15Love Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 After such a strong week last week for me, today I have woken up and felt incredibly low. I'm starting to remember other things about the relationship now that I really miss; the touch of her lips, the way she held my hand and so many other things, it's making me feel incredibly depressed. I always knew there were gonna be bad days to come, but I guess this one just sneaked up on me. I hate it when that happens! I so badly want to text her, but I know it's the wrong thing to do for me to heal. Even so I so badly still want things to go back to the way they were, but I do realise that that is a pipe dream, and I need to get a grip. Days like this suck so much, you're not alone. Thank you, yeah, that's exactly it. I feel like I can't even be alone in a room with my phone! It's like a crack pipe or something. " ooooo, I could just shoot him a little hello" but it would be so detrimental for moving forward. This is why it would do no good to block him because I'm the one who usually breaks down. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. It helps so much. 1
Throldur Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Well, I've tried.. I've gone and put myself out there. All I get are dates that go no-where, flakes, and rejections. There is absolute 0 rhyme or reason out there. People are too afraid to actually communicate honestly and it's just garbage. I tried. I tried improving myself. I went out and approached women with desire and an open mind. I put the fear behind me and I went out and tried. There's no results. I never asked for much in my life. All I ever wanted to do was fall in love, build that love into something that would last and enjoy it as we went on our life's journey together. That's not meant for me. I had the love of my life and she's gone. No matter how much my style improves, how much better I make my body, no matter how great of a guy I am, no matter what I do, nothing will change anything. This is my destiny and I don't know why I keep bumping up against it. The Universe has ordered me to sit down and accept that what I want most out of life just isn't meant for me. 2
theredpill Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I've been so pissed off lately. Pissed off because I continue to blame myself and because this girl continues to take up space in my head. I feel incredibly bitter towards the world and everyone around me. I feel inadequate, inferior, and useless compared to every better looking man that I see. My ex was completely right, she can do a lot better than me. What's better than an emotionally volatile, whiny, indecisive, non-centered little bitch? Well anything really. I feel like my soul is just drying up and turning me into a hateful, vengeful jerk-off. Yes, i'm giving her way too much power, but I don't care, she had the power all along. After all, she did break up with me and left in this hole of despair to pick my scabs and lick my wounds. Dude, you sound like a great guy and the power is in you! Remember once the scabs have gone, there's fresh new skin and you'll forget there was ever a scab 2
DK666 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Thank you, yeah, that's exactly it. I feel like I can't even be alone in a room with my phone! It's like a crack pipe or something. " ooooo, I could just shoot him a little hello" but it would be so detrimental for moving forward. This is why it would do no good to block him because I'm the one who usually breaks down. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. It helps so much. It doesn't feel like it to me yet but this is why it is fortunate that my ex blocked me (on Facebook at least as far as I know) so I have no choice in whether I should throw her a message or not. I haven't messaged her via text so I don't know if she's blocked me on that, and as far as I can tell she hasn't blocked me on WhatsApp as I can still see when she was last online. I haven't succumbed to the temptation to actually message her yet, but I have been close to breaking down on quite a few occasions. The high from the weekend didn't last nearly long enough, the fact that she looked really unhappy seeing me with another girl on Saturday doesn't have the same boost on me now as it did then (though is does still help a little), so the urge to try and see her or message her is back as strong as ever. Like you said it's a crack pipe, especially when you remember more and more of the good things. 1
Calidude6 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Well, I've tried.. I've gone and put myself out there. All I get are dates that go no-where, flakes, and rejections. There is absolute 0 rhyme or reason out there. People are too afraid to actually communicate honestly and it's just garbage. I tried. I tried improving myself. I went out and approached women with desire and an open mind. I put the fear behind me and I went out and tried. There's no results. I never asked for much in my life. All I ever wanted to do was fall in love, build that love into something that would last and enjoy it as we went on our life's journey together. That's not meant for me. I had the love of my life and she's gone. No matter how much my style improves, how much better I make my body, no matter how great of a guy I am, no matter what I do, nothing will change anything. This is my destiny and I don't know why I keep bumping up against it. The Universe has ordered me to sit down and accept that what I want most out of life just isn't meant for me. I'm in the same boat as I feel the same exact way. I know exactly what I want in life and feel like the women I've dated has discouraged me to believe there is someone special for me that wants the same thing I do. However, I felt the same way before I met my ex which was unexpected. I now believe the same thing will happen, unexpected, some women will come across my path that grabs my attention. I pray and hope that everything that I've experienced and learned has helped me become a better person/boyfriend that my next will be my last because I'm so done with new relationships. I want to have someone for good without them leaving me. I've never been a bad boyfriend but I guess girls lose interest when they are young? I don't know but I hope you and I both get what we deserve. Hang in there, that great women will come when we least expect it. 3
Jonp219 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Today i'm not doing any better. Today I feel like my relationship was built on luck. I was lucky to have an accepting girl, I was lucky she put up with my ****, I was lucky she took the time to know me long enough to fall in love. I don't believe i'm worthy of love on any level. I still remember her 'love gaze'. You know? That look you give someone when you just absolutely know you're with the right person and they make you happy? I remember when she use to look at me like that and now I know for a fact no other girl will ever look at me like that again. She could of done way better and she didn't even know it at the time, but now she does.
