somedude81 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Insomnia again. Woke up at 4am thinking of her. I went to bed at 12. There is just a huge hole in my life.
jphcbpa Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Insomnia again. Woke up at 4am thinking of her. I went to bed at 12. There is just a huge hole in my life. Been happening with me too. A friend suggested reading. That has helped me fall back to sleep in 30 mins or so. Also another friend suggested praying for everyone I have ever know. This helps get my mind focused on something and someone else. Keeps me thinking of others and not me 1
H245 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Rough night and morning. Ended up having a weak moment and unblocked ex from FB, but I did NOT friend her again. Will need to wait 48 hours before I can re-block :/ Sad panda 1
JDPT Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Heading to the gym in a few, the morning looks pretty calm, just trying to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. 1
Matt4994 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I am glad to see I am not the only one suffering from the dreams. It has now been about two weeks without more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night. Decided to go take a core strengthening class this morning, helped a lot especially with the dreary fog that was outside. I will note I think the lack of sleep has made my feelings worse than they probably are. Going to try some herbal tea before bed tonight to see if it helps calm my mind. 1
jphcbpa Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 sunshine is out and that warms my soul. I am getting a physical done today so no coffee or food since midnight. I am being aware that lack of both will make me a little more emotional this morning. I have noticed HALT (hungry, angry, lonely or tired) when I get in one or more of these I need to self care. I get more emotional and need to realize one or more of those basic needs is not getting met and not make it about her. 2
AnyaNova Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Still doing well. Still happy. Loving the cleaned and vacuumed living room and bedroom. Can't wait to get he Kitchen and bathroom completely cleaned and organized! Still have energy. Still things are just seriously easy to do in a wy that they never were before. Still vaguely wish that my ex and I could have another chance. But if not, there will be another full meal with someone else. 3
John83 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Bad day today. Cant stop thinking of happy family memories, magical days we spent with kids at the beach or the zoo or soft play ect. Cannot believe will never share those times with my ex again. Dreading the weekly heartbreak of having to hand kids back and the emptyness when they are gone. Wish she would give it a chance.
margot13 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Not a great day. These last few days I thought I was doing really well. Today I feel as if I am back at the start of the BU.. So sad and tired.
somedude81 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Been happening with me too. A friend suggested reading. That has helped me fall back to sleep in 30 mins or so. Also another friend suggested praying for everyone I have ever know. This helps get my mind focused on something and someone else. Keeps me thinking of others and not me My ex actually suggested that I start reading before bed as I tended to have mild insomnia even when I was with her. She got me reading the Harry Potter series. After she dumped me, I couldn't bring myself to read them anymore. I have to think of something else to read. I'm certainly not going to pray to God. All I have from God is a feeling that He enjoys screwing me over.
H245 Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Tonight sucks. Spent the last 2 hours thinking about my ex and how she said she didn't care anymore about what she did or about me. I don't understand how someone can be so despicable
RightThere Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Man do I go up and down. Yesterday I was ready to lose my mind. Today I'm much more calm and content. Reading through the 180 again helped to set me straight as to how I should be conducting myself. Just need to focus on the positive things. Ignore the negative things. 2
AnyaNova Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Another beautiful day, great mood and enough energy to get more done in a couple of hours than I could in an entire day before. Still wish a little, but it is his loss that he chooses not to, and it is no big deal. And I have a few interesting possibilities out there. :-) I would feel bad about posting so many, "doing great" posts on this thread, except I think (I hope!) it helps all of you who are still in the struggling hard stage to hear that it really does get better! Because it really does. 2
Author Riou Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 More than half a year..a little nostglia,otherwise coping fine today.
iouaname Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Today, I'm angry at myself for my poor choices. The other day I just wanted to be good to myself but today I wonder if I'm just not a strong person. Things are rough and I feel like my judgment is clouded a lot of the time. It's frustrating that after a year, things can be so difficult for me still...
julzfromsa Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 going to make a concerted effort to have a good day. Force myself to smile, and i will be happy. I have no choice. I am a man of high value!
