How are you coping today?

[Sunshine09]

Really ****ing rough weekend. This is the weekend I was going to move in with him, my best friend. I was going to move states and start a new life with him. This doesn't hurt AS badly as I thought it would, considering we haven't spoken since the BU 6 weeks ago, but I'm still really hurting. The memories are killing me. The fact that it doesn't seem like he gives any sort of a **** at all (judging from the lack of contact...) REALLY hurts. I don't understand how you could go from wanting to live with someone, to dumping them and not saying anything to them for well over a month. I'm hurting so badly.

 

I still don't understand it either, hang in there <3

[guest569]

Wish I would die just for some peace so I can escape everything. I cant face anything today

[Phoenixashes]

Just got an overwhelming rush of a sinking loss reading a thread here. Loss. Guilt. Pickling needles of sadness.

 

Man...he's gone forever. I WANTED him gone. I deserve better. I did this for a reason. Keep repeating...

[Jellybean24]

Fighting the urge now to not send my ex a F U text.

He's so annoying. Being friendly to me one minute and then I saw his fb page and he has added more girls on it.

He's such a jerk! No respect at all. Since our break up he's added probably 20+ girls on FB!

 

I. Hate. That. I. Still. Care.

 

He makes me so mad!

[StuckInAHole]

Missing my ex terribly today for some reason (more than normal). I kept reminiscing about the past and the good times and how did it all came to an end in such short notice. To try to counter this, I was trying to remember what she did to me and how she hurt me through her affair. Instead of getting angry like I normally do, I got even more depressed.

 

My family and I went to the lake today. I simply walked away to lay by myself on the sand. I was in no mood to talk or enjoy the sunny afternoon. Thank god for good family. They all came and crowded around me to provide support and knew that I didn't wanted to talk about it but their presence there was lovely. The emotion passed and i continued on the rest of my day.

 

Now I'm home and alone. Sitting here watching television and eating dinner in a quite house and the depression comes creeping back. I have to stay strong and fight the urge to contact the ex. Nothing good will come out of it. I just have to keep telling myself that. It's only been a month since we started the divorce papers and two months since Dday. I feel like I've been living in this depression for years. When will this sorrow ends?

[pillowpuffs]

I know some people regret breaking NC but sometimes I wake up regretting NC, did it from day 1 of being dumped and I never got to say all of the things I wanted to say. 6 whole years together and then radio silence for the past 2 months plus

Edited August 10, 2015 by pillowpuffs

[Jellybean24]

I know some people regret breaking NC but sometimes I wake up regretting NC, did it from day 1 of being dumped and I never got to say all of the things I wanted to say. 6 whole years together and then radio silence for the past 2 months plus

 

I'm glad u mentioned this because I don't fully believe in NC either.. Only to a certain extent! I ended up breaking NC three times but I don't regret any of them because what was said needed to be said. Now I'm doing NC for myself but I do reply to him when he contacts me because I was with him far too long for him to become a stranger.

 

Since saying what I needed to say I don't have an urge to initiate contact, I'm letting him do the work. If it's meant to be it's meant to be. That's why NC can work so well.... You're in control.

[pillowpuffs]

I'm glad u mentioned this because I don't fully believe in NC either.. Only to a certain extent! I ended up breaking NC three times but I don't regret any of them because what was said needed to be said. Now I'm doing NC for myself but I do reply to him when he contacts me because I was with him far too long for him to become a stranger.

 

I never initiate contact! I think that's why NC can work well... You're in control.

 

In my case, my ex hasn't contacted me and I haven't either. He dumped me and I found out after he dumped me (a few hours after) that he had cheated on me. When I confronted him about it and messaged him a day later to berate him for his actions, he told me he didn't wish to discuss his indiscretions with me further.

 

As such, I refused to break NC in the beginning because I felt so hurt by him and thought there was no way I could get any answers from him. But I think some part of me also thought he would contact me. I also listened to everyone who told me stay strong, keep doing NC - and I did.

 

But nothing. 6 years and I don't hear a thing from him. It has been very painful and hurtful to deal with that + the cheating + being dumped.

[Jellybean24]

In my case, my ex hasn't contacted me and I haven't either. He dumped me and I found out after he dumped me (a few hours after) that he had cheated on me. When I confronted him about it and messaged him a day later to berate him for his actions, he told me he didn't wish to discuss his indiscretions with me further.

 

As such, I refused to break NC in the beginning because I felt so hurt by him and thought there was no way I could get any answers from him. But I think some part of me also thought he would contact me. I also listened to everyone who told me stay strong, keep doing NC - and I did.

 

But nothing. 6 years and I don't hear a thing from him. It has been very painful and hurtful to deal with that + the cheating + being dumped.

