How are you coping today?

[Wuku]

It's 6 months today since we split up. 6 months since I last spoke to or saw her, and 3 months since last contact. I feel a lot more positive than I did then. I still think about her daily, but only now and then, she is no longer the first thing on my mind in the morning, or the last thing at night. I don't think of her in the same way either as I used to. I don't expect or want her back and no longer care if that happened or not. I feel free from a very broken relationship, and can see that it couldn't carry on like that anymore. I'm becoming happier, and settling into my new single life. I'm used to being on my own, always have been, so no more tears for her. I still have moments of sadness, but I'm much better than I was. There are so many things I need to do to move forward with my life, and she doesn't even figure into them. Just need to keep moving in the right direction!

[BelleSkye]

Having a lot of adventures in my life right now and new distracting dramas...but miss sharing my day with him.... No one still compares to him (especially looks wise)....life is lonely and the 'quality' of my life is questionable. I miss having that purpose in life to make someone else happy. I hate feeling that I am not physically attractive enough to be good enough for him....or at least for him to try a bit harder to treat me well.

 

If I ever decide to pull the plug - it will be because I'm not good enough...no because how he treated me throughout all these years. Self Realisation is killing me here.

[keiji]

I just realized it's been five months since I last saw her. Yesterday I discovered she's with someone else. I expected today to be awful, but it's been great. Yesterday a friend showed up at my door with beers at 11pm (the Spanish way of life). I told him what happened and He was really supportive, as usual. It feels great to know that you have friends who love you.

 

Today I decided I'd devote the day to myself, so I didn't work, bought records and clothes and spent the afternoon with friends at the beach. I'm not sad. I don't know why, but I'm not. Actually, I feel like it was the best that could happen to me. There's nothing to think about anymore. She replaced me and whether he's a rebound or not, it's not my business. She ended up with a 23-year old guy. She'll be 29 in two weeks. And he's balding. Come on.

 

Last week someone said to me: "you are an extraordinary person". That filled me with joy. I hope it's true. I'll do my best to honor that statement.

[Darkeyy]

Got my bachelor degree, everyone is happy for me, i'm also happy but got an empty feeling because she's not there to celebrate with me.

Completed it mostly to have a good future with her but that's not going to happen now.

 

I hope her new 'shiny toy' turns out to be a complete bust. That the relationship is nothing compared to what we had. That she will feel miserable.

 

 

I'm just hoping karma bites her hard in the near future. Very hard!

[Sunnymae]

I'm feeling surprisingly emotionally stable today. I didn't feel the usual anxiety, or sadness. I've been reading about limerence, and also went to SLAA meeting. If Icould only stay this way. I just want to feel like this from hence forward. I'm also taking a supplement that supposably helps with depression. I mean I still think about him. But at least he wasn't the first thing I thought about.

[freebird31]

You can have him. I'm tired of this. Perhaps me and my ex were never even compatible. And I just wasted 3 years grieving over a relationship that would have failed anyway down the line. When I was in a relationship with him, i just wanted to spend all of my time with him. There was a time when we both even had winter break about a month and a half off of school. And we saw each other every single day of that winter break. It didn't seem like a problem at first. It seemed as if we both enjoyed each other's company. You, even as well wanted to be with me all the time. We did a lot of things together. And it was even the most mundane things with you that were the most fun. We didn't have to go on crazy adventures of do anything out of the oridinary. For me, just being in your presence was enough to keep my fulfilled and happy. I wish we had gone to more places together. Done more things with one another. All we ever did was go to the movies. I wish we had went on more runs. And hikes. And explored the city and different eateries and different beaches. But we didn't. Like I said just being with you....you and me, together...felt like an adventure itself. Going to the grocery store with you or taking a drive with you or going to our bookstore and sipping on coffee were some of the best times of my life. I miss you. It is what it is. As fast as our relationship escalated, it disintegrated too. You no longer had the time like you used to, literally. You had gotten a job and didn't have time to see me as much. I felt so distant. So far away from you. My jealousy took over. I was over emotional. I pushed you away by being so clingy. I should have just understood it and let it be. But you felt so far away. I didn't even know if you were still in arms reach anymore. I rarely saw you towards the end. It caused fights. It caused me to lash out. I just wanted to see more of you but I should have understood. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I made mistakes too. We were so good, so happy in the beginning before all of that happened. Suddenly it just took a wrong turn. So suddenly. And it ended. Even after all of these years it hurts too much to be your friend. How I wish I could be your friend at the least. You're with someone new now. I don't know what else to feel anymore. I think have felt every single emotion you could possibly feel, all these different emotions over the years for just one person. One experience. It's sad. I wasted 3 years of my energy and my heart being hung up on you. I don't know why I did it. Things aren't going as smoothly as I make them seem. I don't know if you know, but me and my best friend aren't friends anymore. Actually we stopped being apart of each other's life a little after you and I broke up. It was hard. So hard to get through everything, this, alone. With minimal support. I lost you. And then a best friend. I didn't think I'd ever stop feeling the pain I was feeling at the time. The pain has faded now. But I still think of you sometimes. Of who I was when I was with you. Who I used to be. Who that girl was. Sometimes I can't recognize myself. Because I'm not the same. But still am the same at the same time. If that even makes sense. Sometimes I feel really alone. It's not always easy. Because often times, truth is I really am alone. I don't have the life I used to have when I was with you, or even before you. I don't know how to feel about that. Sadness I guess. Although I feel sadness sometimes I do feel empowered. Like I got this far, I can still keep on. But like I said. Sometimes it gets too lonely. I don't know how people can have so many friends. And surround themselves with so many people. When at the end of the day these "friends" don't even know your deepest darkest secrets. I like my friendships to have real meaning. But to be honest I don't have too many of those kinds of friends. Often, they are busy. And I find myself alone again. Can you see now why it has been so hard? Why I held on so tight ? Why sometimes I cry. I think it is because more often than not, I just feel alone. I am alone. Why would you want to be with the pathetic alone girl ? Perhaps someone else won't see it that way. I just think I'm doing better at being independent maybe. I don't know.

