Xiomn Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Feeling better, got offered my first paid job ever and I'm currently volunteering at my local charity shop and I'm learning a lot and boosting my confidence, the people there are also really nice too! Things are looking good. 3
pillowpuffs Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Had a good 3 to 4 days and then today it hit me hard again. Had a relapse? I went out last night for the first time in a month and most of the night was good till it was time to go home and the high died and I just felt so alone. I watched as all these couples exited the club together and got into taxis together and there I was; alone. I got home alone, went to bed alone and woke up alone. I was starting to feel okay about us never being in contact again but today I don't feel alright about it at all. He cheated and dumped me and disappeared yet I feel like I'm the one being punished because I lost my everything. I really miss him today. And I really don't want to miss him anymore.
Mathematics Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Feeling better, got offered my first paid job ever and I'm currently volunteering at my local charity shop and I'm learning a lot and boosting my confidence, the people there are also really nice too! Things are looking good. Well done on the job. I have volunteered at a charity shop for 6 years. You will enjoy it but never been a good way to meet girls
BriNyc82 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Had a good 3 to 4 days and then today it hit me hard again. Had a relapse? I went out last night for the first time in a month and most of the night was good till it was time to go home and the high died and I just felt so alone. I watched as all these couples exited the club together and got into taxis together and there I was; alone. I got home alone, went to bed alone and woke up alone. I was starting to feel okay about us never being in contact again but today I don't feel alright about it at all. He cheated and dumped me and disappeared yet I feel like I'm the one being punished because I lost my everything. I really miss him today. And I really don't want to miss him anymore. I feel the same. Generally if I'm at work or out with friends I'm ok. He's still on my mind but I can keep it together. As soon as I start headed home I get this sense of utter dread. Hate coming back to my apt all alone. I break down. Go to bed. Wake up and feel the emptiness all over again. When will I stop caring already? He doesn't care that he hurt me so why do I care?
Mathematics Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 Update from me. Friday and for once mot dreading the solitude of the weekend. My girl gets back from holiday tomorrow (she sent me the cutest postcard) and I was going to go to her friends birthday/camping party but I am sick and the weather forecast is for storms so I think I will pass on it. I will probably feel worse sat on my own on a saturday night though (loneliness) Oh well, I have a fridge full of tinned Gin and Tonic and I am drinking with my pals tonight so all is good. Really hope I don't relapse!!!
pillowpuffs Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 I feel the same. Generally if I'm at work or out with friends I'm ok. He's still on my mind but I can keep it together. As soon as I start headed home I get this sense of utter dread. Hate coming back to my apt all alone. I break down. Go to bed. Wake up and feel the emptiness all over again. When will I stop caring already? He doesn't care that he hurt me so why do I care? Same. It's when I'm alone that it really hits me and yesterday that feeling of loss inside my chest creeped back up again when I woke up. He used to be the first person I text in the morning and the last person at night. We were together 6 years but I still always felt so happy whenever his name popped up on my screen with a text or a call or whatever - so deliriously happy... will I ever be that happy again? Or should I just call myself lucky for being able to experience such a love once in my lifetime?
BriNyc82 Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 That's a very + spin. Some people never in their lifetime get to feel that. Ignorance is bliss haha When I'm alone I get consumed with my thoughts. But I know I'm not alone with how I feel. We are only human. Sometimes I'll be crying and I think "what what my love shackers tell me to do right now" I never got bored of seeing his stupid face Pop up either. First in the morning. Last before bed. Letting go of the routine is hard too bc it's something our body chemically has been used to. I'm sorry pillow, and YES you will be that happy again. xo 1
Xiomn Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 It's only just come to my attention that I never cried when she broke up with me, despite how much I loved her and that she was my first everything. Seems a bit weird..maybe I'm just not one for crying?
Oregon_Dude Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 It's only just come to my attention that I never cried when she broke up with me, despite how much I loved her and that she was my first everything. Seems a bit weird..maybe I'm just not one for crying?I didn't cry about this last one. Have cried after all the other ones. I find it significant. Some people aren't even worth our tears.
NVO Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Feel like sh*t today... Don't know why to be honest, I guess the pain is still there. I'm close to 2 weeks of NC, and I just realised that since the BU, almost 4 months ago, the longest period of no contact was 3 weeks. Seems like I never gave myself the chance to take a break from it all. Well, time to change that. Bring it on!
Xiomn Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Seems like my ex is deluding herself, after she received my letter one of my mates just told me she posted a FB status about me with my name in it saying (my name) "I didn't lie to you, you just couldn't accept the truth, you're the one lying" and basically lots of other stuff. Thing is, she did lie to me, about everything, on numerous occasions. No one knows what truly went down apart from two people, me and her. Yet as per usual she's making me out like the bad guy and making all of her friends think I'm the ******* and the liar when it's the other way around. It's amazing how people can just believe her just like that, they're only hearing one side of the story and they're only believing her because their her friend. Do these people ever stop to think maybe she is the one lying, even if they don't even know me? Ridiculous. Anyway, told my mate not to bring her up again.
pillowpuffs Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Falling sick; I miss him even more now Gosh, I'm starting to hate myself for how much I yearn for him when he doesn't give a rat's ass about me.
