starswewillnavigate Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 Today is another hard day. NC from him at all yesterday and nothing so far today. Sunday night he read my message and didn't reply. Trying to keep my mind off looking at my phone, I wish that I could just get rid of the damn thing.
Kelley Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 If I'm honest I hope he stays NC so you can move on. Today is another hard day. NC from him at all yesterday and nothing so far today. Sunday night he read my message and didn't reply. Trying to keep my mind off looking at my phone, I wish that I could just get rid of the damn thing.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I ate today......and showered #progress Every time my phone goes off, i hope it's NOT him. And we're married. And we live together. Fck.
Kelley Posted October 18, 2016 Posted October 18, 2016 I have had a really good day, no heavy heart, no knots in my stomach, just peace. I have no idea why, maybe it's just a good day scattered within the bad and hell days. I don't care why, just more days like this please 2
Kelley Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Everything is back with vengeance today. I'm actually nauseous this morning from the anxiety. I have never been through a break up like this before. I think being cheated on and being left for someone else is just hell. It really messes with your confidence, being lied to especially. I feel used and abused to be honest. I feel that bad today I can't face work. I'm soooo tired too from not sleeping. I'm not sure if I should seek some counselling or give it more time. I know it's only week 3 ... Feeling really weak today, I'm just going to stay at home and give myself some TLC, well try to, sleep would be nice!
RyanO1991 Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Everything is back with vengeance today. I'm actually nauseous this morning from the anxiety. I have never been through a break up like this before. I think being cheated on and being left for someone else is just hell. It really messes with your confidence, being lied to especially. I feel used and abused to be honest. I feel that bad today I can't face work. I'm soooo tired too from not sleeping. I'm not sure if I should seek some counselling or give it more time. I know it's only week 3 ... Feeling really weak today, I'm just going to stay at home and give myself some TLC, well try to, sleep would be nice! Take it easy, Kelley. Pamper yourself as best you can and rest up. It doesn't seem like it, but it will get easier. Confidence can get hit really badly when we're cheated on, but we didn't do anything wrong. It's a flaw with the other partner. Remember there are other guys out there who appreciate you - the guy who asked you for a drink, for example - so there will be a happy ending. Take care.
Kelley Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Thank you :-) I ended up having a panic attack, never felt anything like it in my life. The anxiety has been really bad, and even though I have tried to push through it, it's just kept on building. I think the panic attack was just releasing it maybe. I think I need some extra help to get things out, I'm doing the best I can, but it's not working. I know I need time, but like I said I have had breakups before and even though I felt heartbroken and depressed I never suffered with anxiety. I need to try and sort this before it becomes something so big I have to try and live with it long term. Take it easy, Kelley. Pamper yourself as best you can and rest up. It doesn't seem like it, but it will get easier. Confidence can get hit really badly when we're cheated on, but we didn't do anything wrong. It's a flaw with the other partner. Remember there are other guys out there who appreciate you - the guy who asked you for a drink, for example - so there will be a happy ending. Take care.
Sunnymae Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 After 5 months, the impulse to text has finally subsided. I still think about him everyday, I don't think about him all the time though. Sometimes I even say hey I haven't thought about him today.... Hmm to me that's an accomplishment! Compared to the first two weeks, It has gotten easier. Just very random feelings of sadness. So for all the people newly dumped, it does get better. Just keep working through it and it will get better. 1
Bialy Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Is there any way for you to see a therapist or counselor, Kelley? It might help a lot. You might want to see if there are any holistic centers that offer meditation in the evening. I've been attending a Monday Night one for a few weeks and it is great. It's something to do, but it also helps to relax.
