How are you coping today?

[Kelley]

Move to Louisville, it's clear you need a new start somewhere new. Life is too short, make it happen you deserve to be happy too.

 

 

 

Told myself I wouldn't, but I'm falling right back down.

 

What the hell is wrong with me? Don't I deserve some happiness? Some peace and solitude away from this pain.

 

 

I wish there was an antidepressant that did the following

 

Turn of all needs for companionship with others

Turn of all needs for intimacy or touch

Make me happy whiteout having needs of anything or anyone except food and water

[cucumber95]

2 last weeks were fine for me, but today her mother added picture of herself and her daughters (1 is my ex), felt bad.. realiased how much I miss her she is all happy and I am all sad

 

why...

[Kelley]

Really bad day for me today, it's being a struggle to motivate myself to do anything, really low. I have been through breakups before, but this is the first time I was lied to, cheated on, strung a long then told he was seeing the woman he cheated with me on! I'm finding it really hard to let go!! The thing is what can I do about it now?

 

I wish my head would just let it go, just accept it and move on. But no I find myself going over, and over. I think I'm going to find it hard to trust someone again after this, if I ever meet anyone again that is. Finding someone you can connect to, be yourself with, love with all your heart, I think it's hard to find. It took me a long time to find him (what a catch he turned out to be). Sorry for going on, just feeling rubbish. Even though it's a rubbish day tomorrow I will be a little bit stronger, the days will pass and the pain will ease ....

[RyanO1991]

Really bad day for me today, it's being a struggle to motivate myself to do anything, really low. I have been through breakups before, but this is the first time I was lied to, cheated on, strung a long then told he was seeing the woman he cheated with me on! I'm finding it really hard to let go!! The thing is what can I do about it now?

 

I wish my head would just let it go, just accept it and move on. But no I find myself going over, and over. I think I'm going to find it hard to trust someone again after this, if I ever meet anyone again that is. Finding someone you can connect to, be yourself with, love with all your heart, I think it's hard to find. It took me a long time to find him (what a catch he turned out to be). Sorry for going on, just feeling rubbish. Even though it's a rubbish day tomorrow I will be a little bit stronger, the days will pass and the pain will ease ....

 

Never apologise, Kelley. It's good to express how you feel - that's what we're all here for.

 

I feel exactly the same way as you - after having really good days and thinking the worst of it was over, it came crashing down again today. The future seems very bleak.

 

But we're healthy and we can do what we need to. We were alone before and it took us a while to find someone. But in it's own time, it will happen again and we've learnt from the pain.

[Kelley]

Thank you. Yes I have learned a lot from this relationship, I will have better boundaries next time for sure

 

 

Never apologise, Kelley. It's good to express how you feel - that's what we're all here for.

 

I feel exactly the same way as you - after having really good days and thinking the worst of it was over, it came crashing down again today. The future seems very bleak.

 

But we're healthy and we can do what we need to. We were alone before and it took us a while to find someone. But in it's own time, it will happen again and we've learnt from the pain.

[Logo]

Whenever I'm out with my single buddies, they try to hit on women and it just keeps taking me back to the good old days when I was with my ex-girlfriend and we were happy together. It makes me sad and then I just feel like I want to be alone. I need to socialize; I know that much.

 

Perhaps I need to hang out with strangers that share the same hobbies as I do.

 

I miss her today. She betrayed my trust and lied to me. But I still miss her.

 

Things got messy toward the end. One day she told me how much she loved me, the next day she was distant. Then she went and cheated. I keep playing the last month in my head over and over and wondering how things got to the point they did. We were so happy. It makes me sad thinking about how it's all gone and done with now. I wonder how she feels. I wonder if she feels the same way I do or if she's moved on with indifference, the way she acted on the last day we were together.

 

Listening to the song, "Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days....."

 

Does anyone have a time machine?

[RyanO1991]

Whenever I'm out with my single buddies, they try to hit on women and it just keeps taking me back to the good old days when I was with my ex-girlfriend and we were happy together. It makes me sad and then I just feel like I want to be alone. I need to socialize; I know that much.

 

Perhaps I need to hang out with strangers that share the same hobbies as I do.

