StrangerThanFiction Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 I'm so tired of being alone. All I ever wanted was someone to share my life with. I wasted 7 years on someone who never even loved me. Maybe I deserved it for being so stupid.
DK666 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 It is so crazy. I look back at my old posts. And i am actually really glad I have a record of my feelings. Because It really does help me figure out what i was feeling at the time, and why I could not understand it at the time. For example, about 5 months ago I was confused about my feelings for a new guy I was dating after my ex. I was not sure if I really liked him, but was just not ready. Or if I did not like him enough, and thats why I could not commit to him. Well 5 months later (now), I know exactly what it was. I really liked him, but was just simply not ready. It didnt have anything to do with not liking him enough. And i was not jealous or angry jsut because he moved on. I genuinely liked this guy, but I really couldnt commit to him at the time because I was still in love with my, or the idea of my ex I should say. CRAZY how time puts everything into perspective. I really needed those 5 months to realize that how I truly felt about this guy. Now that my mind is cleared of my past, and my ex, I see everything so much clearer now. I no longer have this fogged mind. But I let a good one get away because I could not see it at the time. Which really is a shame. Such a shame. He is with someone else now. And i remember seeing him with someone else at the time 5 months ago. And I really wanted to confess my feelings for him then, but i couldnt get myself to do it because I still really wasnt sure if my feelings for him were real. How is that I can realize it now? I was so infatuated with my ex, and he was the only person i truly wanted at the time. So, at the time, the new guy wasnt what i wanted. But now that I see what is good for me, what is right for me, and how much I really liked the new guy, I see how he was a great match for me. It is so frustrating that I could not see this before...I keep saying this. Because it is frustrating. But I am so tired of trying to control situations which I hold no power over. It is not my fault, and I cannot blame myself for not realizing it sooner. I really needed this time to heal and to be single in order to get to where I am at right now. I may have let a good thing go, but only God knows why. God has his plans for me. I just need to conitue to have faith and my future is truly in God's hands. I am no longer going to try to control what i cannot control. Or blame myself. I have told him how i feel, and that is the most that I can do. If we cross paths in the future, we cross paths. If not, then we dont. Thats it. I have to keep pushing forward, and bring forth the lessons that I learn along the way. And in God's timing, I will cross paths with the person I am meant to be with. Its in His hands. it feels so good to let go, and really give it to God. My ex ex girlfriend, who I am actually becoming good friends with now said something to me while we were together that always stuck with me, and I actually had to remind her of it recently due to issues she is having with her current relationship. "Focus on your area of influence, not your area of concern."
Brokenman88 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'm not coping well at all today, my fiancé and daughter left me 2 weeks ago, I still get to see my daughter whenever I want, I just miss having her by my side whenever I get home from work I miss what I had but can't do anything to get it back, it's like life seems worthless I want her back but she isn't happy she's lost and feels trapped with me. It's so hard not to contact her but I'm doing it.
Cupid's Puppet Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Dating again and making new friends has brought me among the living again. At the same time, my dating life can get sticky and I can't help but miss the comfort and familiarity of my ex. I got nostalgia tonight thinking about the moments leading up to us falling in love with each other. Then it hit me all over again, shocked my body, that I am really not going to spend the rest of my life with him. It is still so surreal to me, and I feel like I will never feel love like that again. Or I might fall in love, I know I am capable, but may not be as vulnerable as I was before because I am still so in love with my ex. I wonder if this will always eat at my soul because that thought has me wanting to die again. I just feel like my existence is a waste of time, but at least these feelings aren't as common as they were last year around this time. Just having one of those days I guess.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I want to smile again, laugh like I use to. I want to feel happy because it's pretty outside. I used to feel this way before the relationship. I don't want to blame. I just want myself back. I used to exercise, eat healthy and enjoy the AIR. I want all of that back. 1
Ariess10 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 It's been 4 months , I miss her I don't know what it is about the last couple days but I'm thinking of her a lot more .. I know I'm still in love with her even tho she has moved on.. I just can't move in that fast .. I don't want to date , I couldn't careless about it .. Thought of her falling in love with someone else and that guy being the one she marrys makes me feel really sad .. I hope this passes, it feels like I'll be stuck on this forever
Mathematics Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 By listening to the new Tame Impala album. Some of the tracks are based around break ups and it is havin a devastating effect on me right now. It is good to feel sometimes.
Xiomn Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I usually feel somewhat fine throughout the day and even at night. What gets me is the mornings, I always wake up like an hour or 2 before my alarm goes off because I think my body has just become accustomed to it (not because of the breakup) but every time I wake up I start feeling really bad anxiety again because it hits me all over again that we're not together anymore and then I can't get back to sleep. Seriously need a quick remedy for mornings, If I could get the initial morning pain out the way things would be a lot better. 1
BriNyc82 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I usually feel somewhat fine throughout the day and even at night. What gets me is the mornings, I always wake up like an hour or 2 before my alarm goes off because I think my body has just become accustomed to it (not because of the breakup) but every time I wake up I start feeling really bad anxiety again because it hits me all over again that we're not together anymore and then I can't get back to sleep. Seriously need a quick remedy for mornings, If I could get the initial morning pain out the way things would be a lot better. If you have any remedies please share lol
candie13 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 hey, guys, I have a new thing for you to test: meet a new person (you're obviously not sure about her/him as it's most likely too soon, if you're posting here) an date her for some time. Like ... a week or so, 3-4 dates. Try to absolutely make it by the 3rd 4th date. By that time, the person might actually grow on you, you will like the company and the thought of a potential new RS will start to creep in on you. Of course, you will inevitably fail at it - that I assure you of . But that thing... that very thing, that you are out there, trying, giving people a chance... letting someone new to get closer again... trust me, after you have fcked up, you won't be thinking of your ex. It will sting a bit, for the next few days, but look at the whole picture and at the greater good... after the 3rd 4th consecutive date, you will have let someone new closer and that... is only possible if you let the ghost go. That in itself is big. Huge. That's what helped me cope today. Not quite sure if I was ready... but trying it out anyway. And by doing so, healing. I wish you all loads of courage and strength to go on. best of luck 2
nouedis Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'm not coping good at the moment. I kind of just want to give up. Life is pretty bad for me right now on certain things. I wish all of you the best, though. May y'all be having a greater day than me.
BriNyc82 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 hey, guys, I have a new thing for you to test: meet a new person (you're obviously not sure about her/him as it's most likely too soon, if you're posting here) an date her for some time. Like ... a week or so, 3-4 dates. Try to absolutely make it by the 3rd 4th date. By that time, the person might actually grow on you, you will like the company and the thought of a potential new RS will start to creep in on you. Of course, you will inevitably fail at it - that I assure you of . But that thing... that very thing, that you are out there, trying, giving people a chance... letting someone new to get closer again... trust me, after you have fcked up, you won't be thinking of your ex. It will sting a bit, for the next few days, but look at the whole picture and at the greater good... after the 3rd 4th consecutive date, you will have let someone new closer and that... is only possible if you let the ghost go. That in itself is big. Huge. That's what helped me cope today. Not quite sure if I was ready... but trying it out anyway. And by doing so, healing. I wish you all loads of courage and strength to go on. best of luck I have a first date tomorrow. My first date since this breakup or whatever you wanna call it. I'm not even nervous. I'm not excited. I'm not really anything. I hope that at the very least it will be nice to know that maybe someone else can make me laugh or smile. 2
candie13 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I have a first date tomorrow. My first date since this breakup or whatever you wanna call it. I'm not even nervous. I'm not excited. I'm not really anything. I hope that at the very least it will be nice to know that maybe someone else can make me laugh or smile. I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but it's important to get out there and reach out to people. I remember that numbness. You'll snap out of it, trust me. Actually, going there and considering / evaluating men from that perspective is already a big step forward. Irrelevant of the results . It's a journey. I think it's fantastic that you've made that first step. best of luck
freebird31 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 It would be really nice for me to get something I wanted, for once in my love life. just feeling so down and defeated. Trying to lift my spirits up. But I can't help but feel like I lost something good. Ha. Just so damn ridiculous. And once again, it's always just ME that has to deal with it. Everyone else is perfectly okay. It's just me. Of course. That never changes. I'm so frustrated with everything. I just feel like I have no control anymore. I just feel defeated. I want to fight back and fight for what I want and what I deserve. But something also tells me that maybe it was taken because it wasn't meant for me. I do not know what to do.
Jonp219 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Lately I've been thinking about my ex less and less. What leads me back to her is the fact that I'm just not dating right now. Me not having any dating prospects is what leads my thoughts back to my ex. Other than that I don't give a monkeys anus about her. What does this mean? Lol 1
BriNyc82 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I hadn't really thought about him all day. Then I was in a coworkers office shooting the ****. This is a new co worker of mine that I will be working closely with. He told me he saw me two months ago at the bar with some guy (ex) and one of my friends. He said we were all over each other and looked like we were having a really good time. I was like interesting you say that bc that's the night he ended things! Lol and then I just started thinking about that night all over again. He's like, well the guy looked like an a hole anyway. He said I was def being a lot nicer to him than he was to me. So random.
BriNyc82 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but it's important to get out there and reach out to people. I remember that numbness. You'll snap out of it, trust me. Actually, going there and considering / evaluating men from that perspective is already a big step forward. Irrelevant of the results . It's a journey. I think it's fantastic that you've made that first step. best of luck Thanks Candie. Can't hurt right? I got nothing to lose. Worse case scenario I get a nice buzz. My fear is that if it goes bad I'll be thinking how easy it was with my ex. Not trying to be a negative nelly but it's happened before. So I just hope it doesn't set me back even more. I just want one reallllly fun date where I can say "ok someone else can mKe me smile and laugh!" I may not be 100% ready to date but I need to do this for me 1
BriNyc82 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Lately I've been thinking about my ex less and less. What leads me back to her is the fact that I'm just not dating right now. Me not having any dating prospects is what leads my thoughts back to my ex. Other than that I don't give a monkeys anus about her. What does this mean? Lol I hear ya! I could give a rats $$ what he's up to! I'm realizing the things I missed about him I probably could find in someone else plus a whole lot more depth. I think if I can put my energy into someone else and put myself out there with other people he will pop into my head less and less I think it's a good thing! 1
candie13 Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Thanks Candie. Can't hurt right? I got nothing to lose. Worse case scenario I get a nice buzz. My fear is that if it goes bad I'll be thinking how easy it was with my ex. Not trying to be a negative nelly but it's happened before. So I just hope it doesn't set me back even more. I just want one reallllly fun date where I can say "ok someone else can mKe me smile and laugh!" I may not be 100% ready to date but I need to do this for me I actually think that even if it's 120% bad, it will put things into perspective for you. Just make sure not to get over involved - if it's really good or really bad. Take it easy, girl, just go with the flow !
candie13 Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I hadn't really thought about him all day. Then I was in a coworkers office shooting the ****. This is a new co worker of mine that I will be working closely with. He told me he saw me two months ago at the bar with some guy (ex) and one of my friends. He said we were all over each other and looked like we were having a really good time. I was like interesting you say that bc that's the night he ended things! Lol and then I just started thinking about that night all over again. He's like, well the guy looked like an a hole anyway. He said I was def being a lot nicer to him than he was to me. So random. aaaargh, I absolutely hate it when that happens. I do. I really do. When other people can just.. .tell that you're more involved than him. Anyway, it just sucks. I know it and you know it. Next time - less wishful thinking and self projection and more reality check and intuition sensing. I start to feel men a lot better, with time - that's one great thing about aging ! 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Today has been rough. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but I've been really hurting. It's been two and half months since the BU and the same for NC. He's still blocked on everything and I've had no temptation to contact him in any way...but today I miss him again and am feeling really sad. 1
mossycup Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Don't know if anyone else has heard about "Venus in Retrograde" (google it) but anyone who is longing to be reunited with a past love will certainly find themselves interested in this astrological phenomenon. I don't know how much I believe in such things, but it's HARD not to get SOME hopes up after readin about it. It's been 11 weeks now. I'm obsessing more about him coming back, whereas before I was more hurting because he was gone, or thinking about other things. I have nightmares where I see him and he is still cold to me. I ask random people what they think and I get more and more theoretical insight, but of course no actual insight. Sure, I could call him, and ask him, WHY? WHY? Why did you say you loved me and that I was the best and that our relationship was wonderful every day for 17 months, and then dump me right before we moved in together and tell me you never loved me and I "could have been anyone, ok, i was a bit special." Why don't I do that? Because I don't want to be crushed again. I don't want to hear anything from him except that he still loves me, which obviously if he did, he would say without me having to ask, I assume. So I keep on with NC because it is the least painful option I feel. All the obsessing though, it's avoiding the reality, which is, he's gone. My best friend is gone. Even though it's terrible that he ripped the past apart as well as the present, the way he broke up with me, pulling out all the threads, not even leaving me with the happy memories untarnished, that's still water under the bridge. I can look back and say, who knows? But the pain is that I love him, and he is gone. On a positive note I almost thought about getting into a rebound relationship but then thought better of it. I don't need more pain and suffering from men in my life. I think I need more pain, really - when I feel less pain, it means I'm fantasizing that he still loves me, and that's when I have the nightmares about him being cold to me. My subconsious, maybe it's trying to keep me moving forward with the pain, rather than the fantasies. Ok. I can do it. More sad, more sad. It's ok, I'm used to it!
Mathematics Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) hey, guys, I have a new thing for you to test: meet a new person (you're obviously not sure about her/him as it's most likely too soon, if you're posting here) an date her for some time. Like ... a week or so, 3-4 dates. Try to absolutely make it by the 3rd 4th date. By that time, the person might actually grow on you, you will like the company and the thought of a potential new RS will start to creep in on you. Of course, you will inevitably fail at it - that I assure you of . But that thing... that very thing, that you are out there, trying, giving people a chance... letting someone new to get closer again... trust me, after you have fcked up, you won't be thinking of your ex. It will sting a bit, for the next few days, but look at the whole picture and at the greater good... after the 3rd 4th consecutive date, you will have let someone new closer and that... is only possible if you let the ghost go. That in itself is big. Huge. That's what helped me cope today. Not quite sure if I was ready... but trying it out anyway. And by doing so, healing. I wish you all loads of courage and strength to go on. best of luck Good post Candie. I have done just as you describe. Tonight is 4th date with a girl. 3rd date was my house and she stayed the night. She's a lovely girl, and if I was at a different stage of my life (not 6 weeks post break up) id be happier, but I cant shake the thoughts of my ex. I really hope that as I get to no this girl better she will become relationship material, but now I just worry about being hurt again.... I also don't want to hurt this girl. If she were to ask me tonight, point blank, what my intentions are I don't want to upset her by I am not looking for a relationship right now. Fortunately, she hasn't asked me yet. Edited July 28, 2015 by Mathematics
candie13 Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Good post Candie. I have done just as you describe. Tonight is 4th date with a girl. 3rd date was my house and she stayed the night. She's a lovely girl, and if I was at a different stage of my life (not 6 weeks post break up) id be happier, but I cant shake the thoughts of my ex. I really hope that as I get to no this girl better she will become relationship material, but now I just worry about being hurt again.... I also don't want to hurt this girl. If she were to ask me tonight, point blank, what my intentions are I don't want to upset her by I am not looking for a relationship right now. Fortunately, she hasn't asked me yet. I am a firm believer in not leading people on. I told my date several times I wanted to take things easier, to get to know eachtother. Unfortunately for me, we ended up having 3 dates in 5 days, so that was anything but slow. I am glad he asked me about where we were (and that it blew in my face later on), because I am not ready to be swept off my feet. I want to know the guy in front of me, i want to not secondguess all my moves and actions... and not feel like I'm faking that RS, only to benefit from some affection and attention... I'm not ready . Or maybe not with him. I'm 35 so I know better than sleeping with a guy before being exclusive. I'm also done with sleeping with men out of impulsivity. I think I've reached that age when sex actually means something to me and want it to mean something for my partner too. So i'm holding off seriously on that. today marks the end of the 11th week since the break up, i'm starting the 12th soon. it takes time to heal and I am done trying to push myself in that direction. It'll come when it'll come. Not there yet. I am glad that I met that guy, 'cause I didn't realize I wasn't ready. I've stopped OLD (again )
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