 

You're so strong. In your case I applaud you, walking away with dignity and respect for yourself in tact, given the circumstances. Your break up was a gain, not a loss.

Remember... Karmas a B*tch.

 

Your silence alone says it all.

[veryconfusedone]

I had a dream and him last night and now I am really missing him a lot. I feel like crying right now. I've been thinking about driving out to his work later to do some shopping and hoping to get a glance of him. But I don't know if that's such a good idea. I can't wait to go to my psychologist appointment tomorrow so I talk to someone about this.

[Amas5750]

Today I am awake 1.53am

 

Terrified and confused about my life. How did I get here? Why am I all alone? Why me? How will it end?

 

I know im not thinking in a balanced way right now...

 

I'm beyond fearful I won't have children. My ex doesn't want kids any time soon.

He tried to come back to me but I had to turn him down because of the children thing.

 

How do I get out of this

[pillowpuffs]

You're so strong. In your case I applaud you, walking away with dignity and respect for yourself in tact, given the circumstances. Your break up was a gain, not a loss.

Remember... Karmas a B*tch.

 

Your silence alone says it all.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I must tell you that it isn't that great to be where I'm at. Walking away with dignity means nothing when you seemingly meant nothing to someone who was your everything

 

And to sort of just be cut out from someone's life the way I was, I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that. He was my best friend, the only person in the world I was comfortable with and now I'm left here, really suffering and in pain every day and he's living a great life.

Edited August 10, 2015 by pillowpuffs

[Jellybean24]

Thank you for your kind words. I must tell you that it isn't that great to be where I'm at. Walking away with dignity means nothing when you seemingly meant nothing to someone who was your everything

 

And to sort of just be cut out from someone's life the way I was, I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that. He was my best friend, the only person in the world I was comfortable with and now I'm left here, really suffering and in pain every day and he's living a great life.

 

If he senses the pain you're in he will run a mile, and that may be why he has been so reluctant to reach out to you. Once you begin to live your life to the fullest, without him, I guarantee he will come knocking on your door. They always come back. But not until you move on.

 

Watch the movie, 'the secret', it will empower you. It has helped me so much. It gave me a new perspective on life.

[pillowpuffs]

If he senses the pain you're in he will run a mile, and that may be why he has been so reluctant to reach out to you. Once you begin to live your life to the fullest, without him, I guarantee he will come knocking on your door. They always come back. But not until you move on.

 

Watch the movie, 'the secret', it will empower you. It has helped me so much. It gave me a new perspective on life.

 

Perhaps. I don't have any expectations of that. I think he's moved on to the girl he cheated on me with and that hurts a lot too but I can't control it and it shouldn't be my business anymore (that's what I tell myself everytime I think about it - sort of a mantra to ease the pain a little?)

 

I have watched 'the secret', maybe 5 years ago? I have found it quite confusing to reconcile that school of thought (having a vision and manifesting it to the universe) with the other school of thought which says "things happen when you least expect it"?

[Ariess10]

I think my time here is done, I thank everyone for the wisdom .. It's time to put all this behind me and move on !! Thanks again

[pillowpuffs]

I think my time here is done, I thank everyone for the wisdom .. It's time to put all this behind me and move on !! Thanks again

 

I wish you all the best. Take care!

[DK666]

I think my time here is done, I thank everyone for the wisdom .. It's time to put all this behind me and move on !! Thanks again

 

Best of luck moving forward mate. All the best.

[Xiomn]

Feeling down today.. going the gym only helps so much, I get home from the gym and as soon as I walk through the door I can feel the sadness and despair creeping up on me again. I'll be going into my third and most stressful year of university soon, then I'll be let loose into the world of full time work for the first time, it's going to be the most stressful time in my entire life, the thought of graduating less than a year from now is making me really stressed already.

I know that if I was still with her I would feel a lot less stressed about it all because she would be there by my side, but she's not here anymore..

[Phoenixashes]

Left my ex one last email and deleted everything but one means of contact. I said if he truly wanted to fix things then meet me here but I was officially done. Tired of the limbo. Hard to move foward.