[sorano]

so today was supposed to be the first wedding that my ex and I were supposed to go to. she bought a dress, she was happy, was going to get her hair done, etc etc. You know the deal.

 

I feel ok. I thought I was going to feel really bad but I don't. Im actually looking forward to going. It just goes to show you that time really does heal. You can start to think rational when those emotions start to dwindle down and you finally realize she was not for me. I do not need liars, fake people and heartless people in my life.

 

so yea, I am going to go have fun. smoke a cigar, have my gin and tonic, check out some single women and to my heartless ex aka the beast, I am glad that you are not with me and coming with me to this event. You did me a favor. so thank you beast and have a nice day =)

[TheSwanGirl]

Woah, I was doing really great for over a month, and last night, you and her came to my dreams. Scumbag brain... I feel down today. But after a whole month of feeling okay, I think it's a little storm that will pass. I hope soon-

[urmysong]

Today I was playing volleybal with my cousins and sister. Not a minute that I think about You. But now I am home, I'm fighting myself not to think of You, but why no matter how I stopped, still You came into my mind. Our son is 99% of Your face and everytime I see him, I can see You...I don't know what to do anymore, I really want to forget You...

[Trinity_84]

Doing pretty pretty good lately.

 

I had to contact my ex recently in order to sort out somethings of theirs that I need to send back, but for reasons I cannot control, I couldn't. I figured the polite thing was to let them know.

 

Funny, I feel at least 65-70% over the whole thing, but my hands shook a bit after I hit "send", I felt a bit nervous (even though I can honestly say it's not a "will they reply?" anxiousness, it's mostly a "I am contacting them in a mature, polite way, this is so weird!"). Last time we had contact was over 3 months ago.

[Densel]

Watched a drama last night on tv. The guy in the show reflects my feelings and made me cry.

 

Went to bed , dreamt of my ex. Felt ****ty today.

[keiji]

Two awful days here. I'm feeling quite anxious and dull. I feel sleepy during the day and I can barely sleep at night. Discovering she's with someone else has hit me hard, but I'm clinging to the idea that it's the last blow. I know it is, but right now I feel quite disillusioned about everything. I think it's a cumulation of things more than the awful discovery itself. Still lots of work left for me.

[Gemini_jo]

Wish I could listen to this song with you one last time. Even though it's already been over 2 years.

 

[SixxChick]

So, I broke no contact yesterday and went on Fakeb**k. Fortunately, I am no worse for the wear. Like you are the first person to take a screen-shot of the weather? That's all you've got going on? The weather? Yeah, we all know it is hot. Good luck with all of your two "likes". Because that's all you've got, you loser. Just keep those monthly payments coming.

[TheSwanGirl]

Summer means you, means blink-182, means vacations with you. First summer without you. Next week will be your birthday... First time in six years that I'm not the one to tell you "happy birthday, I love you" at 12 am.

 

I'm having a ****ty day, really. But this will pass. I know.

[sorano]

All these little storms will pass. Its all going to be ok.

[peonyrose]

You idiot, you total idiot. What have you done? You made such a big mistake. I still worry about you. Your 50 in a couple of weeks, and you had that awful health scare in January I was sick with worry, I cried alone when you were in hospital, I was strong with you, but I even cried with you. I never ever wanted anything but the best for you, I changed so much to make us OK, but you should have understood I had 15 years I needed to catch up on to learn some of the stuff you did. I'm 35, I didn't know everything, I tried my damn best. I had my own pain, and yes you were my rock, so great but you left, you broke all those promises,.

 

You didn't know me like you said, you did. I know you might be gone for good after your trip home that your half way on a flight to now. I know you might never be back, it might be for the best, it seems you always run out on people who care, but god you swore in our years together, I was the one, the one you spent your life looking for, and here I am, and your gone. I still can't believe it.

 

I so hope you will be healthy and happy, not my job anymore. But I tried my best, my absolute best. And that I can promise.

