candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 woohhaaauuu, the voices inside my head, that is the worst. Never leave a woman alone with her thoughts, I tell you that ! 3
Yummm Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 woohhaaauuu, the voices inside my head, that is the worst. Never leave a woman alone with her thoughts, I tell you that ! Or a sensitive guy for that matter.. Friday night alone, after a relatively positive week tonight is quite hard, but dearly looking forward to tomorrow evening, just gotta ride through it I guess... Hey, alot of LS time tonight
Gwwm123 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 Awful and horrendous are the two words I can think of to describe my day. I am supposed to be enjoying my life which has been blessed with a healthy family and a lot of money, but I am not, I am nothing without her, I am an empty shell. When I think things will get better I get pulled back in by this loneliness and solitude that wont leave me. I am trying my hardest but she is there, constantly, in everything I do. I am holding back my tears but it is getting to a point where it is unbearable. I need her back, she might take me back......someday........
candie13 Posted June 5, 2015 Posted June 5, 2015 positive evening here too, after all. Deleted the common pics from my fb, statuses where he was tagged and all other little details that were hinting that I ever was in a RS. as clean as a dove. deleted the contact of his friend from my phone. ex from last summer came back and is pursuing me strongly. 10 months ago I would have been soo happy. Deleted his texts and his number as well. What the hell, fresh start. I'd better spend a weekend by myself than in poor company. 4
ephemeralme Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 teeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssssssss I miss you, I miss you , I miss you, I misssssssssssssssssssss YOU B***** the reality is sinking in, the belief and understanding in my gut that you aren't coming back.... the knowing you won't turn around and realize the goodness we shared and come back you have convinced yourself not to try, not to look at the positive and goodness you have separated yourself emotionally from me even though you know in your heart I gave love and brought goodness to you and our R. the things you found issue with... not such big things in the greater scheme of things, but maybe it was principle.. but you also know why.. unforgiving, closed heart... you chose to look at the worst instead of the best. you have BROKEN my heart and broken you promise the thought of someone else, dating again.... ugh....... makes me sick to my stomach. we were supposed to grow old and gray together. why...... ? why did you destroy this? sometimes I feel hatred toward you now for this
SDA Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/531986-hurting Is a link to my thread and story. She broke up with me to try to fix things. Have some space, focus on work and ourselves. The distance was wearing on us. She has contacted me numerous times to say she loves me, we're meant for each other but still needs time. Has suggests we take the summer off and revisit in August when's she's home. I'm having an awful couple days not being able to talk to her. I won't call or text, I will wait for her to do so. My mind is constantly racing about where she is, whose she's with, when she'll call next, thinking about how far away August is. Not doing well at all.
Ariess10 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/531986-hurting Is a link to my thread and story. She broke up with me to try to fix things. Have some space, focus on work and ourselves. The distance was wearing on us. She has contacted me numerous times to say she loves me, we're meant for each other but still needs time. Has suggests we take the summer off and revisit in August when's she's home. I'm having an awful couple days not being able to talk to her. I won't call or text, I will wait for her to do so. My mind is constantly racing about where she is, whose she's with, when she'll call next, thinking about how far away August is. Not doing well at all. don't put your life on hold waiting for August , I can tell you right now that is the worst thing you can do
SDA Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 don't put your life on hold waiting for August , I can tell you right now that is the worst thing you can do I'm not. I've been talking with another girl, working, keeping busy. But she's the one I love and I know she loves me. Long distance isn't easy. I hope it doesn't take 2 months
imtrying211 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 These past couple of days I've been doing OK. I hit a real low last week after finally giving up hope that he would ever come back. I think I needed to hit that low so that the only place to go from there was up. I'm still hurting but I'm able to look at things a little differently now. I appreciate the good times we had, and have no regrets. Looking back on the relationship and how it started, I don't think it even had a chance. At the time I thought it did, but I was just blinded by love. I hope that I continue on this upward climb and don't slip back to the misery that I had been feeling. I have to keep pushing out the negative, and let in only positive.
candie13 Posted June 6, 2015 Posted June 6, 2015 a guy from the past resurged lately. I've forced myself to see him 2 weeks after leaving you. Today I gave him the "let's be friends" speech. He didn't cut me off, didn't act like a wounded mademoiselle. Told me he had a crush on me since the first time he saw me. How about that, as an ego boost... how about that as showing emotions? This dude (lying or not) showed more emotion, was more straightforward about his feelings, after a couple of dates, than you, in 5 months. whatta day... I feel like laughing at myself for all this drama in a glass of water.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Has been a rough day today (mostly due to things outside of my ex relationship). I almost texted him. I was upset and wanted to tell him how much he's ****ed up my life. I went as far as to write out a long text, then thought better of it and deleted it. I have so much resentment against him it consumes me. I met a guy while out last night. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He's been texting me today, but I'm just not feeling it. Makes me wonder if I'm truly just not ready to date yet, or if he just isn't my type. I have no idea.