 

I miss her today. She betrayed my trust and lied to me. But I still miss her.

 

Things got messy toward the end. One day she told me how much she loved me, the next day she was distant. Then she went and cheated. I keep playing the last month in my head over and over and wondering how things got to the point they did. We were so happy. It makes me sad thinking about how it's all gone and done with now. I wonder how she feels. I wonder if she feels the same way I do or if she's moved on with indifference, the way she acted on the last day we were together.

 

Listening to the song, "Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days....."

 

Does anyone have a time machine?

 

It's really hard. Sounds like you're a really strong person while still being human - that's a great way to be.

 

It takes time and a lot of bouncing back and forth. It's a lonely place to be but you're absolutely right about socialising. Sometimes we need to push ourselves into uncomfortable places to find what we need.

 

Stay strong and remember that you're worthy of someone very special who deserves your loyalty and love.

[NIGHT1985]

Whenever I'm out with my single buddies, they try to hit on women and it just keeps taking me back to the good old days when I was with my ex-girlfriend and we were happy together. It makes me sad and then I just feel like I want to be alone. I need to socialize; I know that much.

 

Perhaps I need to hang out with strangers that share the same hobbies as I do.

 

I miss her today. She betrayed my trust and lied to me. But I still miss her.

 

Things got messy toward the end. One day she told me how much she loved me, the next day she was distant. Then she went and cheated. I keep playing the last month in my head over and over and wondering how things got to the point they did. We were so happy. It makes me sad thinking about how it's all gone and done with now. I wonder how she feels. I wonder if she feels the same way I do or if she's moved on with indifference, the way she acted on the last day we were together.

 

Listening to the song, "Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days....."

 

Does anyone have a time machine?

 

I wish I had that time machine, just so I could show her how much more she meant to me.

 

But we can't live in the past, they're not coming back

 

 

M

[Logo]

It's really hard. Sounds like you're a really strong person while still being human - that's a great way to be.

 

It takes time and a lot of bouncing back and forth. It's a lonely place to be but you're absolutely right about socialising. Sometimes we need to push ourselves into uncomfortable places to find what we need.

 

Stay strong and remember that you're worthy of someone very special who deserves your loyalty and love.

 

She made me promises while being sweet and kind and then I found out that she lied.

 

Now I wonder how that experience is going to affect my next relationship.

[RyanO1991]

She made me promises while being sweet and kind and then I found out that she lied.

 

Now I wonder how that experience is going to affect my next relationship.

 

I know how you feel - someone who seems so sweet and kind who you trust implicitly turns around and throws everything you gave away.

 

I'll be honest, I feel very bitter and at the moment I'm cutting out the people in my life who I've supported and got little back from. They're dead to me.

 

But I also know that there are some amazing people out there - you only have to look at this forum to see how much genuine support there is.

 

We've been betrayed and had our trust completely abused, but when we meet the right person it wouldn't be fair to punish them for the despicable behaviour of the people who stabbed us through the heart.

 

It doesn't seem like it at the moment, but there is a future somewhere along the line.

Edited October 9, 2016 by RyanO1991

[Kelley]

It's been 7 days NC now, yes still counting, looking forward to when I just forget how many days it is! I'm really, really, really hating mornings at the moment, they are the worst But I have a plan in place, to get straight out of bed put my music on and do a mini body work out. I'm not really a morning go to the gym type person, I prefer evenings. I'm also not a fan of the gym, I like the outdoors prefer to go for a run, hike, walk my dog than the gym! Anyway so that is in place see if it can improve my mood, and the dread of mornings at the mo! Heart still heavy, stomach in knots and waking in the night, I know it takes time. I'm trying not to dwell on him being with her now and concentrate on me. It's just really consuming me the anger, that's not me. I'm letting it go and letting time do the rest ....

[justanickname]

Thought I was over you, though I got peace in heart, after all, it has been three months. It was stupid to accept you back as a friend. No, you didn't treat me as a special one nor a friend but way more than stranger with no respect to me. How did I let you treat me like that more than a few times? No, K, this time it is over. So ironic that for me this time it is hurt more than the previous time, when I recognize our base at the beginning was lost, too. I wish my close friend came back, but he is already gone.

