How are you coping today?

[SixxChick]

I would assume it's for those who've had recent breakups ...

 

I would beg to differ because I often am perplexed by the fact that the eraser of time is not diminishing the memories and feelings as fast as I would like them to be. So, I guess it's good to know that I am not completely out of my mind. Being touched on a very deep level and then discarded and hurt deeply, however recent or long ago, is not something I take lightly and can pretend was not a part of my life.

Edited July 4, 2016 by SixxChick

[freebird31]

Feeling better. I guess what awoken led the pain was when my ex reached out to me to apologize. I guess it just made me think about the past again and reminded me of the rejection. But it's been about 2 months since that conversation/ apology. I feel a little bit better. I blocked him. And it's better now that i don't know what's going on his life. Also, I was really realizing something the other day. How much I have grown since we were together in a relationship 3 years ago. The core of who I am is stil the same. But I've grown a lot and learned a lot. By losing my best friend, and also my first boyfriend and love, it forced me to grow and to be strong. Even though there were times when it was hard I still managed. I mean yes I made mistakes and I had a few slip ups but I'm human. For the most part, I take pride in how gracefully I handled all of this. I kept going even though these were the darkest times of my life. It forced me to be independent too. To this day, I am still learning to be more self-reliant to be less dependent on others. I used to mope around when I didn't have anyone to go places with or go on adventures with. I had no one to do these things with, so I never did them, causing me to feel so sad. The other night I went to a concert by myself and to be honest it was liberating. Time flies by so fast. And if I can't find anyone interested in doing the same things I want to do, I'm not going to let it hold me back anymore. I can do them alone and there is nothing wrong with that. I used to feel like I was a loser. But I don't care anymore. Because I know who i am. I'm not a loser. I'm a true friend who just unfortunately went through some rough experiences and lost close people in my life. But oh well. That shouldn't stop me from doing things I enjoy. One thing I learned from a friend I met last year is that life and happiness has a lot to do with your attitude. It's what you make of it. It sounds so cliche. But it is true. You have to make the most of every moment. This entire past year I mostly just moped around. Didn't do much. Would lay in bed all day and my day was gone. This past month I forced myself to go to the beach even when I didn't feel like doing anything. I just forced myself and I began to realize how beautiful and relaxing it was and how I had been missing out all along just because I was afraid to go alone. Who cares! Thankfully now I have a puppy, my most loyal companion to share these experiences with. So everything is going to be okay. There are times when I slip up. And every single time is because of reminders or my ex popping back into my life. And I just think that I can and will do so much better once I get him off my mind.

 

Another thing I realized was how much I have grown as I mentioned above. When I reflect back on my ex and I, I think back and three years ago I was just a kid. I feel like I'm different and more grown in a lot of ways. I'm not the same girl anymore you know. So if I were to ever get into another relationship, this time around I would be more wise. It makes me feel a lot better at far I have come physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Literally in all ways. I feel more beautiful than ever. I really do I'm so happy in my skin. I don't think I have ever felt this way when I was with my ex. Now I really do feel gorgeous. Inside and out. Any man would be lucky to have me. Emotionally I have grown I am more wise as I said. I'm stronger and I am able to be more independent now. Also as these years progressed I realized one amazing thing about myself. How passionately and unconditionally I can love someone and that has been probably the most beautiful thing I came to learn about myself. Spiritually, I feel more liberated. Free and I can feel it in my heart and my soul how life is changing day by day for me. This is just the beginning. I can't imagine how much more beautiful life will be revealed to be. Mentally, well not just mental health. But as for my career goals which is one of the biggest goals in my life, I am getting closer every day. It took a long road and I am about halfway there. It makes me feel so happy. To be productive. And to know that my productivity is going to take me to where I want to be.