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 So far today I'm doing a lot better than yesterday. I think I was just tired and that made it harder for me to deal with emotions I normally would've had no problem with while running in a full tank. I am feeling a kind've...dissipated, hollow sadness today, though. Been ruminating on how he treated the OW like a princess while he treated me like an ATM machine. It still hurts knowing that he's probably doing all these sweet things for her and making monumental effort to keep her happy while he made next to zero effort for me and thought doing the dishes or emptying an ashtray without being asked equalled doing something sweet for me. My eyes are rolling so hard right now. It also occurred to me today that since the BU 2 months ago I've never seriously wondered if he misses me at all. Nor have I cared. I know he doesn't miss me. Why would he when he's with the woman of his dreams? Maybe that's why I don't care if he does or not; it's a moot point. I guess some cold comfort is that even though she's this super amazing perfect goddess, he still lied to and cheated on her with me for the two years he was dating both of us at the same time. I guess at least he only lied and cheated on me with her for the last two years of our 7 year RS instead of from the very beginning to 2 years later lol. She's so lucky. Eyes are rolling again. Hopefully she'll catch him in one of his lies sooner rather than later and drop his a$$ instead of doing what I did and repeatedly forgive him. Whatever. Not my problem now.
Morphine Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I just sat in the toilet for 5 minutes crying my eyes ut while she is meeting with a new boyfriend. My life sucks at the moment.
Throldur Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I'm in the same boat as I feel the same exact way. I know exactly what I want in life and feel like the women I've dated has discouraged me to believe there is someone special for me that wants the same thing I do. However, I felt the same way before I met my ex which was unexpected. I now believe the same thing will happen, unexpected, some women will come across my path that grabs my attention. I pray and hope that everything that I've experienced and learned has helped me become a better person/boyfriend that my next will be my last because I'm so done with new relationships. I want to have someone for good without them leaving me. I've never been a bad boyfriend but I guess girls lose interest when they are young? I don't know but I hope you and I both get what we deserve. Hang in there, that great women will come when we least expect it. I honestly don't get it, man. Like, I'm a shy guy and since the break-up I've done everything I could, I've gone back to the gym, got a new hair-cut, improved my fashion sense, tanned, got back into my hobbies, worked on posture/speech, and without anybody in my social circle willing to do anything, got out there and made things happen for myself. I met a girl at my buddy's bands show. She wrote poetry the same as I did. She was super interested, we had a good conversation, I was touching her and she was enjoying it. I got her number, she was eager, responsive, and excited to set up a date with me. We go on a date, it goes well, and I ask her out for a second date, she seems receptive. I get home then try to set up a second date with her after a couple days and it takes her forever to respond, I get my spidey-sense going and I'm like, yep, I know what's coming.. she says she's too busy for dating right now and that was that. Alright, that sucks but whatever. So, I'm at another show on Thursday. Nervous as always but decide to go for it. I sit next to a girl, we have tons in common, she's laughing, having a great time, and we were gonna go hang out further but she was friends with the band, they were leaving the next day and they invited her to hang with them so naturally I was cool with letting her see her friends before they go. Got her number, gave her mine. She texts me saying how it was nice talking to me, so again, set up a date for Thursday and she's all receptive to that. I get a text saying, Oh my friends are flying to Scotland on the weekend, so I think I'm gonna have to have drinks with that night with them instead. So, I just say, that's cool, let's get together friday night then. No response and it's been almost 24 hours since I sent that.. so obviously, it's a flake. I just don't understand how they go from hot to so cold in a short period of time. It's frustrating. I wish people were just upfront and honest. If you don't want a date, say no. If you do want a date, stick with it. If you go on the date and the connection isn't being felt your way, tell me. I'm 26 years old, I've been around the block, no need to handle me with kid gloves. I'm just tired of it all. Screw these mindless games with girls. I'll just be the guy who lives alone with cats who reminisces on the girl he loved with all his heart and ran away for something worse. Hallelujah. Just not meant to be for me.