VeveCakes Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Having a rough morning. I had a dream about my ex last night. I have read so much of people dreaming about them but it never happened to me until now. We went to a party and he walked behind me, put his hands on me and pulled me back to him. He was holding me and kissing me and calling me his girlfriend. It was a harsh reality when I woke up. He had been messaging me a lot every day and I caved and was talking to him. I just re blocked him two days ago because he was saying he was going to come see me for my birthday but wouldn't give me a concrete date. I figured he was just messing with me. I need to get away for good....it's just so hard when I miss him so much.
Kelley Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 I was hoping for a better day after yesterday, but on the rollercoaster of emotions! On the verge of tears one minute, coping, then angry. I keep replaying everything in my head it's just crazy at the moment! Has anyone watched the brain in love by Helen Fisher it's a talk on TED It makes a little more sense why we go through so much pain. If you get 4 mins take a look. To all of us hurting, one day at a time, hurt, bleed, heal, move on.
Blastoplast Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Today is a rough one again... I drove past my EXs & my favorite bar/restaurant last night after hanging out with a friend and saw her car out front. I know she's just hanging out with her cousin, but it made me angry and jealous. She has this platonic guy friend as well and it got me thinking what if he's there hanging out with them as well? Just stupid, stupid thoughts. I know she's struggling with this as well, as this is still pretty fresh. It's making me wonder how much is she thinking about me? Does she miss me as much as I miss her? We're getting close to 2 weeks of NC but I want to reach out to her so bad right now, just after seeing her car... 2
Bialy Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Too soon. Don't reach out to her. Stay strong. If you need to write to her, leave a note in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/556556-no-contact-support-thread-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex-33.html
RyanO1991 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Today is a rough one again... I drove past my EXs & my favorite bar/restaurant last night after hanging out with a friend and saw her car out front. I know she's just hanging out with her cousin, but it made me angry and jealous. She has this platonic guy friend as well and it got me thinking what if he's there hanging out with them as well? Just stupid, stupid thoughts. I know she's struggling with this as well, as this is still pretty fresh. It's making me wonder how much is she thinking about me? Does she miss me as much as I miss her? We're getting close to 2 weeks of NC but I want to reach out to her so bad right now, just after seeing her car... If it helps, I went through exactly the same thing a while back - wondering what she was doing and with who she was doing it, mourning when I violated places we want together - and I thought I'd never get over it. But I really don't care now. It's like that was a different life. Stay strong. It will take a while and some toing and froing, but it will get easier. 2
Blastoplast Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Thanks guys. I didn't think this break-up would hit me so hard. I'm just dreading the day I bump in to her, it's inevitable. 2
DarrenB Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Thanks guys. I didn't think this break-up would hit me so hard. I'm just dreading the day I bump in to her, it's inevitable. Optimism, my friend. I'm sure with time, there will be change... in the both of you for that matter. Who knows, by the time you both randomly bump into each other again, you'll barely notice each other; like two completely different (changed) people meeting again. Your heart and mind will heal. Your memories and times of sorrow and angst will be over, you will soon be occupied with positivity and maybe even a new love :-)
DarrenB Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Currently just gone 7pm here in the UK. It's a Friday night, so might take my emotions for a slight spin and re-visit on my own to some places where me and the ex used to once go relatively often. For some strange reason, it compels me completely, but it also eases my mind and heart for the time being. It's the aftermath that hurts more but it's always nice to reminisce.
Bialy Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 An interesting trip down memory lane, Darren. This might be a way for you to reclaim these spots emotionally. Or, maybe to simply view them as locations of distant memories --- with time.
DarrenB Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 An interesting trip down memory lane, Darren. This might be a way for you to reclaim these spots emotionally. Or, maybe to simply view them as locations of distant memories --- with time. It really does give me insane amounts of clarity and closure, however an awful lot of sadness... I also listen to our favorite music whilst doing this... it's overwhelming but like I say gives me some emotional-preservation. What a way to spend a Friday night hey? did this the past 2 weeks also. Hope you're having a good Friday night!
Bialy Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Ahhhh. You're torturing yourself! Go easy on your strolls down memory lane. It's 3:45pm here. Still at work for another 15 minutes. I have a 3-day weekend, thanks to the federal holiday on Monday. Soooooooo much laundry to do.
Bialy Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 Lots of rain expected tomorrow. Residual rain from the hurricane. I don't live in an affected state, thankfully.
NIGHT1985 Posted October 7, 2016 Posted October 7, 2016 What just happened? I met up with a girl from tinder, who was out drinking with her friends, guess what? I had a blast! We explored some of this new city(Louisville) and went pub hopping, and I never thought of my ex, or compared this girl to my ex. I ended up taking all 3 of them back to her house, and me and her made out for a bit. It was fantastic. I don't know if I'll hear from this girl again, but I do know I felt alive again, it may only last a little bit, but I know there is hope and potential for me. I'm heavily considering relocating here, after my work trip is done. It's liberating being away from all the memories of my ex, and this city has so much life and potential to it 6
countryfeedback Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 People scare me, you never know what's actually going thru their head. Got confirmation that my ex has alters and what I've been dealing with these past few weeks was her having a breakdown. I feel so violated, I lost my job and what was left of my sanity. I hope my insurance covers mental health. What's even sadder is that those in the know enable her out of fear that she'll hurt herself, I feel bad for her.
TooRational Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Feeling depressed tonight alone on a Friday night. My breakup is 4 months ago now, NC for most of that time but for some reason I'm thinking way more about my ex in the past two weeks. This is partly what is making me depressed. I'm really struggling to let go of any hope of getting back together. She left the door slightly open to that possibility when we broke up, which makes things hard for me. We stayed in contact for two weeks after the breakup and I would always see little signs of hope that would drive me crazy. I had to go NC because I was going insane with all the breadcrumbs. When is it gonna get better? Part of me wants to break NC. Maybe I'll find out that she has a boyfriend now and that will make it easier for me to let go of any hope, wouldn't it?