 

So I know everything is going to be okay. 3 years is a long time. I don't think I'm the same girl that my ex was in a relationship with. In a way I wish he could have witnessed all the beautiful changes. But I know I may not have went through this growth and lessons had I didn't have this painful trial/breakup with my ex. So in a way, the breakup and bad experience helped me to become who I am right now. So maybe it is a blessing in disguise. So maybe it was a gift. Yes it was so painful. And sometimes it aches. But overall I realized the beauty in my self. And I think that is the most precious gift.

 

I know I will be okay. If I continue to live my life. With no peep from my ex. It had to be this way unfortunately. Maybe one day in the future when all of this blows over and time has really faded everything and I'm truly over this, I will run into my ex. And it will be okay. We can have a sweet short conversation and look back at the good times. And it won't be painful. After all we are from the same city. It is bound to happen one day.

[Wilde_Silas]

As I previously explained in an earlier post, I lost the best thing to ever happen to me because of my anxiety and depression and retreating into my 'bubble' randomly over a period of 3 years and constantly pushed her away. She finally had enough and walked away. I don't blame her. I really ****ed up over time and reaped the consequences and she deserved better. But I have resolved to become a better person which I realise will take years. To that end, I am working on my physical fitness (running and cycling) and have re-engaged with counselling to fight the mental aspect. I will beat this.

 

One of the things that was suggested to me by my counsellor was to right down my random thoughts as and when they enter my head to assist with my recovery/self improvement. Most of these involve my ex obviously. Here's the first few I jotted down.

 

New air freshener diffuser opened and placed on the mantlepiece. Back to the apple & cinnamon fragrance I first bought when I moved into my new house last Autumn. The fragrance takes me back to happy times of you staying over at mine when we were closer and I was hoping I had turned a corner with my 'problems'...

 

Came home yesterday and turned on the tv to see a movie on starring Alicia Silverstone. God she looks so much like you it's uncanny. Stomach went into knots and I had to turn it off.

 

The Cardigans 'My Favourite Game' came on the radio at work. The lyrics hit home hard as they just summed things up perfectly from your point of view of what you were going through with me.

I don't know what you're looking for

You haven't found it baby, that's for sure

You rip me up and spread me all around

In the dust of the deed of time

 

And this is not a case of lust, you see

It's not a matter of you versus me

It's fine the way you want me on your own

But in the end it's always me alone

 

And I'm losing my favorite game

You're losing your mind again

I'm losing my baby

Losing my favorite game

 

I only know what I've been working for

Another you so I could love you more

I really thought that I could take you there

But my experiment is not getting us anywhere

 

I had a vision I could turn you right

A stupid mission and a lethal fight

I should have seen it when my hope was new

My heart is black and my body is blue

 

And I'm losing my favorite game

You're losing your mind again

I'm losing my favorite game

You're losing your mind again

I'm losing my baby

Losing my favorite game

 

I'm losing my favorite game

You're losing your mind again

I've tried

I've tried

But you're still the same

I'm losing my baby

You're losing a savior and a saint

 

 

More to follow...

[Trinity_84]

Feeling better. I guess what awoken led the pain was when my ex reached out to me to apologize. I guess it just made me think about the past again and reminded me of the rejection. But it's been about 2 months since that conversation/ apology. I feel a little bit better. I blocked him. And it's better now that i don't know what's going on his life. Also, I was really realizing something the other day. How much I have grown since we were together in a relationship 3 years ago. The core of who I am is stil the same. But I've grown a lot and learned a lot. By losing my best friend, and also my first boyfriend and love, it forced me to grow and to be strong. Even though there were times when it was hard I still managed. I mean yes I made mistakes and I had a few slip ups but I'm human. For the most part, I take pride in how gracefully I handled all of this. I kept going even though these were the darkest times of my life. It forced me to be independent too. To this day, I am still learning to be more self-reliant to be less dependent on others. I used to mope around when I didn't have anyone to go places with or go on adventures with. I had no one to do these things with, so I never did them, causing me to feel so sad. The other night I went to a concert by myself and to be honest it was liberating. Time flies by so fast. And if I can't find anyone interested in doing the same things I want to do, I'm not going to let it hold me back anymore. I can do them alone and there is nothing wrong with that. I used to feel like I was a loser. But I don't care anymore. Because I know who i am. I'm not a loser. I'm a true friend who just unfortunately went through some rough experiences and lost close people in my life. But oh well. That shouldn't stop me from doing things I enjoy. One thing I learned from a friend I met last year is that life and happiness has a lot to do with your attitude. It's what you make of it. It sounds so cliche. But it is true. You have to make the most of every moment. This entire past year I mostly just moped around. Didn't do much. Would lay in bed all day and my day was gone. This past month I forced myself to go to the beach even when I didn't feel like doing anything. I just forced myself and I began to realize how beautiful and relaxing it was and how I had been missing out all along just because I was afraid to go alone. Who cares! Thankfully now I have a puppy, my most loyal companion to share these experiences with. So everything is going to be okay. There are times when I slip up. And every single time is because of reminders or my ex popping back into my life. And I just think that I can and will do so much better once I get him off my mind.

 

Another thing I realized was how much I have grown as I mentioned above. When I reflect back on my ex and I, I think back and three years ago I was just a kid. I feel like I'm different and more grown in a lot of ways. I'm not the same girl anymore you know. So if I were to ever get into another relationship, this time around I would be more wise. It makes me feel a lot better at far I have come physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Literally in all ways. I feel more beautiful than ever. I really do I'm so happy in my skin. I don't think I have ever felt this way when I was with my ex. Now I really do feel gorgeous. Inside and out. Any man would be lucky to have me. Emotionally I have grown I am more wise as I said. I'm stronger and I am able to be more independent now. Also as these years progressed I realized one amazing thing about myself. How passionately and unconditionally I can love someone and that has been probably the most beautiful thing I came to learn about myself. Spiritually, I feel more liberated. Free and I can feel it in my heart and my soul how life is changing day by day for me. This is just the beginning. I can't imagine how much more beautiful life will be revealed to be. Mentally, well not just mental health. But as for my career goals which is one of the biggest goals in my life, I am getting closer every day. It took a long road and I am about halfway there. It makes me feel so happy. To be productive. And to know that my productivity is going to take me to where I want to be.

 

So I know everything is going to be okay. 3 years is a long time. I don't think I'm the same girl that my ex was in a relationship with. In a way I wish he could have witnessed all the beautiful changes. But I know I may not have went through this growth and lessons had I didn't have this painful trial/breakup with my ex. So in a way, the breakup and bad experience helped me to become who I am right now. So maybe it is a blessing in disguise. So maybe it was a gift. Yes it was so painful. And sometimes it aches. But overall I realized the beauty in my self. And I think that is the most precious gift.

 

I know I will be okay. If I continue to live my life. With no peep from my ex. It had to be this way unfortunately. Maybe one day in the future when all of this blows over and time has really faded everything and I'm truly over this, I will run into my ex. And it will be okay. We can have a sweet short conversation and look back at the good times. And it won't be painful. After all we are from the same city. It is bound to happen one day.

 

I love this post!

[Traceycprc]

I had a really bad day yesterday even though I had a bit of a pamper day. I had my hair trimmed and coloured and then had my nails done. I'm always thinking what is he up to, does he even miss me? I know the answer to both, he has moved on with someone new. My heart aches, I'm so sad and I just want the pain to pass. I woke up to day 6 NC, and all I want to do is contact him, just to ease this pain. My head knows it will make things worse, so I'm trying to stay strong. I hate mornings waking up to my loss, but then I think what have I lost exactly? I miss the love and affection but that was gone from him some time ago, it went elsewhere. I just wish my stupid heart would get over this and listen to my head a bit more! I just want time to pass now and recover. I'm working on me and I know that one day I will make it out stronger, I need to keep going through not looking for a shortcut or a way round!

[JollyDays]

I had a really bad day yesterday even though I had a bit of a pamper day. I had my hair trimmed and coloured and then had my nails done. I'm always thinking what is he up to, does he even miss me? I know the answer to both, he has moved on with someone new. My heart aches, I'm so sad and I just want the pain to pass. I woke up to day 6 NC, and all I want to do is contact him, just to ease this pain. My head knows it will make things worse, so I'm trying to stay strong. I hate mornings waking up to my loss, but then I think what have I lost exactly? I miss the love and affection but that was gone from him some time ago, it went elsewhere. I just wish my stupid heart would get over this and listen to my head a bit more! I just want time to pass now and recover. I'm working on me and I know that one day I will make it out stronger, I need to keep going through not looking for a shortcut or a way round!

 

Always remember that each day you wake up is an additional day that you've conquered your demons. STAY STRONG!

[eternalspotless]

I thought I was coping well today, but I am starting to go down in mood. I'm starting to worry about how I will fill my days, and I am starting to compare my life to hers in that she is much more busy, and probably finds this easier than I do.

 

As the day goes on and I haven't heard from her, I feel worse. I feel like she can't even spare a second to contact me (I don't know what I'd want the message/call to be about, though).

 

I'm starting to dread the weekend as that is when she'd come over, and although I have invited a friend over, I can't cuddle or kiss a friend.

 

I promised myself I would go NC from today, but I just want to message her so badly. I miss her so much. She just doesn't seem to care, although she keeps insisting that she does.

[NIGHT1985]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I keep breaking NC, when each time it's worse and worse. I try to settle for friendship and I end up asking for more which pissed her off. I asked her yesterday if she really saw her future with him and not with me. I told her that going for a guy that left his wife for her cannot possibly end well, which I shouldn't of done, since it's not my business. She called me and told me I'm never gonna change I'm always gonna hurt people around me, and maybe she's right...

 

I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to carry on with life, but at the same time I'm too much of a coward to end my life. I just I could just vanish

[Traceycprc]

I really feel your pain and it's taken all that I have got, and the support from here not to contact me ex, for the exact reasons you are feeling now. It's crazy isn't it these intense feelings of loss, the longing, the not wanting to carry on. I have read so many times you will get clarity if you step back from the situation so that's what I'm trying to do. As much as it hurts, as difficult as it is, please try and take that step back. It kills me to think of my ex with his new partner, never mind discuss it with my ex. I have cut off everything, I have no idea what he is doing in his life anymore and it brings me a tiny bit of peace. Lets do it together OK, step back and get that much needed clarity, for your own sanity at least, it's time to heal and move on.

 

 

 

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I keep breaking NC, when each time it's worse and worse. I try to settle for friendship and I end up asking for more which pissed her off. I asked her yesterday if she really saw her future with him and not with me. I told her that going for a guy that left his wife for her cannot possibly end well, which I shouldn't of done, since it's not my business. She called me and told me I'm never gonna change I'm always gonna hurt people around me, and maybe she's right...

 

I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to carry on with life, but at the same time I'm too much of a coward to end my life. I just I could just vanish

[Traceycprc]

Feeling OKish today, not like previous mornings where I had woke up anxious and feeling alone. Still maintaining NC and as tough as it is, I think it is helping. I have a internal job interview today for a grade up. There are lots of people going for it, that have been with the company a lot longer! I'm not feeling my confident self lately, but I have to try and put that aside and just do my best. I would have been calling him this morning and he would have told me how amazing I am and that I would be brilliant. But I just need to tell myself that now, and just get on with it, this is about me. The NC is about me, moving forward and healing. I have accepted the relationship is over, no games, it's all about me and my heart. I'm feeling a bit stronger today, after the waves of high emotion, the crying the longing, I feel a bit calmer. I know i could wake up again tomorrow all anxious but today I'm going to enjoy the calm for a change

[keiji]

What a roller-coaster. Last week I was feeling quite down, which I guess is normal considering I learnt she's with someone else. This week I barely think of her and I almost feel like I couldn't care less. I'd like to think that discovery was a definite turning point, and I actually do, but I need to be cautious because this road has been full of ups and sudden downs for no apparent reason.

