NIGHT1985 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 So my ex called me about figuring out where I've been coming from the last 2 weeks( I was being too pushy and wasn't moving on) we had a bit of closure and talked, broke some things down about how we weren't really right together and maybe down the line after I've healed, that a friendship could be built again. We have awesome chemistry as friends, so I would love that, but I don't see it happening. She told me her relationship and new job are going amazing. So I wished her the best with everything and wouldn't contact her again, and I mean it this time. I've also went on my sixth date with a girl on my birthday, we went for dinner and drinks and went back to her place for bday sex. I'm just not sure how I feel about her romantically, yet. I love the affection and sex, but I'm still numb towards her on a level of that type romantic partner. I think I'm still scarred from the ex, so I'll just continue to take it slow and see what develops
asphyxis Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 The break up is still confusing and I'm still finding myself picking apart the break up conversations and the months leading up to it. I've been trying to see if it really was all entirely me. I feel insecure. I feel angry at myself for not listening at times to what you had to say. Maybe I did take you for granted. I should have told you more how much i appreciated you, and took more effort to push myself to call you or video chat just like I said I would but never did. I've picked out some relationship books, I want to be a better me and also for someone new. I've been dumped before, but I've never felt this way before. Almost 3 weeks in and it still feels like day one.
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Almost gonna be a month since break up, 3 days since I put him on block.... But I'm still missing him. Why. He did me wrong BAD. Everyday i learn something new about him and the other woman. Me and the woman's boyfriend are talking to eachother sharing feelings etc .. He's with her still tho. Giving it another try. I'm not. I left and is NC. But now I want to unblock him and really have him lay out everything and tell me the truth since we are no longer together to see why he did all of this . I can't seem to let go until I get closure
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Today is my birthday, and all I really want is her to send me a text/phone call to acknowledge it, but I know it won't happen. My birthday is coming up soon too and I was wondering that too.. But the question was... When we (or you, in your situation), was every year a celebration for the birthdays or was it a fight, or expecting something , but recieving nothing and not even a happy birthday until you remind them? Then no it's not worth hearing from them.
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 usually not a fan of dating sites but I joined one. Figured its another tool I can use. Browsing today, I see my ex. she made a profile. I did a double take and at first I was like wow. Look who it is. The beast, the false hope, the slob, the lying sac of ****. Good luck on the dating site. I will pray for the next man in line. He is going to be in one big shock of his life. Huge surprise. Maybe she will marry, maybe she wont. It is no longer my concern. She is gone and out of my life. I cannot think about this anymore. I WILL continue to STAY on the site. I will not even block the profile. what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. You will not bring me down. You will not defeat me. You will never make me feel low, sad, depressed and worthless EVER again. For I, have become, a better man. You can no longer tell me what to do, what to wear, or nag and cry about your stupid little issues. Thinking the whole world revolves around you. No. I no longer have to listen to your LIES. No longer have to believe in your false hopes. I DESERVE BETTER. And looking back, trying to find someone better who WILL treat me better, will NOT be that hard. On to the next one...... As baz luhrmann said in the sunscreen song, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON JEALOUSY. DO NOT PUT UP WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE WRECKLESS WITH YOUR HEART. In conclusion, I am going to have a nice day today even though I saw my ex's new pic on a dating site. I can't control who signs up on these things. I saw it, oh well. It is what it is. My parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate. so go ahead fellas, you can have her. The gum that is stuck on the bottom of my shoe is worth more than you JM. yes I sound heartless and mean with all the name calling and insults! That is because YOU JM, ruined my life. You ruined a once humble and peaceful, lovable man. But now that man is coming back. The heart is being healed and will come back 10 times better. JM? do me a favor, GO EAT A ....:lmao::cool: Thank you...................and have a nice day ( salute ) LOL DEAD. I love. Made my day.
NIGHT1985 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 My birthday is coming up soon too and I was wondering that too.. But the question was... When we (or you, in your situation), was every year a celebration for the birthdays or was it a fight, or expecting something , but recieving nothing and not even a happy birthday until you remind them? Then no it's not worth hearing from them. We both went out our ways to make our birthdays and Christmas a huge event, it's sad. And no, I didn't get a text from her, and even with all my friends and family showing me love, I still felt numb on my birthday. She's in love with another man and showering him with love.
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 We both went out our ways to make our birthdays and Christmas a huge event, it's sad. And no, I didn't get a text from her, and even with all my friends and family showing me love, I still felt numb on my birthday. She's in love with another man and showering him with love. *hugs* I don't know if it's everyone or not, but i always take my birthday wishes etc to heart too. Anyone who forgets , I wonder what kind of value I was ever to them etc. I think you just want any reason to hear from her cuz you still care and miss her.
