Woon Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 After a month of barely talking and arguing when we do, last night it all came out. Ex asked if i got a rebound(which i hadnt, the girl and i just talk). It all came out. She clearly still cares what i do/dont do and the reasons why she left me. So i told her how ive been using the last month to improve myself, for me. Not for her. she finished the convo with "ill think about everything and get back to you, ok?" nothing since, but she did disable her facebook. All in all, i feel that im in a better place than i was 2 days ago. Less confused and more hopeful. So im not going to contact her till the end of the weekend, to see what she has decided. Either way, she was right and this was the wake up call i needed.
NomiMalone Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Went out to dinner this evening with a friend. I thought it'd help take my mind off things, but it made me feel even worse. I'd forgotten how tiring this friend can be even though she has a heart of gold. I'm trying to not to be hard on myself about it, and see it for what it is - she and I, although friends, have mainly different interests.
Gwwm123 Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Feeling like an empty shell, nothing gives my joy, nothinggggg....anyone else feeling this way? 1
hotmrw Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi everyone, I am starting no contact Tomorrow 26/06/15 all my attempts to get back with my ex have failed, I neglected her, she left me for another guy we have a little 13 month old daughter together, I feel I have let her down she says she loves me but we will only ever be friends, this is going to kill me, I am heartbroken, I hope for some support on here Thanks everyone..
hotmrw Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi everyone, I have just said bye to my EX, I am dying, tried everything to get back with her, nothing worked, she left me for another guy down to my neglect, we have a 13 month old daughter, I have tried literally everything she told me today after I rung her upset that we will only ever be friends THIS NO CONTACT IS GOING TO KILL ME I am so so sad, never felt such pain in all my life
OldRover Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Hi everyone, I have just said bye to my EX, I am dying, tried everything to get back with her, nothing worked, she left me for another guy down to my neglect, we have a 13 month old daughter, I have tried literally everything she told me today after I rung her upset that we will only ever be friends THIS NO CONTACT IS GOING TO KILL ME I am so so sad, never felt such pain in all my life Wow, sounds lousy. Are you absolutely sure it's over? Counseling? With a 13mo old, it will be really hard, and if she loved you once, she "may" be worth working on. The other guy could just be a rebound. 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Today started out like any other day, but then while I was at work I saw something that triggered an incredibly vivid memory of my ex. It wasn't a bad memory, in fact it was a good memory from when we first met and were in the first exciting stages of lust/love. It made me think through our entire relationship and see how much it had changed from those happy times at the beginning to the ultimately horrible times near the end. I felt like I relived every second of the last 7 years with him in under 5 minutes. It was brutal. I feel emotionally drained, depressed, and so very lonely. He's got the woman he left me for, and I'm alone at 29 with no prospects that I have any interest in pursuing or being pursued by. I gave the best years of my 20's to him and it was all for nothing. Might as well start collecting cats so I can begin my life as the crazy cat lady who the kids will dare each other to ring the doorbell of on Halloween and who gives out celery sticks and packets of ketchup instead of candy. 1
TrevorDia Posted June 28, 2015 Posted June 28, 2015 The date went well, but got completely destroyed at work by a co-worker. Feeling a little on the depressed side. And Monday is tomorrow -.-
Calidude6 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I go out and hang with friends which is good but almost every where I've gone (vacation, bar, club, river) I still think about her or something pops up that reminds me of her. Especially if I see couples like I did on my vacation. It sucks that she pops into my head that much when I doubt it's like that for her. I was hanging out with a girl last night and a couple times my ex pops into my head and that's just not right. I have some issues lol or something. I think I was comparing feeling like this girl is nothing like my ex or as good. Oh well, I'm sure one day this will go away.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Today has been a really hard day. It's officially 2 months since BU and I faced a big setback the other night. I haven't been out of bed and have been sleeping all day. I haven't eaten, nor do I want to. I'm actually pretty angry at myself for feeding into my ex and his BS. I can't believe I was so stupid to take so long to realize he fits the criteria of a narcissist. I feel so stupid and foolish.
StrangerThanFiction Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I'm so stressed out and upset right now. My truck broke down this morning and I will potentially have to pay upwards of $1000 to get it fixed and I'm freaking out. All I want to do is call my ex. I'll say this for him at least, he was always good at talking me down and making me feel better when I was having a panic attack. I'm so afraid I won't be able to afford the repairs and I need my vehicle for my job and I don't know what to do.
Woon Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Today was a good day. 2 days solid NC from my side(not much, but more than ive been able to do the last 5 weeks) and i have no desire to break it. Actually hoping not to hear from her each day. Which, for me, is a very big deal. Work is going well, opportunity to make quite a bit of money came up today. Which has me excited and keeping my thoughts busy. Just got back from gym, upping the weight on everything. Reconfirming that hard work pays off. Now if only i can continue this well and she got the point that i dont want to talk to her or see her. 5weeks post BU. Things taking a turn for the better??? 1
OldSoul86 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I had a bit of a cry this morning while I was reading one of my breakup books. Reading that it was okay to not hold back the tears and that crying can facilitate healing made me well up a bit. I am not over her, I am not over the guilt, I am not over the pain, and I am still sad. The gut check post breakup is harsh but needed. I need to figure out why I give myself to emotionally damaged women, this isn't the first or even second time I have fallen in love with someone who has demons from their past that they have refused to address. Now I have my own demons to address, I need to figure out why I suffer White Knight Syndrome.