 

Also, I feel that my self-esteem has been quite low recently. I don't know if it's connected to her or not, but that's the truth. I'm supposed to be smart, I'm supposed to be quite attractive (or so they say), I have a good life, great friends, lovely family, I'm respected in my professional field, etc, but still not loving myself as much as I should.

[eternalspotless]

My mood constantly switches between OK and not OK at all. I have been keeping up with exercise and socialising, but there are still many moments that I think of her. I really want to lie in bed and cry, but if I do that I will lose my sanity.

 

I desperately miss physical contact, and that is the hardest part. You know when you get used to a partner, and all your little in-bed routines? It's those that I am struggling with not having, any more.

[Traceycprc]

I had a good day, survived my interview and after so many days of anguish a little calm, but my mind still drifts to him. He just sent me a breadcrumb text message asking how I am? I haven't replied, don't intend to. Maybe he is bored, maybe he feels guilty, maybe she is in the next room? Go and get an ego stroke from someone else, it ain't happening from me! Glad I'm not feeling weak today, you caught me on a good day, and tomorrow even if I wake up crying, I won't reply I deserve so much more!

[TheSwanGirl]

Can someone just hear me out?

 

Tomorrow July 7th it will be his birthday. First time in six years I'm not the first one to tell him how much I love him and "happy birthday!" I used to make special things to celebrate his day. I always bought him a book, it was "our thing".

 

I'm sutrggling. This monday I gave a box full of his stuff to his sister. She told me she misses me and her family as well. Now I have no strings. It's been almost 70 days NC... And in an hour and a half it will be his birthday... 26 years. I always imagined I would celebrate this one with him too...

 

I wish I could call him and tell him "happy birthday, I miss you, I hope you're happy". But it just hurts. A date it's just that: a date.

 

My anxiety is coming back tonight. I just wanna pass out. More than 6 months out of the relationship... Woah. More than six months... Tonight is rough. Tomorrow will be worst...

 

Any advice?

 

(No worries, I won't break NC).

 

Thanks!

[topher]

Can someone just hear me out?

 

Tomorrow July 7th it will be his birthday. First time in six years I'm not the first one to tell him how much I love him and "happy birthday!" I used to make special things to celebrate his day. I always bought him a book, it was "our thing".

 

I'm sutrggling. This monday I gave a box full of his stuff to his sister. She told me she misses me and her family as well. Now I have no strings. It's been almost 70 days NC... And in an hour and a half it will be his birthday... 26 years. I always imagined I would celebrate this one with him too...

 

I wish I could call him and tell him "happy birthday, I miss you, I hope you're happy". But it just hurts. A date it's just that: a date.

 

My anxiety is coming back tonight. I just wanna pass out. More than 6 months out of the relationship... Woah. More than six months... Tonight is rough. Tomorrow will be worst...

 

Any advice?

 

(No worries, I won't break NC).

 

Thanks!

 

I sense you're trying to keep hope alive by sentimentalizing the past.

 

Maintain some distance between yourself and memories of the relationship because that's how you'll create space for yourself to exist. Have appreciation for all the good times you've shared, but don't indulge in the past. It's not going to bring him back.

 

As you say, "It's just a date."

You're removed from his life. Now live yours.

[sorano]

I started to try and date again. Been trying to go out and talk to women. Just seems the ones I am attracted to, shut me down and have no interest. I go for the european look. Dark hair, thick, tan skin. Greek or italian style.

 

Its kind of a blow to my ego, but I just dust myself off and keep trying. I won't lie, I was feeling a bit down tonight thinking about that. My ex was beautiful. she really was. But looks arent everything. Rejection does suck. But at the same time I say to myself, ok you are not interested. Your lose. You probably wont ever now what kind of a man I am. oh well, later.

