NIGHT1985 Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Why the hell is the morning time the worst for me? I could go to bed feeling so damn good, but wake up flooded with so many emotions, memories, and urges to contact her. It's so damn overwhelming 3
Traceycprc Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I have had a really good couple of days, so much calmer and at peace. I'm still maintaining NC, and just concentrating on me. Going to the gym, seeing friends and just giving myself some TLC. I read somewhere if you accept that the relationship is over and work on yourself it will make your recovery so much easier. I think also going NC and not knowing what is going on his life has helped a lot too. It was really difficult but keeping a journal, sometimes even curling up in a ball and crying my heart out helped! Im not saying I'm over things, I'm saying I'm coping in a healthy way putting myself first. It's working and those awful mornings where I felt desperate to be in touch with him, have eased. I still feel a loss but I have accepted it, and moving on. 2
Sunnymae Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I was intimate with someone else thinking I should, or at least try, but it just made me miss him more. I do feel a bit better though, not so anxious. Going out with friends, and cuddling with my two dogs.
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 This morning sadness creeps in... I am working today needless to say its Saturday and outside is shining, the sun is out but I feel kind of down. I started thinking about us, about how she doesn't care how I feel after the break (I know she shouldn't but I would). I just want to hear her voice I miss talking to her. I want her to call me not to get together just ask me how I am doing, am I coping well, that she misses me but we are different. I know it doesn't make any sense but I eventually man up and said to myself that it is over and I have to accept that. I think it's good I am channeling my thoughts better now not to dwell on the past. Before when I started thinking about it it took a couple of hours just to set my mind straight. Now it is just a few minutes. It's sad but I like the progress I made. 3
Traceycprc Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I don't know why but I tend to think about what he is doing on weekends. Is he taking her to the nice places we went, doesn't he even care that's where we used to go? Funny how you make such drama in your head from it. I'm not feeling anxious this morning, but I was thinking about what he would be doing on this sunny Saturday morning. It's because we always speant weekends together and now I have to speand them alone. I have to build my routine, lose the old one and do what I like! So up I got fed the cats and my puppy, now heading out on my bike, enjoy the sunshine on the country roads. Before I know it I will have my own routine, the places I like to go solo. Before I know it I will be thinking about what I'm doing this weekend, not what he is doing with his! 2
Wilde_Silas Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 (edited) I just want to hear her voice I miss talking to her. I want her to call me not to get together just ask me how I am doing, am I coping well, that she misses me but we are different. This. So much this. This is why it's still killing me. She bailed on me because she couldn't handle my problems no more but not a cheep since even though she knew how it had destroyed me. We were best friends as well as lovers. I confided my deepest thoughts and concerns to her. Now we are strangers... Edited July 9, 2016 by Wilde_Silas update 2
Kymmi Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I'm having a hell of a time, and I wish nothing more than to be able to do the NC, but I have 4 kids. I breakdown and cry every time we leave the kids baseball games. This time last year, things were so different. We would go for ice cream after the game, than head back home and watch movies. We were also planning our wedding. Having to see him on a regular basis and communicate with him is taking a toll on me, and its prolonging me getting over him and moving on.