[Bialy]

Heart still heavy, stomach in knots and waking in the night, I know it takes time ....

Ugh... that is the absolute worst I spent almost two months like that.

 

There will be a point where the good days will outweigh the bad days. When that starts to happen, you will start feeling like yourself more and more.

 

I remember the first day I woke up and felt OK. Not great, but OK. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[sherbmeister]

Today is one of them hard days man... It's been.. i dunno, I stopped tracking, but I think its been over a month of NC. I know for sure we broke up at the end of August but I initiated NC probably a month ago.. or more.. who knows, doesn't matter.

 

At first I explained to her that Ill have to unfriend all her friends/family and then her and then block her, but she got to it 1st and blocked me 1st so I couldn't block back.

 

Now.. last night I was browsing through my facebook photos and saw some of her comments, you can usually see the comments of the person you block on facebook, but you can't click on their name to see their profile.

 

Guess what? She unblocked me. Guess what stupid me did? Clicked on her profile. Guess what that did? made me sad as hell..

 

It's not that I saw her with someone, shes still apprently single but.. her pic was so nice, she changed her hair color, got a new tattoo next to the one we have matching on both of us... was dressed up really really nice, had great make up on, never seen her like that in our 4 year relationship

 

Seems like she is doing so good and I... I'm just posting here like a sorry POS. ugh, I hate this feeling so much, I want her back so bad! What a horrible day.

 

Yes... I proceeded to block her myself this time but the damage is back. It's so weird, just by looking at one simple pic, all your emotions come back, I can't even imagine how sad I'd be seeing her in a pic with a new bf or something like that. Jesus...

[DarrenB]

So, out of the blue I've been given a heads up from my sister and a couple of my ex's relatives that I should try once more. To proclaim my love and forgiveness to her, and her parents. Of course, I was quite skeptical as 'why would this happen out of absolutely nowhere?' but maybe it is a sense of fate? or some brutal prank. There's been alot of re-repercussions since, so I'm still slightly skeptical, but now I have to try again. I'm hoping it's the first option.

 

I'm about to finish my shift, go home, change, buy a nice bouquet (or maybe 3 bouquets) of nice flowers, and make my way to hers in a last attempt. Bare in mind the last time she contacted me was mid September, the last time I saw her or spoke to her parents in real time was late August.

 

This is either going to turn out incredibly wrong or work in my favour. As a last ditch attempt, I do not really care. Am I worried? yes. Am I scared? heck yes. Am I ready? partially.

 

Godspeed.

[sherbmeister]

So, out of the blue I've been given a heads up from my sister and a couple of my ex's relatives that I should try once more. To proclaim my love and forgiveness to her, and her parents. Of course, I was quite skeptical as 'why would this happen out of absolutely nowhere?' but maybe it is a sense of fate? or some brutal prank. There's been alot of re-repercussions since, so I'm still slightly skeptical, but now I have to try again. I'm hoping it's the first option.

 

I'm about to finish my shift, go home, change, buy a nice bouquet (or maybe 3 bouquets) of nice flowers, and make my way to hers in a last attempt. Bare in mind the last time she contacted me was mid September, the last time I saw her or spoke to her parents in real time was late August.

 

This is either going to turn out incredibly wrong or work in my favour. As a last ditch attempt, I do not really care. Am I worried? yes. Am I scared? heck yes. Am I ready? partially.

 

Godspeed.

 

Normally I'd say its a bad idea and to not do this. But I know that no matter what we say, you'll do this. So, good luck and hope you get something out of this. Please return here and tell us how it went? good or bad! Good luck brother!

[RyanO1991]

It's been 7 days NC now, yes still counting, looking forward to when I just forget how many days it is! I'm really, really, really hating mornings at the moment, they are the worst But I have a plan in place, to get straight out of bed put my music on and do a mini body work out. I'm not really a morning go to the gym type person, I prefer evenings. I'm also not a fan of the gym, I like the outdoors prefer to go for a run, hike, walk my dog than the gym! Anyway so that is in place see if it can improve my mood, and the dread of mornings at the mo! Heart still heavy, stomach in knots and waking in the night, I know it takes time. I'm trying not to dwell on him being with her now and concentrate on me. It's just really consuming me the anger, that's not me. I'm letting it go and letting time do the rest ....

