Bialy Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 Worse yet, I keep wondering, what does his new girlfriend see in him? But then, she will find out sooner than later that there is nothing in it for her either. My only consolation is that I think my ex is back on his anti-anxiety medication. And if that's the case - his fiancée is in for a moody ride. Actually, my other consolation is that his hyperbole has finally gotten the best of him. He's heavily involved with a woman who has taken him at his word... And he has had to live up to his exaggerations, hence the $808k house, furnishings for the house, and last week he easily spent $5000 on a ring. I live with a clear conscious - I never took advantage of him financially.
SixxChick Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 My only consolation is that I think my ex is back on his anti-anxiety medication. And if that's the case - his fiancée is in for a moody ride. Actually, my other consolation is that his hyperbole has finally gotten the best of him. He's heavily involved with a woman who has taken him at his word... And he has had to live up to his exaggerations, hence the $808k house, furnishings for the house, and last week he easily spent $5000 on a ring. I live with a clear conscious - I never took advantage of him financially. It's funny you mention this. I'm pretty sure my ex is OFF of his anti-anxiety meds because he cannot afford it. And he lives with a clear conscious even though he took advantage of me financially. That's just the kind of jackass that he is. Ah ... it sounds like we are both better off without them! It doesn't mean we didn't care. I wish you peace. 1
victimsoflove Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 (edited) Has anybody here met their twin soul/ twin flame (ultimate soulmate)? At the time we met I didn't know the word twin soul! So, I didn't know he was my twin soul, but I felt his energy was so intense and a match to my energy! I know he felt the same! We didn't need words to communicate, one look and our hearts do the talk! He was so me, and I noticed I am like him! Felt unconditional love like never before with anyone and felt heaven whenever he's around or just by thinking about him. Also felt hate upon him because I saw my weaknesses in him. He is my ultimate mirror and... I didn't know that a love like that could exist! I thought it would be like fairy tale...heavenly feels..but whenever my past issues, insecurities, wounds were being triggered, I would avoid bumping into him! But the universe kept us bumping to each other.! A lot of confusion came to me! It was heaven and hell feeling at the same time! Became too unbearable to handle so i decided to walk away from him, trying to forget abt him. But damn I couldn't! Why oh why?(because he was me, my other self). I went into soul shock(super heartbreak)! I wanted to go back to him but I don't want to at the same time. I knew we were not just soulmates! Then, finally, I saw the article about twin soul/ twin flame and got enlightened to what my journey is all about and from there I started to heal! Edited September 28, 2016 by victimsoflove
WellHelloThere Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 I think about what she said vs what she did. She said a lot and did little. Do I want to be with someone who I can't believe or who's actions deliver very little? No. Because someone who really wants something will do something about it.
Logo Posted September 28, 2016 Posted September 28, 2016 Coming up on 3 weeks and I'm having a tough time coming to terms with the fact that it's over. A part of me refuses to accept that and I miss her despite the fact she hurt me in the end.