John83 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Today started absolutley dire, woke up feling so low. Got kids ready for school, my little princess wanted to be on daddys shoulders so i carried her while my son walked by our side. Weather is a bit brighter this morning and got a bit of a positive feeling that this will get better i hope it lasts. Busy helping a friend and doing some shopping rest of day so keeps mind occupied. I hope this present situation of me keeping the kids while she "sorts her head out"becomes permanant. I will always be ok as long as i have the kids around. 1
LLQ1986 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 FIRST day of NC... We broke up last Saturday; he confessed to me that he fell in love with another girl...and they are an item now- maybe not dating yet just texting and talking on the phone...i don't know. We were still talking as I'm due to see him early next month Lost my appetite, wasn't and still aren't sleeping well. Lost about 2kgs within a week. Though he cheated on me I'm not really angry, just sad. I have accepted that fact and learning to let go. I don't want him back. Because I know I can't.
RDawg Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Ow I am hurting now, having one of those waves of sadness, want to see her so badly. oh boy I am sobing. Just losing it. Man what is wrong with me again today? Lack of sleep I think. I know I will live but it is so frikken incredibly sad that she is gone and what I did to end it I never meant it and never wanted it like this. oh geez
Erlaad Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Day started okay, now going a bit low. It was self-imposed tough: I finally took the courage to delete the photos archived in my phone. Had to manually select all of them and then press "Delete". It was a kick on the head every single time, but I knew I had to do it eventually. That's the last remotely accessible tie I have with her, and now it's gone. Going to be hurt the whole day, but I did what I had to. Better now that further down the road. Week 3 of N.C. (take two) is gone. - Erl 1
love_pink Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Woke up in a pretty good mood. But something set me off and I thought about something stupid I did and started to cry. But I quickly regained myself and I'm alright now. Still thinking about him.... 1
Never Again Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Up and down. I'm either giving away or getting rid of anything connected to her. Gifts she gave me, things we bought together, the works. It's rough being diagnosed with a psychological condition, well after the relationship is over, that likely contributed to its downfall. I was suffering from insomnia for the two months before the breakup - constant sleep deprivation, and if I did sleep...I had horrible nightmares. I didn't talk about it because I didn't want to burden her. But, without sleep, everything about me slipped. Work smashed the personal boundaries I tried to set (the "we know you don't want to change your schedule and work overtime, but if you don't, you're fired") and I felt trapped because I couldn't get a new job. My self-esteem plummeted. I guess this was all really unattractive, and my ex just stopped feeling "it" for me. I stood by certain boundaries and convictions with her (I definitely had a couple moments of weakness where I cowered away from zingers she sent my way), but I wasn't ME anymore. I'm still not entirely me. I can fake it, but when left alone, the reality of my life comes crashing down on me again. I've never stopped working to climb out of this hole, but it's been tough gaining traction. 1
JDPT Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Calm morning so far. In school getting some work done. I intend to take advantage of this positive momentum for as long as it lasts. 2
AnyaNova Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Ugh. Migraine. Not unexpected, though if you know what I mean, given the only thing that really tends to cause them with me. On a usual day, I would keep on going since this tends to happen monthly, but since I am on break and can afford the luxury, I am sitting in a dark room with all the medication in me possible with an ice-pack to help my head. I've done all and am simply waiting for time to do its work. My friend is in trouble, and she is so many hours away from me. I cannot do much to help her except talk on the phone. I wish I could do more for her. And though school work must always take precedence so that I can move on to "real life" as fast as possible, I do wish to find someone.
freebird31 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Well the thing is lately..I just can't seem to feel anything anymore. It's going to be 9 months since we have been broken up, and I'm just getting over all the emotional turmoil I was going through. My life feels lifeless, but I think this is the part where I need to make it better. I no longer feel pain or any emotion really. I feel numbness and I still laugh and smile a lot , but I'm not really laughing inside. I just try to have a good attitude even though I don't feel happy deep down. My ex is becoming a faded memory. I wasn't trying to make this happen, but it just is.....he's just slipping from my Mind. I don't really feel much of anything anymore about him. I mean I don't know what it would be like to see him in person or talk to him again. I just know that right now...he is not really the first thing I think about anymore. These past few days I haven't been thinking of him much. I can't really understand why we were so close. I don't feel hurt anymore. I just feel nothing. I tried my best to hold onto him as long as possible but he's just slipping away. And I have no control. I don't even know who that person is anymore. He's someone I don't know anymore...I guess life is telling me to move on now...and I feel almost forced to let go...like I never agreed to move on...it's just happening. 3
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