NomiMalone Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Week 4 NC: Not too good this week. Bumped into mutual friend who mentioned him. I didn't let on that I was upset, but inside it was like crap all over again... not back to square one thankfully, but definitely a few steps back. Just wanna talk to him so, so bad. I know that once I get over this bump on the road, things will get back to being better again.
RileyPayne Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Unblocked my ex on twitter and nearly checked in on her, but I pressed it and immediately backed out and tossed my phone under the bed. 1
TrevorDia Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I saw LoveShack in my favourites while doing a clearout of sites and it got me thinking about my ex - currently things are going well with a lady I've started seeing and I don't want to jinx anything there, so I won't say anything much about it. Work is still going crappy - but you fight the battles you can afford to lose... I'm sure another opportunity for a change of career will present itself eventually... Anyway, back to what I was saying about my ex - I thought I'd try count how long I've been in true Non-Contact for, and honestly I couldn't do it. But I do remember the day I broke off the weird quasi-friendshiprelationship - April 27th. So that makes it just over 2 months since the hardest day of my life. I'm starting to think things are looking up for a change. I no longer get urges to check on her, or message her, I no longer wonder if she thinks about me (ok, now I'm wondering it, haha). I tried going to the gym to "work on myself", but I'm most definitely not a gym person - I'm a "watch tv" kind of person - I've been going for long walks though. It's amazing how much beauty there is just outside your own house. There are days though when I think about her - but now I'm far too busy enjoying myself and my time with my new special-friend to care what some lass who broke my heart is doing with her time. As far as I'm concerned, she lost out. I do hope she's well though, heck, I really hope she becomes a celebrity like she wanted so I can say "I knew her way back when". Today is a good day 1
OldSoul86 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) I'm wondering how we got so attached when we maybe spent 10 percent of the time we were together in actual physical contact. 90 percent of our relationship was conducted over instant messaging and through video games. I am now sitting here questioning if what we had was ever sustainable. Upon reading some articles about long-distance relationships I came across some interesting points: 1.) Every time you see one another it is like Christmas - both are insanely happy and on their best behaviour. This doesn't allow for a natural day-to-day dynamic to occur (this is where you truly begin to know the person.) I did see some qualities of her through messaging that I did not like (complained way too much, negative, intransigent, needy, and indecisive.) 2.) How much do you really know the person? Especially in my case, since I never video chatted with her ever. We either saw each other in person or talked on instant messaging. I really hated that she never wanted to get on Skype with me. For all I know, there is a plethora of stuff that I wasn't made privy to about her life - which makes sense, because she never opened up to me about her life, which in turn made me a bit suspicious (especially now that it is over.) 3.) Distance means that you can't be spontaneous with your partner. If I wanted to go visit or she wanted to come visit, planning and packing would be done first. It was impossible for me to just drop everything to go visit her, and her come to visit me. Without spontaneity the relationship was a highlight reel of good times, which I suspect makes getting over this "half-baked" relationship difficult. I don't regret getting into the relationship, at least I had the chance to discover that I want much more from a partner. I do regret not realizing this kind of stuff sooner. I lost some prime dating years in a mostly cyber relationship sprinkled with the odd meetup over 1.5 years. Edited July 1, 2015 by OldSoul86 Details 1
RileyPayne Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 I broke and checked her twitter. There was nothing on there to suggest anything bad, but I broke and part of me feels better but part of me feels disappointed. I still want to cry and wish for her back, but it's not happening.
ASV Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Unable to move on, really. My only hope for the future is that, in a couple of years or so, she looks me up and finds just what she missed of our previous relationship in me - security, maturity (I was much more mature than her, but actual age may be a turn-off when there are so many voices out there laughing it off), who knows where I failed. I'm just clinging over and over again to her last words: "maybe when I come back you won't want me back". This and how she uttered "oh, how you turn me on" after leaving her at the station a week before the BU. Now I'd kill with bare hands for successful real-life stories where that "I love you but I'm not in love with you" didn't actually mean the end. Yeah, I know... 1
jallajalla08 Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Been seeing this girl for about a month and a half (hanging out, sex etc). Things were cool, and it seemed like both me and her wanted to become more serious. But a couple of weeks ago she went to a different part of the country to visit her parents. All of a sudden she went completely cold on me. No text etc. Even ran into her on the street, and she acted weird and distant. Despite of this I invited her out around a week ago. The answer I got was: "That sounds cool, but I'm quite busy right now. Another time, most definitely!" ... Then complete silence for a week. Last night I was out having drinks with a couple of friends of mine (which she knows as well). All of a sudden she turns up at our table, holding hands with another guy. They join us for drinks (most awkward situation you could imagine. At this point I was just struggling not to flip the f*ck out on her). I didn't really say anything to them, but my friends did. Turned out they met while she was visiting her parents, and now he had come all the away across the country to visit her. Eventually I just stood up and left the table without saying anything. Went home filled with anger and disappointment. I feel like the played me big time, and really want to call her out on being a f*cking b*tch. If she had told me weeks ago that she was not interested I would have taken it, but instead she acted "busy" and played me on. I know that it might not be the best idea to text her anything, just go no contact, but I'm so upset with her I want her to know it. Last night she seemed like it was totally OK to show up at my table with another dude... F*cked up.
15Love Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Been seeing this girl for about a month and a half (hanging out, sex etc). Things were cool, and it seemed like both me and her wanted to become more serious. But a couple of weeks ago she went to a different part of the country to visit her parents. All of a sudden she went completely cold on me. No text etc. Even ran into her on the street, and she acted weird and distant. Despite of this I invited her out around a week ago. The answer I got was: "That sounds cool, but I'm quite busy right now. Another time, most definitely!" ... Then complete silence for a week. Last night I was out having drinks with a couple of friends of mine (which she knows as well). All of a sudden she turns up at our table, holding hands with another guy. They join us for drinks (most awkward situation you could imagine. At this point I was just struggling not to flip the f*ck out on her). I didn't really say anything to them, but my friends did. Turned out they met while she was visiting her parents, and now he had come all the away across the country to visit her. Eventually I just stood up and left the table without saying anything. Went home filled with anger and disappointment. I feel like the played me big time, and really want to call her out on being a f*cking b*tch. If she had told me weeks ago that she was not interested I would have taken it, but instead she acted "busy" and played me on. I know that it might not be the best idea to text her anything, just go no contact, but I'm so upset with her I want her to know it. Last night she seemed like it was totally OK to show up at my table with another dude... F*cked up. Don't say anything to her. One - she's probably so caught up in this new thing that you'll barely be a blip on her radar. So you'll tell her like it is and she'll feel justified in moving on. Two - it was only a month and a half. You guys never decided to be serious. She really doesn't owe you anything. Three - she was probably trying to break it to you, albeit in a completely idiotic way, that there was someone else. Four - mostly don't say anything to her because you dodged a bullet with that one! She sounds selfish, insensitive and immature. Don't fight for (or over) someone like that. Save your energy and count your lucky stars that you didn't end up spending more time with someone who was capable of that degree of insensitivity. Chin up, now you know...don't forget to grow;) 1
NomiMalone Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Today I woke up and as usual, the first thing I thought about was him. But, for the first time, I felt like I was seeing the situation for what it is, without the haze of my emotions - he simply didn't feel the same way about me, and he ain't coming back. He has no idea how deeply cut I am about it all - in fact I've only talked about this whole thing honestly to two close friends. I guess I've arrived at the stage of acceptance, and all I feel now is emptiness and disappointment.
TrevorDia Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Feeling like a damn fool. Last night I had a dream that my ex died and it was one of those dreams so realistic that when I woke up I was still terrified. I needed to believe it was all a dream, but I haven't checked her social media in so long I wouldn't know if she was alive or dead. I've been spending all day fighting the urge to find her online, but I resisted. The only expense was that I've been really cold and distant with the girl I'm seeing all day and now she's mad at me. Thanks ex, still doing a fine job of helping me ruin my relationships even without being around.
Calidude6 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 As I'm healing and moving forward to better myself, the only thing that is getting me is that she moved on so quickly with a downgrade of a dude which helps ease the pain but still....that should be me and not him. I made some mistakes but they weren't major so not giving me a second chance makes me a little more anger than sad cause I would of gave her a second chance. I want to say so much to her but I can't because nothing good will come out of it. I want to tell her how I feel but I know that will ruin everything. I miss her and I hope she misses me too even if she is having a rebound. Hope she is happy as I'm getting myself to that stage but I still have my wishes of seeing her again. I'll just let life take me where it's suppose to take me. Miss you and love you Liz.
NomiMalone Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Last night I dreamt about him. It was him, but he was different. When I kissed him I felt like I was kissing a stranger, and his body was someone else's body. This is so screwed up. I know I need to start actively letting go, but I just don't know how. And I don't know if I want to. 1
15Love Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 I'm supposed to see him today. If I don't call I probably won't. If I do I ...maybe ...will. The trouble is he doesn't care either way. He's fine seeing me...he's fine not seeing me. I'm the only one in turmoil. I want so much to never want to see him again...but it's the only thing I can think about. What's it gonna take?!! Nothing sticks!
DK666 Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 I broke up with my ex girlfriend 9 days ago. Each day i wake up and feel totally numb. Last night I saw her out in a club with another guy all over her. Her sister was there too and she decided to start a massive argument with me, I found out that my ex had been spilling all the private things i had told her in confidence - things I have never told anyone else before, this has left me feeling incredibly vulnerable and betrayed. A part of me was hoping for reconciliation if I saw her out, but she didn't want to talk to me or see me at all, I feel so rejected. Thanks to the argument I'm certain there will never be a reconciliation now, so all I can do is try to heal and move on. I just don't know how to start.
Ariess10 Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Today just suck , sucks every way possible .. Even tho people tell me I am better off .. Sucks sucks suck.. Hopefully tomorrow is better
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Been a busy few days, but I am feeling a bit better. Had a wonderful fourth with friends. One of the ex's friends was there and called me "Mrs. [insert ex's last name here]" and it made me uncomfortable. He was just joking but still awkward. I start classes at college tomorrow. Feels nice to return to finish my degree and I will be so busy that I will hardly think of him. He told me I would never do it, but I am. 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Feeling lonely today. I don't really think I miss my ex, but I do miss having someone to share my life with. It's so hard imagine ever meeting someone new.
OldSoul86 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Feeling lonely today. I don't really think I miss my ex, but I do miss having someone to share my life with. It's so hard imagine ever meeting someone new. But you will, and it will be someone better than your ex - if you learn the lessons you need to learn, and become the best version of yourself, you WILL attract someone better. Keep your head up.
Cora Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 I'm not doing all that great today. Some days are better than others. I felt like I was moving forward, but today I just feel stuck. I was doing fine with the no contact until a month ago. I could not deal with the fact that he just vanished on me without saying goodbye or even giving me a reason why. So I caved and pretty much demanded answers from him. I felt pretty stupid right after. I don't know why I do such rash things! Long story short he told me he's still dealing with his health issues and his doctor thinks he might have a brain tumor and they want to run more tests. He said even though he's grown very fond of me that he did not feel like it was fair to drag me through this with him. Told me to do my thing, see other people and when he got through this he would say hi. That was the last I heard from him. I haven't tried to contact him since either. I told him I'd give him his space. So it's been 1 month of no contact. I just miss him so much. I'm scared that he is going through some serious health concerns right now and that I don't know how he is doing at this point in time. I'm scared that his test results weren't good. I'm scared that I may never hear from him again and I'm hurt that he chose not to allow me to at the very least be his friend through this difficult time. It's also crossed my mind that perhaps (as sick as it might sound) he might be lying to me and only using this as an excuse to be rid of me. Perhaps it was too difficult to tell me he's no longer interested in me. I hope that's not the case, but on the other hand I do hope it's the case because then he would not really be dealing with these health concerns. He shouldn't have to go through something like this. I hope he's not going through it alone. I know he's the type of person who shuts people out of his life during difficult situations. Despite everything that's happened, I still truly care about him and hope that he's ok. All I can do is pray for him since he wont allow me to be there for him. I know I have to be ok with whatever the outcome may be. It just hurts like nothing I've felt before. I miss him terribly and trying to get used to a life without him in it is tearing my heart apart.
DK666 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Feeling incredibly lonely today. After the dramatic weekend where I saw her with another guy it just really hit home how much I miss her, yet at the same time cannot believe that I am in this situation. How can she move on so quickly? I still don't understand at all. I've felt physically sick all day.
Calidude6 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 I go out, hang with friends and meet new girls. I have a good time but once I get in my car and go home, all I do is think about my ex. I think I'm comparing these girls to my ex because none of them I would date but I also truly do miss my ex as she does have my heart still. I really so bad want to talk to her but where will that get me? Please, someone tell me it's not a good thing to contact her. I hope she still misses me, its been 5 months so I doubt it.
TrevorDia Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Had a great message from her today - it was a real beauty: "Hi :)" "mm I need your help" "so I got this letter in the post today..." <and then described her problem at length> Now it feels downright mean to respond "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad it worked out like this for you. Sucks to be you!" - but you have no idea how badly I want to say that xD Similarly I'm dying to say "Sorry, I don't have this number - who are you?", but by lying I'd lower myself to her level. A part of me is happy that she came to me with her problem, but she only came to me because I'm the only English lawyer she knows. I really want to tell her to go **** herself. I know that if the Bible had a solution to this it would be something like "Don't message her back, just ignore it", and that's probably the "canon choice", but I've been waiting for this day - the day where she comes crawling back needing my help with something just so I can turn around and tell her where to shove her problem. Even the thought of being so cruel to someone who had been so cruel to me is making me grin. I'm going to ignore it. The alternative would be "I don't care - but here's the number of a few reputable lawyers who will charge £X for the service you are requiring", but why should I do something a phone directory can do. I'm still smiling at the prospect of telling her to shove it though 3
minimariah Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 I'm still smiling at the prospect of telling her to shove it though trust me... ignoring tastes much sweeter. don't respond, ever. 1
Thistooshallpass21 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Man after having the best night I've had since my break up I feel very down tonight. I had great night out with my friends and even had a girl ask me for my number (she was cute too), but I am jut strongly missing my ex tonight. I'm not missing the idea of having someone but the person she is, I miss her smile and her laugh which would brighten my day alone. I miss my best friend this break up feels so wrong to me. I am approximately 7 weeks out of the break up and 3 weeks into no contact and all I want to do is talk to her (I will not break no contact though as I have read on this site and know from past experience that it does no good). I don't know I just feel so lost and empty tonight. I've been doing everything I need to do to improve myself (been working out, indulging in new hobbies, and start a new job tomorrow) I just can't shake her. I know this is preaching to the choir and everyone has heard this but I know this girl is the girl for me. I have never had such a strong connection with anybody. I miss you beautiful, I wish there was something I could do to bring us back together, but there is not one thing I can do.
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