Bialy Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 Today was actually a good day. 9 months since we have been in a relationship gray area. October 1 will be one solid month of NC. 1
sooshi Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I'm happy for you, Bialy. Great job with the NC! I hope you are well. <3 1
Bialy Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I'm happy for you, Bialy. Great job with the NC! I hope you are well. <3 One day at a time! I really like today - I feel a sense of calm and peace. 1
DarrenB Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 In-denial with hints of determination and pessimism. I want her back, but it looks more unlikely as each day passes. Let's just hope stupidity does not overcome me 1
topher Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I'm being consumed by loneliness It's cool, man. Shoot some hoops or whatever. Get out of your mind state. Change the subject, you know? Or meet it head on and really feel that loneliness. Sit there with it. But don't start to judge or qualify it. Just let it stew a bit and observe what's going on. That's what works for me when I feel overwhelmed. I like to press pause and chew on it for a minute so I can ask myself questions like, "What's this really about?" And often I don't know. I feel what I feel, I reflect, then I try my best to improve upon it, learn from it, or move on. Don't let "it" consume you. You are it. I realize this all sounds like hokey armchair psychobabble, but I think it's decent advice. At worst I'm probably guilty of sounding patronizing. Sorry. Anyway, feel better, dude. 1
Bialy Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 Mornings are the worst. I get consumed with thoughts. I usually only have one cup of coffee during my work day, but I'm going to stop having it to see how I feel. I'm also going to lay off caffeinated teas too, like green tea. I'll stick to those on weekends. Monday - Friday, starting tomorrow, only herbal, non-caffeinated teas for the next few weeks. 1
NIGHT1985 Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I'll feel better once I get home, and with my dog . But this 3 week work trip has now turned into a 6 week trip. I'm doing what I can to get out and socialize with my free time, but I still end up letting my thoughts drift away, wondering what she's doing, thinking about why things led to this, and so on. I wish there was a pill I could take to just forget it all 2
Bumble82 Posted September 29, 2016 Posted September 29, 2016 I was totally caught off guard today :'( walking down a very busy London street, loads of buskers... and one of them was playing a song from a gorgeous French movie that me and my ex loved - we used to listen to the soundtrack together a lot. It stopped me dead in my tracks, like being stabbed in the heart all over again. I wanted to message him so much... send an audio or a video... but I obviously didn't. I was fighting back tears the whole way down the street. Eurgh. It sucks SO much how little moments can catch you like that. 4
DarrenB Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Day, I've lost count... 50 days since B/U?, 25+ days since last contact. My mind hurts, my ego is damaged, my heart is broken. It still beats for her and I am longing for her sweet love and adoration. I never thought reminiscing would be so bad, however not as bad as this. Movies, various rock/blues music, games, locations, streets. All remind me of her. My heart is vacant but my mind and soul still remembers every single detail from day 1 to the last day. People would assume first loves as non-recognizable in time, but this is going to stick with me throughout my entire life. The hope of potentially reconciling with her, to the haunting thought of her forgetting me completely and doing... everything... with someone else. In-denial strikes again. Keep occupied everyone... 1
keiji Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Another potential relationship down the drain after a couple of months. She's truly special, smart, good-natured and beautiful, but I'm not ready. It's been almost a year since my ex-g and I broke up (weirdly, I can't remember the exact date, not even the exact week of the month) and almost six since my ex-wife and I started a painful two-year divorce process that destroyed my nervous system (and my bank account). I assume the wounds are still too big for me to invest in someone else, and it's sad because it feels like a lost opportunity. At least I've been honest to her, I guess that's something, and there's nothing wrong with being single. I'm fine like this for the time being. After over two summer months without literally a single free day, I've booked an apartment in Paris for a week in late October, and life has managed to play one of its wonderful tricks: it's the same dates my ex-wife and I chose to go there eight years ago. Or maybe it's my subconscious playing tricks and I need to close the cycle by going there again, this time on my own. Autumn in Paris could be the most beautiful thing on Earth, or the saddest in this case. We'll see.
Logo Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 Are there local support groups for dealing with the pain and the constant intrusive thoughts? Even at work, when I try to focus and stay busy, I think about the relationship a million times. Everyone around me that I trust sharing this with is tired of hearing about it, about what happened. I thought it would get better, but I feel like I'm getting worse. Twice or three times in the last few days, I have read an email she sent me when we first started seeing each other. It breaks my heart when I compare it to the way our relationship ended. And I can't delete it. I never will. I can't bring myself to do that. I feel like telling her that we have both made mistakes along the way, some were minor, others were truly hurtful. In the days leading up to the end, I thought things were finally getting back on track and I was making a great effort to rekindle the flame. So did she, or so it seemed. I feel like hugging her one last time, smelling her scent and saying goodbye, despite her cheating on me, for old times' sake at least. But I know I probably won't do that. I can't bring myself to do that after the way she betrayed my trust with such callous disregard.