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 I realized something today and that's that I am not visiting the forum that much anymore. I feel I'm healing and fast. I no longer think what she is doing. Still have some thoughts that creep in from time to time but nothing major to make me feel bad. Two things may have happened - either my heart closed up for any emotion or I just think I'm ok trying to lie to my brain and it may later hit me like a bat on the head 2
sorano Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 Time heals everything. It may take a while but, everybody will be ok. At times I do miss the looks of my ex. she was beautiful. One thing that I am still a little stuck on is her looks. Her pic I found on the dating site, just struck a nerve yesterday. so tonight its bar time. Have a few drinks alone. My ex gf I compare to one of those statue of a goddess. You look at it, and wow, its beautiful. Work of art. You look at her pictures and you fall in love bc of her beauty. Her smile, eyes, lips, etc. BUT..........upon closer inspection, YOU NOTICE THE STATUE IS DAMAGED. It has cracks. It has flaws. Its not what it seems up close. That is my ex. Damaged. I can't fix that.
sorano Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Its saturday night, 11:09pm. Just got back from having a few drinks. I went alone tonight. Like I stated recently, I found my ex on a dating site that I joined a few months ago. I guess she just made it a few days ago. I was fine with it. Nothing wild. so tonight after dinner, for some strange reason, this massive wave of depression hit me out of nowhere. No clue. I guess seeing a picture of my ex on the dating site just hit me. I head off to my favorite saturday night lounge. Sitting there having my drinks, I am looking around and see only couples. I was like wtf, is it couples night? Glancing around, it made me miss having someone by my side. I got sad. I decided to leave early and just cruise the rest of the night in my mustang. I am now home, listening to some smooth jazz and not really doing to well. I do expect this to happen time to time. so I must cope this evening. I will take some time to pray tonight in my room. Peace and quiet and pray. jsut needed to vent 1
NIGHT1985 Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Its saturday night, 11:09pm. Just got back from having a few drinks. I went alone tonight. Like I stated recently, I found my ex on a dating site that I joined a few months ago. I guess she just made it a few days ago. I was fine with it. Nothing wild. so tonight after dinner, for some strange reason, this massive wave of depression hit me out of nowhere. No clue. I guess seeing a picture of my ex on the dating site just hit me. I head off to my favorite saturday night lounge. Sitting there having my drinks, I am looking around and see only couples. I was like wtf, is it couples night? Glancing around, it made me miss having someone by my side. I got sad. I decided to leave early and just cruise the rest of the night in my mustang. I am now home, listening to some smooth jazz and not really doing to well. I do expect this to happen time to time. so I must cope this evening. I will take some time to pray tonight in my room. Peace and quiet and pray. jsut needed to vent Just feel good that your ex is looking and not in love with a guy pinning wedding stuff in Pinterest. 1
sorano Posted July 24, 2016 Posted July 24, 2016 Just feel good that your ex is looking and not in love with a guy pinning wedding stuff in Pinterest. Well, let me touch on that. My ex was going Pinterest crazy when we met. She would text me, "omg I have never been looking at so much wedding stuff before! Rings dresses venues! I'm saving them on Pinterest for us." It hurts that she said all these things and now, they were all lies. Just a fantasy. She said all this stuff to me and just left. I know how you feel. But you have to stop following her and getting inside info on her. You won't heal bro. Trust me. I'm in the same shoes as you. The pain and sadness is real. Just have to let time work.
SixxChick Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 (edited) Its saturday night, 11:09pm. Just got back from having a few drinks. I went alone tonight. Like I stated recently, I found my ex on a dating site that I joined a few months ago. I guess she just made it a few days ago. I was fine with it. Nothing wild. so tonight after dinner, for some strange reason, this massive wave of depression hit me out of nowhere. No clue. I guess seeing a picture of my ex on the dating site just hit me. I head off to my favorite saturday night lounge. Sitting there having my drinks, I am looking around and see only couples. I was like wtf, is it couples night? Glancing around, it made me miss having someone by my side. I got sad. I decided to leave early and just cruise the rest of the night in my mustang. I am now home, listening to some smooth jazz and not really doing to well. I do expect this to happen time to time. so I must cope this evening. I will take some time to pray tonight in my room. Peace and quiet and pray. jsut needed to vent I had a most exceptional night at the Hollywood Bowl with girlfriends and Weird Al Yanovic. I never really realized his potential to make me laugh. We made a wonderful picnic, and even had a homemade ranch dressing throw down. My cheeks were sore from laughing. But, when I got home ... I heard the song "Somewhere With You" by Kenny Chesney. I don't even like Kenny Chesney. But, damn. He ruined it for me. Why did I come home and cry? While I pictured you most of the night, I fought those thoughts. I drove home safe and sound with some really cool memories, but cried once I got there because you were not "somewhere with me." I cried for the you that does not exist. I really want to quit crying. Edited July 25, 2016 by SixxChick 1
sorano Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 It just seems that certain things trigger a response in us and we cannot handle it yet. I still do believe time heals. I said it over and over. I honestly think some us, need lots of time. We all heal in different ways. I just know that in the end, its all going to be ok. The people that get dumped, we suffer the most. For us, we have to battle these emotions and there is no fast way to heal. Its a long road. A broken heart sucks. We will get these set backs even months and months later. we just have to accept it and deal with it head on. 4
SixxChick Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 It just seems that certain things trigger a response in us and we cannot handle it yet. I still do believe time heals. I said it over and over. I honestly think some us, need lots of time. We all heal in different ways. I just know that in the end, its all going to be ok. The people that get dumped, we suffer the most. For us, we have to battle these emotions and there is no fast way to heal. Its a long road. A broken heart sucks. We will get these set backs even months and months later. we just have to accept it and deal with it head on. Beasts and Dicks. They happen. And we are left with the residue and remainder. Heavy sigh. 1
sorano Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Beasts and Dicks. They happen. And we are left with the residue and remainder. Heavy sigh. Yes. Its a shame that we have to struggle and be left with pain, sadness, a feeling that we got robbed, taken advantage of and given false hope. like I stated else where on this forum, I compared my ex to a beautiful statue of a goddess. You look at it and its perfect. Its beautiful. But upon closer inspection, you start to see the statue has crack, flaws, and lots of imperfections. The damage is too much to be fixed. sometimes we still see our ex's as the one. The perfect person. But we must look at the wrong they did, the things we didnt like about them, and say hey, they aren't what they claim to be. Just like the statue.
freebird31 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Feelin a little blue today. Just found out one of my co-workers who is already married, and my age 24, is now pregnant with her first baby. I was happy for her. But somehow it just made me feel a little bit sad. I have spent a lot of energy and time over the years building a career for myself. I don't even have a boyfriend. I'm the same age as her and it just made me feel ..sad. i don't even know when I am going to settle down with anyone. And right now all I am thinking about is my aspiring career. And just working so hard in school. And I just feel sad. A little bit. I don't really know why. It just made me think about my ex for some reason. Maybe because my coworker has been with her husband since she was a teen. It made me think of my ex. Why couldn't we work it out. Why couldn't we be in that place. For a while, I kept telling myself I'm still young. But a lot of people I went to high school with have kids now and some are even married. And it's just a little bit sad. I sometimes wish I at least was in a serious relationship with someone. I do want a family. Idk .just trying not to get down. My crush is 20 years old. Lol. Like seriously ? An I really being realistic with myself. Me and him are in different places in life. I shouldn't involve myself in that. It's just anither broken heart waiting to happen. Idk. Not sure how I feel right now. I want a husband one day and a baby. Don't even have a boyfriend lol
SixxChick Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Yes. Its a shame that we have to struggle and be left with pain, sadness, a feeling that we got robbed, taken advantage of and given false hope. like I stated else where on this forum, I compared my ex to a beautiful statue of a goddess. You look at it and its perfect. Its beautiful. But upon closer inspection, you start to see the statue has crack, flaws, and lots of imperfections. The damage is too much to be fixed. sometimes we still see our ex's as the one. The perfect person. But we must look at the wrong they did, the things we didnt like about them, and say hey, they aren't what they claim to be. Just like the statue. Here is where we might part ways. My ex was heavily flawed. He even admitted it. I had know him for a long time before we dated. But, even that was not enough. If they admit that you are "too good" to them. Or that they "don't deserve" you, run like hell. I had all of the warning signs, but I always try to look for the good in people. In this case, it was hopeless. It still does not disintegrate the deep emotions (and finances) that I invested wholeheartedly.
sorano Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Love is blind. The good people will always try to find good in others. we give them chances. I, knew my ex, I mean beast, had issues. Right in the beginning of us dating. But no, stupid me, hey she is worth it and deep inside I wanted to find the good in her. Now this may not apply to all. But me? If I sense any drama, anger issues, um no stability, just messed up in the head? I am gone. I don't care if you are the last female on earth. Im ghost. The door is that way ==> GTFO. As rich piana once said...."ONE DAY YOU MAY" One day, I may find someone who will appreciate me FOR ME. who will love me, who will take care of me and will go above and beyond for me, as I will with her. One day you may. That line can be used with any goal we all have. With that idea in mind, you must have/be........ Perseverance, Dedication, Determination, Ambition, Tenacious, Aggressive, Relentless, Confidence, Positive, Fearless. I will not give up or be beaten. she wanted to break me down, dump me? The man that put up with her ****, treated her like a queen and said yes we will, we can, we are a team? NO. She, her family, her friends who she praised, her job, her LIFE, AIN'T ****. she made me work and kill myself to show her what kind of man I am. I was the knight with shining armor. I came to save her. She let me in for a second, then left me. all that hard work, bending over backwards, gone. I am not going to be that guy who will wish her well and forgive. Everything in the universe will equal its self out. when karma comes, its going to be priceless. 2
SixxChick Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Love is blind. The good people will always try to find good in others. she made me work and kill myself to show her what kind of man I am. I was the knight with shining armor. I came to save her. She let me in for a second, then left me. all that hard work, bending over backwards, gone. I am not going to be that guy who will wish her well and forgive. Everything in the universe will equal its self out. when karma comes, its going to be priceless. I was just a mere second too. If even. When he lost his house and had nowhere to go? I not only took him in, but all of the baggage with his divorce, kids, demise of his business, finances, depression, anxiety attacks, the whole combo plate, etc. Jeez, when I look back on it ... WTF was wrong with me? I am a strong woman, but GAH. I need to reassess. In the meantime, I know for a fact that he is no better off today. I hate to rejoice in that reality, but Karma is a bitch. Many thanks for commiserating.
