ithappenedagain Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 It's been a little over a week. The first 7 days I spent in classic ''begging'' mode. Trying to win her heart back. I thought I had her, I really did.. Then 2 nights ago I got the message from her that she was 100% moving on and wanted my stuff out.. I have been an emotional rollercoaster. Only the good memories of us are being replayed in my head. I wish I could swallow a pill to completely forget her Or do I? Jeeez.. I miss her so much still. I cant hide it. No matter what everyone keeps telling me I just cant accept that it is over. Working 10+ hour shifts, mainly by myself, doesn't make things better... UGH. DAMN. Link to post Share on other sites
H245 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 It's been almost 3 weeks and I miss her She has moved on and I haven't...this sucks Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Shiety day today, setting the tone. Today is not a good day at all. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Generally speaking OK. I wish I could miss her somewhat less but most of the time it gboils down to wondering does she and will she miss me. It is long past due for our short term. Hell it could be considered a fling. Yet were both single. If something happens, the communication will remain cordial until I decide otherwise. I have some other goals to pursue and when that is finished, it will be much healthier environment for me and my so, be it her or some other chick. Crappy family situation past two days. I blame them for putting too much weight on my shoulders from me to cope. I was in no shape to nurture a relationship past summer. Now I managed to solve almost all issues I had then, except our rs which I consider collateral damage, and which I would like to have back. So I remain vigilant when it comes to NC. But I think that I could be happier unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
John83 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Not too bad today. When we first split 12 days ago i was angry, then absolutley gutted, stupidly got my hopes up that we would sort it out. She has made it clear she does not want that. Now anger has returned. Anrgy that she would give up without a fight. Angry that she has put herself and her needs above our kids. Angry that she thinks its ok to leave her kids while she "sorts her head out" and expects to take them back like nothing is wrong once she decides to. Optimistic about own future today, worked on my van doing a few jobs that needed doing but got put off for a long while. Spoke to a friend about joining gym monday. Found another old friend is going though a breakup, we went through a breakup at same time years back and helped each other through it, strange its happening again. He also has a kid now. So going to get in touch again. Feeling better. Sorry for long post but its good to write this. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Feels a bit better now. Still the waves come, the waves go... Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Doing well. Made myself a healthy breakfast, got some errands done. And some pre semester curling up with my kitty cat done today. I have a date tonight. Again. Shy woman's social life is definitely picking up. I remember when it hurt knowing that I would be able to consider other men. I am glad though, that I can. The man who truly deserves me, will have the backbone to get and keep me and will let nothing stand in his way. Because the past is gone. It is dead. All there is, is the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Recently I feel like all I hear is old friends getting back together with their exes. Why is that never me? Why am I the one who never gets a breadcrumb? I'm not the type of girl who has guys chasing after her, guys don't care when they lose me. I always considered myself a great girlfriend, but apparently I'm nothing special. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Recently I feel like all I hear is old friends getting back together with their exes. Why is that never me? Why am I the one who never gets a breadcrumb? I'm not the type of girl who has guys chasing after her, guys don't care when they lose me. I always considered myself a great girlfriend, but apparently I'm nothing special. sorry, hon I'm feeling the same right now. I thought that he really loved me and I thought that we were such a perfect match, but it seems like it was easy for him. right now I'm not feeling so great. I'm supposed to go out with friends for drinks for my birthday (which is coming up), but I'm just not feeling up for it. I feel like it's going to take some time to shake this feeling that was caused by my ex initiating contact. He's gone now, for good. Blocked. But... a part of me feels like I'm starting all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Things have been rough for 9 months. I think I'm realizing that my ex had no idea what I was going through. She knew all the rough things that happened to me, but if I showed any signs of being upset, they were brief and I buried things down deep. I tried to protect her, but problems that persist and remain unsaid generate rifts. My energy disappeared. I was no longer the goofy, energetic, driven person I was when me met. I'm trying to get that person back, but it's a slow process. I'm coping alright, but I don't when the coping will stop and I'll just be living again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
margot13 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Today needs to be a good day. I have decided I will not let the heartbreak demons get me today. I am tired of wasting my time thinking of it all, letting the sadness drain my energy. Today needs to be a good day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I'm really proud of your attitude!! I hope you have a wonderful day! Today needs to be a good day. I have decided I will not let the heartbreak demons get me today. I am tired of wasting my time thinking of it all, letting the sadness drain my energy. Today needs to be a good day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I hate Sundays. Most likely it will be a crappy one. Pap packed his things and moved to his mother's. I don't know what's in that man's head moving in with mom, but I won't try to comprehend it. I feel a bit guilty for how I treated my so post bu. Link to post Share on other sites