[freebird31]

Well, the time has come when I have looked back and regretted all my stupid mistakes which I can call lessons, once again. GOSH this is definitely my year because I have made the stupidest mistakes I have ever made than any other time in my life. I am embarassed and ashamed. I realize now, 6 weeks later how STUPID i was to send that letter to me ex. Why did i do it? I dont know. I regret it. It was pointless and I let emotions get the best of me. If theres anything I have learned, it is to think with my head and not my heart. Because I have been thinking with my heart for some time now, and all it has done is made me look completely crazy and I am so embarassed. I did the same thing with a guy I was dating. I once again, was thinking with my heart and once again, made myself look so crazy. I am so embarassed. I was doing so well, and I have noticed every time I mess up, it is always during the times when I am over-emotional and not thinking straight. I need to find ways to help control that. At least i realize it now right? I dont know. My ex thinks i am crazy for sure, being that I sent him a letter 2 years after being broken up. Never again. I know better the next time. I wont be stupid next time. I know there will probably be another time when I will feel over-emotional and I need to help figure out a way to control these emotions before making any irrational decisions. Because after I realize how stupid these irrational decisions are, it just makes me feel that much more bad about myself. But I will brush this off, take it as a lesson, and continue to move forward. No more looking back, and i wont make the same mistake twice. This time I am smarter.

 

I have noticed that I start to feel really bad about myself, and at a low point in my life when i let outside situations take control of me. The main reason why I got over-emotional was because my ex added me on social media. Soon after, he posted a picture with his friend who so happened to be a girl and thanked her for being such a good friend. This drove me crazy, triggered crazy emotions again, and led to a written letter to my ex which i now regret. Im embarassed and ashamed. And I remember so many people on here told me not to do it, but I did it. At least I learned for myself. And i defintely learned that I cannot ever be friends with my exes, including on social media.

 

Another poster on here told me to not care what people think of me, or to not care what my ex thinks of me. And I am trying really hard to find it in me to not care. That is my next life-challenge. I have made so many stupid mistakes this past year. Gosh, I feel so stupid for letting the dumbest things dictate me and lead to make foolish decisions.

 

Ah, I will jsut take this as another lesson and MOVE FORWARD! MOVE FORWARD. MOVE ON and continue to move forward.

[loveforever101]

3 weeks no contact and I'm starting to feel worse. All the thoughts and memories are creeping up on me and its really hurting. I just can't stop thinking about her.

[Jellybean24]

Well, the time has come when I have looked back and regretted all my stupid mistakes which I can call lessons, once again. GOSH this is definitely my year because I have made the stupidest mistakes I have ever made than any other time in my life. I am embarassed and ashamed. I realize now, 6 weeks later how STUPID i was to send that letter to me ex. Why did i do it? I dont know. I regret it. It was pointless and I let emotions get the best of me. If theres anything I have learned, it is to think with my head and not my heart. Because I have been thinking with my heart for some time now, and all it has done is made me look completely crazy and I am so embarassed. I did the same thing with a guy I was dating. I once again, was thinking with my heart and once again, made myself look so crazy. I am so embarassed. I was doing so well, and I have noticed every time I mess up, it is always during the times when I am over-emotional and not thinking straight. I need to find ways to help control that. At least i realize it now right? I dont know. My ex thinks i am crazy for sure, being that I sent him a letter 2 years after being broken up. Never again. I know better the next time. I wont be stupid next time. I know there will probably be another time when I will feel over-emotional and I need to help figure out a way to control these emotions before making any irrational decisions. Because after I realize how stupid these irrational decisions are, it just makes me feel that much more bad about myself. But I will brush this off, take it as a lesson, and continue to move forward. No more looking back, and i wont make the same mistake twice. This time I am smarter.

 

I have noticed that I start to feel really bad about myself, and at a low point in my life when i let outside situations take control of me. The main reason why I got over-emotional was because my ex added me on social media. Soon after, he posted a picture with his friend who so happened to be a girl and thanked her for being such a good friend. This drove me crazy, triggered crazy emotions again, and led to a written letter to my ex which i now regret. Im embarassed and ashamed. And I remember so many people on here told me not to do it, but I did it. At least I learned for myself. And i defintely learned that I cannot ever be friends with my exes, including on social media.

 

Another poster on here told me to not care what people think of me, or to not care what my ex thinks of me. And I am trying really hard to find it in me to not care. That is my next life-challenge. I have made so many stupid mistakes this past year. Gosh, I feel so stupid for letting the dumbest things dictate me and lead to make foolish decisions.

 

Ah, I will jsut take this as another lesson and MOVE FORWARD! MOVE FORWARD. MOVE ON and continue to move forward.

 

Wow. You are being way too hard on yourself.

 

Your ex is being the inconsiderate ass by adding you on social media and then posting a pic with another girl on his page shortly after. It may look innocent on his behalf but it screams 'give me attention'.The timing is a bit too coincidental don't you think?!

 

You sent a letter... That is nothing to be ashamed of. Some people have done SO much worse!! I have heard of people professing their undying love for their ex outside their house, egging their ex boyfriend in the face and his car! You name it.. I guarantee it's been done somewhere around the globe. Sending a letter... Psssh, don't worry about it!

 

Unless he contacts you with something meaningful to say, go NC.

[dyna85]

Well, the time has come when I have looked back and regretted all my stupid mistakes which I can call lessons, once again. GOSH this is definitely my year because I have made the stupidest mistakes I have ever made than any other time in my life. I am embarassed and ashamed. I realize now, 6 weeks later how STUPID i was to send that letter to me ex. Why did i do it? I dont know. I regret it. It was pointless and I let emotions get the best of me. If theres anything I have learned, it is to think with my head and not my heart. Because I have been thinking with my heart for some time now, and all it has done is made me look completely crazy and I am so embarassed. I did the same thing with a guy I was dating. I once again, was thinking with my heart and once again, made myself look so crazy. I am so embarassed. I was doing so well, and I have noticed every time I mess up, it is always during the times when I am over-emotional and not thinking straight. I need to find ways to help control that. At least i realize it now right? I dont know. My ex thinks i am crazy for sure, being that I sent him a letter 2 years after being broken up. Never again. I know better the next time. I wont be stupid next time. I know there will probably be another time when I will feel over-emotional and I need to help figure out a way to control these emotions before making any irrational decisions. Because after I realize how stupid these irrational decisions are, it just makes me feel that much more bad about myself. But I will brush this off, take it as a lesson, and continue to move forward. No more looking back, and i wont make the same mistake twice. This time I am smarter.

 

I have noticed that I start to feel really bad about myself, and at a low point in my life when i let outside situations take control of me. The main reason why I got over-emotional was because my ex added me on social media. Soon after, he posted a picture with his friend who so happened to be a girl and thanked her for being such a good friend. This drove me crazy, triggered crazy emotions again, and led to a written letter to my ex which i now regret. Im embarassed and ashamed. And I remember so many people on here told me not to do it, but I did it. At least I learned for myself. And i defintely learned that I cannot ever be friends with my exes, including on social media.

 

Another poster on here told me to not care what people think of me, or to not care what my ex thinks of me. And I am trying really hard to find it in me to not care. That is my next life-challenge. I have made so many stupid mistakes this past year. Gosh, I feel so stupid for letting the dumbest things dictate me and lead to make foolish decisions.

 

Ah, I will jsut take this as another lesson and MOVE FORWARD! MOVE FORWARD. MOVE ON and continue to move forward.

 

 

You know what freebird? I have read so many of your posts and I truly admire your strength and don't think you should be embarrassed at all. Love makes us want to fight for it, and in your situation, with the way your ex handled your last 2 contacts, it's any wonder it's left you feeling the way you do. For someone to ignore you is incredibly hurtful and the hurt lingers on and on, and yes, when you're feeling overly emotional and triggered, you want to bridge that gap again, because it's unresolved. I think you did what was right for you and it took courage to openly disclose how you felt to seek further resolution. Your ex, I would bet, does not think you are crazy, but is just confused himself. It's his issues that prevent him from being able to be kind enough to respond. The fact that he added you on social media and then went cold when you tried to contact him just shows further that he's definitely emotionally immature. I know you're in a lot of pain and I feel for you. However, I can guarantee you will make some guy so happy some day because you are such a deeply loving person. You just need to carry on and definitely not berate yourself for having tried for closure. Again, I envy that you had the courage to at least make attempts after the fact.

 

Honestly, I think in this life in some cases you're damned if you do, damned if you don't, but the truth is, you never know unless you try. I've regretted maybe not fighting enough looking back and in other cases, I regret not having walked away earlier. It's all a part of life. You're young and some day will look back and know you needed to go thru this to get to where you will be. And you had your reasons for doing what you did. We always do.

[Xiomn]

I was depressed this afternoon, I'm now angry again. Just remind myself every time how immature she was.

Imagining the thought of her crawling back to me and me turning her down because of how pathetic she was makes me feel better.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Xiomn

[finalendeavor]

I keep thinking that it ended up not working out in the end because he was somehow out of my league. I know these thoughts are so damaging, but it's so hard for me to not take all of this personally, how I got dumped, how suddenly, etc. That I wasn't attractive enough to keep him, that I wasn't supportive enough, happy enough. I'm feeling conflicted because I have confident moments where I know I was the best girlfriend I could've been. I treated him like gold, but still was dignified and logically communicated if I ever had a problem, I wasn't a doormat. I gamed with him, supported him through anything and provided insight- I was his best friend. The why is killing me. I don't know why he got rid of me. I felt like we were such positive forces in each other's lives, and then, when commitment began to really enter the picture, it just... ended. I keep feeling like if I was good enough, he would've went through with it. I don't know why I need validation through his actions because I care about him, when he obviously doesn't give a damn about me.