[Trinity_84]

Today I've felt...anxious.

 

I found out through a horrible coincidence that very, very soon after we broke up, my now ex rekindled what I believe to be a "friendship" with their previous ex-partner.

 

While we were together, my partner always claimed I had helped them move on and they had no interest in remaining friends with this person. It's like my ex waited until I was out of the picture so they could really be themselves and friendly with this ex. I never, ever told my ex not to do this!

 

When my ex and I first started dating, they still harbored feelings for this ex. Now all my intuition and insecurities about my partner's feelings for them while we were together have automatically resurfaced.

[Sunnymae]

Only 7 weeks since our breakup, but it seems so much longer. I found a guy that's okay with just being friends, also going through a breakup. Im grateful I have such great friends to hang out with, and support from my family. I'll pull through this, just not sure how long it will take.

[Densel]

Met up with my best friend last night. Told her my birthday is next week and i feel kinda sad that the person i love will not spend the day with me.

 

My friend said she will spend the day with me instead of her boyfriend, i feel very touched and fortunate.

 

But I know my birthday will be another hurdle that I will need to get through.

 

Sucks.

[Traceycprc]

I woke up in so much pain this morning, the thoughts of him being with her is just killing me. They are just thoughts, I wish I could just stop thinking! I know I deserve so much more and I will make it through this, I just need time. My heart aches, and I can't stop crying this morning, I wish I was angry, angry at him for breaking so many promises, but most of all for breaking my heart. He was my best friend and now I feel alone. I don't hate him, I just wish he could have been honest with me, instead of lying when he said she meant nothing, it's now obvious she means everything. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. Mine wants you, but it will catch up to my brain. I won't contact you, as it will make things worse. Day 4 of NC, one day I will even lose track of how many days I haven't spoken to you, I welcome that day with open arms! Now to get on with my day, and to put one foot in front of the other.

[TheSwanGirl]

I woke up in so much pain this morning, the thoughts of him being with her is just killing me. They are just thoughts, I wish I could just stop thinking! I know I deserve so much more and I will make it through this, I just need time. My heart aches, and I can't stop crying this morning, I wish I was angry, angry at him for breaking so many promises, but most of all for breaking my heart. He was my best friend and now I feel alone. I don't hate him, I just wish he could have been honest with me, instead of lying when he said she meant nothing, it's now obvious she means everything. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. Mine wants you, but it will catch up to my brain. I won't contact you, as it will make things worse. Day 4 of NC, one day I will even lose track of how many days I haven't spoken to you, I welcome that day with open arms! Now to get on with my day, and to put one foot in front of the other.

 

Those day will come and pass. I swear to you, it will get better. I promise. Keep NC, please.

[peonyrose]

So your there and I'm here.. Who would have ever thought it. Certainly not me. And also my daughters on her holiday with her best friends family. So I'm 3 days into the week that you and me looked so forward to spending together, tomorrow was supposed to be the day we went to our hideaway hotel. But instead your in Germany, and I'm here and tomorrow I will be doing nothing fun, in fact meeting someone about sorting finances.

 

I must say when my daughter went to Spain 3 days ago, I nearly died with the silence in our home. There was no you, no her, just me. I was scared I can tell you, I cried like hell, I screamed for a few minutes. Its been a hard few days, but I've been OK. I enjoyed parts of it even. Since I had my girl nearly 16 years ago its the first week I've had to only "me". So I've been a bit lost, but I am OK. Before I would have filled it with nights out and partying. But not now, I just stayed quiet, I read, I watched movies, I had some wine in the evening. I walked to the city today and it was my first time there without you since we met, I felt a bit vulnerable or something, I don't know, bit lonely maybe, and I did cry a little but I did it.

 

Its been such a rollercoaster of emotions, so many changes, and scary parts. But I've found bits of me again in all of it. And I've learned I need find all of me again. So thank you for that.

[JollyDays]

Why, after nearly 12 years do I still think about you? I wish you never contacted me out of the blue 5 years ago, since I was doing so well for about 7 years. I guess it was right that I shut the online 'conversation' down before it got started, but it led me down a path of depression wondering what might've been. Sorry for interrupting this forum, since I would assume it's for those who've had recent breakups, but I just wanted to vent. Goodbye everyone.

[Traceycprc]

Waking up to day 5 of NC. Yesterday was one of the hardest days yet, my thoughts torturing me, the urge to contact you it's strongest yet. I didn't reach out to contact you, I know it's just the pain, I want relief but I know contacting you will ease it for all of 10 seconds until you reject me again. I have to go through this pain, there is no short cut no way round just through. I love and miss you, I can't help it. I think back to when we were happy, but I need to remind myself of what you have done. I really hope she is worth it, don't ever contact me again because I'm moving on. I don't want you back I just don't want this pain anymore. I will get there one day, I just need to keep strong. This pain and anxiety can't last forever. Again I just try to get through this day, one day I will be living it again not just counting the days to this pain fading.