BriNyc82 Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Falling sick; I miss him even more now Gosh, I'm starting to hate myself for how much I yearn for him when he doesn't give a rat's ass about me. Me too. But who do I miss? The guy he was showing me or the one he is deep down at his core? I'll never know who he truly is. I don't want this to consume me. I don't want to waste my precious time ruminating. It's getting me nowhere. I have made progress but not enough I suppose. At least I've let go of hope. I don't even want him back. I wanted the truth but I will never get it bc he's not even honest with himself yet he thinks he is. I feel ya girl. And it's normal. By the time we are all cried out and moved this will just be a chapter in our book.
Felicite Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Falling sick; I miss him even more now Gosh, I'm starting to hate myself for how much I yearn for him when he doesn't give a rat's ass about me. I feel you too. Especially the part when he dosen't give a rat's ass. It's the meanest and hardest thing to swallow, how can they be so cruel. I hope it gets better for all of us.
Xiomn Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Wouldn't it be cool if somehow everyone in this thread could come together in person and hang out/support each other, we'd all share that same mutual experience of a recent breakup which I believe would bring us all closer together and make us feel better, intensify the healing process. Instead we have to leave it up to the internet which in itself sounds lonely. 1
pillowpuffs Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I feel you too. Especially the part when he dosen't give a rat's ass. It's the meanest and hardest thing to swallow, how can they be so cruel. I hope it gets better for all of us. Yea... my ex disappeared after 6 years together. Cheated and dumped me. It's been 3 months. Never heard from him. Really has been cruel and just a terribly difficult journey. I have quite literally fallen apart and now I'm trying to put myself together. I hope it gets better for us too. I am sorry for what you're going through. 1
Xiomn Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 My ex was a liar, a manipulator, and a very immature and crazy woman. Done with that b***h. 1
finalendeavor Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Major setback today. Ran into a friend of mine from highschool, she was with her boyfriend who is now apparently her fiance. He looks just like my ex and their relationship is exactly how mine and my exe's was. I feel ****ing awful. Still astonishes me how badly he treated me and how little he cares.
finalendeavor Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I'm feeling very "why me?" Right now. I don't know what I did to get dumped so horribly, and why I'm so undeserving of love. We had a pretty amazing relationship... And then he just ended it and cut me off. Everyone around me is in these happy relationships, and then I get treated like absolute ****. And I think it's beyond cruel that I can turn every head in a room, but I can't have the one person I want. I feel like I'm not good enough
TunaCat Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 So I just got a new phone a few days ago and finally synced all of my pics & music from my old phone to my new phone. Flipping through the pics on the phone and I nearly lost it. I had screenshots of texts from the ex. Sweet things that he said to me. Now I got rid of these screenshots, a month or two after he dumped me. I never expected to see them again. I was already having a rough few weeks and this did not help.
Xiomn Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 (edited) Was really angry yesterday, as you can tell from my last post on this thread, I told myself I was done with her and wanted nothing to do with her anymore after everything she said and done. Still, today is a new day and I can't help but feel a bit sad..despite lying to me about everything she said before and after the breakup and getting with someone else in just over a month.. I still find myself sitting here loving her and wishing we were still together.. Everything looks to be going on the up, started doing something with my life by volunteering, got offered my first job ever, still wish she was here with me by my side though to share this with me. :/ Edited August 23, 2015 by Xiomn
Chronograph Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Feel a bit empty. Just came back from a birthday party in a park and honestly all the other guests were couples. Either with kids or pregnant or just happy couples. DISGUSTING! Guess I'm having the normal Sunday evening blues of someone being single. 1
Mathematics Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 It is over a week since I went proper NC and broke social media. Also been nearly 2 weeks since I saw current girl. The space and time alone has been good and I was much better this weekend compared to how depressed I was the week before. Looking forward to seeing the new girl tonight hoping it is like our last 2 dates where i liked her more and more.
Arda199 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Can someone please explain to me why would my ex Ask iur mutual friends if i ever talk about her or miss her? And sending her friends asking me if i'm dating anyone rn? Its been over 2 months of NC why would she do that now?
Firstheartbreaksux Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Well, I had a huge setback. Saturday I went to go drop off her stuff but I messed it up. I was going to drop it off while she was at work to keep with NC. So I set the stuff on her porch and as I was getting back in, her mother came out. I just drove ofd, but now I have this nagging feeling that I should've talked to her, apologize for everything and thank her for letting me into her house and accepting me and such. But I just drove off, I feel like I just messed up ANY chance at a second chance, if there ever was one. which now just makes me think of everything I could've done better or different. Ugh I learned my lessons lady, just give me another chance.
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