 

Good luck, Kelley. A workout can really help. Hope it works for you.

[DarrenB]

Normally I'd say its a bad idea and to not do this. But I know that no matter what we say, you'll do this. So, good luck and hope you get something out of this. Please return here and tell us how it went? good or bad! Good luck brother!

 

I totally agree with you. Normally I wouldn't have considered actually thinking about it - let alone putting thoughts and words into action/s. But, I know that if I do not, I may or may not regret an opportunity for a potential future with her. I simply cannot risk that loss completely, if there even is a chance. It's been over 50 days, it's worth to see if anything has changed. If not, then I must take that as a plain and simple life lesson to never go back once abandoned.

 

I hope so too. Thanks for the acknowledgement man. I shall do!

Edited October 10, 2016 by DarrenB

[DarrenB]

Personally, I'm known for my endless explaining and perpetual conclusions and texts, so I'm going to attempt to make this as lengthy but as logical as possible.

 

So earlier on today, I was given the (very minor) hope that I would be able to re-kindle things with my ex, after 60 days of minor contact and neglect. This came from my own sister and my ex's relatives, of whom got in contact a week ago in regards to a 'second chance' as you could or may put it. During this 60 days, I had contacted her multiple times in the earlier period of the b/u, she had contacted me multiple times a few weeks later, around a month into the B/U.

 

Now at the time of hearing this, I was overwhelmed, confused but intrigued and excited at this opportunity which I had been waiting for ever since breaking up with her mid-August. The one thing that struck my mind during this though, was 'why wouldn't they just contact me themselves if this was actually the case?'. Obviously, me being absolutely infatuated with this girl, I didn't even bother thinking about the repercussions and negatives that may arise.

 

I come home from work, knackered as always. I get changed, I buy a set of quality bouquet's of flowers. Lovely smell, and looked great; they were the ones she especially liked as I would often get her these on random occasions after I had finished work to see her. I make my way to hers and proceed to ready myself for explaining and essentially to pour my heart out.

 

Now, what was I greeted with? nothing. I knocked, no answer. Confused I was, rang the doorbell, no reply. I wait outside the door a few more moments to see if anyone was actually in at this time, there was and before I knew it the door flew open with her father there, intensely looking at me. Yep you guessed it, I was greeted with verbal abuse. He had forced me to step away from the door, I proceeded to do so and went a few feet back. He confronted me about why they thought I'd actually come, I replied 'I was asked to give it another shot, is this not true?', he replied 'yes, but why would you actually do so?'. I proceeded to exclaim my everlasting care and love for my ex, lets name her, Skye. He had told me 'but she doesn't love you, she is younger than you, why would you come all this way?'. Now I was confused.

 

After explaining myself on multiple occasions within a 10 minute period, I saw her through the upstairs window, she looked at me glumly whilst I was being lectured by her father, still, as to why I came all this way again for her. After a few moments, she dissapeared and shut her window. He proceeded to tell me and I quote 'nothing has changed.', of course I had to ask him why, why was the situation like this, why had they neglected me when I needed them, why had they given me no explanations, why they couldn't tell me what I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. Nothing. He said nothing and continued looking at me intensely. He repeatedly kept telling me nothing had changed, and he assures if I ever try to contact her to reconcile with her, he would get the police involved and press charges on me. Ofcourse, I was so shocked. I was with this girl for 2 years, they had given me their blessing/s. I had asked why? why would you let me give my absolute best effort and love and care for her? if you were going to be like this in the end? why would you do such a thing? why had things turned so different? why are you being like this? he said nothing, he had told me to 'f*** off or I will call the police to collect you'. I leave the cul-de-sac, as demotivated and as hurt as I could have ever imagined. I had also found at that she has gone back to her previous, bad ways (that of a very naive, and troublesome young teen). She has gone back to the ways she had never wanted to go to again. Well, that's what she had told me and promised me so often whilst being with me.

 

So, half an hour later, I am now home. I don't want to talk about how I am, I feel s***. I feel as s*** as I did the past 60 days. I loved her, I still do. I don't understand how someone could turn so... different. Throughout her time with me, she had improved with her friends, she had stepped away from people who made her feel so worthless, she improved in her grades and seemed so much happier with me. All of a sudden? has turned to the complete opposite. Why would they all leave me with no real explanation?

