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How are you coping today?

Riou

By Riou
in Coping

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NVO Established Member

NVO

Posted
Posted
I always, always, always feel better in the afternoon / evening. Mornings still suck!

 

Damn, I've had the same thing going on for several weeks. It does get better, believe me.

 

My ex and mine 'What would be our 2 year anniversary' is coming up this Friday. Strange feeling to be honest. Looked forward to this date for so long, because we also planned our holiday next monday. Wonder if she notices or thinks about it like I do...

  • Like 1
Xiomn Established Member

Xiomn

Posted
Posted

Felt a tiny bit down today when hit me that it will be exactly 1 month tomorrow that she broke up with me over Facebook, the immaturity of the woman.

Learningtowalkagain Established Member

Learningtowalkagain

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Mid weeks to Friday's are the absolute worst for me. I'm flying high after the weekends then it all comes crashing down.i don't know if it's just stress from work but today blows.

iheartgoodmusic Member

iheartgoodmusic

Posted
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I received closure from my ex today. Didn't call him, blow his phone up with text messages, none of that. He apologised for everything in detail. It meant alot. I went through changes and extreme hurt after the break up. Didn't point fingers, just listened to what he had to say. I do not feel the same after going through all of those emotions.

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finalendeavor Established Member

finalendeavor

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Feeling okay, reaching indifference and acceptance. I still miss him but I understand that for reasons that will likely remain unknown, we are not and will most likely not be close in the future. Even if he regrets it and decides that I really am the ****, it might be a year from now, and he might never reach out to me. It's upsetting and it sucks because I was the best girlfriend I could be and I felt like we could've worked through the issues easily had he not thrown everything away, but I realize that there's nothing I can do to change it. I can't make someone appreciate me enough to stick around. I thought I ticked enough of his boxes to make him stay, but it just wasn't enough, because I don't think it was really about me.

  • Like 4
freebird31 Established Member

freebird31

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Lately, I have been spending my nights just crying. I saw this picture of the guy I was dating and his new girlfriend and i just felt heartache. It is completely stupid, but it still just gets me down. I just wonder what life will be for us. I see this guy settling down with this girl and in five years still with her as happy as ever. And in five years, I see myself being single still. Because there is just way in hell that I would get as lucky as I did when I met him. I mean, its fine. In 5 years, I will be 28. It is not like I will be old. I really keep thinking and feeling like I will probably not find a great love again, true passionate love again until i am way older. So far, I have just had a streak of bad luck. A streak of heartbreak. And it is so funny because this guy told me that I should be patient and take it day by day and that you never know what the future holds. If he told me this in person, I would have laughed in his face. Its easy for him to say that, because he is not in my position. He is at peace, happy with someone. I think its complete bull ****, i wont lie. The way this whole thing happened. Bull ****. I can sit here and pout about it, because its unfair, and i have been pouting about it this entire week, because its stupid and bs. But whatever, I am not really surprised that this would happen to me in my life. It is not like I am meant to have a happy and easy love life, smoot sailing. haha. yeah right. My love life has been complete bull ****, one person was full of ****. and now this guy, just thinks that I should just be patient and be his friend. Im so annoyed, and I do not know how to stop feeling annoyed. I just want the situation to be fair. Thats all. its stupid.

TunaCat Established Member

TunaCat

Posted
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Sweet mother of God I'm confused.

 

I just heard from a mutual friend that the ex gave his girlfriend a promise ring.

 

Um, we're in our late 20's. Promise rings are for HIGH SCHOOL.

 

He was looking for ENGAGEMENT rings for me six months ago. He seriously regressed with this woman.

 

BUT, since I've known him for 20 years, I know it's impossible for him to be alone. He "needs" to have a girlfriend constantly.

 

I'm hurting tonight because all this tells me is that I'm really easy to get over.

  • Like 1
Mathematics Established Member

Mathematics

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Woke up thinking of her yet again. Doesnt happen every day. Its just the NC part of my mind fighting for survival. Time to go to work, be busy and ignore it.

guest569 Established Member

guest569

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Going through pretty tough times, so stressed and exhausted. I just wish he would come over with flowers and apologise and want me back. We really had something special and in now I will never find that again. I dont think he will ever find it.

Arda199 Established Member

Arda199

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Doing better than last week, morning still sucks :(

Mathematics Established Member

Mathematics

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Doing better than last week, morning still sucks :(

 

It's always the mornings :mad:

  • Like 1
finalendeavor Established Member

finalendeavor

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I have a date tonight, with a very handsome, intelligent man. He seems classy, nice enough. I'm hoping I don't compare him to my ex the entire time; hoping we have plenty of common interests. I'm somewhat of a weirdy.

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ASV Established Member

ASV

Posted
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Long time without hanging out in here..., what's up, people?

 

Yesterday I just passed by her. Caught a quick glimpse of her hair and back but once I got it in my mind I thought "no, it can't be her". Then, back home, after asking a friend of mine, she was there.

 

And now I'm here, cold and lonely, while some other dude could be banging her at the moment, thinking at how badly she would have thought of me for not approaching to say hi.

 

I've even considered breaking NC but no, it won't be the case.

 

Hope y'all are doing fine.

Mathematics Established Member

Mathematics

Posted
Posted
I have a date tonight, with a very handsome, intelligent man. He seems classy, nice enough. I'm hoping I don't compare him to my ex the entire time; hoping we have plenty of common interests. I'm somewhat of a weirdy.

 

I have been there. Enjoy, you will probably feel like you are not ready but stick with it if you get further dates. You will open up, promise.

Phoenixashes Established Member

Phoenixashes

Posted
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Crying all morning after receiving a bit of a harsh message from the ex. It's like he wants to drill in I am the cause of all this because I left. But I left because of how I was being treated, why is this not a walk in the park?

 

He treated me badly, he took me for granted and yet I still love him. Why am I so stupid and why are toxic relationships harder to cope with? Why am I being punished for what HE caused? Why do I care??

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

so I broke NC and I am glad. After 5 months of RS and 5 days before flying to meet my parents, my ex told me he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married. I flipped out badly and not only broke it off, but vanished from his life and never saw him again. I was furious, hurt, humiliated, everything.

 

Unfortunately for me, the RS seemed perfect before. Was perfect. My ex did nothing to stop me from leaving. I actually got the "thank you for all you did for us" text message. I wanted to scream.

 

The last three months, I was ... all over the place. The hardest was to take the plans we had one day before and the sudden break up immediately after. It's like you're in this great RS and then something happens and you get terribly hurt and want to leave and you see your partner calm and composed... It's like... what the hell's going on here?

 

So I took the time and wrote him - I, the dumper / victim - wrote him a long email, letting out all the hurt, all the tension, turmoil... all the guilt for having left so suddenly, how I have felt deeply unloved and angry at him, all the questions I had, everything. I do feel guilty for having left without having talked to him face to face. Guilty, angry, hurt, confused... emotional. And him... he remained silenced. Easy to conclude: lack of emotion, of love. PErfect, then I was right to leave.

 

What's done is done. And having sent that email... allowed me to get rid of the guilt, to share the love I was feeling, the hurt and the strong sensation I was unloved - during the RS and after it ended. After pressing that send button, I felt free to feel... the anger, the deep anger I had inside me. I took the RS of the pedestal and broke it into small little pieces which are much easier to digest. I felt fee to move on.

 

I don't care if he never responds or contacts me again. I was brave to do it. What happens from now on is between him and God. I am moving forward, nothing holds me back now. Forgiveness must start with one's self.

  • Like 1
Arda199 Established Member

Arda199

Posted
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It's always the mornings :mad:

 

Always :( now i hate when i go to sleep because i know in the morning she's the first thing that will popup in my head

finalendeavor Established Member

finalendeavor

Posted
Posted

Date didn't go well. He didn't particularly interest me, and having been with my exes, I felt like I could've done better.

StrangerThanFiction Established Member

StrangerThanFiction

Posted
Posted

Today was absolutely terrible. I hurt myself pretty badly at work and then was informed I'm the only one on my crew that has to work the next two days while everyone else is off till Monday, I found out my mum is being put in a home instead of going back to her own home, almost burnt my apartment down while cooking dinner, and on top of it all I miss my ex more now than at any other time. Maybe it's because of all the awful things that have happened today, but all I want to do is call him and have him tell me everything is going to be ok.

Mathematics Established Member

Mathematics

Posted
Posted
Date didn't go well. He didn't particularly interest me, and having been with my exes, I felt like I could've done better.

 

You still took a big step in getting out on a date

  • Like 1
Mathematics Established Member

Mathematics

Posted
Posted
so I broke NC and I am glad. After 5 months of RS and 5 days before flying to meet my parents, my ex told me he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married. I flipped out badly and not only broke it off, but vanished from his life and never saw him again. I was furious, hurt, humiliated, everything.

 

Unfortunately for me, the RS seemed perfect before. Was perfect. My ex did nothing to stop me from leaving. I actually got the "thank you for all you did for us" text message. I wanted to scream.

 

The last three months, I was ... all over the place. The hardest was to take the plans we had one day before and the sudden break up immediately after. It's like you're in this great RS and then something happens and you get terribly hurt and want to leave and you see your partner calm and composed... It's like... what the hell's going on here?

 

So I took the time and wrote him - I, the dumper / victim - wrote him a long email, letting out all the hurt, all the tension, turmoil... all the guilt for having left so suddenly, how I have felt deeply unloved and angry at him, all the questions I had, everything. I do feel guilty for having left without having talked to him face to face. Guilty, angry, hurt, confused... emotional. And him... he remained silenced. Easy to conclude: lack of emotion, of love. PErfect, then I was right to leave.

 

What's done is done. And having sent that email... allowed me to get rid of the guilt, to share the love I was feeling, the hurt and the strong sensation I was unloved - during the RS and after it ended. After pressing that send button, I felt free to feel... the anger, the deep anger I had inside me. I took the RS of the pedestal and broke it into small little pieces which are much easier to digest. I felt fee to move on.

 

I don't care if he never responds or contacts me again. I was brave to do it. What happens from now on is between him and God. I am moving forward, nothing holds me back now. Forgiveness must start with one's self.

 

This post is wonderful and so true.

finalendeavor Established Member

finalendeavor

Posted
Posted

Really down again today. I realize that being dumped in an awful way isn't necessarily the source of my depression; I think I'm blaming the loss of someone I cared about for the entirety of how badly I'm feeling, and I'm off the mark.

 

I'm feeling particularly suicidal today; I feel really, really alone. I'm coping today by realizing that today will pass and that things will eventually get better if I just keep hanging on, even if it's hard to see from where I'm currently at mentally. I really miss him support today, too. He was extremely supportive.

Phoenixashes Established Member

Phoenixashes

Posted
Posted
Really down again today. I realize that being dumped in an awful way isn't necessarily the source of my depression; I think I'm blaming the loss of someone I cared about for the entirety of how badly I'm feeling, and I'm off the mark.

 

I'm feeling particularly suicidal today; I feel really, really alone. I'm coping today by realizing that today will pass and that things will eventually get better if I just keep hanging on, even if it's hard to see from where I'm currently at mentally. I really miss him support today, too. He was extremely supportive.

 

Hang in there. Those depressing, suicidal thoughts can swallow you up. I get there way too often...please check in with us.

  • Like 1
Phoenixashes Established Member

Phoenixashes

Posted
Posted

I guess I had closure. Ex emailed and doesnt want a complete goodbye but wants to keep in touch to know when "major" things happen in my life and see me again in time (non romantically.) Why should I update him? What about what's going on in HIS life?

 

Not sure I should even go there. Feels like a goodbye...how can I truly move on if I don't completely? I close the door. He always found a way to keep it open. Just a crack. Sigh. Well. Nothing "major" is set to happen so no temptation there.

 

Feeling melancholy this morning knowing I wont ever give an answer.

finalendeavor Established Member

finalendeavor

Posted
Posted
Hang in there. Those depressing, suicidal thoughts can swallow you up. I get there way too often...please check in with us.

 

 

I know, they're awful. Depression is a weird thing, because it embodies such a wide variety of feelings. Emptiness, isolation, crippling sadness, anxiety. In retrospect, I needed to sort myself out before ever getting in a relationship with him. I began to depend on him for happiness; everyone knows how ridiculously unhealthy that is. I thought I was in a good frame of mind, but I wasn't. I think I need to be alone for a long, long time. The date I went on last night really showed me that.

 

I hope all is happy for you, that you're able to remain afloat. Knowing how depression feels, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And thank you for the support; it means a lot.

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