How are you coping today?

[gbe2015]

I saw her at the realtors office to finalize selling the house.

 

I couldn't stop looking at her. I didn't realize how much I missed her. It's been almost a year.

 

We talked. We seemed to get along ok. She was friendly back to me. She almost cried a few times. I almost did too.

 

Afterwards as we left the building one of us asked if we could talk. We both agreed and went to a coffee shop.

 

We ended up talking for 3 hours. The conversation was all over the map. We laughed. We cried. We talked about the past, the breakup, the pending divorce, the lawyers. everything. I loved every minute of it. I felt so close to her. In sync with her just like I did before.

 

Then she told me again. She wants me to move on. Then she just went cold. She told me not to look at her that way. And then the conversation stopped. I could feel the change in air. I was stunned how everything changed in a second. I could feel her absence, her lack of feelings for me.

 

We left the coffee shop. She didn't say anything to me. We both walked towards our cars. I asked for a hug, she had a look of terror/disgust on her face. I said forget it and walked towards my car. I opened my door and said no, I want a hug and walked over to her. I said this will probably be the last time I will see you. She started to cry. I hugged her. She lightly hugged me back. I said take care and left. She said nothing.

 

Later I sent a text saying it was good to see and talk to her again. She didn't respond. The next day she texted and simply said she it was emotional for her and she needs to process what was said.

 

And she never mentioned it again.

 

And that's how she broke my heart again.

Edited April 17, 2016 by gbe2015

[StrangerThanFiction]

I haven't been on here in awhile but for some reason today I'm feeling really sad and missing him. Next month will make it a year since the break up. I'm definitely feeling so much better than I did back then. I still think about him sometimes but it's not all day, every day like it used to be. I can see myself having a life with someone else now. Haven't met that person yet though lol.

 

But yeah, like I said, I'm feeling sad today and sometimes writing about it can make me feel better.

[gbe2015]

Next month is a year for me too. That'll also be the month the divorce goes through (we need to wait a year in Canada).

 

I thought I was doing well. I've dated & met some great (and some crazy) women. I'm physically feeling good. But now emotionally I'm a mess. It's like all that effort over the last year just blew apart after looking at her for just a minute.

[thespacey1]

I've been ok for about 3-4 days. Going outdoors did your body good. However, I guess I'm still in the grading proceeds because I keep trying to preoccupy my thoughts and time things that bring me comfort and/or joy... Before ya know it, thoughts of him pop up in my head... Thoughts of things I wish I'd said to him and things we did together...

 

In progress...

[keiji]

I just realised Saturday will be 3 months since I last saw her and started strict NC. Turns out it's also St. George's Day, a wonderful festivity here in Catalonia. Couples buy roses and books to each other, the streets are full of flowers, bookstalls and people. The weather is usually fantastic. It's a festival of literature and romantic love. Last year I got her a book and a beautiful rose. I got from her an old London guide for a planned summer trip that never happened. My mum and grandma also got one rose each. This year, I'll get nothing. I'll have to stick to one rose for my mum, since my grandma is no longer with us. My favorite day of the year won't be a happy one this time, at least not as happy as it used to be. Seeing happy couples all around will be tough. I need to prepare for a crappy day.

[thespacey1]

•••Hi, I just re-read my list from late last night. I was so tired that I didn't check anything before posting. So here's the corrected version, sorry:•••

 

"I've been ok for about 3-4 days. Going outdoors DOES your body good. However, I guess I'm still in the GRADUAL HEALING PROCESS because I keep trying to preoccupy my thoughts and time WITH things that bring me comfort and/or joy... Before ya know it, thoughts of him AND OR BREAKUP pop up in my head... Thoughts of things I wish I'd said to him TO DEFEND MYSELF FURTHER and things we did together...

 

(we've been apart for almost a year+1/2 now. Though I've dated others since then I want to just forget about him so that I don't have these bad feelings and ruminations of things that don't even matter anymore. He was very angry at me for leaving him and he doesn't even realize how negatively the relationship affected me. Hence, I made sure I left in order to really take care of myself before I went completely insane.. I'm not perfect, but I love myself too much to try working & loving a man who refuses to admit he even has a problem.)"

 

Thanks for reading/re-reading,

...In progress...

[A11A]

Been a week since we broke up. Been a roller coaster the past few days. i didnt handle it as well as i could of course, but i didnt deserve the treatment i got from your friends either. I'm completely inexperienced at this break up stuff you being my first love and all, i'm a trusting person and mutual friends i thought i could trust going behind my back like that really hurt and obviously upset you. hearing that you never want to speak to me again hurts a lot though. I cant help but feel you panicked about long distance and our future which is what started all this.