 

For any of you, hoping that a second chance to reconcile with a previous lover, there is no hope, unless it's properly from their own consent. If it's not fully 100% from their behalf, it is not worth you even considering it. When you love someone, you must expect the same amount of love and effort as you put in. No-one is worth it otherwise. I hope that you people that are currently in a similar situation, recover well and get back out there. Don't do a me, don't question your self-worth, don't question your existence, over someone who never even truly loved you. Damn. This hurts. Back to square one.

 

Godspeed. - A broken man.

Edited October 10, 2016 by DarrenB

[RyanO1991]

Personally, I'm known for my endless explaining and perpetual conclusions and texts, so I'm going to attempt to make this as lengthy but as logical as possible.

 

So earlier on today, I was given the (very minor) hope that I would be able to re-kindle things with my ex, after 60 days of minor contact and neglect. This came from my own sister and my ex's relatives, of whom got in contact a week ago in regards to a 'second chance' as you could or may put it. During this 60 days, I had contacted her multiple times in the earlier period of the b/u, she had contacted me multiple times a few weeks later, around a month into the B/U.

 

Now at the time of hearing this, I was overwhelmed, confused but intrigued and excited at this opportunity which I had been waiting for ever since breaking up with her mid-August. The one thing that struck my mind during this though, was 'why wouldn't they just contact me themselves if this was actually the case?'. Obviously, me being absolutely infatuated with this girl, I didn't even bother thinking about the repercussions and negatives that may arise.

 

I come home from work, knackered as always. I get changed, I buy a set of quality bouquet's of flowers. Lovely smell, and looked great; they were the ones she especially liked as I would often get her these on random occasions after I had finished work to see her. I make my way to hers and proceed to ready myself for explaining and essentially to pour my heart out.

 

Now, what was I greeted with? nothing. I knocked, no answer. Confused I was, rang the doorbell, no reply. I wait outside the door a few more moments to see if anyone was actually in at this time, there was and before I knew it the door flew open with her father there, intensely looking at me. Yep you guessed it, I was greeted with verbal abuse. He had forced me to step away from the door, I proceeded to do so and went a few feet back. He confronted me about why they thought I'd actually come, I replied 'I was asked to give it another shot, is this not true?', he replied 'yes, but why would you actually do so?'. I proceeded to exclaim my everlasting care and love for my ex, lets name her, Skye. He had told me 'but she doesn't love you, she is younger than you, why would you come all this way?'. Now I was confused.

 

After explaining myself on multiple occasions within a 10 minute period, I saw her through the upstairs window, she looked at me glumly whilst I was being lectured by her father, still, as to why I came all this way again for her. After a few moments, she dissapeared and shut her window. He proceeded to tell me and I quote 'nothing has changed.', of course I had to ask him why, why was the situation like this, why had they neglected me when I needed them, why had they given me no explanations, why they couldn't tell me what I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. Nothing. He said nothing and continued looking at me intensely. He repeatedly kept telling me nothing had changed, and he assures if I ever try to contact her to reconcile with her, he would get the police involved and press charges on me. Ofcourse, I was so shocked. I was with this girl for 2 years, they had given me their blessing/s. I had asked why? why would you let me give my absolute best effort and love and care for her? if you were going to be like this in the end? why would you do such a thing? why had things turned so different? why are you being like this? he said nothing, he had told me to 'f*** off or I will call the police to collect you'. I leave the cul-de-sac, as demotivated and as hurt as I could have ever imagined. I had also found at that she has gone back to her previous, bad ways (that of a very naive, and troublesome young teen). She has gone back to the ways she had never wanted to go to again. Well, that's what she had told me and promised me so often whilst being with me.

 

So, half an hour later, I am now home. I don't want to talk about how I am, I feel s***. I feel as s*** as I did the past 60 days. I loved her, I still do. I don't understand how someone could turn so... different. Throughout her time with me, she had improved with her friends, she had stepped away from people who made her feel so worthless, she improved in her grades and seemed so much happier with me. All of a sudden? has turned to the complete opposite. Why would they all leave me with no real explanation?