Bialy Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I saw a photo of my ex taken yesterday and I'm shocked. The last time I saw him was in late August. He looks awful in this recent photo. Really, really awful. It's a selfie taken by his fiancée of him, her, and his 14 year old son. They're on vacation in the Caribbean. When I compare the photo I took of him in late August to this current one, he looks so different. Unshaven and old. And sad.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 Everything is back with vengeance today. I'm actually nauseous this morning from the anxiety. I have never been through a break up like this before. I think being cheated on and being left for someone else is just hell. It really messes with your confidence, being lied to especially. I feel used and abused to be honest. I feel that bad today I can't face work. I'm soooo tired too from not sleeping. I'm not sure if I should seek some counselling or give it more time. I know it's only week 3 ... Feeling really weak today, I'm just going to stay at home and give myself some TLC, well try to, sleep would be nice! I know what you mean... I am so sorry. I just want to stay home with the covers over my head. How could he cheat and rip my heart out? I thought we were special, now I just feel like "Used up Vagina He Threw Away." Yesterday I was talking about pregnancy with someone and I just crumpled. (He cheated on me while pregnant). It will never go away now. Every time I think about bringing my daughter into the world I will remember that she's REALLY REALLY lucky to be okay. Because her father screwed someone high-risk and did even get a TEST to make sure he didn't infect us.
Kelley Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I'm looking into counselling now, I think I need to talk everything through see if I can deal and get rid of this anxiety. I'm really anxious today and trying to relax and have a pamper. It's not working too well, but back at work tomorrow I feel distracted there. Is there any way for you to see a therapist or counselor, Kelley? It might help a lot. You might want to see if there are any holistic centers that offer meditation in the evening. I've been attending a Monday Night one for a few weeks and it is great. It's something to do, but it also helps to relax.
Kelley Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I'm sorry too, being cheated on is the worst feeling in the world. No matter how hard you try it's rocks you to the core and knocks your confidence. I look forward to the day when I'm over it, and get me back. Take care you. I know what you mean... I am so sorry. I just want to stay home with the covers over my head. How could he cheat and rip my heart out? I thought we were special, now I just feel like "Used up Vagina He Threw Away." Yesterday I was talking about pregnancy with someone and I just crumpled. (He cheated on me while pregnant). It will never go away now. Every time I think about bringing my daughter into the world I will remember that she's REALLY REALLY lucky to be okay. Because her father screwed someone high-risk and did even get a TEST to make sure he didn't infect us.
RyanO1991 Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I'm looking into counselling now, I think I need to talk everything through see if I can deal and get rid of this anxiety. I'm really anxious today and trying to relax and have a pamper. It's not working too well, but back at work tomorrow I feel distracted there. Relate has a live text chat counselling service that you can use. 1
Bialy Posted October 19, 2016 Posted October 19, 2016 I'm looking into counselling now, I think I need to talk everything through see if I can deal and get rid of this anxiety. I'm really anxious today and trying to relax and have a pamper. It's not working too well, but back at work tomorrow I feel distracted there. For what it's worth, if you lived in the USA, I'd offer my number for you to vent and talk it out with someone new. 1
starswewillnavigate Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 I'm looking into counselling now, I think I need to talk everything through see if I can deal and get rid of this anxiety. I'm really anxious today and trying to relax and have a pamper. It's not working too well, but back at work tomorrow I feel distracted there. Kelley - I hope you're feeling better today. I've had panic attacks in the past and suffering from anxiety now, it makes you feel so helpless. Definitely seek out a good counsellor, if anything it's a place to focus all those negative energies and a place to rebuild your self esteem. 1
starswewillnavigate Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 So yesterday was a good day, I didn't care if he messaged me or not and of course he did. It was like he had a sixth sense or something as I actually had a date with another man. Today, I'm back in old habits, looking at my phone waiting for his name.
Kelley Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 First off thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it I'm actually having a good day today, but I have contacted a couple of counsellors. The anxiety is at it's worst in the mornings, but today it eased off after an hour and the rest of the day has been good. I love days like this, wish they were all like this, feeling calm. I'm also starting yoga next week, I have always wanted to try it, so I'm going to give it a go, why not :-) So yesterday was a good day, I didn't care if he messaged me or not and of course he did. It was like he had a sixth sense or something as I actually had a date with another man. Today, I'm back in old habits, looking at my phone waiting for his name. They always know when you are doing good, don't let it put you off though I hope you went out on that date at least!
evanop Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 Today was really bad. Day 5 of no contact. Really missing him and talking to him. Can't believe he doesn't feel the same.