 

We had a great time together we were very madly in love, but i care about you too much to ever consider being your friend, and after the last week it's highly unlikely we'll get back together. i'm just going to keep being me and i'm going to be awesome .

[Wuku]

Been laying awake all night thinking of her and making myself sad. We would have been together 6 years at the weekend. I would be incredibly surprised if she was doing the same, and I bet she's not, and it annoys me that it happens to me sometimes. Night time is the worse, I close my eyes to sleep and start to reminisce about the past and think about what should have been. At least during the day I no longer think of her constantly, and I notice I may have gone an hour or two without thinking about her.

 

But I'm making progress towards healing. Ive started to try and reclaim tv shows that I introduced her to and we then watched together. Managed to catch up on a few series, and I think it's done me some good, I didn't find it as difficult as I thought I would. Trying to reclaim music is another thing though, much tougher. Bit by bit though I'm moving on, slow and steady. I've accepted it, and even think it was probably the right thing to do. I just wish I would stop having these down days, as most of the time I find I can function much better than before.

 

Part of me still hopes we will be friends one day, that maybe we will cross each other's paths again some day in the future, but I know that's very unlikely. I find it difficult to believe that I have seen or heard from her for the last time, and that she will no longer be in my life in any capacity. I suppose time will eventually blur and dissipate that to.

[StrangerThanFiction]

I felt really sad today. I actually cried and kept getting flashbacks to some of the good things we had together. I haven't felt like this or even really thought about him at all in months. It just doesn't make any sense why this is happening NOW. I've been happy for so long and now all of a sudden here I am in pain again. He doesn't deserve the brainspace or energy this is taking. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be entirely free of him. You know what? Yes I damn well will!! I guess I just need a little more time...

[surferchic]

Mistake. New post going to another section. Sorry

[andie1969]

I'm doing ok... I think I'm over the hump of missing HIM, but just feeling down like I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. So many fun things we were gonna do together this summer. I think what I miss most is having that one person to text when something funny happens, or to discuss current events with, sometimes I'll pick up my phone & then just feel weird because I have no one to show that funny pic to, etc. I'm 46 and it sucks to keep starting over and over for it to eventually fall apart. I've been stepping up my yoga practice, that has helped, and being outside in the sun.

 

I've went on a handful of first dates/meets, all but one I had no interest in seeing again...the one I would like to see again must not be into me I've deleted my online profile for now, planning a vacation with my daughter at the end of May, as soon as school is out. Concentrating on that for now...

Edited April 21, 2016 by andie1969

[Rachel39]

This evening I feel so angry! I'm just sick of you been in my head space.... Up and down been ok that you've gone then thinking you will Chang etiquette mind to then knowing you won't!

 

I want to text you to tell you what a horrible man you are to lead me and my son on! What was I just some one to practice a relationship on for the real thing!

 

Why plan to live with me and ask me to move with you to then tell me you're not sure it's what you want and then to tell me it was never going to work and it was bound to end.

 

Who the f*** does that some one

 

Then I think maybe you have met someone else? Or you are wanting to start looking I didint think you where that way but then I thought you would never do this either so how will I trust anyone again after doing this to me !!

[Weathersf1]

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. Had a day off from work. Had a bad ass workout. I have lost 3 lbs this week, another 7 to go and I'll be ready for summer by May 15th.

 

Researching a vacation at Turks and Caicos. I was going to take my ex there and propose to her on the beach. She wanted a beach wedding and my baby gets what she wants. But not anymore cause she's gone and I get to keep my $. Already had big ring bought that I ended up selling. I will use some of that money to treat myself.

 

I will miss not having someone but I will still have a good time. Yes I'm alone but so are James Bond, Harvey Spectre and Wolverine. I don't see them crying like b**hes over lost love.

 

Man's got issues, he's gonna put em aside and he's gonna get on with the job he needs to get done.

 

Life is good. And we're gonna make it better (without them)

[Rachel39]

I'm so down this morning..... I drempt about you.... You where with another woman and I was trying to talk to you, you didn't want to know.

 

Why is my life so empty without you.... Why have I no fight left in me?...... I'm so low... And feel depressed.

 

I just want my life back the one we had planned together! Iv lost it all you our life your family.....

 

I can't stop thinking about you and it's been nearly 4 months. I keep thinking you will come back but I know deep down you won't and I'm not sure why.