Ariess10 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Has been a rough day today (mostly due to things outside of my ex relationship). I almost texted him. I was upset and wanted to tell him how much he's ****ed up my life. I went as far as to write out a long text, then thought better of it and deleted it. I have so much resentment against him it consumes me. I met a guy while out last night. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He's been texting me today, but I'm just not feeling it. Makes me wonder if I'm truly just not ready to date yet, or if he just isn't my type. I have no idea. It's because it's too early after your break up . Give it time I mean hang out with the guy if you want but make it very very clear about your situation
mossycup Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 Starting a training program for Everest. My grandfather climbed halfway up - I plan on at least making it that far. Twelve months of regimented dieting and exercise. If nothing else, it'll be a yearlong distraction. I love that you are doing this!! I have agoraphobia and I was making lots of progress this year, some with help from ex, some on my own. When he left I was not only devastated by the loss, but also, concerned a little about my progress. Since he left, I've been continuing my progress and I have driven a car for thirty minutes plus got gas, and gone downtown a night. Both are a big deal for me! I actually set a goal of climbing Everest after we broke up as something to imagine myself doing one day. I love that you are doing it!! And maybe I will too one day!!
dyna85 Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I'm feeling so extremely weak. It's been 5+ months NC and I want nothing more than to contact him. I want to text him so bad. It's killing me not to do so. It shouldn't. I should be so over this by now. Someone help! Please.
SDA Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 I'm feeling so extremely weak. It's been 5+ months NC and I want nothing more than to contact him. I want to text him so bad. It's killing me not to do so. It shouldn't. I should be so over this by now. Someone help! Please. I'm so sorry you feel this way. A lot of people here, including me know how you feel. If you do contact him, you'll set yourself back the progress you've made, even if you feel like you haven't. People heal at different rates. Keep with the process, I know there's nothing else you can do but try to distract yourself and give yourself time. 2
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 7, 2015 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) It's because it's too early after your break up . Give it time I mean hang out with the guy if you want but make it very very clear about your situation Yeah, you may be right. I had a couple of men approach me this weekend, and I just wasn't feeling it. I thought I was ready. Guess not. I just cannot, for the life of me, rebound. Wish I could say the same for my ex. As for coping today: it's a little hard, because I found out that not only is he still talking to this LD girl (who seems to really be going hard at him for a relationship), but he's also trying to have sex with girls here. Not sure why I ever thought he could change. He's having the "relationship" stuff with a girl long distance, and hooking up here. Why do men do this? I guess I dodged a bullet. It was too much for him to have someone physically here who loved him. Also, when I'm out (like last night), and I talk to men, his best buddies always are right there staring. I know they tell him who I talk to as well. Why do his friends do this? Can someone give me some insight? He broke up with me! Why should he care who I talk to? Edited June 7, 2015 by ColdandLonelyinAK
Zetec Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Having such a bad day already. I woke up feeling terrible - she is on my mind. Sat here at work, I can't even concentrate on my work.
Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It bloody hurts. It hurts so much. Why does this pain feel never ending? It's like I feel guilty for having short bursts of happiness over the last week. It also hurts to know that people aren't what they seemed to be. The people who you trusted so much can hurt you so bad. Why do the good guys get hurt? So many @ss's out there who have an emotional wall and can power through anything, yet the good sensitive guys get shattered.
dyna85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Ok peeps. I cannot say that I am respecting NC protocols. I caved and checked his social media last night and this morning. I'm 5+ months NC. One might say that this was a foolish foolish move on my part. I get it. I don't plan on doing it again. However, I will say I actually feel better for having done so. Maybe it's temporary relief. Who knows. All I can say is I feel like a weight has been lifted and I'm feeling good today. I can also say that it's better to check social media than to contact the person and be kicking yourself later, so I took the lesser of two evils approach, and I'm thankful I did. Can I also say that I could see people reconnecting much sooner in the old days, because of the lack of ability to take a peek online and get that relief of knowing the world still turns? Does anyone feel me on this? With that said, I do recommend the complete NC approach and I am not going to check again. It didn't invoke the reaction I thought it would (ie. I wasn't feeling that intense longing, like 'I'm gonna die if I can't be with him' as I have in the past). Therefore, I proved to myself that I've made progress and it feels good. Hope this gives others hope that it does getter better in time, even if you feel all hope is lost.
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 ^^^ I did the exact same yesterday (granted I was a little tipsy at the time, but I pretty much knew the consequences). It actually made me feel better, because it made me realize what a pig my ex is and strengthened my resolve. After hearing some things about his actions, I unblocked him and learned he is in a "relationship" of sorts with a girl online, but have been told by people here that he is trying to have sex with women here. I dodged a bullet. I do agree that it makes you less likely to contact the person. Good job on stayi NC so long.
Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) It didn't invoke the reaction I thought it would (ie. I wasn't feeling that intense longing, like 'I'm gonna die if I can't be with him' as I have in the past). Therefore, I proved to myself that I've made progress and it feels good. I'm sorry dyna but I don't think this is a great way to think. I also felt this way the other night (check my post in my thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated) and when I saw just bog standard updates and pics, it didn't effect me like I thought it would. I then checked her profile yesterday and to my horror she was looking stunning wearing a dress that I bought her that she said she was never going wear and wanted me to take back. You may feel a small high now as it didn't effect you much, but you risk having a look and seeing something you really don't want to see, which sets you back. It's not necessary to stalk atall, nor say stalking is better than contact, because it's not (with regards to healing). Just be careful, I would delete him from social media, it's not worth it! Edited June 8, 2015 by Yummm
StrangerThanFiction Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I'm really struggling today. I keep flip-flopping between missing him and being really angry. I keep going over the things he did to me and how he treated the OW so good instead. I wonder why I wasn't good enough for him to take me on holidays like he did her. Why I wasn't good enough for him to make effort to make me feel loved and special like he did for her. Why he started working out for her and not me. Why he bought things for her while it was me paying for everything. I'm so hurt and angry right now. I thought I was doing good, but today's been really rough. I want to not hurt anymore and just be able to let it all go.
dyna85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 ^^^ I did the exact same yesterday (granted I was a little tipsy at the time, but I pretty much knew the consequences). It actually made me feel better, because it made me realize what a pig my ex is and strengthened my resolve. After hearing some things about his actions, I unblocked him and learned he is in a "relationship" of sorts with a girl online, but have been told by people here that he is trying to have sex with women here. I dodged a bullet. I do agree that it makes you less likely to contact the person. Good job on stayi NC so long. Yeah, I found out some things that helped turn my mindset too. It's weird how that works. It is a bit annoying to have been involved with someone without knowing who they truly were on the inside. Now I know the red flags, but I just wish I didn't need this lesson to learn who to trust and who I should be sure to avoid. As with all things in life though, this serves as a wake up call, and we can become stronger for this disappointment of an experience. I agree that you and I dodged a bullet, having read some of your backstory. Hey Yummm, you have a very valid point. I won't keep checking though. It's been pretty much like once a month or so that I've felt like I had to check. But I see what you mean since I did check last night AND today. So not going in the right direction. I did not mean checking on the social media is good. Certainly avoid it at all costs. However, as I felt compelled, I ended up giving into temptation. While I'm not proud of myself and do not advocate ever looking, if you can resist the urge permanently, I do think there is something to be said for falling off the wagon a few times before being set for the long haul. I remember in my first breakup, I resisted checking very often, and only checked here and there, until I didn't any longer. Don't worry, I don't plan on doing it again. I know it was a slip up and shame on me. However, at the same time, I had a laugh at something and it helped my perspective somewhat, so I can't say it was all negative. But yes, NC 100% is the best. I gave myself some leeway as I'm not at the 6 month mark (excuses excuses, I know), but starting today, I won't do it again. You stay strong too. You're doing well but in the early stages. It will get easier. 2
Yummm Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Thank you, I really hope it does get easier. I'm just over 1 month after BU and the last week has been pretty damn positive. Feeling strong, after not responding to her breadcrumbs I felt empowered and positive. Had a great weekend and BAM, within 24 hours I feel like the world crashed down on me again. I'm used to the ups and downs, but didn't expect this down to be so potent. But I guess its the shock of seeing her in my beautiful dress followed by finally deleting her from Facebook. I guess deep down there was that 'hope' and now after deleting her and seeing her on Tinder it really is 'acceptance' time. I hope I feel better soon :/
dyna85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Thank you, I really hope it does get easier. I'm just over 1 month after BU and the last week has been pretty damn positive. Feeling strong, after not responding to her breadcrumbs I felt empowered and positive. Had a great weekend and BAM, within 24 hours I feel like the world crashed down on me again. I'm used to the ups and downs, but didn't expect this down to be so potent. But I guess its the shock of seeing her in my beautiful dress followed by finally deleting her from Facebook. I guess deep down there was that 'hope' and now after deleting her and seeing her on Tinder it really is 'acceptance' time. I hope I feel better soon :/ You will continue to improve in time. It just takes a lot of time for us sensitive peeps...and we freak out when we think we're not moving on at what seems like a proper pace. Yet, the heart heals at its own pace and eventually you will get to a spot where things will level off and you will feel better about yourself. I know around the one month mark I was so extremely upset after checking his social media and I vowed to absolutely never go there again, because it devastated me. However, I think I got an urge like 2-3 months later and I gave in..still felt awfully upset. Honestly, it wasn't until checking last night and today at the 5+ month mark that it actually helped me feel better. Don't ask me why. I think bc it made me further recognize he's not Mr. Right. I don't want to give deets, but there were things I saw that helped me gain some further perspective. Just give it time. Time heals all and provides every answer you need. Trust and have faith.
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