Kelley Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 It will get easier eventually, I know it's hell but you have to go through the pain, no shortcuts, just one day at a time. I get the him not feeling the same, but you know what, think about you not him. Look after you, love yourself. Take care. Today was really bad. Day 5 of no contact. Really missing him and talking to him. Can't believe he doesn't feel the same.
starswewillnavigate Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 First off thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it I'm actually having a good day today, but I have contacted a couple of counsellors. The anxiety is at it's worst in the mornings, but today it eased off after an hour and the rest of the day has been good. I love days like this, wish they were all like this, feeling calm. I'm also starting yoga next week, I have always wanted to try it, so I'm going to give it a go, why not :-) They always know when you are doing good, don't let it put you off though I hope you went out on that date at least! So glad to hear you are having a good day - Yoga sounds like a great way to help you keep calm. I'm glad that you have contacted a couple counsellors - I've found it a good place for reflection. I did actually go on the date and it was really nice! He's very interesting and charming - he has asked to see me again. The thing that struck me was how respectful he was and it makes me look at the situation with ex and how he never really has been. NC from ex today.
Kelley Posted October 20, 2016 Posted October 20, 2016 I'm really pleased that the date went well, I hope the second date goes as well. Give him a chance, and if it works out trust me the ex will be the last thing on your mind :-) You deserve someone that is good to you, remember your self worth. I did actually go on the date and it was really nice! He's very interesting and charming - he has asked to see me again. The thing that struck me was how respectful he was and it makes me look at the situation with ex and how he never really has been. NC from ex today.
DarrenB Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I'm struggling. I don't know why I am, why I'm still so hurt and broken over something obsolete. The past 4 months in general have been a stressful duration of time; I seem to have made mistakes multiple times in all areas of life and now it has taken a toll on me. Being abandoned not for the first time, and I'm sure not my last, did not help my own well-being nor my thoughts on wanting to continue with life, however I'm still here - struggling but surviving. It's routine for me to feel like this, but never would I have thought this situation of my life would turn so brutal and so against me. I envy people in love, I envy the people who enjoy life without needing love. I'm not getting over this, but I'm sure she already has. Seems I'm really that bad of a person. It's got to happen to someone. 3
Logo Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 Yesterday was a good day. I was busy at work, fond memories would flash in my head from time to time and my heart would falter a little, but the memory would quickly pass and I would move on. Today was a little different. I had some very stressful work to do so I missed the days when I would get out of work and be with her and she would be my safe haven. I would be at peace. I missed that today. My sleep pattern is still horrible. I used to sleep like a baby when I was with her. After sex, I would be both relaxed and knocked out and I'd just pass out and sleep until the morning. These days i go to bed early, only to wake up at 3 or 4. It sucks. I'm sleep deprived and it shows on my face and under my eyes. But I'm almost at a point where coming over here and sharing my experiences or reading others experiences makes me feel as though I'm marinating in the grief instead of distracting myself from it. Perhaps I'm tired talking about it. Does that mean I'm over her or does it just mean that I'm tired thinking about it or talking about it? Also today was the first time that I used the term "my ex girlfriend" to talk about her in a formal setting and it felt weird to describe her like that. It made me a little sad. 2
starswewillnavigate Posted October 21, 2016 Posted October 21, 2016 I'm really pleased that the date went well, I hope the second date goes as well. Give him a chance, and if it works out trust me the ex will be the last thing on your mind :-) You deserve someone that is good to you, remember your self worth. I'm worried I'm going to rush things though, just to try and take my mind off ex. Second date night be today, we need to firm up plans. Ex contacted me late yesterday, just a 2 word line and then logged off so he couldn't read my reply. That has broken me more than NC, it feels so controlling. Had a dream about him and now I'm up early in tears. I don't know why I'm wasting my energy on him.
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