How are you coping today?

[sooshi]

Yep, I remember reading that you've been journaling. Are you still doing yoga as well?

 

I'm glad you've been doing pretty well! You've been making choices where you choose yourself, and that's awesome.

 

Edited to add: Just saw your post. I'm glad you're spending time with friends and family, and doing activities around town. Haha, if only you were motivated to clean your living room. That made me laugh.

[Bialy]

Yes! Yoga on Sundays and guided meditation on Mondays have done me a world of good. There was a point where I felt things going stale a few weeks ago and I'm so glad I added these two things into my life.

[sooshi]

That's wonderful to hear, Bialy! I'm really happy for you!

 

I recently started doing yoga at home. Your yoga thread on here was a noticeable part of the inspiration/motivation. It came at the right time. Thanks, Bialy!!

[DarrenB]

Give it a try :-)

 

Can't help but agree, really. Late reply, slept through a majority of the day as I had a 3 hour conference meeting midday. Not really what you want on a supposedly vacant weekend.

 

But that's great for you. It's good progression and it seems to be working, so if that's the case then that's swell. Keep it up!

 

I, myself, I take rather different approaches than other people when it comes to overcoming things. My dwelling sadness is my company. It's where my motivation and determination stems from. Been that way since I started high school in 2009... I'm sure that every one of us here, regardless of situation and amounted problems we face, will overcome every single one of them at some point. Hm. Though thoughts, emotions and memories will linger on for a lifetime, they can be replaced with new ones :-)

[evanop]

Day 8. I am slowly starting to wonder if you will ever talk to me again. With every day that goes by, I feel the chances will get slimmer.

I remember that it was me who started this. if it were up to you, we were on the phone and texting every single darn day. Because you wanted to drag me along. And yet, here we are. Not talking to one another. I am trying to move on. And I have no clue what it is you are trying to do. I am sure it's all show. I am sure you are unhappy. Still crying probably, at times, wondering about what could have been.

Well, idiot, that's on you.

I am here on my couch, not sure what to do first, and all I do know is this: We are meant to be together, and you ****ed it up.

You are the one losing more than I am. At least I have the life I had before I met you, which was great. What do you have?

A ****ty job that doesn't pay, you work for a place to sleep in a room with 3 other people, and you eat ramen noodles for lunch every day. Thank god I don't have to witness that.

 

Yeah, anyway, that being said, I am sad. 8 days is too much. WHEN WILL IT GET EASIER????

[NIGHT1985]

What the hell man..... been so well the last couple weeks.. I just home Friday, went on an amazing date and have been enjoying life again, and what happens? One of me and my ex's mutual friends breaks the news that she's pregnant. I'm right back to where I started, full of pain, guilt, and even some anger

[Kelley]

I have cried a lot today, I think I have a lot of pent up emotions and it feels better to let them out. Just feel them, process them and let go. Just hiding them and not dealing delays the process. I'm going through, heading to healing.

[sherbmeister]

Well, its been almost three months since breakup and two since NC... I think it's safe to say she's over me since she hasn't tried at least a bit to contact me. Sad...

[Logo]

I'm an emotional wreck tonight. I go from being bitter, angry and resentful, to missing us, what we used to be.

 

I look at us back in the spring and compare with what we became when we split up and I'm shocked.

 

I thought it was going to last forever. Either life's circumstances got in the way, or she had no intention of actually following through from the very start. I just don't know. I feel confused. I miss us. I miss the moments we had together. How did things get to the point they did? It was like a car wreck in slow motion.

 

These last few days I thought I was doing well. I thought I was getting better. Suddenly I'm thinking about what we had and next thing I know I'm looking at pictures again. I just had to. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see us embracing each other, kissing and goofing around.

 

I wish we could erase our memories and meet each other like strangers again and start afresh. Would we end up in the same place? Maybe in another life?

[sherbmeister]

I'm an emotional wreck tonight. I go from being bitter, angry and resentful, to missing us, what we used to be.

 

I look at us back in the spring and compare with what we became when we split up and I'm shocked.

 

I thought it was going to last forever. Either life's circumstances got in the way, or she had no intention of actually following through from the very start. I just don't know. I feel confused. I miss us. I miss the moments we had together. How did things get to the point they did? It was like a car wreck in slow motion.

 

These last few days I thought I was doing well. I thought I was getting better. Suddenly I'm thinking about what we had and next thing I know I'm looking at pictures again. I just had to. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see us embracing each other, kissing and goofing around.

