Kelley Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I miss what we had not you. I want it back but not with you. In general feeling lots better, the anxiety has totally gone and my heart isn't as heavy. But I am starting to really miss the things we used to do and that connection we had. I know it will take time to find it again (I'm not ready to date anyway). I guess it's just the loneliness after a break up that we all go through. Filling my life with a lot of positives but sometimes I just want to cuddle and talk to my best friend. I guess it will pass eventually!
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I am so happy to be in the situation I am in. I don't look my best today at all but I am on the path to in a few short months. The way things are going, I feel like he did me a huge favor actually and when I get bored I even have a puzzle to solve. This morning when this guy jogged by me, he was movie star good looking (and married) most are and most are unhappy. When I am ready to date in two and a half more years (maybe next summer) well there will be pleanty and many! Thanks for nothing but everything at the same time! (sarcasm and attitude in this)
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Still remember all the details from last year. I dare you to do this face to face and let's have a friendship not. I am not two faced and I would have to just to get enough information on the "website broad" to humiliate her for a change. Oh I am motivated in the gym! thank you for your picture dahling. BYE BYE! Hate isn't going anywhere even when I learned to love.
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I wrote you a song for two reasons, one so they can delete this account and I never have the urge to respond and two because I am in a loving mood this morning and want to share it.. I will never forgive you because I don't need to you made your choice how to handle me and you did so you should be happy I am not trying to change your mind and you could never change mine I only wish for a little bit of space so I can move on from this as I do deserve this - just because I enabled abuse did not mean you had to go out of your way and spend the time and money abusing me then tell me it is my fault you are a lesson a lesson to never believe one man is higher then any other man on this planet because we are all equal not. If the books and bible says that then society says different so thank you for your opinion. I will do exactly as you ask and remove you from my mind. Replacing you will indeed be easier then forgetting you and that is just shame! bitter not bitter to you yes. DIslike you strongly but not to worry, you have so many friends!
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I will never use my intelligence on you, it'll end up self helping some other poor soul. You chose other women and I don't blame you at all so in the end, you don't owe me anything. Some of your actions were a little out there considering your friends acted on your behalf so you risk getting close to me. I come at a high cost and am I worth going to jail for so no I don't blame you . In the end, my life will be private from you and I'll take it!
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I am not worth loosing your job for just like you weren't worth anything I lost so trust me, you and I are not on good terms and never will we ever be! remember this. You have indeed made tons of friends so enjoy them as I am not one and I am not a liar after all. Luckily I am using a fake name!
DarrenB Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I have been nothing other than tormented by the inescapable collapse of my own self-consciousness. My memory and mind has been depleted, I am becoming increasingly fatigued as my anxiety increases. But I am in full terms of my loss. I am aware, I am subdued by my thoughts. I miss her, I miss what we had, the intimacy we shared, the memories we had created. But I am longing for a certain closure and clarity I will never be greeted with. I am fine with that. I must embrace the sorrow and live on. This is the first in over a week since I have documented properly about how I feel. I am remorseful, but I feel no regret. I guess this is just how losing those of whom you love works. Conclusion.
keiji Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Yesterday I put an end to a relationship that started last July. It looked promising, but it went down the hill quite fast. She's great, but I can't see a future with her as things are. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be the dumper. She begged and cried and promised to improve and adjust to my needs. It was horrible to see it from the other side of the fence. Horrible, really. This morning she kept sending long whatsapp messages and all I wanted was to pretend they weren't there. I have feelings for her but, as we are told when we're dumped, that doesn't mean I want a relationship with her, and all the begging and pleading isn't making things better. I hope I remember this when someone decides to break up with me in the future. It's the worst you can do.
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 I feel no loss what so ever. I do find it very funny how the friends my "ex: made from our break up can not let this break up go. I took it so personal until I was able to recognize that these ones have serious problems and it is now their obsession and nobody elses. Luckily, they break the law that in time something will give. I look forward to that day!
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Especially when there has been missing meat from my house, a missing grocery list pad and a deck fire! all noted and I take someone in my house very serious. How serious, only those to find out!