Deadmeat Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 It really does give me insane amounts of clarity and closure, however an awful lot of sadness... I also listen to our favorite music whilst doing this... it's overwhelming but like I say gives me some emotional-preservation. What a way to spend a Friday night hey? did this the past 2 weeks also. Hope you're having a good Friday night! A wise man once told me that going back there isn't the best idea. 1
Logo Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Today I drifted back and forth from loathing her for ruining things for us to missing the good times we had, missing her touch, her smile, her eyes. I'm still comparing other women I see to her. I look at them to see if their eyes and smile can make me feel the same way. I suppose I'm not ready yet. Another month, perhaps? I keep comparing the early days with the last days and my heart aches. It makes me sad. Everywhere I go, I see us. That street where we kissed, that restaurant where we held hands and stared into each others' eyes with love and admiration and on and on.... It's been a month, but she seems like a distant memory now. I try to keep busy. The pain is fading away, but I'm still angry at how things turned out, how she so recklessly went and cheated, how cold and distant she was when we parted ways. A stranger.
Kelley Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Trust me finding out they have replaced you burns you up inside, even if you think it will just help you move on. Sometimes you are best just not knowing. Don't do it to yourself, carry on you are doing fine. Remember the journey is hilly with ups and downs, it's just down at the mo, it will go back up. Feeling depressed tonight alone on a Friday night. My breakup is 4 months ago now, NC for most of that time but for some reason I'm thinking way more about my ex in the past two weeks. This is partly what is making me depressed. I'm really struggling to let go of any hope of getting back together. She left the door slightly open to that possibility when we broke up, which makes things hard for me. We stayed in contact for two weeks after the breakup and I would always see little signs of hope that would drive me crazy. I had to go NC because I was going insane with all the breadcrumbs. When is it gonna get better? Part of me wants to break NC. Maybe I'll find out that she has a boyfriend now and that will make it easier for me to let go of any hope, wouldn't it? 1
Kelley Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Why are mornings always the worst? For a few seconds all is good in the world and then it crashes down, the pain reappears the loss of that person you love. He has moved on and he is not going through this pain. He wakes up next to her, I wake up alone. But I have a good day planned driving to the coast for a long walk with my dog. Get away for the day and hopefully the memories will stay here and not come with me! 1
Pete2304 Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Why are mornings always the worst? For a few seconds all is good in the world and then it crashes down, the pain reappears the loss of that person you love. He has moved on and he is not going through this pain. He wakes up next to her, I wake up alone. But I have a good day planned driving to the coast for a long walk with my dog. Get away for the day and hopefully the memories will stay here and not come with me! I understand, every single morning I wake up feeling like I've had this awful nightmare about the woman I love being a liar and a cheat and that she's spent last night with someone else. Then it hits. Again and again, day after day and it breaks my heart just as much three months later as it did the first day. But, I also find that getting out is the way forward. I jump in the shower, stick the radio on loud and 20 minutes later when I'm walking out of the front door, I at least feel ready to face the world with a smile (well ish)! The memories will go with you because you will just think what if he was here, how much better would this be but I've tried to make a few little changes like drinking in a different pub, eating at new places just to try and make little bits of a new start. 1
DarrenB Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 (edited) Anger. Frustration. Infuriated. A mutual friend of myself and the ex decided to message me out of the blue asking me a question in regards to her... proceeds to ask me 'do you know where she is going next month?' I reply 'No? not a clue, why should it matter anyway?'. He proceeds to tell me that she is going to a gig at O2 Academy in either London or Leeds with someone of whom I knew very vaguely; he was a previous school band member of hers. I know this shouldn't really matter, but in regards to what herself and her family had promised... I never expected this. There is a backstory also... Now, I come to alot of conclusions... Whilst I attended this 'Battle of the Bands' event at her school/college back in April. During the event, the two would always go backstage, whilst they were talking, she would always look at me cautiously whilst doing so from afar. Recently, when we broke up a month 1/2 ago I had asked her multiple times 'Was/Is there someone else?' she ignored the question each time. Why does it anger me? do I have every right to be so furiously upset and mad? Is it because she potentially had me on the strings whilst with this other guy? or is it the fact that her and her family began ignoring me because they were and are trying to so desperately hide it from me. Or is it because I've been used as a sideline to someone and she was too afraid to break it off with me whilst potentially being with someone else. It's all making perfect sense now. Now I feel completely set back, revenge or not to? I say no, for now. Hurt and confused is a huge understatement. I hope for people's sake this is not true. I want to know the truth damn it. Edited October 8, 2016 by DarrenB
Logo Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Having had some time to process the relationship and the milestones where the relationship turned a corner for the worst each time, and with some additional information that I have, I have come to the conclusion that my ex was a manipulating, lying w***e. I'm beating myself up for having tried to fix things even when the truth stared me in the eyes and she was using me. She wasn't into the relationship. She wanted something fun, exciting and on her terms. B***h.
NIGHT1985 Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Told myself I wouldn't, but I'm falling right back down. What the hell is wrong with me? Don't I deserve some happiness? Some peace and solitude away from this pain. I wish there was an antidepressant that did the following Turn of all needs for companionship with others Turn of all needs for intimacy or touch Make me happy whiteout having needs of anything or anyone except food and water
Kelley Posted October 8, 2016 Posted October 8, 2016 Move to Louisville, you need a clean start life is too short!
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