 

For any of you, hoping that a second chance to reconcile with a previous lover, there is no hope, unless it's properly from their own consent. If it's not fully 100% from their behalf, it is not worth you even considering it. When you love someone, you must expect the same amount of love and effort as you put in. No-one is worth it otherwise. I hope that you people that are currently in a similar situation, recover well and get back out there. Don't do a me, don't question your self-worth, don't question your existence, over someone who never even truly loved you. Damn. This hurts. Back to square one.

 

Godspeed. - A broken man.

 

I'm genuinely gutted to hear this. I really hoped it would work out for you.

 

At least you know you gave it everything, and if your ex's family ask why it didn't work out then you can tell them exactly what happened and how hard you tried.

 

It takes a lot of courage to do what you did. Be proud.

 

She's on track to ruining her life. She deserves to ruin it. You deserve much better.

 

Well done for being brave.

[Deadmeat]

Personally, I'm known for my endless explaining and perpetual conclusions and texts, so I'm going to attempt to make this as lengthy but as logical as possible.

 

So earlier on today, I was given the (very minor) hope that I would be able to re-kindle things with my ex, after 60 days of minor contact and neglect. This came from my own sister and my ex's relatives, of whom got in contact a week ago in regards to a 'second chance' as you could or may put it. During this 60 days, I had contacted her multiple times in the earlier period of the b/u, she had contacted me multiple times a few weeks later, around a month into the B/U.

 

Now at the time of hearing this, I was overwhelmed, confused but intrigued and excited at this opportunity which I had been waiting for ever since breaking up with her mid-August. The one thing that struck my mind during this though, was 'why wouldn't they just contact me themselves if this was actually the case?'. Obviously, me being absolutely infatuated with this girl, I didn't even bother thinking about the repercussions and negatives that may arise.

 

I come home from work, knackered as always. I get changed, I buy a set of quality bouquet's of flowers. Lovely smell, and looked great; they were the ones she especially liked as I would often get her these on random occasions after I had finished work to see her. I make my way to hers and proceed to ready myself for explaining and essentially to pour my heart out.

 

Now, what was I greeted with? nothing. I knocked, no answer. Confused I was, rang the doorbell, no reply. I wait outside the door a few more moments to see if anyone was actually in at this time, there was and before I knew it the door flew open with her father there, intensely looking at me. Yep you guessed it, I was greeted with verbal abuse. He had forced me to step away from the door, I proceeded to do so and went a few feet back. He confronted me about why they thought I'd actually come, I replied 'I was asked to give it another shot, is this not true?', he replied 'yes, but why would you actually do so?'. I proceeded to exclaim my everlasting care and love for my ex, lets name her, Skye. He had told me 'but she doesn't love you, she is younger than you, why would you come all this way?'. Now I was confused.

 

After explaining myself on multiple occasions within a 10 minute period, I saw her through the upstairs window, she looked at me glumly whilst I was being lectured by her father, still, as to why I came all this way again for her. After a few moments, she dissapeared and shut her window. He proceeded to tell me and I quote 'nothing has changed.', of course I had to ask him why, why was the situation like this, why had they neglected me when I needed them, why had they given me no explanations, why they couldn't tell me what I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. Nothing. He said nothing and continued looking at me intensely. He repeatedly kept telling me nothing had changed, and he assures if I ever try to contact her to reconcile with her, he would get the police involved and press charges on me. Ofcourse, I was so shocked. I was with this girl for 2 years, they had given me their blessing/s. I had asked why? why would you let me give my absolute best effort and love and care for her? if you were going to be like this in the end? why would you do such a thing? why had things turned so different? why are you being like this? he said nothing, he had told me to 'f*** off or I will call the police to collect you'. I leave the cul-de-sac, as demotivated and as hurt as I could have ever imagined. I had also found at that she has gone back to her previous, bad ways (that of a very naive, and troublesome young teen). She has gone back to the ways she had never wanted to go to again. Well, that's what she had told me and promised me so often whilst being with me.