artnoveau Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 It has been more than two years since my relationship with a commitment phobic guy finally ended for good. It had been an up and down of being together, not being together, him not being able to decide between me and another girl. The only reason I stuck around so long was that we were very good friends before we started getting more intimate. And maybe because it all escalated very slowly. But basically he got very uncomfortable once all the other obstacles were gone and we had an official relationship going. He would feel uncomfortable about holding hands in public.... He was also gaslighting me, I think. I wanted more communication when we were apart. Messages and stuff. We only saw each other only twice a week, as it was, but he would barely answer my messages. In the end I wrote about three messages a day and he would answer with one. He wouldn't even react to questions. And he blamed me and said I was crazy and clingy for wanting too much communication. So I am barely over him now. (Not sure if I am, but I have thought about dating other people now, so that might be as good as it gets). And a couple of days ago a stranger was bitchy and mean to me on twitter (which I only started using again, after I avoided it because of him). I checked her profile and a picture she posted on the same day was her in my exboyfriend's bed. I'm not even that upset that he is dating someone new. He had 10 girlfriends before me, he was gonna have others. But I feel unhappy and out of control, because she can just go and write something mean to me. I am pretty sure she knows who I am and I am pretty sure there is an implicit girlcode of not randomly contacting your boyfriends ex with mean messages. I don't want him back, I am not a threat to her. I basically want to get as far away from him, as possible. What is upsetting to me also is that I'm pretty sure he has told her about me that I am clingy and crazy and depressed (which I was in the end, due to the way he treated me). And that thought puts brings the same bad emotions back, I have experienced with him. I really did believe in the end, that I was the one who was crazy. And now I feel the same way again, even though I know I shouldn't. But I am hating myself again, feel like I am worthless and like nobody will ever marry me. Yesterday I felt a deep desperation. I am also angry that I can't contact him and ask him to make her stop. First of all she only wrote to me once and since I have blocked her. Thus no need to ask for his help. Secondly he wouldn't give it to me. Instead he'd probably be mean and hurtful. Five months after my birthday he gave me a present (premium membership to a website) and I made a point of refusing it. Wrote the administrators and had them transfer the money back to him. Then send him a email explaining how I didn't want it and that I wanted to be left alone please. He sent a very mean email back, how he just wanted to contribute to my hobby as he was glad I finally had found one (how dare he). Somehow I feel like I should still be special to him, which is silly. Yes, he did that **** with me longer than with any other person, but I can't expect to still be special for him. Probably I just want that because he is still special to me. Special in the sense, that he destroyed my selfworth and it has never been the same since. And even if I was still special, that would be soooo unhealthy for me. In addition to that his message just came at a time when I was starting to get over him, when I stopped being depressed and went out and had fun and started to be interested in guys again. (This time the right time of guy). And now I feel anything but ready to date someone again. I am sorry that this is such a long rant. I don't expect anyone to read. It just helps to be writing on here. More than talking to a therapist, somehow. Gosh, I just want to be happy some day and have a partner and one or two kids and still have a career and I feel like that is never going to happen.
artnoveau Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 And I really feel like just booking a flight to somewhere to get as far away from all this as possible. In real life I am locking myself up in my flat though and canceling dates with my friends, because I can't stand talking about it. I hate myself for staying home, though. I should be out there and happy. He shouldn't have that power over me.
OntarioBoy Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Well I have good days and I have bad days. Yesterday was a not so good day. I have to work with the girl that I was turned down by, that I accept full responsibility for. But that aside, yesterday I saw her hugging another co-worker of mine and it just really bothered me, wasn't even her boyfriend. I guess the green eyed monster of jealous was showing its face. But it wasn't just jealousy that was the issue. It also brought forth a lot of hurt and other emotions. And I kind of realized that I am not quiet as over her as I would like to be. When I am not at work or I don't see her at work I am for the most part okay. I am able to focus on other things and distract myself. But when I see her, my emotions can sometimes come bubbling back up. I have to work crazy hours sometimes so it's more so when I am tired that I find myself a little more emotional, and yesterday was the end of a crazy week for me. So I kind of chalk it up to that. But it still sucks. Guess I just have to let time do it's thing and hope the feelings ease up over time.
Wuku Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Still on the emotional rollercoaster. I was doing really well the last few weeks, thought I had it licked! Then just started feeling down and sad again. I can't help missing her, or what we had, and that loss is saddening. It will be a year next month, right around Christmas. I hope I can go back to feeling indifferent again soon, and that it stays that way.
NopeNah Posted November 7, 2016 Posted November 7, 2016 Still have the "WTF was that!?" going through my mind. I'm not sad or depressed as I was the one who ended it before, because of the exact behavior that she exhibited two nights ago.. BUT...DAMN! Crazyness! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/600518-invited-milestone-bday
Logo Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Thank god it's Monday again. You don't hear that often, I bet.
lae Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 two months after the breakup, he keeps writing me that he misses me and feels bad about the break up. that he can't wait to reunite with me and see me again next month.he says he made a mistake to break up. i wrote back, finally, telling him i miss him too. i feel it was ok, don't regret it. we talked a bit, it was friendly. i have hope. not sure if it is the wrong thing to do.