Calidude6 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I want to tell her I still love her and how much she still means to me but telling her that won't do me any good. Wish she knew how much I really loved her before she let it all go. Hopefully we'll cross paths one day again.
StrangerThanFiction Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Well, today ended on a good note. Turns out what was wrong with my truck wasn't what I thought it was and ended up being relatively cheap to fix. There's still a possibility that it wasn't the whole problem but for now she seems to be running smoothly. I also didn't allow myself to break down and call my ex. I have to learn to be emotionally self reliant and I think I'm on the right path. Almost 2 months of NC and I've been fighting the urge to FB stalk the OW like a champ (minus a few setbacks). Hooray for small victories! 1
darkbloom Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Coping. I never thought I would even make it here. Nor did I want to. I went kicking and screaming into NC because my heart couldn't take anymore damage from you. I didn't know a person could hurt so much for another soul, so thank you for showing me the depths that my feelings can go. I am so very sad for you. I pity you most of all and wonder why I couldn't save you. I know girls aren't supposed to be the heroes, but I could have been yours. If you let me. I am letting you go. I hope you can feel it from wherever you. 1
RileyPayne Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 I'm finding it fairly difficult today. It's a nice, hot, Tuesday. Tuesday was the day we'd see each other because we both had it off work. My mind is just thinking that now she is spending it with other boys, I'm eager to check in on her but I'm 8 days NC. Help.
Woon Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Another good day, bit of anxiety this morning, but that went away after journaling, which im surprised as hell works like a charm. Day3 NC went through without a hitch.
ASV Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Coping like ****. Some hours ago I felt relief at the whole thing, who-knows-why. The minute after I felt miserable and unable to find a better one while she may be having the time of her life enjoying her youth. Too much stalking on her comments on some of her friends' profiles (which are not even mine) do no good, too - even if they do not reveal anything to me. Six months have passed and I'm still at day ****ing one. Beginning new projects, lifting a lot, gaining muscle like hell, changing my clothes and lousy looks, starting new courses and working on myself won't do nothing. I miss her like nothing has happened since the BU. No way I'm thinking "who cares, she's not part of your life anymore". I just want her to start thinking I'm having fun as well, I'm over her and won't take her back. I want her to feel the same despair and loneliness as I've been experiencing. But most probably she won't even look at my public FB profile where I keep on being commented by good-looking women of all sorts and being tagged with them. Miserable, I know. But this BU has taken the worse part out of me. Can't get enough of those "dumper POV" blogs where it seems that she may not be feeling so well. Yeah, that's my awful self talking, and I don't really care a lot. All in all, she may not be feeling that terrible if she hasn't contacted back. Life sucks, work sucks, I wish I was never born. Once again, thank you Satu, Dyna, et al for the kind words - much appreciated.
OldSoul86 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 I'm pondering today. Pondering about how she is all wrong for me. Pondering my future - it is bright, I just need to realize it.
BriNyc82 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 @oldsoul86 hang in there. I'm the same as you. I keep investing in men who have demons from their past. And I don't know how it keeps happening when I'm specifically trying to find available men. Frustrating to no end. But just know that you are capable of having an open heart and that you can't change anyone. 1
OldSoul86 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 @oldsoul86 hang in there. I'm the same as you. I keep investing in men who have demons from their past. And I don't know how it keeps happening when I'm specifically trying to find available men. Frustrating to no end. But just know that you are capable of having an open heart and that you can't change anyone. Thank you BriNyc82 - I know we can do this! Just keep being you and keep putting yourself out there, someone will appreciate you.
BriNyc82 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Felt so strong today but the night time is the worst. I keep flip flopping back and forth from trying to believe that he is really petrified of relationships and that he needs to fix himself, then back to "he's just a coward that couldn't tell me the truth that he wanted this to end". Go figure our first fight would be our last. I don't know if he was holding me so tightly that last night because he didn't want to let me go. Or because he knew he had to let me go. But he did let me go and he hasn't contacted me since. How do you tell someone that you have strong feelings and that you really really don't want to lose them but you won't fight to keep them in your life? How are you not scared to lose me? Why am i the one going to therapy for this mess when you are the one with all the issues and admit to needing help. It's not fair
freebird31 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I have never felt better. I am the happiest I have been in years 3
candie13 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Today marks the end of the 7th week since I've left him. I am counting my blessings. I feel empowered, I've had more things done the last 2 weeks then ever before. I still miss him occasionally - especially when I didn't catch a lot of sleep and have plenty of sh*tty stuff to do ahead of me. Most of the time, I am secondguessing my decision to leave him that abruptly. He didn't do anything to stop me and I have the confirmation of the fact that he had emotionally withdrawn, anticipating my reaction, to some extent. I still resent him. I am almost sure he is dating someone else - he is a serial monogamist - but in the back of my head, I hope it stings like hell that I've dumped his arse from one day to the next. Bloody two faced bastard . Success is the best revenge. I'm much better at not look behind and just moving on. Much much better. 2
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