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Same situation as the last time but this relationship lasted almost a year. I have breaks of crying, reminiscing, false hope then motivation to get busy with life again to feel better. It's happening in cycles. I try so hard not to burst into tears. Difference between this most recent heart break, I am not blowing up his phone, sending text messages or a good bye letter embarrassing myself. Maybe I will heal faster this time. I made a mistake and jumped in one too fast.
DK666 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 How am I doing today... I just found out that my ex has already started seeing someone else, barely 3 weeks after the breakup of our 2 year relationship. I didn't go looking for this info, it was volunteered to me, but I wish it hadn't been. What gets me is that this was a guy she used to follow on Facebook a lot and I actually suspected there may be more to it back when we were together. Apparently she's already introduced him to her kids in I don't know how short a time... it took us 5.5 months for her to introduce me to them as she didn't want them to see her with different guys every couple of months. Really ****ing confused right now. This girl is doing my head in.
Ariess10 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 How am I doing today... I just found out that my ex has already started seeing someone else, barely 3 weeks after the breakup of our 2 year relationship. I didn't go looking for this info, it was volunteered to me, but I wish it hadn't been. What gets me is that this was a guy she used to follow on Facebook a lot and I actually suspected there may be more to it back when we were together. Apparently she's already introduced him to her kids in I don't know how short a time... it took us 5.5 months for her to introduce me to them as she didn't want them to see her with different guys every couple of months. Really ****ing confused right now. This girl is doing my head in. I hear ya , it sucks when our exes move on , but we have to remember it's not about us , people deal with things differently , so just focuse on getting better and not what she's doing .. They don't want us in their life so be it !! You'll move on and be with someone that really cares for you and she will be nothing but someone you spent time with . That's how I am looking at it 1
Jonp219 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Almost 6 months since break-up... I don't think i'm ever going to be happy again. I didn't deserve a woman like her, I don't deserve any woman period.
DK666 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I hear ya , it sucks when our exes move on , but we have to remember it's not about us , people deal with things differently , so just focuse on getting better and not what she's doing .. They don't want us in their life so be it !! You'll move on and be with someone that really cares for you and she will be nothing but someone you spent time with . That's how I am looking at it I hear you, though like I said this information was given to me without me asking for it, I would much rather have carried on oblivious to what she is doing. Now that I do know though it's made me think about the relationship again, and it's doing my head in. Thinking about her being with someone else intimately does make me feel sick, but so soon after us means it's likely a rebound and that makes me feel better again lol. Even if it does last, by that time I will be over it anyway. I just know that the way she treats relationships she will not be happy long term, but I won't let that happen to me. Like you said, when I'm ready it's time to find someone to be with who truly cares about me. I'm still moving forward bit by bit, this is just a temporary step back.
15Love Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Was so busy today I barely thought about him at all...except the moment I slowed down I'm filled with missing him. 2.5 weeks NC. He usually textS by now. I wonder if he has a gf or something. He always made other girls his GF. Never me. I was always the OW...and the in between. Now I guess I'm nothing at all. I resent that the only way to not think of him is to be crazy busy. I want my down time back! I want to be able to be still and not drowning in thoughts, speculations and memories about him. I want my dreams back too! I hate worrying that even my sleep will be filled with him, leaving me starting the day off missing him all the more. Gawd, I hate him so much...I just want to hug him. I want my sanity back!!