Logo Posted September 30, 2016 Posted September 30, 2016 I have just read a book about relationships and I feel much better. Live and learn. There was no excuse for her to betray my trust the way she did. Plenty of fish in the sea. I'm going to work on myself for a while and focus on me. 1
juniorrocha Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Me and my ex are seeing each other more and more frequently. In fact, everything seems like back when we were dating - except the bad sides are gone. We use to fight every week. Now we've been seeing each other for almost a month and it's all ok. She's feeling more secure now too, and has been initiating contact. Things between us are better than ever. However, during the 3+ months we were in NC, I developed something new in me. I was feeling so great with just myself that I'm missing these moments. I don't feel like seeing other girls, but I was enjoying my own company so much that the fact we spent the day together today kinda annoyed me. It annoys me how it changes my new routine. This didn't happen before the BU. I don't know if I still love her. I do care about her very much, there's something about her that attracts me a lot. But it seems like that special thing you feel when you're in love is gone. Not sure I can feel that way again about her.
DarrenB Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Me and my ex are seeing each other more and more frequently. In fact, everything seems like back when we were dating - except the bad sides are gone. We use to fight every week. Now we've been seeing each other for almost a month and it's all ok. She's feeling more secure now too, and has been initiating contact. Things between us are better than ever. However, during the 3+ months we were in NC, I developed something new in me. I was feeling so great with just myself that I'm missing these moments. I don't feel like seeing other girls, but I was enjoying my own company so much that the fact we spent the day together today kinda annoyed me. It annoys me how it changes my new routine. This didn't happen before the BU. I don't know if I still love her. I do care about her very much, there's something about her that attracts me a lot. But it seems like that special thing you feel when you're in love is gone. Not sure I can feel that way again about her. Congratulations for the reconciliation Junior. Glad you've been able to access the positive sides of rekindling with a previous loved one. Don't rule out anything though. Don't think too much. Let things progress; if they were meant to be then it will. If not, then I'm sure it'll be alot more easier this time round.
lana-banana Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 I just ran into my Worst Ex and his wife. We were at a popular local fair and browsing the wares when I heard a "hey". It happened in slow motion: I turned, looked upwards, saw his face for the first time in years. My fiance said "uh, hey". "Hey," I said... ...and kept walking. My fiance followed. Was it rude? No doubt. I didn't even mean to be! It was pure instinct. I looked up at him, remembered all the awful and conflicting emotions I used to have, and in their place I just had a void. I didn't feel anything, at all. I didn't even care about making small talk. I just had nothing there. I feel fine. 1
Bialy Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Were you at Crafty Bastards Festival at Union Market? 1
sorano Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 feeling good. Im back on track in the gym. started my vitamin therapy along with correcting my hormones with testosterone shots. Let me tell you, prozac, effexor, all that bs ( I tried them ) aint got nothing on testosterone therapy combined with vitamin replacment therapy. Nothing. I feel strong, my sex drive is retarted, Im building even more muscle, my mood has elevated, my attitude is more alpha, and more importantly, I can give two ##### about women. I am happy once again being alone. Yea every now and then ill get in a mood where I want to see my ex get hit by a car and get angry but, its part of coping. enjoy the weekend folks! Im going to the gym!! 1
Hoaks Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 Wow, do not try and reconnect with a ex. Even though I've been there every time she wanted to talk to me again. As soon as I do it's the most painful thing ever. She just ignored me after 2 weeks of talking and yeah nothing but pain comes from it. Back to the start all over again...ugh
SixxChick Posted October 1, 2016 Posted October 1, 2016 He left $200 under my doormat today. While I am very happy (and lucky) that he is paying me back, the violation of NC brings my thoughts to crap like, why doesn't he want to say "hi", hear my voice, see how I am doing, etc.? Because he's a man-child, that's why. Well, at least he is very, very afraid of me. Getting paid by him on the first of the month is pretty epic. 1
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