H245 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 It's almost 4am and I am feeling anxious again....I miss having someone sleep next to me in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Set back last night. Now she is in my thoughts today. She did something and she did it on purpose to get a reaction from me. She did not get a reaction and i so glad she has no idea how i am feeling. She would love it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
im_thedude Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Still have my moments where I close my eyes and miss her, but I feel like I'm at last making truly good progress, nearly six months later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I think I am doing pretty well overall. I am dating again, though not exclusively or anything. Being pretty has not given the amount of date requests that I had thought it would before I got that way, but hey, I've been asked out a couple times now, and its been good. Right now, I am in a little pain, because I'm doing that thing that I said I would do, my own little attempt at Eternal Sunshining it by writing about that last night starting from the end and working backwards (the memory erase, not the getting back together--all hope of that happening is dead, his silence has made that more than adequately clear). I have been taken back into the initial pain somewhat. Anyway, I'm getting this last little splinter of poison out so I can move on with my life. He clearly has, and I am not going to sit on my ass pining in any way, shape or form (not even a tiny little bit, and I think I had been letting myself get away with a tiny little bit of it) for him, when he is not for me. I am moving on into the future, having learned the lesson to not allow myself to commit to exclusivity until I know them a lot better than I knew him. So that I'll have a better chance to see pitfalls like this coming up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
H245 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Right now, I am in a little pain, because I'm doing that thing that I said I would do, my own little attempt at Eternal Sunshining it by writing about that last night starting from the end and working backwards (the memory erase, not the getting back together--all hope of that happening is dead, his silence has made that more than adequately clear). I have been taken back into the initial pain somewhat. I'd like to try that myself. Is it just a matter of writing starting from the night prior all the way to where things started with the ex? Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Not too bad, the gym can certainly turn things around rather quickly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Not too bad, the gym can certainly turn things around rather quickly. I would so be at the gym right now if I could. If I weren't hobbling around like a 90 year old due to my own stupidity after already being sore from a workout! Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I would so be at the gym right now if I could. If I weren't hobbling around like a 90 year old due to my own stupidity after already being sore from a workout! Dont starin yourself. I ended up with 2 fractured tibias due to "pushing it to the limit" which I actually did. And surprisingly I can still walk around. Listen to your body. Most likely I'll be in casts on Tuesday for a month and a half, that should be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Xemyd Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 The last week I've been a zombie. I don't even want to get out of bed, I don't want to talk to anyone, nothing. 4 months post BU, when is this going to end? I want to not care anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Dont starin yourself. I ended up with 2 fractured tibias due to "pushing it to the limit" which I actually did. And surprisingly I can still walk around. Listen to your body. Most likely I'll be in casts on Tuesday for a month and a half, that should be fun. Take care of yourself! I must admit to being a little bit worried, I've had a symptom that is probably unrelated completely to the muscle soreness, but could indicate something wrong with my only kidney. I know, TMI right? But if it is related to the muscle soreness and the workout, than that is really bad, because that definitely would be damaging. Anyhow, Just trying to figure out when I should get to the doctor and I'm keeping an eye on it. But it sucks, because all I want to do is get myself so incredibly worked out and tired (I mean, that last workout I joked andjokingly complained, but I really liked feeling completely dead after it, it took my mind off of so much stuff!) and lose myself in the workout and in the way I feel for the whole day afterwards (so much better, usually, when I'm not barely able to move!). I'm sorry that you won't be able to work out much but your upper body for quite awhile! Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 not so well today my family is all gathered here to celebrate my birthday with me, and I just can't seem to lift myself from this depression. I have felt worse before, so I know that I just need to keep pushing forward and the feeling will pass... of course, then it will come back. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to have to keep fighting on a daily basis to just feel okay. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I'd like to try that myself. Is it just a matter of writing starting from the night prior all the way to where things started with the ex? Several things. I would wait until you are nearly over your ex to begin this. This, at least, for me, I see as more of an ending process. I think yours is still pretty recent. Mine was in early September and so am getting not to far from the six month mark. For me, I am not going back to the beginning, because our relationship had so many problems so early on. For me, it was more the relationship we were set up to have if we'd gone a different direction on that last night. For me, then, I am just doing that last night all the way to getting ready for it and my stupid naive hope (but everything he said and did and so many people I talked to --a couple even read messages that he had written that normally I'd keep private but I thought they really sounded like we would be and so did the people who read them) that we would be getting back together. So for you, I think, it is just a matter of personal need. What memories or things stick in your mind like a craw that you can't get out? What do you need to push the rewind button on to get out of your head? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts