Ariess10 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Well I had my date. It was fine. That's the only word I can use to describe it. Fine. Had some drinks. Talked. He gave me a little peck when saying goodbye. I felt nothing. But it was exactly what I was afraid of. He's not R. There wasn't that instant connection. Although maybe that instant connection was lust and that's it. Ugh I'm scared I'll never feel that happy with anyone again. It's because it's to early your still healing , give yourself some time and just focuse on you .. When it's time it will happen naturally .. It's just to soon
BriNyc82 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 It's because it's to early your still healing , give yourself some time and just focuse on you .. When it's time it will happen naturally .. It's just to soon Sigh. im mad bc I should be healed. A few months ago I was ready to take the next steps with R. And now he's set me back. I don't want to give him that power. He's over me then I should be too
Ariess10 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Sigh. im mad bc I should be healed. A few months ago I was ready to take the next steps with R. And now he's set me back. I don't want to give him that power. He's over me then I should be too I get that , because I'm in the same boat , but just because they are "over" us doesn't me we should be just yet .. People do things differently , don't be so hard on yourself if you aren't over it yet .. It hurts because it mattered and it was promising .. Take your time to heal and you'll be way better of them to just jump in a new relationship
Jonp219 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Syracuse ny My first ex was from Rochester. Sweetest girl I ever met. 1
Phoenixashes Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I was in a ltr and experienced the worst betrayal...lost weight. Stayed in bed. Mourned. I felt I could never love again. I Loved this man so much... Now I feel absolutely nothing! It has been years and while the wound is fresh, it feels like we can never move foward. But stay with it! It gets better. I tell myself that with my current situation. Day 2. Don't have much sadness. Just wondering how he is. The urge to talk is out of habit. He treated me so badly and I gave so much. He doesn't deserve me in his life. 1
Ijustdon'tgetit Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I'm in New York not the city tho upstate plenty of single good looking women around here .. I'm just not into dating anymore way better of single I'm not one to write off states and cities as I feel it's too generalized. Just because there's one doesn't mean it's all.. That said.. New Jersey is where the nice ones are!! Lol South Jersey of course. North Jersey is still too close to NY so it's rubbed off there.. If anyone wants to have a hangout day somewhere in NY or whereever we should organize that.. I love driving all around. It would be like a couchsurfing event, but by loveshack.. If you've ever heard of "couchsurfer." This includes you too Jonp219. Or anyone else close by.
BriNyc82 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I get that , because I'm in the same boat , but just because they are "over" us doesn't me we should be just yet .. People do things differently , don't be so hard on yourself if you aren't over it yet .. It hurts because it mattered and it was promising .. Take your time to heal and you'll be way better of them to just jump in a new relationship Thanks Aries. You would think knowing someone doesn't want to be with us would be enough huh? I certainly don't want to use anyone in my healing process and I would never. I just feel stuck.
Sunshine09 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Not the greatest but better after joining this site Don't feel so alone anymore 2
Xiomn Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) I messed up today. Basically my ex contacted me after 9 days of her forcing NC on me to ask why my mum had added her on Facebook, anyway I told myself I wouldn't reply but at the same time I didn't want her to think I was trying other ways of creeping on her or something so i felt obligated to clear things up. Now my anxiety has come back to bite me in the butt really hard and I lost my appetite and couldn't eat my dinner today, basically reverted myself back to square one when she broke up with me and I couldn't eat anything for days. Seriously regret replying to her now, feels like those 9 days of NC have been a complete waste of time, I wanted to ignore her and show her that I don't need her in my life. :/ Really need someone to talk to Someone reply to me? Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn
15Love Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I messed up today. Basically my ex contacted me after 9 days of her forcing NC on me to ask why my mum had added her on Facebook, anyway I told myself I wouldn't reply but at the same time I didn't want her to think I was trying other ways of creeping on her or something so i felt obligated to clear things up. Now my anxiety has come back to bite me in the butt really hard and I lost my appetite and couldn't eat my dinner today, basically reverted myself back to square one when she broke up with me and I couldn't eat anything for days. Seriously regret replying to her now, feels like those 9 days of NC have been a complete waste of time, I wanted to ignore her and show her that I don't need her in my life. :/ Really need someone to talk to Someone reply to me? She forced NC on you? Did you contact her during those 9 days? How many days were YOU no contact by your choice? What was your reply as to why your mum added her on FB?? Then what was her reply?
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Bad ****ing day. Don't know why. Went for a few beers after work. Feeling self destructive. Hope you're all coping better.
15Love Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Bad ****ing day. Don't know why. Went for a few beers after work. Feeling self destructive. Hope you're all coping better. I'm sorry you're having a bad day. When I have a day like that I take a shower, light sleep aid and go to bed WAY early. If I stay awake it gets worse and worse. Probably ending in broken contact late in the evening. Save yourself the heart ache and get some rest. You'll feel so much better in the morning.
Xiomn Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) She forced NC on you? Did you contact her during those 9 days? How many days were YOU no contact by your choice? What was your reply as to why your mum added her on FB?? Then what was her reply? Yes, without going off on a tangent, she eventually said I don't think we should keep in contact anymore because she knew I couldn't just be friends with her, said it was messing her up big time speaking to me not because she was hurt about the breakup per se but because it hurt her speaking to me knowing I was hurt and she hates hurting people, so basically we said our goodbyes and went NC, me reluctantly but I did it anyway because doing otherwise would have pushed her away again. I did not contact her throughout the 9 days, (until she contacted me today asking why my mum added her on FB) Basically I asked my mum whether she added my ex and she said she didn't why would I?, I told my ex that and she replied saying 'weird' I said Are you sure it was her, what was the profile picture? She replied yes i'm sure it was her then gave a description of my mums profile picture that matched. I told her well, I don't know what is going on and said I'll ask her again. She replied saying nah don't bother just leave it' (sounded a bit cold, or maybe I'm just looking into that too much) then the last thing I said was 'she must have been hacked. Alright'. Haven't spoken since, looks like we're both going back to NC. (although I don't think my mum was hacked, I think she was lying to me to tell the truth) Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn
15Love Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Yes, without going off on a tangent, she eventually said I don't think we should keep in contact anymore because she knew I couldn't just be friends with her, said it was messing her up big time speaking to me not because she was hurt but because it hurt her speaking to me knowing I was hurt and she hates hurting people, so basically we said our goodbyes and went NC. I did not contact her throughout the 9 days, (until she contacted me today asking why my mum added her on FB) Basically I asked my mum whether she added my ex and she said she didn't why would I?, I told my ex that and she replied saying 'weird' I said Are you sure it was her, what was the profile picture? She replied yes i'm sure it was her then gave a description of my mums profile picture that matched. I told her well, I don't know what is going on and said I'll ask her again. She replied saying nah don't bother just leave it' (sounded a bit cold, or maybe I'm just looking into that too much) then the last thing I said was 'she must have been hacked. Alright'. Haven't spoken since, looks like we're both going back to NC. (although I don't think my mum was hacked, I think she was lying to me to tell the truth) Lol! Moms! Sorry she broke NC. That always makes it so hard. If it's any consolation, I think you handled it perfectly. It'll make her crazy.
Xiomn Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Lol! Moms! Sorry she broke NC. That always makes it so hard. If it's any consolation, I think you handled it perfectly. It'll make her crazy. Well, the reason I think she's lying is because at the same time she was also liking a lot of my posts on my Facebook wall from years ago, some going as far back as 5 years.. so she must have have been stalking my wall.. creepy. Anyway I asked her (my mum) are you going down my newsfeed from years back and she said no. I said are you liking stuff on my walls from years ago and she said no (even though it came up on multiple occasions in my notifications of her liking stuff.) I didn't like being so confrontational with her but I thought it was a bit creepy and weird. Strangely though when i clicked the notifications and it took me to the thing she liked her like on the status didn't even show up which I thought was very odd. So I called her out on one of the things she liked, I sent her a link of one of the things I got a notification of her liking on my wall from 5 years ago and said did you just like this status from 5 years ago on my wall? She said I can't remember, I replied to her saying how can you not remember when it says you've just liked it 10 minutes ago? Guess what, she didn't reply despite it coming up saying she saw my message. I told her I know you've seen my message but you're not replying and she replied 'I do reply' but at the same time completely avoided the question I asked her in the first place. I know that in the past when me and my now ex were still together my mum has liked stuff on her wall, stuff that I wasn't even tagged in and my mum wasn't friends with her on Facebook at all during the time either, so i know she's been creeping on my girlfriends wall in the past I think. I don't trust her. If you don't mind me asking, what makes you think it will drive her crazy? If anything she said 'don't bother just leave it' so it sounds like she doesn't really give a crap and that's the last thing she said before going back NC.
15Love Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Because if she really didn't care she wouldn't break nc to ask you that or anything els. She'd either let your mom creep or she would block her. She lost. She reached out. She's tryign to regain the upper hand by acting all "nah, never mind". But she could have done that by just not saying anything. You being civil and not pouring your heart out...means, you win:laugh: Congratulation. You win round one. Who's gonna win round two? I hope it's you!
Xiomn Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Because if she really didn't care she wouldn't break nc to ask you that or anything els. She'd either let your mom creep or she would block her. She lost. She reached out. She's tryign to regain the upper hand by acting all "nah, never mind". But she could have done that by just not saying anything. You being civil and not pouring your heart out...means, you win:laugh: Congratulation. You win round one. Who's gonna win round two? I hope it's you! I guess.. I can see where you're coming from, especially since she was the one saying we shouldn't keep in contact just 9 days prior, but she could have just thought it was genuinely weird and thought to ask me why, but who knows.
15Love Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Nope. It's not genuinely weird....it's rather boring as situations go. She was looking for an excuse to try to get you to stroke her ego. Ding ding ding. Round two. Gloves up!
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I'm sorry you're having a bad day. When I have a day like that I take a shower, light sleep aid and go to bed WAY early. If I stay awake it gets worse and worse. Probably ending in broken contact late in the evening. Save yourself the heart ache and get some rest. You'll feel so much better in the morning. I drank too much and smoked a cigar. Feeling really ****ty. Horrible. It's not even because of her, just been in a **** mood lately.
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Today I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. It wasn't because of anything anyone said or did. It wasn't because I did anything special with how I looked (I was in my same old work outfit of jeans, tshirt, safety vest, steel toes, and the ever present mud splattered all over the whole ensemble). It was because when I was getting into my work truck I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and maybe it was because I wasn't really thinking about anything or feeling anything, but I saw myself like a stranger would: I wasn't focussing on all the flaws I personally think my face usually has but instead saw it as a whole. It was really weird, but enlightening at the same time. I realized I'm not the ugly dog I thought I was through the last few years of my crappy RS but that I just felt that way due to how broken down I let myself become due to everything that happened through it. I've been told I have a pretty smile that's infectious. Today I finally saw it as other people see it instead of seeing it through my own negative self criticism. It was a smile, and a happy one, and it made me feel pretty. 2
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 He has been calling and sent a FB request. I believe he just wants to keep tabs on me, that's it. He is so fake! You want to hear my voice, knowing what u did made me feel miserable. So now you want to pump up your ego. It's all a big fake trick.
Phoenixashes Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Nc day two over. In every other circumstance, even if I ended things, I'd come running back to make peace/fix. Always was me fixing things. I know he's banking on it. The urge to write him gets stronger at night but...I reread the way he cursed me out and that kills it. I don't feel anything when I see his pictures...nothing. no attraction. No love. A bit of disgust creeping in. Think I mourned the death of it months ago and couldn't take anymore. Hang in there, guys. 2
kenmore Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Yes, without going off on a tangent, she eventually said I don't think we should keep in contact anymore because she knew I couldn't just be friends with her, said it was messing her up big time speaking to me not because she was hurt about the breakup per se but because it hurt her speaking to me knowing I was hurt and she hates hurting people, so basically we said our goodbyes and went NC, me reluctantly but I did it anyway because doing otherwise would have pushed her away again. I did not contact her throughout the 9 days, (until she contacted me today asking why my mum added her on FB) Basically I asked my mum whether she added my ex and she said she didn't why would I?, I told my ex that and she replied saying 'weird' I said Are you sure it was her, what was the profile picture? She replied yes i'm sure it was her then gave a description of my mums profile picture that matched. I told her well, I don't know what is going on and said I'll ask her again. She replied saying nah don't bother just leave it' (sounded a bit cold, or maybe I'm just looking into that too much) then the last thing I said was 'she must have been hacked. Alright'. Haven't spoken since, looks like we're both going back to NC. (although I don't think my mum was hacked, I think she was lying to me to tell the truth) I had two similar things. After my wife and I went NC, I got a request to connect on linkdin. I thought she was trying to communicate with me so I clicked it. Nothing happened. I got another request about a week later so I asked her about it when we were talking about something else and she said she never sent it. Another time during this breakup, I got a notification of a message from her on FB...from two years ago! I really think these sites screw with us. Your mum didn't add her but I'd bet she did get the announcement. Coincidence?
Amas5750 Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Omg feeling do good relative to what I Have been feeling. First day in ages I didn't bawl my ****ing eyes out. Thank god for whatever peace is in me at the moment. Oh thank god 3
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