 

I wish we could erase our memories and meet each other like strangers again and start afresh. Would we end up in the same place? Maybe in another life?

 

I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason. I just hope this nightmare we're all going through is for a damn good reason cause this is ridiculously painful.

[Kelley]

Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order to gain. Sometimes some lessons are learned through pain.

 

I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason. I just hope this nightmare we're all going through is for a damn good reason cause this is ridiculously painful.

[Bialy]

I don't think this is a setback, but maybe it is to some.

 

Last week, I wanted to reach out to my ex. Nothing serious. Just wanted to share some thoughts on travel and a couple things that we had in common, hobby-wise. I don't have any real reason except that, yes, I still think about this person. Not in a romantic way, but as a friend - which is probably ridiculous to even consider. I don't want to physically see him since we are on two separate paths.

 

My mom, sister, and pretty much everyone else, advised me against sending an email. My mom was angry over the phone that I was even considering it.

 

But I wrote him an email this morning. I wrote the email in such a way that a response really isn't necessary. I don't feel bad about it. Possibly a weak moment on my part - just felt compelled to do so.

[Bialy]

I can totally understand why a clean break - ripping the bandaid off approach is said to be the healthiest when it comes to breakups.

[sherbmeister]

I promised myself I'll never cry again for her since we broke up... Today I did cry again, for no particular reason... I wish I could get back to my strong self where nobody mattered more than I to myself, where I would never cry over pathetic stuff like this..

 

Here's a song for everyone who is going through this pain

 

Stay strong all!

[DarrenB]

I promised myself I'll never cry again for her since we broke up... Today I did cry again, for no particular reason... I wish I could get back to my strong self where nobody mattered more than I to myself, where I would never cry over pathetic stuff like this..

 

Here's a song for everyone who is going through this pain

 

Stay strong all!

 

That's a great little tune Sherb. Really nice to play on an acoustic and electric guitar also... I like adding my own licks to the chorus too.

 

It's a shame you still feel this way, it's a shame quite a few of us do. Losing someone you love and potentially still love, for myself it's one of the hardest things I've probably had/have to overcome.

 

We must think positive though. There's time for sadness, there's time to ache and tear. But we must think, even after it all, there will be a better outcome. When that time comes, you'll feel so much better.

 

Have a good day/night mate. Take some time for yourself, have a drink, watch a movie, whatever.

[sherbmeister]

That's a great little tune Sherb. Really nice to play on an acoustic and electric guitar also... I like adding my own licks to the chorus too.

 

It's a shame you still feel this way, it's a shame quite a few of us do. Losing someone you love and potentially still love, for myself it's one of the hardest things I've probably had/have to overcome.

 

We must think positive though. There's time for sadness, there's time to ache and tear. But we must think, even after it all, there will be a better outcome. When that time comes, you'll feel so much better.

 

Have a good day/night mate. Take some time for yourself, have a drink, watch a movie, whatever.

 

Thanks man... I will. Hope you're doing better than I am. It's rather normal I suppose, I've seen bad days and really really good days. The days I don't think about her at least half the day is a win for me and I've had them. I just want this period to go away faster so I can get on with my life, like all of us I suppose. Cheers, take care

[RyanO1991]

Had a whole week of feeling completely indifferent about my ex. The anger's swept in again for the first time tonight but I expect that will pass by morning. It's been two months, after all.

[Logo]

I have no idea what happened. But, yesterday I suffered a major setback, see my last post on this thread.

 

Today I walked in to work feeling lousy. I was thinking about her the entire day whenever I wasn't super busy and distracted. Then when I finished work, I felt very sad, sadder than I did the entire week last week. I don't know what's happening, but I'm feeling like something happened to me yesterday that set me back a lot. It's been almost a month and a half and I feel like I'm back to the three week mark. I don't get it.

 

Nice memories keep flashing in my head. Like in a movie, a scene here, a scene there.

 

I miss her so much. Just yesterday morning and the entire weekend I was angry at her. Now I feel like I just want to hug her.

 

And as I'm writing this, I'm thinking of the last day when we saw each other, the day the relationship ended. I'm getting angry at her again for what she did and how indifferent she was that day.