sorano Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I am doing good. Progress is slow and steady. I am trying to be a better person each day. I literally revamped myself since the breakup. Today was um, weird. My folks invited some family over for a bbq. when everyone showed up, all I can see is my family eating, laughing, drinking and having a good time. The kids were off playing also having a good time. I am standing in the room watching all this. For some strange reason, it re jogged some memories of the holidays. christmas to be more exact. I remember my ex and I having a blast with our families. I envisioned her today laughing, helping my mom setup the food, and telling me how happy she is. very weird considering I took her off that pedestal and started to feel so damn good. I am starting to feel like my old self again. But this little get together really got me. I find myself here, typing, feeling a bit down. All these memories are flooding my brain and I have no idea why. Tomorrow is another day. 2
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Today I'm working again... and this time from home. Being alone at home knowing it's Sunday I start thinking how she will spend it. Go out with friends, new lover? or just hang out home. Yesterday I had a conversation with my aunt about her. She asked "Why do you still care? It's been over 3 months. You are dwelling on what has been for so long, think about what will be in the future." This hurt me a little bit. I felt down that it ended that I lost a person. There was truth to her words though - I must set my mind to something else the moment I think about it. That's how you force yourself to move on. I'll try doing that from now on. No sad songs alone at home, only possitive and energetic ones. That's the small goal today! 1
freebird31 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I have not been looking up his social media. As a matter of fact he has been blocked and stayed block for 2 weeks now. I feel like I have control. It's about self-control. I don't want to hear from him anymore. I don't want him to have power over me or my life or my thoughts. Not to say that the times we shared weren't good. It's just time to accept that it's a part of my past now. I have the control over my own life. Over my own happiness. This whole time I did. I just was in denial. Was naive. Was weak. And I let myself falsely believe things that I so badly wanted to be true. The truth is he didn't share the same feelings as I did for him. And although it's tough to swallow, it is not the end of the world. He just cannot be a part of my life anymore. Not because I am too prideful or anything but because it hurts too much. It will always hurt too much if he is. I have been fine, great even, without a peep from him. I feel happy. This is just the beginning of a long and beautiful life. I wish I had known all along that I always had the power and control over my own happiness. And my exs lack of shared feelings never defined my worth. I wish I could have seen what I now see so clearly. But I was blinded because of love. Space and time has given me perception. And it is this realization that will keep me stable, secure and strong. As long as I hold onto that, I know I will be fine. Now, RISE! 4
freebird31 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I feel like I have grown a lot. Learned a lot. I see things differently now. I just feel like I'm growing up. Realizing things. I don't know how or why I am..now. Maybe because I learned through a friend I made. This friend told me about how he is fine without speaking to his ex. He had such a good attitude about it. And you could never guess what he was going through. It really inspired me. He is a happy person and makes the most out of things. I guess that's the point when I realized that life is about your attitude. Another thing I learned with time, regarding this breakup, is that after a while it just gets really OLD. It gets old torturing yourself over the same thoughts. Over the same questions, the same brokenness. After a while you're so sick of feeling like **** all of the time. At some point you just realize it's not worth it anymore. At some point you realize there's so much more to life ! There's so much out there! More than what meets the eye. So many other opportunities for love and new experiences. You just have to open yourself up to it. It took me a lot to get here. I know I will stay here IF and only if I continue to practice self-control. By not checking up on his life. And never hearing from him again. That's the ONLY way I will be able to stay at peace. It's do-able. It took a lot of maturing to get here. This is just the beginning 3
Traceycprc Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 He has been in contact and it's really hurting me. I'm really missing him today, and I just want to reach out, but I won't. He said that he was missing me and sent me Don't you remember by Adele. I guess it's hitting him a bit now, what he has done and me not replying to any messages. I don't think it's a I want her back, it's a why are you ignoring me, I need an ego boost. Why should I miss him after what he has done? Why get in contact when he is happy with her now? It's not fair, and I have to deal with it. I refuse to feel too down about it, I have to carry on. Yes I miss him, yes I still love him, but I refuse to be dragged into easing his guilt. Even if he knocked on my door and said I love you, I'm sorry lets work it out, he would get a door in his face! I just want to be at peace and to move on is that so much to ask? 4
sooshi Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Yesterday was hard. Saw a man with a t-shirt of the university sports team that my ex's family likes. Soon afterwards, my friend gave me a ride back home, and she put on the radio and I heard a commercial for traveling to his state, and it's not an especially popular state like New York or Florida. I don't even live in his country. Triggers. I have been really missing him. Cried for a while tonight, realizing I will probably never see him again and that it's probably for the best. 1
bummer Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Made it. Feels great on the outside. rode my bike all day, crashing and loving it. Just laughing and enjoying life with my friends. Thing is I could do all this before. What's changed? There's still a hollowed pit in my chest. I'm still sad. The edges are softer and I'm slowly filling it in again bit by bit but its slow. I liked climbing and riding horses. I genuinely was interested in her interests. Now I'm scared. I just have to go do them on my own now. If I'm serious, I must want them for me, that's all. Legit thin candy coating on rotting innards. Where's the chocolate filling dammit? 1
SixxChick Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 I had a pretty decent weekend. One wherein I didn't feel like I was just going through the motions. It's weird though. Every now and then, he crept back into my thoughts. On Saturday, there were a few times when I wondered what he was doing. Until I told myself, STOP. YOU are walking down the street of a quaint little seaside town shopping with your best friend on a beautiful day! And then, he went away. Sunday, I kept hearing songs that reminded me of him on a station I was listening to. Voila! I changed the channel, problem solved. Baby steps, huge steps, I don't know. But it's starting to feel like I am gaining control of my emotions again. Someone on this forum said something to the effect that it gets to the point where lamenting about a breakup just starts getting old. That's true for me because I was growing weary and getting tired of missing something that I never really had. 1
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Today I made a mistake. Woke up and first thought of the day - her. Opened FB, searched for her name, checked her profile pic (we are not friends anymore I can't see anything else anyway). I didn't cry, I didn't feel sadness. Got up from bed, made breakfast, fed the cat............. cried... Not full blown out crying just silent one where tears are falling but you are breathing fine. I miss us. NC I'm fine with but my mistake was checking the pic.. I'm so stupid. 4
keiji Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Today is my ex-g's birthday. I thought I would feel sad, thinking of how she'll celebrate it with her new boyfriend, but the truth is I don't care. Also, last year I broke up with her right after a disastrous birthday dinner (I know, I know. That one's on me), so it's not like I have many fond memories of that day. I almost feel as though she's completely vanishing from my memory. On an even more positive note, today I have the first date I truly feel excited about. It was totally unplanned, but what an ironic timing! Anyway, it may lead to nothing, but I'm feeling happy. She's so cute! 3
Traceycprc Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 I miss us. NC I'm fine with but my mistake was checking the pic.. I'm so stupid. You are human not stupid, forget it and get on with your day, you are doing fine 1
Traceycprc Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Not the best day, feeling really sad and missing him. Hearing my colleague all loved up with her partner doesn't help. I get that could be me one day, and if I loved the wrong person as much as I did, imagine how good it would be with the right one! My heart seriously needs to catch up with my brain. Missing and loving a liar and a cheat is not good!
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Missing and loving a liar and a cheat is not good! Not to mention totally unnecessary and undeserving... You are better off. On a side note I went to the gym again today. Feeling so good that I finally begin to look as one of those models on the covers of magazines that I had a couple of hours not thinking about the whole breakup thing. Making progress keep it up you guys we can do it!!! 3
sorano Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 I dont miss her. Im still doing great. Getting better. But today I just had anger. I hope karma gets her. evil beast 2
justanickname Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Thought I overcame totally everything. Woke up and felt uncertain about life. Wanted to text him a trivial thing, like I used to, but I knew I could not any more. Why even stay friends or caring in a friendly way that hard? that impossible? Hate to admit, but I miss us... 1
Traceycprc Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 I was asked out on a date yesterday, even though I was flattered I knew it would just hurt me more, it's too early. I dreamt about him last night and woke up missing him. I have a busy day ahead, hoping that will distract me from any more thoughts of him. It's hard being left behind, but I have to keep going forward, good and bad days ....
guest569 Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 The past few days have been hell, and today more than ever since the breakup almost 2 months ago, I have been really tempted to contact him and ask why we cant give it another shot. To tell him how much i miss him. I doubt he feels the same, so I need to keep that in mind, it will hurt so much that it is not reciprocated.
Traceycprc Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Worst day ever after ex met me after work unexpectedly. I feel like I'm starting all over again! Lots of emotions going on that I have to deal with. Back to NC, blocked his number trying to get the pieces back together, one day at a time!
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