 

sorano 2.0 is almost done. Little things that are missing but I am coming along. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. I know its going to be ok. There is no race here on getting a gf or getting married. I came to terms that, if it happens, fine. If not, then so be it. I don't mind staying single forever. Its ok. Its all going to be ok.

[Densel]

Can someone just hear me out?

 

Tomorrow July 7th it will be his birthday. First time in six years I'm not the first one to tell him how much I love him and "happy birthday!" I used to make special things to celebrate his day. I always bought him a book, it was "our thing".

 

I'm sutrggling. This monday I gave a box full of his stuff to his sister. She told me she misses me and her family as well. Now I have no strings. It's been almost 70 days NC... And in an hour and a half it will be his birthday... 26 years. I always imagined I would celebrate this one with him too...

 

I wish I could call him and tell him "happy birthday, I miss you, I hope you're happy". But it just hurts. A date it's just that: a date.

 

My anxiety is coming back tonight. I just wanna pass out. More than 6 months out of the relationship... Woah. More than six months... Tonight is rough. Tomorrow will be worst...

 

Any advice?

 

(No worries, I won't break NC).

 

Thanks!

 

WOW. I am more than 6months out of the relationship too and my birthday is in 3 days.

 

Of cause I wish my ex will send me a text but even if I do receive one, I will scratch my head and think if it's a breadcrumb.

 

A question, why did you give his stuff back days before his birthday?

 

Ps. My ex still has my stuff and I still have hers.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

Yesterday was a tough time for me. Cried my eyes out as I threw everything away.

 

Deleted pictures from phone and computer, threw all post cards, birthday wishes, gifts and stuff in the bin.

 

Yesterday was the day we started dating! I remember it still even though I know for her it means nothing now. She did so wrong by me yet I feel like an idiot loving so much a person that did that to me. I feel like a messed up person in the head you know..

 

When I came to my apartment where we made love and watched movies generally spending time together as in nobody around switched off phones etc. before I got to close the door behind me when I entered, tears ran down my eyes so fast I wasn't able to react. I started crying uncontrollably as I collected her stuff she left.

 

When I saw our toothbrushes I cried even more. I had to sit down and calm myself alone in my apartment as I was nearly done collecting everything. I threw them away too.

 

...

 

I cry less now. Still feeling the pain. Parents are going out of their mind that I will turn to depression and harming myself constantly yell at me for being stupid loving a person that called me names yet why I feel so much warmth and love for her still is beyond me. I guess I am doing alright

 

...

 

I guess...

[keiji]

Today I'm going to a concert that I would have definitely attended with her (next Monday it's her birthday, so it was the perfect present). Patti Smith is performing "our record" tonight, but instead I'll go with an ex-girlfriend I have a great friendship with. It will be a bit weird, but I'll try to enjoy it as much as possible. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of bumping into her with her new boyfriend, but gut feeling tells me she won't be there. That guy isn't as nearly as cool as me, so he'll get her a bottle of cheap perfume and a bouquet that will die in 24h under this heat. Loser

[Traceycprc]

Well I was pipped to the post with the new job, it was really close but she just had more experience! I was disappointed but I have only been in the job 4 months, so maybe I was being a bit optomistic anyway The text from my ex still sits in my inbox, I will delete it, I'm not interested in replying. I'm still sad and I miss him, but I'm moving on, I have accepted there is no way back. Even if he begged and said it was a huge mistake and he loved me, no sorry, too late. I have had my eyes opened to his bull****, NC gives you clarity. I'm using NC to heal, and it does work! It's the hardest thing in the world but it's bringing me peace. Do it for you, go NC and move on, you just have to accept however painful it is, there is now way back. Do you really want to go back? With clarity you will realise no!

[TheSwanGirl]

I sense you're trying to keep hope alive by sentimentalizing the past.

 

Maintain some distance between yourself and memories of the relationship because that's how you'll create space for yourself to exist. Have appreciation for all the good times you've shared, but don't indulge in the past. It's not going to bring him back.