 

So, half an hour later, I am now home. I don't want to talk about how I am, I feel s***. I feel as s*** as I did the past 60 days. I loved her, I still do. I don't understand how someone could turn so... different. Throughout her time with me, she had improved with her friends, she had stepped away from people who made her feel so worthless, she improved in her grades and seemed so much happier with me. All of a sudden? has turned to the complete opposite. Why would they all leave me with no real explanation?

 

For any of you, hoping that a second chance to reconcile with a previous lover, there is no hope, unless it's properly from their own consent. If it's not fully 100% from their behalf, it is not worth you even considering it. When you love someone, you must expect the same amount of love and effort as you put in. No-one is worth it otherwise. I hope that you people that are currently in a similar situation, recover well and get back out there. Don't do a me, don't question your self-worth, don't question your existence, over someone who never even truly loved you. Damn. This hurts. Back to square one.

 

Godspeed. - A broken man.

 

Brother, I feel for you. I did the same thing. Although, I went to her workplace and was greeted with ignorance and was asked to leave. I KNOW the feeling. I remember my thought processes. I thought a grand romantic gesture would do it. I had justified to myself that my actions would be genuine. I even told myself that if this didn't pan out, I would be done. I didn't even get a chance to speak to her because she ran away to the back.

 

You will be okay friend. As you say, take this as a learning lesson. If there is ever a chance (and this is a big IF), it must be under her own accord. You hAve absolutely 0 things to do with this relationship now. On one hand, it is ****ty to think that we have no control. On the other, it can be the most liberating thing. There is absolutely nothing you can do now but work on yourself.

 

Things will get better with time. I am not there yet but my heart is lighter. It's been about 2 months for me. You can only truly heal once you've truly accepted the end of the relationship.

 

As you say - god speed friend.

[Blastoplast]

Almost 3 weeks in NC, I'm feeling pretty darn good. Yes, I still have some heartache, yes I still think about my EX, yes I'm still resentful of her. But you know what? I realize I did nothing wrong and some people will never be happy, no matter what you do for them or who they're with.

[sherbmeister]

Personally, I'm known for my endless explaining and perpetual conclusions and texts, so I'm going to attempt to make this as lengthy but as logical as possible.

 

So earlier on today, I was given the (very minor) hope that I would be able to re-kindle things with my ex, after 60 days of minor contact and neglect. This came from my own sister and my ex's relatives, of whom got in contact a week ago in regards to a 'second chance' as you could or may put it. During this 60 days, I had contacted her multiple times in the earlier period of the b/u, she had contacted me multiple times a few weeks later, around a month into the B/U.

 

Now at the time of hearing this, I was overwhelmed, confused but intrigued and excited at this opportunity which I had been waiting for ever since breaking up with her mid-August. The one thing that struck my mind during this though, was 'why wouldn't they just contact me themselves if this was actually the case?'. Obviously, me being absolutely infatuated with this girl, I didn't even bother thinking about the repercussions and negatives that may arise.

 

I come home from work, knackered as always. I get changed, I buy a set of quality bouquet's of flowers. Lovely smell, and looked great; they were the ones she especially liked as I would often get her these on random occasions after I had finished work to see her. I make my way to hers and proceed to ready myself for explaining and essentially to pour my heart out.

 

Now, what was I greeted with? nothing. I knocked, no answer. Confused I was, rang the doorbell, no reply. I wait outside the door a few more moments to see if anyone was actually in at this time, there was and before I knew it the door flew open with her father there, intensely looking at me. Yep you guessed it, I was greeted with verbal abuse. He had forced me to step away from the door, I proceeded to do so and went a few feet back. He confronted me about why they thought I'd actually come, I replied 'I was asked to give it another shot, is this not true?', he replied 'yes, but why would you actually do so?'. I proceeded to exclaim my everlasting care and love for my ex, lets name her, Skye. He had told me 'but she doesn't love you, she is younger than you, why would you come all this way?'. Now I was confused.