DK666 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Was so busy today I barely thought about him at all...except the moment I slowed down I'm filled with missing him. 2.5 weeks NC. He usually textS by now. I wonder if he has a gf or something. He always made other girls his GF. Never me. I was always the OW...and the in between. Now I guess I'm nothing at all. I resent that the only way to not think of him is to be crazy busy. I want my down time back! I want to be able to be still and not drowning in thoughts, speculations and memories about him. I want my dreams back too! I hate worrying that even my sleep will be filled with him, leaving me starting the day off missing him all the more. Gawd, I hate him so much...I just want to hug him. I want my sanity back!! I dreamt of my ex last night too, and woke up thinking about her. I know she's seeing someone right now and while it's probably a rebound it still makes me feel sick. Try not to think about if he's seeing someone, cause if you find out for sure you will probably feel worse. Stay busy for now, I envy you that you have so much you can do. You'll get through it. 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Saturday night till Tuesday afternoonish I really thought I was 100% over this mess. Tuesday afternoon my mind starting wandering for some reason and I felt bad again. Yesterday after work I was in a bad mood, I started writing a rant in this thread then decided not to as it was just dredging up bad feelings. I decided to let go. I had a dream about her last night, but I woke up in a great mood. Every day gets a little better. NC works. If not only for yourself, but for the fact I know she's butthurt I deleted her from Social Media. Lame but it makes me feel empowered she knows I have no interest in her whatsoever. In short, have a nice life making your new bf miserable. Nobody should have to tolerate what you put people through. I hold no bitterness towards her (we broke up 6 months ago and she recently started a new rs), but I kept reminding myself of the crap she put me through and it's slowly playing dividends. Hope you're all coping well. 2
Ariess10 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Saturday night till Tuesday afternoonish I really thought I was 100% over this mess. Tuesday afternoon my mind starting wandering for some reason and I felt bad again. Yesterday after work I was in a bad mood, I started writing a rant in this thread then decided not to as it was just dredging up bad feelings. I decided to let go. I had a dream about her last night, but I woke up in a great mood. Every day gets a little better. NC works. If not only for yourself, but for the fact I know she's butthurt I deleted her from Social Media. Lame but it makes me feel empowered she knows I have no interest in her whatsoever. In short, have a nice life making your new bf miserable. Nobody should have to tolerate what you put people through. I hold no bitterness towards her (we broke up 6 months ago and she recently started a new rs), but I kept reminding myself of the crap she put me through and it's slowly playing dividends. Hope you're all coping well. I feel the same way , let her new bf put up with the disrespect I did .. He can have all that good luck!!
15Love Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I dreamt of my ex last night too, and woke up thinking about her. I know she's seeing someone right now and while it's probably a rebound it still makes me feel sick. Try not to think about if he's seeing someone, cause if you find out for sure you will probably feel worse. Stay busy for now, I envy you that you have so much you can do. You'll get through it. Thanks DK666, Uuugh, the dreams. I went to sleep praying I wouldn't have one and woke up thanking God I didn't have one last night. Unfortunately the busy stuff has to do with extended family in town, which unfortunately has resulted in two emotional family type discussion which is always a trigger for me. All I want to do is slip out and see him. But for the first time I really believe that he doesn't care if he sees me or not and I need to feel cared about for a change. So for the first time...he's not a believable solution to my turmoil anymore, even though I know I could go see him. So I guess that's progress! As sad as that is, that something that small is progress to me...I feel a little hopeful about it. I've always been very much in denial that he cares, that he wants to see me. I think I'm finally understanding...he doesn't. Ironically, today might actually be a good day! Hope things are getting better for you too.
Ariess10 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 It's funny when you break up with someone , you don't see the other side .. We think they don't care or they never cared .. The other day I ran into a girl I dated for 2 years .. We broke up about 3 years ago and she told me "for what it's worth I truly loved you and I haven't felt like that with anyone since" . It was a hard breakup for me , seeing how I tend to give my all .. So at the time I didn't think she cared at all but turns out she did . It kinda felt good knowing that I guess I'm not that easy to forget (even tho I feel like I am going through this breakup ) .. So all in all we really don't know what the other person is thinking .. They dated us and loved us so I think it would be hard to just forget .. 2
DK666 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Thanks DK666, Uuugh, the dreams. I went to sleep praying I wouldn't have one and woke up thanking God I didn't have one last night. Unfortunately the busy stuff has to do with extended family in town, which unfortunately has resulted in two emotional family type discussion which is always a trigger for me. All I want to do is slip out and see him. But for the first time I really believe that he doesn't care if he sees me or not and I need to feel cared about for a change. So for the first time...he's not a believable solution to my turmoil anymore, even though I know I could go see him. So I guess that's progress! As sad as that is, that something that small is progress to me...I feel a little hopeful about it. I've always been very much in denial that he cares, that he wants to see me. I think I'm finally understanding...he doesn't. Ironically, today might actually be a good day! Hope things are getting better for you too. I hope I can get to that stage where I realise my ex doesn't care soon. Upon finding out she is already seeing someone a couple weeks after the BU it really depleted any residual hope I had left so right now I feel more numb than anything. I was angry yesterday and had to vent (did it on here rather than to the ex thankfully) and while I felt better yesterday for it, today is more of a numb/depression day. I know it's ups and downs but I'm just tired of it all. I went through this last year when we broke up, and I went through it the year before with the previous ex after a 4 yr relationship. I'm just so tired of having to go through this all the damn time, every year at the moment. Why is it so hard to find love along with loyalty and trustworthiness? Edited July 23, 2015 by DK666 2
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 It's funny when you break up with someone , you don't see the other side .. We think they don't care or they never cared .. The other day I ran into a girl I dated for 2 years .. We broke up about 3 years ago and she told me "for what it's worth I truly loved you and I haven't felt like that with anyone since" . It was a hard breakup for me , seeing how I tend to give my all .. So at the time I didn't think she cared at all but turns out she did . It kinda felt good knowing that I guess I'm not that easy to forget (even tho I feel like I am going through this breakup ) .. So all in all we really don't know what the other person is thinking .. They dated us and loved us so I think it would be hard to just forget .. Relationships are a funny thing. I've lost count of the girls I've been with that contacted me years later to see what I was up to. Guess GIGS doesn't always work out. Sometimes I was the dumper sometimes I was the dumpee but I've always been my consistent self in my relationships. I've never gotten back together long term with any of these people. Short flings that last a month sure but it doesn't take long to remember why it didn't work out. 1
15Love Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 It's funny when you break up with someone , you don't see the other side .. We think they don't care or they never cared .. The other day I ran into a girl I dated for 2 years .. We broke up about 3 years ago and she told me "for what it's worth I truly loved you and I haven't felt like that with anyone since" . It was a hard breakup for me , seeing how I tend to give my all .. So at the time I didn't think she cared at all but turns out she did . It kinda felt good knowing that I guess I'm not that easy to forget (even tho I feel like I am going through this breakup ) .. So all in all we really don't know what the other person is thinking .. They dated us and loved us so I think it would be hard to just forget .. Welllll, that's not good to know. If he "cares" I'd jump over the moon to just get to spend awhile with him. It's believing I annoy him and he can't stand my face that gives me any strength to stay away. I know if he knew I was thinking that he'd "kindly" correct me and let me know (VERBALLY) he DOES care. But actions have to speak louder then words or I'll spend the next 15 years on breadcrumbs!!
Ariess10 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Welllll, that's not good to know. If he "cares" I'd jump over the moon to just get to spend awhile with him. It's believing I annoy him and he can't stand my face that gives me any strength to stay away. I know if he knew I was thinking that he'd "kindly" correct me and let me know (VERBALLY) he DOES care. But actions have to speak louder then words or I'll spend the next 15 years on breadcrumbs!! What I meant was this , the relationship ended because we weren't meant to be .. Just like the breakup I'm going through now , we just weren't meant to be but maybe she hurts like me or maybe not .. Doesn't really matter in the end .. Just nice to know some can't forget me that easily 2
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