DarrenB Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 two months after the breakup, he keeps writing me that he misses me and feels bad about the break up. that he can't wait to reunite with me and see me again next month.he says he made a mistake to break up. i wrote back, finally, telling him i miss him too. i feel it was ok, don't regret it. we talked a bit, it was friendly. i have hope. not sure if it is the wrong thing to do. Well that all depends on what outcome you essentially want. What would that be?
DarrenB Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 The word “love” is often thrown around carelessly and relationships aren’t always taken as seriously as they should be. Please realize that breaking up with someone may lead to psychological damage. Don’t tell someone you love them if you don’t. Don’t recite vows and marry someone if you don’t really believe in honoring those vows. Don’t date someone and continue to use their body when you know you don’t want to be with them. And keep in mind that the breakup might be right and simple for you but eternal for someone else. 2
Wuku Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 Why can't I rush through this process? Why can't I be over it, and say enough is enough? Why do I have to carry around this sadness and unhappiness? Why do I have to think about her and reminisce daily? It's not like I haven't accepted it, it's not even that I'm not doing much better than I was 10 months ago, I am. It's just this horrible sadness and loss that I'm carrying around. I miss her and her friendship. I still want her if I'm honest, even though I know that will never happen. It's just ridiculous, she is probably having a much happier life right now, with no care or thought for me, yet I still have to think and care about her, and still have to even dream about her. I still wish she would contact me, even if it's just to say "hi", and even though I've been NC for 8 months. I would not contact her though, it would be pointless and probably painful. She decided to completely cut me out of her life. She had no need for me anymore, and she decided not to give me any new contact details. I wish I could just shrug it off as if it didn't matter, but she mattered, and she was the love of my life. I may well have accepted its over, and be learning to live with it, but I don't think the huge hole left will ever be filled.
NopeNah Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 After deleting her from fakebook and blocking her number(she couldn't understand why), I feel a sense of peace. After the other night, I had no choice but to cut her from my life completely. I did talk to her on the phone last night and told her that I was blocking and "going forward without her". She cried,cursed,ect..I cannot fix her and am tired of trying. I've been more prosperous in all facets of my life since I ended it in August and should have stayed away but, thought I'd give her another 'one more chance'...she let me down...again. She sees nothing wrong with her and it's sad. 1
Kelley Posted November 8, 2016 Posted November 8, 2016 I must say I think I'm doing really well. I don't have the heavy heart and the anxiety anymore. Sure I still think of him now and again, I miss the intimacy and my best friend at times too but I'm getting on with my life and enjoying the peace of NC and the healing. I'm healing me, time will help too but if you don't accept it's over and grieve you will be stuck for a long time. I refuse to spend years hung up on my cheating ex. Do everything you can to move on the first step is acceptance not holding onto false hope. 3
Deadmeat Posted November 9, 2016 Posted November 9, 2016 Last minute trip to Vegas with 3 of my closest friends. After 2 months this is the first time I'm making the effort to get out. I hope this trip does me well. I'm doing this for myself. **** you B. 2
Logo Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 I'm not doing too well. Maybe I'm looking to date too early. So far, I have tried to go on two dates and both have shown interest at first, but then given me a the runaround or a cold shoulder. No dates scheduled. They're 'busy'. Either I've become very sensitive due to the breakup or I'm not willing to put up with the same crap that my ex used to put me through. Maybe my depression comes through in the way I talk. I don't know anymore. So I rule them out immediately. Women should be chasing me, not the other way around. Some people are just looking for self-validation, and once I give them a little bit of attention, they start with the power games. Screw it. My ego gets bruised every time, I can't put up with it. If you like me, show me respect. If you can't show me the same respect I show you, then f*** you. Maybe it's too early to date. Or, maybe I'm trying to date the wrong women. Am I confused or am I trying to heal?
Kelley Posted November 10, 2016 Posted November 10, 2016 I would give the dating a miss for now. Just concentrate on you and work through your feelings. There is still a lot of anger that comes across and potential dates will pick up on this. You want a clean slate going into another potential relationship. When you are happy being single then consider it. Just my opinion I'm not doing too well. Maybe I'm looking to date too early. So far, I have tried to go on two dates and both have shown interest at first, but then given me a the runaround or a cold shoulder. No dates scheduled. They're 'busy'. Either I've become very sensitive due to the breakup or I'm not willing to put up with the same crap that my ex used to put me through. Maybe my depression comes through in the way I talk. I don't know anymore. So I rule them out immediately. Women should be chasing me, not the other way around. Some people are just looking for self-validation, and once I give them a little bit of attention, they start with the power games. Screw it. My ego gets bruised every time, I can't put up with it. If you like me, show me respect. If you can't show me the same respect I show you, then f*** you. Maybe it's too early to date. Or, maybe I'm trying to date the wrong women. Am I confused or am I trying to heal?
Recommended Posts