 

I miss us.... And I know you don't even give me a second thought yet I'm paralysed by my grief

[keiji]

I'm quite OK today. Yesterday I did something I rarely or ever recommend: go on a date if you're not 100% sure you're not going to be comparing the other person to your ex ALL THE TIME. I guess I was putting myself to test, and I passed. I can't say I really liked the girl or felt any connection with her, but I feared I'd get home and feel like s***t and it didn't happen. I just had a few beers with a pretty and nice girl, and it didn't bring me down that she wasn't HER. Maybe I turned a little corner? I hope so.

 

Tomorrow's three months of NC. Bracing myself for the day.

[sorano]

This week has been really bad. Its as if I went back to square one. I was just going through some things in my head that I just cant figure out.

 

If my ex had bad relationships in the past right, and she went down that road where all guys treated her like crap, wouldn't she be more cautious on who she dates? which leads me to this.

 

she cried to me about her past relationships. How she knows the signs. How she doesn't want that anymore. I come into her life, and says I am the sweetest and nicest guy ever. so happy and lucky that we are together. You made sure and had a check list. I passed them all. I over came everything. You know what Im saying?? Then you just leave?

 

You made sure that I was the one. You spoke about marriage. Everything was a lie. One huge lie. even though she made sure I was the one, , I went through hell just for her to trust me and call her my gf, she still didnt know what she wanted and left. Its like the person goes yes! yes! yes! perfect, this is perfect, amazing, everything is good, then ok no, it was a fantasy and I have to dump you. what a piece of **** she is

[Raina314]

I'm really down today, in a quiet, remorseful sort of way. I wish we could just put this behind us like I did with my other exes and try to be friends. I wish I could text him and just have a normal conversation and catch up and ask how he's doing. I still care for him so much. But unlike my other exes, he never reaches out and even when we were together he'd only answer my messages half the time so I know it would be a moot point. He wouldn't put any effort into a friendship and would likely not reply to anything. But that makes it so much harder to heal this time around.

[Rachel39]

As usual you are my first thoughts as soon as I wake up ..... I just want you out of my head now!! It's torture 4 months of this !!

 

I know you won't give me second thought because you never really did when we where together. It was all about you and your family

 

I think about if we could every be friends even on fb ...... Then I think I couldn't why would I want to see you living a life with doe one else when it should of been us.

 

I know we left it talking to each other because I couldn't cope with the anxiety of not.

 

Although I haven't reached out to you in a week I'm just hurting myself you've made it clear you do not this anymore and will not change your mind

 

Why am I secretly hoping you would maybe because of the circumstances of us getting together and how long it took for us to date each other?

[MajorOak]

Someone told me normal is to be happy and love life.

Really?

[ashley1992]

hurt.. upset.. angry.. confused.. over thinking... feeling stupid... feel alone... empty.. in shock & betrayed.

[Raina314]

I can't wait to move out. I don't know why, but for some reason whenever I think about it, I feel varying degrees of embarrassed or humiliated when I'm around people who remember me being really happy with my ex, including my parents. I feel like I made myself look like a fool who got really excited for something that didn't work out. Like I was too naive and optimistic and was blind on purpose or something, even though I didn't mean to be. I feel embarrassed that I fell so hard and didn't see the end coming, like I was too dumb and unaware to know what was happening. And that's humiliating.

 

Someone told me normal is to be happy and love life.

Really?

 

Normal for some people, maybe. Some people are truly exceptional and manage to stay optimistic through everything life throws at them, but I wouldn't say that's the norm. I would say that normally, we float somewhere between happy and sad, with about equal bursts of happiness and sadness interspersed. It's relative. Happiness does not exist without sadness and vice versa.

[sorano]

Last night I cried, felt angry, used, betrayed, incomplete and lost.

[Heatemyheart89]

Today is a really bad day. I can't stop thinking about my ex. I keep thinking and getting frusyrated. I just want this to be over. I know he is doing better than me. He doesn't want to see me again. Indifference just seems so far away.

[Raina314]

One of my friends just got proposed to. I know I should be happy for her, and I feel terrible about how hard that is. The first thing that I did when I found out was cry and get really sad that she's getting married and I'm moving out all alone. Has this breakup really turned me into so much of a monster that I can't be happy for a friend who's been nothing but good, kind and helpful to me when her dreams are coming true?

[Rachel39]

One of my friends just got proposed to. I know I should be happy for her, and I feel terrible about how hard that is. The first thing that I did when I found out was cry and get really sad that she's getting married and I'm moving out all alone. Has this breakup really turned me into so much of a monster that I can't be happy for a friend who's been nothing but good, kind and helpful to me when her dreams are coming true?

 

I understand this I had just split up with my when speaking to a client who was getting married Iv know her for years and although I wanted to be happy I just want ed to cry right then and there and all I could think of was that should be me