 

After explaining myself on multiple occasions within a 10 minute period, I saw her through the upstairs window, she looked at me glumly whilst I was being lectured by her father, still, as to why I came all this way again for her. After a few moments, she dissapeared and shut her window. He proceeded to tell me and I quote 'nothing has changed.', of course I had to ask him why, why was the situation like this, why had they neglected me when I needed them, why had they given me no explanations, why they couldn't tell me what I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. Nothing. He said nothing and continued looking at me intensely. He repeatedly kept telling me nothing had changed, and he assures if I ever try to contact her to reconcile with her, he would get the police involved and press charges on me. Ofcourse, I was so shocked. I was with this girl for 2 years, they had given me their blessing/s. I had asked why? why would you let me give my absolute best effort and love and care for her? if you were going to be like this in the end? why would you do such a thing? why had things turned so different? why are you being like this? he said nothing, he had told me to 'f*** off or I will call the police to collect you'. I leave the cul-de-sac, as demotivated and as hurt as I could have ever imagined. I had also found at that she has gone back to her previous, bad ways (that of a very naive, and troublesome young teen). She has gone back to the ways she had never wanted to go to again. Well, that's what she had told me and promised me so often whilst being with me.

 

So, half an hour later, I am now home. I don't want to talk about how I am, I feel s***. I feel as s*** as I did the past 60 days. I loved her, I still do. I don't understand how someone could turn so... different. Throughout her time with me, she had improved with her friends, she had stepped away from people who made her feel so worthless, she improved in her grades and seemed so much happier with me. All of a sudden? has turned to the complete opposite. Why would they all leave me with no real explanation?

 

For any of you, hoping that a second chance to reconcile with a previous lover, there is no hope, unless it's properly from their own consent. If it's not fully 100% from their behalf, it is not worth you even considering it. When you love someone, you must expect the same amount of love and effort as you put in. No-one is worth it otherwise. I hope that you people that are currently in a similar situation, recover well and get back out there. Don't do a me, don't question your self-worth, don't question your existence, over someone who never even truly loved you. Damn. This hurts. Back to square one.

 

Godspeed. - A broken man.

 

Hey man, thanks for coming back and posting your story. I'm very sorry to hear about your misfortune... You seem like a pretty good guy.. listen, just take this as a life's lesson, never do this mistake again and focus on getting "the actual" one.

 

Work on it, work on yourself. I'm in pain too, everyday, I go to sleep thinking about her, I dream about her and I wake up thinking about her, I pick up my phone and check if she texted me anything, then I go to my computer and check my facebook and my emails, in hopes she sent me any sign. Of course, nothing happens everyday, I'm sure most of you can see the pattern here as we all go through the same sh*t.

 

However, I will NEVER contact her, I initiated No contact in the hopes of me getting better and in the hopes of maybe her missing me and contacting me herself to reconcile, giving her straight intentions like "never contact me if you're not serious about getting back toggether". As much as it hurt, it's the right thing to do. NEVER break no contact, NEVER. It will break you so hard and you'll be worthless for another few months if you do so.

 

Hang in there man, you're a good guy, I know you love her now, but you'll be fine in a few years when you find another love, maybe a better love. I hope so for myself too.

 

Be positive and stay strong! Peace!

[Deadmeat]

I told myself that I would not come back here and that I would not check her social media. I broke the social media yesterday and this one today.

 

Nothing had changed. I believe she is still single and her dating profile change.descriptions a bit but it is still kept hidden.

 

I heard a song today that said, "we don't talk anymore like we used to do". That made me break down and I had to go to the back. At this point, I just miss her companionship and friendship. We were each other's best friends and I can't even call her up to tell her about this new song I heard. That makes my heart ache like no other.

[Wuku]

Feeling better these last couple of weeks. I've even listened to "our song", without any problem, although I had had a few drinks! I think I'm moving to a new stage of the process. I've been feeling angry recently. I know I caused hurt for her, and I tried everything in my power to make up for that, but how the last few months went was unfair on me. The one thing hampering my progress at the moment is dreams of her. Luckily it's not every night, but when it does happen it really leaves its mark on me for the rest of that day. Happened last night, and I've been missing her, feeling lonely and down a bit today. I should be better tomorrow, as long as I don't dream we are still together again tonight. Apart from that, I'm beginning to feel a bit more indifferent to us being over, and don't think as much about what she might be doing now either. I'm getting tired of it all now, it has been exhausting. I know I've got further to go to be completely over it all, but I feel I'm a few steps closer to that goal.

Edited October 11, 2016 by Wuku