sorano Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 I was just a mere second too. If even. When he lost his house and had nowhere to go? I not only took him in, but all of the baggage with his divorce, kids, demise of his business, finances, depression, anxiety attacks, the whole combo plate, etc. Jeez, when I look back on it ... WTF was wrong with me? I am a strong woman, but GAH. I need to reassess. In the meantime, I know for a fact that he is no better off today. I hate to rejoice in that reality, but Karma is a bitch. Many thanks for commiserating. Your a good person. Only positive things will come your way. At that moment you felt it was right to do. Now, you learned. If, and I hope not, this happens again and you see the same signs, bounce. Just go. You have the tools now. I know I said the people that get dumped are left wth pain, sadness etc. But thinking about it, when we are put down like that, in that horrible state of mind, WE are the ones that fight back and make ourselves better. In the end, we become the better person. All that negative crap, we can and will reverse it to make us The version........2.0 2
SixxChick Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Your a good person. Only positive things will come your way. At that moment you felt it was right to do. Now, you learned. If, and I hope not, this happens again and you see the same signs, bounce. Just go. You have the tools now. I know I said the people that get dumped are left wth pain, sadness etc. But thinking about it, when we are put down like that, in that horrible state of mind, WE are the ones that fight back and make ourselves better. In the end, we become the better person. All that negative crap, we can and will reverse it to make us The version........2.0 Here's to version 2.0, sorano! Many updates in return. Just bounce!
freebird31 Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Don't really know what's up with me tonight. But I'm just thinking and I don't really know how I did it all of these years with a broken heart. Not just from my ex. But with my then best friend. We were like sisters. Inseparable. For 7 years. And then everything fell apart between us. And tonight I'm not really sure why I'm crying or why my heart is aching so. But I just remember the times when we were always there for each other. Always. No mater what. And it's so sad and heart breaking that a friendship, a bond went to waste. Maybe I am just feeling sentimental tonight. Maybe it really is for the best. But I'll never forget one day when we were both 15 years old (now 24) and I was really sad that day. I'll never forget when she brought me this stuffed animal dog to cheer me up. It was her own. But she gave it to me in hope of it making me feel better. It's really sad that our friendship went to waste the way it did. After so many years. But I just got tired of being treated the way I was being treated. It felt like she couldn't make the time for our friendship anymore. Not to mention this was the same time when my ex had just broke up with me. I don't even know how the hell I got through all of this **** that I had to go through. Somehow I made it through without ever turning to bad distractions. I always just stayed focused on school. And because of that, I missed out a lot on my social part of my life. I was a hermit and just studied and studied. I got my social fix by socializing with other students or going to school clubs. Luckily I made new friends whom i cherish deeply. And we stay in touch on a regular basis. But I'll never forget mt special friendship with my then best friend. Even though she hurt me. And even though maybe we might be better off not being a part of each other's life? Not sure. But I'll never forget it. Feeling a bit heartbroken tonight 1
keiji Posted July 25, 2016 Posted July 25, 2016 Most of the time, a reality-punch in the face is the best that can happen to you in order to move on completely. When I discovered she was with someone else four or five weeks ago I was pretty sure I had been pushed towards full closure, and I was right. I don't think about her anymore. Actually, yesterday I went on a date and I didn't hesitate to have drinks in some of our old favorite hangouts not fearing bumping into her one single time. Actually, I parked my motorcycle right in front her old flat where we made love for the first time and, unbelievably, I didn't even realize at the moment. Who would have imagined this just a couple of months ago. I went through a lot, and had to work very hard to get up again, but I made it, and so will you, guys. We cannot let them control our lives even when they're absent and not giving a damn about us. We must not. I think life rewards you in the end, and I was very, very lucky to meet someone new two weeks ago. I didn't plan it, it just happened. It's not exactly a full-on relationship yet, but I'm excited anyway, and I hadn't been in a long, long time.
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