 

As you say, "It's just a date."

You're removed from his life. Now live yours.

 

No no no, it's not that. I don't have any hope left. But the past hurts, and I just want to erase him completely from my mind. Today is a tough day, but I've been doing so well during one month and a half...

 

Thank you for your advice, I think I just overthink about the past... And I'm having sorry for myself the whole time! Thanks for the reply!!!

[TheSwanGirl]

WOW. I am more than 6months out of the relationship too and my birthday is in 3 days.

 

Of cause I wish my ex will send me a text but even if I do receive one, I will scratch my head and think if it's a breadcrumb.

 

A question, why did you give his stuff back days before his birthday?

 

Ps. My ex still has my stuff and I still have hers.

 

Hang in there! If IF your ex (don't expect anything, don't have hope) calls you, texts you or tries any kind of contact, WILL BE a breadcrumb for sure. They just want to feel better as a person.

 

I gave his sister his stuff because she just came back from a trip and before that she was studying really hard for her finals. She was the one who contacted me and set the date that day, so I wasn't really thinking of his birthday when I gave her his stuff. I don't want to have a box full of memories... I already have my head that constantly reminds me of that.

 

How are you coping? I wish you the best. Good luck on your birthday!

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

I am doing better today. Seems Wednesday was a turning point for me as I cried my eyes out then.

 

A good thing is that I don't feel that pain in my chest anymore. I bet NC and not checking any photos keep that at bay. I am afraid to check my pics in FB as I know I have albums together. Probably should delete them too but they are locked anyway so I can wait awhile once I am healed to have the strength to look at them.

 

I am afraid I will see something accidentally and go back to square one feel that nasty feeling in my chest, start crying uncontrollably again. But if I don't and I continue feeling as I am feeling today

 

I think the healing process will be so much faster. When you put your thoughts together on why the relationship ended and realize your and your partner's mistakes you are making progress. It may be brief but for now it is working. I still feel angry and sad at the same time.

 

I feel uncertain of the future, I still miss her, I still feel vulnerable and scared but I am coping.

 

I feel I am progressing!

[Densel]

TheSwanGirl,

 

I would say I am not feeling good, getting through the day as usual but as my birthday gets nearer I feel more uncomfortable.

 

Don't you think it's weird to return his stuff after so many months?

 

Why would he need his stuff now when he can do without for the past few months?

 

So did you text him?

[toastytiger]

Can someone just hear me out?

 

Tomorrow July 7th it will be his birthday. First time in six years I'm not the first one to tell him how much I love him and "happy birthday!" I used to make special things to celebrate his day. I always bought him a book, it was "our thing".

 

I'm sutrggling. This monday I gave a box full of his stuff to his sister. She told me she misses me and her family as well. Now I have no strings. It's been almost 70 days NC... And in an hour and a half it will be his birthday... 26 years. I always imagined I would celebrate this one with him too...

 

I wish I could call him and tell him "happy birthday, I miss you, I hope you're happy". But it just hurts. A date it's just that: a date.

 

My anxiety is coming back tonight. I just wanna pass out. More than 6 months out of the relationship... Woah. More than six months... Tonight is rough. Tomorrow will be worst...

 

Any advice?

 

(No worries, I won't break NC).

 

Thanks!

 

Hey! Hope you are doing okay today. And you're totally right, today is just a day. Just another Thursday in July.

6 months is a long time and so is 70 days NC. Keep it up! (I haven't even managed to do NC yet)

 

It comes in waves, I know. You'll go lengthy periods of feeling great and then, the smallest thing can bring back a flood of memories -- how things use to be... what things would be like if you were still together with him... etc. Just remember it's a constant accepting of what is happening now and that you know it's over for good reasons.

 

Also, surrendering to those feelings helps to let it pass through. You've moved past difficult emotions in the past and you will again now. Next July 7th, you probably won't even bat an eye.

 

This is day to celebrate YOU and your new life, not him.