 

Sorry I'm sharing too much information, but I haven't had sex since we split up. And I haven't even "cleaned the pipes" since then either. I just didn't want to feel like I was single again, so I avoided it until this weekend. When I did it, I thought of us having sex. Maybe that's where the setback came from. I don't know anymore. It was definitely a nice ego boost when I had sex with my ex and I knew I was satisfying her. Now that I'm single, I feel like a teenager again. It depresses me. I feel like someone strapped me to an emotional roller coaster. What's going on? Am I alone in feeling this way, about sex and everything else, the affection, the touching, the kissing?

 

When all that is taken away from a person, suddenly being with a woman feels like a major accomplishment. I feel weird that I feel that way and that I'm thinking that way. I don't want to feel desperate. Yuk.

Edited October 25, 2016 by Logo

[starswewillnavigate]

Should be excited about new beginnings, but feel anxious as I look towards the ending with ex 2 days NC.

[loney_girl]

Coping very poorly. Its been just over a month and I don't feel like I've really progressed at all aside from I've stopped counting how many days its been since the break up daily to myself. Still have brief periods of crying daily when random thoughts of him pop into my head. I feel so alone but the thought of dating right now repulses me.

[Bialy]

Coping very poorly. Its been just over a month and I don't feel like I've really progressed at all aside from I've stopped counting how many days its been since the break up daily to myself. Still have brief periods of crying daily when random thoughts of him pop into my head. I feel so alone but the thought of dating right now repulses me.

Hang in there, girl. A month and a half - things are still very fresh.

 

Don't date yet if you are not ready. BUT do be kind to yourself. Listen to upbeat, positive music. Watch a funny movie. Breathe and relax. Don't forget to eat and drink plenty of water. If you have any young child relatives, spend time with them. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Soak up sunshine.

[loney_girl]

Thank you I'm working on it. Trying to keep busy

[sooshi]

We first crossed paths seven years ago tonight.

 

And today, signs from the universe abounded to show that it, too, remembers.

 

Even though I hurt, I know I am being protected and taken care of.

 

Thank you, universe, for protecting me and taking care of me.

[Sunnymae]

Ive realized that there is nothing to hold on to. I've come to the end of the road.

Feel a strong sense of relief.

[DarrenB]

You know what, I've spent over 70 days crying, procrastinating, hurting, overthinking. Not once have I gone a full 24 hours without feeling some sort of negative emotion and sadness towards my ex. But this morning (currently 5:00am GMT), I've thought you "you know what? it could be so much worse", because it genuinely could. I mean we left things on almost the worst terms you could think of, she put me through some emotional torment, however, why must we regret what has happened? why must we question the obvious? why must we attempt to avoid the inevitable? seek answers we shouldn't? the list goes on.

 

I've never been the most optimistic of life, I've normally been quite the opposite and quite the pessimist. But hey, I'm living at this moment in time, I've experienced a heck of alot of great things but also alot of sad things, but isn't that what life's about? living?

 

Sometimes, we go through the best times, sometimes we go through the absolute worst. If there's anything I've noticed in the past 70 days of losing my first true love, and everything else from my own troubled past, it's that there is absolutely no point in trying to change what has already happened. I think of it as, you either grow and progress, or you perish in your own self-sorrow. I've seen and witnessed what depression and sadness can do to a person. I have understood and felt the struggles and sadness that could keep you bed-ridden and beat down for weeks. I have deciphered life's hardships for all it has to offer.

 

Nothing is easy. Nothing. Everything we do, every action, thought, emotion, feeling we create has it's own path. Time is of the essence; a virtue if you will. We shouldn't spend our valuable time on this earth, questioning our self-worth and feeling self-pity because of someone else's actions and feelings towards us. We should embrace whatever, if that be negative or positive, even neutral. What will make you want to live? what will make you want to enjoy what life has to offer? a determination to self-preservation and fulfillment is the answer. Do not let anyone, interfere with your dreams, do not let anyone conduct your life, you and only you decide your fate. The people of the past, they are obsolete. They do not interfere with our lives no more, nor should we let them. They want to be able to be involved in our present lives again? they know where we are, they know exactly how to do that. We should not chase those who abandoned, who ridiculed, who despised and deceived. We should maintain focus, and believe that the future holds more than what we could ever imagine. We should not feel defeated. We should feel up-lifted by ourselves, be encouraged and eliminate the feeling of sorrow.

 

Tldr: I don't know how I feel. But I damn well feel alot more motivated and content than I have the past 4 months. Live your lives people. We've been given the privilege to live this precious life, to do everything we want, everything we need to do. Embrace, love, motivate, cultivate, progress, develop, dream, live.

Edited October 25, 2016 by DarrenB