, I'll just mail it without saying anything. I would have probably used it as an excuse to break NC anyways. I call that a win in my book today. Still sucks I believe she is still going to trivia tonight from meetup.com...I really hate that I have to avoid something I did for years prior to her.
JDPT Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Doing fairly well today, still have two broke tibias and doctor still suggest to "not bear weight out it..." I have a follow up appointment in another month. I plan on diligently staying off my legs for ONE month and hope to heal soon. I just need to make this best of it and accept the fact that I will not recover overnight which has been making me anxious for the past month. I graduate College this May so I HAVE to be fully healed. :0 2
iouaname Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I'm actually doing really well today a lot of people have sent me well-wishes about my birthday, and shockingly, my ex texted me to wish me happy birthday. As I said, I was not expecting it as I told him a few days ago that I didn't wish to be friends AND I didn't think he even knew when my birthday was. I felt that not responding would make me seem as though I cared and I'm subscribing to the "fake it til you make it" philosophy, so I just responded "thank you" and that was it. Feeling a little more optimistic today than I have been recently. 1
Author Riou Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 I'm actually doing really well today a lot of people have sent me well-wishes about my birthday, and shockingly, my ex texted me to wish me happy birthday. As I said, I was not expecting it as I told him a few days ago that I didn't wish to be friends AND I didn't think he even knew when my birthday was. I felt that not responding would make me seem as though I cared and I'm subscribing to the "fake it til you make it" philosophy, so I just responded "thank you" and that was it. Feeling a little more optimistic today than I have been recently. Not sure if it's still your birthday now,it is 6am here.Happy birthday!You are doing great. 1
AnyaNova Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Got some great pre-brainstorming done on my application upcoming project for my first class today. I still need to learn more about the condition before I settle on any of them. But I am not lost at sea, and I think most, if not all could be adapted to fit the particular needs of this group. Have some more source material to look up for both classes, but suspect I would have better luck in the library tomorrow where I'd have access to not only articles, but books and other resources as well. Am going to be alright. Because I'm climbing out of that last crash, I still wish that he were here to see the success that I am going to be. Even if I have only four or five good days a week, that is still plenty to do what I need to do. But on the other hand, I'm not particularly sad that he's not. It is an odd combination. 1
Mr me to Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I'm feeling pretty ****ty to be honest. Not sure where to turn...
Allumere Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Today is just blech. Sometimes you just miss the person, other times you feel lonely in general. Today is both. I think it's the snow. I actually love snow but in the past 25 years when there has been a storm I have been alone (even when married the ex was always on travel). I always wanted to have someone to be lazy with on a snow day. Watch movies, cook a really fattening meal together, drink some adult beverages, snuggle under blankets...you get the picture. Just me and a pile of work now and in a little while I'll be putting on the layers, shoveling out my car, and driving to the farm at a whopping 20 miles an hour to care for the horses. Be nice to have company for the ride or have someone when I get back to share a mug of hot chocolate. Sigh..oh well, we move along....
JDPT Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 The pain and anger feel like it's subsiding. I feel like I can breathe today, I feel as if there is hope no only with regards to my physical injury but with my emotional injury as well. I don't want to think about when the next wave will come, I just want to ride this one out. 1
Monopoly Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I've been doing rather okay since nye, but this morning has been really hard for some reason. I tried really hard not to think but it's a daily battle. I just want to be happy again.
RDawg Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Been in limited contact this week regarding the house. That issue is going to drag on for months and months.. she will just have to be patient. Haven't exchanged any real news with her. I feel like sending her a mail and saying stuff it, let's go for a drink. no rehashing just a single drink and some laughs. I know it's against the rules but I miss you and it's a gorgeous day out there..
im_thedude Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Ugh, I just want to meet someone new so the image of my ex in my head serving as a placeholder can vanish 1
RDawg Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I hear you buddy. If only we could put the energy we put into clinging on into finding the next one.
jphcbpa Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I hear you buddy. If only we could put the energy we put into clinging on into finding the next one. put the energy into finding yourself
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